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(CNN)   You may want to sit down for this: Africans ready for African Pope   (edition.cnn.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, Africans, National Catholic Reporter, Popes, Zimbabwean, ongoing wars  
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1759 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2013 at 7:52 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-12 07:56:48 AM  
That's nice.
 
2013-03-12 07:57:37 AM  
Well one thing the Catholic Church has always been is progressive
 
2013-03-12 07:59:59 AM  
If it can stem the tide of fundamentalist Protestantism on the continent, I'm all for it.

The dominionist movement is getting a foothold there and people are getting crushed under the Christian equivalent of Sharia Law.

Likewise, a stronger catholic presence and representation could help hold back the rise of Islam in Africa.
 
2013-03-12 08:01:02 AM  
God is white.

Get that through your ignorant heads.

He wants a white pope.
 
2013-03-12 08:06:34 AM  
White smoke, black Pope!
 
2013-03-12 08:08:52 AM  
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
As long as he preaches exactly like this man, I'd consider converting to Catholicism.
/You nincomfarkingpoop! I got Jesus inside me! Your ass is doomed, Biatch!!
 
2013-03-12 08:09:02 AM  
We need the holy war in Africa. Mental illness in affect.
 
2013-03-12 08:13:57 AM  
I always sit down when I pope.
 
2013-03-12 08:15:23 AM  
Forget about Muslims taking over the world.  It's the Africans you have to worry about.  First they took over the Whitehouse, now they're taking over the Popehouse, too.  Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife.
 
2013-03-12 08:17:44 AM  
I'll bet the Jews are ready for a Jewish pope too.
 
2013-03-12 08:22:40 AM  
forums.pelicanparts.com
obligatory...
 
2013-03-12 08:23:38 AM  
If they get a black pope, can we make chocolate popes? I always thought there should be chocolate MLK's for MLK day and Black History Month. Can we get some chocolate Obamas with vanilla creme filling?
 
2013-03-12 08:26:36 AM  
Non-African Catholics, on the other hand, are not opposed to a black Pope in principle, but want to see his birth certificate to make sure he's really eligible to be Pope.
 
2013-03-12 08:35:49 AM  

freewill: Non-African Catholics, on the other hand, are not opposed to a black Pope in principle, but want to see his birth certificate to make sure he's really eligible to be Pope.


I remember when they asked to see Jesus' birth certificate. Awkward.
 
gfs
2013-03-12 08:37:12 AM  
Did the first 3 African popes not count...?

/confused
 
2013-03-12 08:55:14 AM  
Afripope!
 
2013-03-12 09:03:47 AM  
"I said, the pope is a nig---" (crowd cheers)

Well, that's one way to kill Catholicism in America, while simultaneously increasing KKK membership.
 
2013-03-12 09:06:12 AM  
South African, right?
 
2013-03-12 09:08:23 AM  
Are we really ready for Pope Ray Ray?
 
2013-03-12 09:10:22 AM  
As a Catholic, I view the Vatican more as a business entity than anything else. Oh sure, they advise on morals, but if one studies on that for a bit it makes absolutely no sense, what with their reaction to the pedophile priests and the other financial scandals. In those cases the Holy Catholic Church protected their assets (the priests) over doing the morally correct thing.

If you view them like that, as a business entity instead of a church, an African pope makes perfect sense. This is the worlds last open market to be exploited, an entire continent of people who could, with the proper missionary work, be converted into a new base of Catholics. It doesn't hurt that Africa is mineral and oil rich, either. They sure ain't going to be expanding into China. Sure, the Catholic church has been in Africa in a big way for centuries now, but nothing sways people like putting one of their own in charge. And there is no group more race conscious than Africans, one just needs to look at the solid voting blocks of African-Americans in the USA, or similar situations in other places around the world to see that. Putting Cardinal Peter Turkson, 64, of Ghana in as pope may be just the ticket to give their business expansion the edge over the Muslims and the monied hordes of American prods.
And who cares what the White and Latino Catholics are going to say anyways? They swallowed the pedophile priest scandal and paid for their lawsuits will hardly a ripple. They'll do the same with a black pope.
 
2013-03-12 09:18:17 AM  
Just what africa needs, one of their own to tell them that condoms are evil and gay sex is hunky dory.

/smh
 
2013-03-12 09:24:03 AM  
www.morethings.com
 
2013-03-12 09:32:12 AM  
What's wrong with a Papal hologram?

assets.rollingstone.com
 
2013-03-12 09:42:54 AM  
It will be a southern Italian man from a poor area.
 
