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(Fox News)   Open Source Intelligence reports North Korea may have Chinese and Russian ICBM control electronics, Electro-Magnetic Pulse warheads, and plan a high-altitude burst over the Pacific Ocean. Sleep tight, America   (foxnews.com ) divider line
    More: Scary, EMP, North Koreans, Pacific Oceans, Chinese, open source, intercontinental ballistic missiles, interceptors, Republic of Korea Armed Forces  
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9090 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2013 at 4:37 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



169 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-03-11 10:46:07 PM  
Yet they don't have food for their people nor do they have enough fuel to mobilize their army.

I'll sleep safe and sound, thanks.
 
2013-03-11 10:53:31 PM  
And my aunt may have balls and actually be my uncle but it's highly unlikely
 
2013-03-11 11:02:23 PM  
Luckily for us, our ICBMs will still work as designed.
 
2013-03-11 11:05:00 PM  
If they wanted to cripple us with just the EMP they'd use a small nuke in a plane.
 
2013-03-11 11:18:58 PM  
That sounded convincing and quite alarming at first. Then I got to the paragraph that started with "President George W. Bush understood..." and realized WTF I was reading. The next paragraph started with "Unfortunately, President Obama..."

I have a pretty good idea what came after that.
 
2013-03-11 11:27:45 PM  

MrBallou: That sounded convincing and quite alarming at first. Then I got to the paragraph that started with "President George W. Bush understood..." and realized WTF I was reading. The next paragraph started with "Unfortunately, President Obama..."

I have a pretty good idea what came after that.


That's all the summary I need.
Thank you for saving me time.
 
2013-03-11 11:46:26 PM  
"Open Source Intelligence" is basically a fancy way of saying "stuff we read on the internet."
 
2013-03-11 11:47:03 PM  

RobertBruce: If they wanted to cripple us with just the EMP they'd use a small nuke in a plane.


or the GoldenEye. But that's Russian..
 
2013-03-11 11:48:39 PM  

Joelogon: "Open Source Intelligence" is basically a fancy way of saying "stuff we read on the internet."


You mean 90% of what the CIA does is read foreign press? Get the f*ck outta town!?!

I'm surprised they didn't go with "some blogger."
 
2013-03-11 11:55:34 PM  
"Sleep Tight" or "It's getting dusty in here"

Which headline meme is more annoying lately
 
2013-03-11 11:57:16 PM  
They may have an army of flying monkeys, too
 
2013-03-11 11:58:54 PM  

Snarfangel: Luckily for us, our ICBMs will still work as designed.


what's that, like an IBM?  or a Packard Bell?
 
2013-03-12 12:00:28 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: Packard Bell


Jesus Christ! Grandpa? I thought you died 10 years ago?
 
2013-03-12 12:06:05 AM  

RobertBruce: If they wanted to cripple us with just the EMP they'd use a small nuke in a plane.


does north korea have planes that can fly that far?? LOL
I guess they could smuggle the bomb onto a chinese plane.
 
2013-03-12 12:12:21 AM  
blogs.scientificamerican.com

Misery loves company.

the norks want us all to look as lights-out as they do?
 
2013-03-12 12:13:46 AM  
Absolute bullshiat.  They can't possibly have the miniaturization down to the point where they can fit a nuclear warhead in a missile.

Of course, saying they have "Electro-Magnetic Pulse warheads" to go with the nukes is proof they don't have the slightest clue what the fark they are talking about.

So of course Fox publishes it as news.
 
2013-03-12 12:15:55 AM  

NewportBarGuy: Yet they don't have food for their people nor do they have enough fuel to mobilize their army.


The first job of such governments is neither to feed their people nor fuel their army. It is to stay in power against real or perceived enemies. The U.S. and Soviets both had plenty of hungry and homeless people during the Cold War but chose instead to build enough nukes to destroy each other many times over.
 
2013-03-12 12:20:05 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: They may have an army of flying monkeys, too


Aeeiigh!

Hey, that aint funny!  You shouldnt joke about that.
 
2013-03-12 12:27:12 AM  
Ok.

cbrownley.files.wordpress.com

North Korea is a farking joke. They are to international security what the Jacksonville Jaguars are to the NFL, if the Jags were required to play without a quarterback and to have at least 8 long snappers on the field at all times. The greatest threat to their armed forces is farking  starvation, and that's while they're at  peace.
 
2013-03-12 12:29:10 AM  

Frederick: MaudlinMutantMollusk: They may have an army of flying monkeys, too

Aeeiigh!

Hey, that aint funny!  You shouldnt joke about that.


I ain't worried

/fella down the road sold me a big ol' can of flying monkey repellant
//and I know it works 'cause I ain't seen one since
 
2013-03-12 12:32:34 AM  

Somacandra: The first job of such governments is neither to feed their people nor fuel their army. It is to stay in power against real or perceived enemies. The U.S. and Soviets both had plenty of hungry and homeless people during the Cold War but chose instead to build enough nukes to destroy each other many times over.


Neither country was ever in the dire straits North Korea is in. The only thing that changed is that they got a new leader who needs to appear tough or he's going to get whacked.

The first job of such countries is self preservation and maintaining their power structure. China is ready to smack the sh*t out of them even with the refugee problem they fear. They're bad for business. Fat Kid is f*cking up, big time.

Also, since when are we comparing North Korea with the Soviet Union and the United States?
 
2013-03-12 12:33:18 AM  

dethmagnetic: Ok.

[cbrownley.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]

North Korea is a farking joke. They are to international security what the Jacksonville Jaguars are to the NFL, if the Jags were required to play without a quarterback and to have at least 8 long snappers on the field at all times. The greatest threat to their armed forces is farking  starvation, and that's while they're at  peace.


You go ahead and think that, but when the Red Dawn comes, don't expect me to break you out of the camp.
 
2013-03-12 12:39:48 AM  

DanZero: "Sleep Tight" or "It's getting dusty in here"

Which headline meme is more annoying lately


I'll be better able to tell you when the oil hits the anus.

/icy-hot stutaz 4eva!!!1
//old-skool Fark represent
///also, how's Henry Earl doing? I can't find a current update on the intertubes later than 2010.
 
2013-03-12 12:48:17 AM  
thebusypost.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-12 01:08:27 AM  
I'll sleep like Sunny Von Bulow.

dethmagnetic:
North Korea is a farking joke. They are to international security what the Jacksonville Jaguars are to the NFL, if the Jags were required to play without a quarterback and to have at least 8 long snappers on the field at all times. The greatest threat to their armed forces is farking  starvation, and that's while they're at  peace.

Pretty much this.
 
2013-03-12 01:49:22 AM  
Further, Dr. Vincent Pry from the U.S. Nuclear Strategy Forum, has recently made a convincing case that North Korea possesses an Electromagnetic Pulse (EMP) nuclear warhead which would have the ability to take out a national power grid and destroy critical infrastructures throughout the U.S.

they might do better by zapping Japan during the height of daily trading.  one good pulse and a couple billion in stock transactions goes *poof*.  oh sure they'll eventually get the data back but by that point you've achieved your goal of world wide market instability.  follow that up with an EMP somewhere along the west coast of the US (washington state or a city in California, dealers choice) and everyone will go into a tailspin panic that will far outstrip the damage Nkorea would be able to achieve via military conquest.  chaos and panic, market instability, and everyone goes nuts.  bonus points for racking off some missiles towards Taiwan, just because hey - why not right?

Mind you, NKorea will promptly cease to exist as a country shortly afterwards...but if they really WANT to go all stabby they could do it.
 
2013-03-12 01:54:42 AM  

GAT_00: Absolute bullshiat.  They can't possibly have the miniaturization down to the point where they can fit a nuclear warhead in a missile.

I

think its possible.  unlikely but very possible.  the technology we're talking about is old, stable and well known.  we've done well to keep the details secret on nuclear weapons but lets be honest - 70 years is a long time to keep something like that under a rock.  granted, the tech is expensive and demanding but...not all that difficult to acquire.  with all our attention focused on Iran, the norks could have done it.  well, more likely flat out bought it but still.
 
2013-03-12 02:02:03 AM  

MrBallou: That sounded convincing and quite alarming at first. Then I got to the paragraph that started with "President George W. Bush understood..." and realized WTF I was reading. The next paragraph started with "Unfortunately, President Obama..."

I have a pretty good idea what came after that.


I had the exact same reaction, shoulda expected it given the source.
 