2013-03-12 09:57:15 AM  

EKU Colonel: South African, right?


This was my first thought. Troll everyone by using a white person who's from Africa, since it's a continent not a race or ethnicity.
 
2013-03-12 10:01:21 AM  
Will this make the tail-end of a turkey larger and somewhat flared?

/me dear old mudder called it the pope's nose
//protestant, obviously
 
2013-03-12 10:13:05 AM  
You'd think they'd learn some lessons from history......
 
2013-03-12 10:36:17 AM  
 
2013-03-12 10:39:50 AM  

Evil Mackerel: It will be a southern Italian man from a poor area.


so, only about half African?

The Moors, you know...
 
2013-03-12 10:44:32 AM  

JackieRabbit: "I said, the pope is a nig---" (crowd cheers)

Well, that's one way to kill Catholicism in America, while simultaneously increasing KKK membership.


"Hold it! The next man makes a move, the Pope gets it!

Hold it, men -- he's not bluffing!

Listen to him! He's just crazy enough to do it!"

/No photoshop contest? I am disappoint.
//And at work, so couldn't participate anyway....
 
2013-03-12 10:47:18 AM  

LemSkroob: Great. so instead of ass-ramming little boys, they will instead cut the clits off little girls. Now thats a step in the right direction!

http://english.alarabiya.net/en/News/2013/03/11/Tunisian-MP-stirs-ro w- after-female-circumcision-remarks-.html

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/ny-vics-genital-mutilation-lead- cr y-practice-u-s-article-1.1282732


24.media.tumblr.com
Are you against God?
 
2013-03-12 10:52:40 AM  

LemSkroob: Evil Mackerel: It will be a southern Italian man from a poor area.

so, only about half African?

The Moors, you know...


Italy is part of Africa now?
 
2013-03-12 11:00:30 AM  
Just like in America -  give the ball to Leroy
 
2013-03-12 11:20:44 AM  
Black Men Can't Pray
Starring Wesley Snipes as  Cardinal Peter Turkson
and Woody Harrelson as Pope Benedict XVI.

/The feel-good summer hit of the year.
 
2013-03-12 11:34:45 AM  
GIS for Never going to happen

images.sodahead.com
 
2013-03-12 12:00:43 PM  
Here come de Pope! Here come de Pope!
 
2013-03-12 12:06:43 PM  
We Pope now...
 
2013-03-12 12:07:59 PM  
Also, in before crappy shoops of the Popemobile with 22's and Dro calling us all bigots...
 
2013-03-12 12:16:56 PM  
I soooooooo want a black pope just to see the look on my racist Irish Catholic Grandma's face.

The cognitive dissonance may just kill her.
 
2013-03-12 12:56:16 PM  

LemSkroob: Evil Mackerel: It will be a southern Italian man from a poor area.

so, only about half African?

The Moors, you know...


I'm sorry, the card says Moops.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

/couldn't resist
 
2013-03-12 01:09:33 PM  

Evil Mackerel: LemSkroob: Evil Mackerel: It will be a southern Italian man from a poor area.

so, only about half African?

The Moors, you know...

Italy is part of Africa now?


Hundreds of years ago, you see eh, the Moors conquered Sicily. And the Moors are (Attractive and Successful African Americans). You see, way back then, Sicilians seemed like waps from Northern Italy. They all had blond hair, blue eyes. But eh, well, then the Moors moved in and eh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much farking with Sicilian women that they changed the whole bloodline forever. That's why blond hair, blue eyes, became black hair, dark skin. You know, it's absolutely amazing to me, to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that eh, that Sicilians still carry that (Attractive and Successful African Americans) gene. This eh... No, I'm quting history... It's written. It's a fact, it's written....Your ancestors are (Attractive and Successful African Americans) . Haha. Yeah. And your great, great, great, great grandmother farked a (Attractive and Successful African American) . Yeah. And she had a half (Attractive and Successful African American) kid. Now if that's a fact, tell me... am I lyin'? 'Cause you are part eggplant.
 
2013-03-12 01:13:02 PM  
Pope and Change
s17.postimage.org
 
2013-03-12 02:47:33 PM  

LemSkroob: Evil Mackerel: LemSkroob: Evil Mackerel: It will be a southern Italian man from a poor area.

so, only about half African?

The Moors, you know...

Italy is part of Africa now?

Hundreds of years ago, you see eh, the Moors conquered Sicily. And the Moors are (Attractive and Successful African Americans). You see, way back then, Sicilians seemed like waps from Northern Italy. They all had blond hair, blue eyes. But eh, well, then the Moors moved in and eh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much farking with Sicilian women that they changed the whole bloodline forever. That's why blond hair, blue eyes, became black hair, dark skin. You know, it's absolutely amazing to me, to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that eh, that Sicilians still carry that (Attractive and Successful African Americans) gene. This eh... No, I'm quting history... It's written. It's a fact, it's written....Your ancestors are (Attractive and Successful African Americans) . Haha. Yeah. And your great, great, great, great grandmother farked a (Attractive and Successful African American) . Yeah. And she had a half (Attractive and Successful African American) kid. Now if that's a fact, tell me... am I lyin'? 'Cause you are part eggplant.


And you're a cantaloupe.
 
2013-03-12 02:54:06 PM  
Lt. Cheese Weasel:
Just what africa needs, one of their own to tell them that condoms are evil and gay sex is hunky dory.

Yeah, the African Christians tend to be crazy hardcore.  You get an American or a Canadian, he may be willing to listen on condoms or gay rights stuff.
 
2013-03-12 02:58:35 PM  
I would say "no" but AverageAmericanGuy makes a good strategic case. Provided the African Pope was not a total loony or reactionary, he might be able to anchor the three-way tug-of-war for African souls between reaction, modernity and superstition.

He might, for example, be able to provide some moral guidance on important non-sexual matters such as 1) killing and cutting up albinos for magical body parts; 2) torturing, raping and killing innocent men, women and children as "witches"; 3) child slavery, child soldiers and other forms of child abuse; 4) the abysmal status of women, including the kind of concubinage that some of us have been mis-naming "white slavery" for a couple of centuries; and 5) the ongoing trials and tribulations of poverty, war, pestilence, death, and famine.

The Church does have a certain degree of credibility which could be used for good instead of evil. A revival of its pro-poor and pro-humanity agenda might indeed hold back the barbarians of Dominionism and jihadi Islam. They need the competition.
 
2013-03-12 03:00:43 PM  
I thought a cantaloupe was a cross between a camel and an antelope, or "llama".
 
2013-03-12 03:04:42 PM  

SirEattonHogg: Lt. Cheese Weasel:
Just what africa needs, one of their own to tell them that condoms are evil and gay sex is hunky dory.

Yeah, the African Christians tend to be crazy hardcore.  You get an American or a Canadian, he may be willing to listen on condoms or gay rights stuff.


Not that stupid Quebecer they got in the running.  That dude is a farking menace.
 
2013-03-12 03:21:07 PM  
I think the Canadian, Cardinal Marc Ouillet, has a real chance because he is smart, speaks many languages, is young and healthy, is conservative enough to deny abortion even in the case of rape, and is a kindly-looking guy with a sense of humour (something the Italian Cardinals seem to be entirely devoid of) who might recall the popular John Paul II. If it comes down to a hard decision, with dead-locked candidates, Cardinal Ouillet could be a shoo-in as an acceptable candidate, assuming the Cardinals want a candidate who's not going to up and quit just because he looks and feels like the living dead.

And I'm not just saying that because 1) he is descended from a couple of my great-great-great-great-great-great-great (7-great) grandparents and 2) I want to be able to say "We have a Pope!"

I have Roman Catholic relations. I'd like to see their faces when I tell them "we have a Pope". I also have some Baptist relations--some of them are apparently survivalist crazy--not to mention the usual assortment of other Protestant sects and denominations. I wouldn't tell most of them "we have a Pope" but I would smirk a lot when I think about it.

On the other hand, the Papal visit to Canada of John Paul II was one of the most-over-hyped events of Canadian history. And it was the year of the Olympics. And the Queen was supposed to visit. And I really, really, really hate that damn song "God is Watching Us (from a distance)".

NOT FARKING FAR ENOUGH IF IT INVOLVES PEOPLE SINGING THAT SONG. Second only to "The Rose" on my all-time hate list, although "The Mule-Skinner Blues" is up there.

Can you imagine what a Papal Visit to Canada of a Canadian Pope would involve? Clouds of
smug thicker than Prius drivers can breathe safely while lying down.

It might spark off a religious revival that would split the country. Then again, it might be the death of Stephen Harper's self-righteous, dogmatic and aggressively offensive unsilent non-majority.

So much to hope and to fear.
 
2013-03-12 04:12:13 PM  
I thought there was a Black Pope already...

www.wrestlingopedia.com
 
2013-03-12 09:27:04 PM  
Are they watermelon flavor? I am asking becase it is that time of year, and I can't wait to fill my mouth with them.

Pope?

I thought it said peeps.

/I'm not so down with the filling of orifices with pope.
 
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