2013-03-12 02:11:41 AM  

Weaver95: Further, Dr. Vincent Pry from the U.S. Nuclear Strategy Forum, has recently made a convincing case that North Korea possesses an Electromagnetic Pulse (EMP) nuclear warhead which would have the ability to take out a national power grid and destroy critical infrastructures throughout the U.S.



The same Dr. Peter Vincent Pry who makes his nut running around screaming "the sky is falling!" about possible EMP attacks?  Say it isn't so.
 
2013-03-12 02:20:04 AM  
FTFA (emphasis added):

"Van D. Hipp, Jr. is Chairman of American Defense International, Inc., a Washington, D.C.-based consulting firm specializing in government affairs, business development and public relations. He is the former Deputy Assistant Secretary of the U.S. Army and currently serves on Board of Directors of the American Conservative Union and The National Capitol Board of The Salvation Army."

i.imgur.com

Much like earnings reports, where all the useful information is tucked away in the Notes to the Consolidated Financial Statements, the best way to read any "call to arms" is by first scrolling to the end of the document, and then slowly working your way back up.
 
2013-03-12 02:29:54 AM  

Weaver95: GAT_00: Absolute bullshiat.  They can't possibly have the miniaturization down to the point where they can fit a nuclear warhead in a missile.

I think its possible.  unlikely but very possible.  the technology we're talking about is old, stable and well known.  we've done well to keep the details secret on nuclear weapons but lets be honest - 70 years is a long time to keep something like that under a rock.  granted, the tech is expensive and demanding but...not all that difficult to acquire.  with all our attention focused on Iran, the norks could have done it.  well, more likely flat out bought it but still.



What the hell do they have to trade to get that tech?  I highly doubt they have it.  It's a bluff.

And even so, we NEVER could have done squat about it. Last time we tried, we damn near started WWIII

They are on a border with China., who will absolutely not let us do anything  to them

They've got a bomb. We know that much.

We can't invade , we can't take a strike at them or South Korea will pay the price.

Hell, all they have to do is drive it up to the DMZ and vaporize it and they will hurt the U.S.  and South Korea.
 
2013-03-12 02:30:53 AM  
Oh wait its Fox News, who are desperately craving a war with somebody since the war in Iraq is over and the war in Afghanistan is going to be over soon.  So this story has less crdibility than an article in The Onion.
 
2013-03-12 02:35:38 AM  

dethmagnetic: Ok.

[cbrownley.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]

North Korea is a farking joke. They are to international security what the Jacksonville Jaguars Cleveland Browns are to the NFL, if the Jags Browns were required to play without a quarterback and to have at least 8 long snappers on the field at all times. The greatest threat to their armed forces is farking  starvation, and that's while they're at  peace.


FTFY
 
2013-03-12 02:35:57 AM  

Twilight Farkle: Much like earnings reports, where all the useful information is tucked away in the Notes to the Consolidated Financial Statements, the best way to read any "call to arms" is by first scrolling to the end of the document, and then slowly working your way back up.


Good point.  The reader should be aware of the motivations of the sources.
 
2013-03-12 02:42:21 AM  
For some reason I'm not worried.
 
2013-03-12 02:50:08 AM  

Darth_Lukecash: They've got a bomb. We know that much.


I'm not even convinced of that.  And even Israel had to secretly test their miniaturization technology to get it right.  I find it beyond incredibly unlikely that NK has progressed to that point.
 
2013-03-12 02:57:06 AM  

GAT_00: Darth_Lukecash: They've got a bomb. We know that much.

I'm not even convinced of that.  And even Israel had to secretly test their miniaturization technology to get it right.  I find it beyond incredibly unlikely that NK has progressed to that point.


When I say they have the bomb, I don't mean something that they actually can put on a missile.  They've got something they can detonate. We're not talking anything fancy here.   Put on truck, drive it to the site, and blammo!

Unless you  believe previous test were conventional explosives and they were pretending to launch the bomb...
 
2013-03-12 03:06:28 AM  

Frederick: Twilight Farkle: Much like earnings reports, where all the useful information is tucked away in the Notes to the Consolidated Financial Statements, the best way to read any "call to arms" is by first scrolling to the end of the document, and then slowly working your way back up.

Good point. The reader should be aware of the motivations of the sources.


The red flag (heh) was how it read like a mishmash of the smartest/funniest posts in the threads here over the past week.

If they'd picked one scenario and rolled with it, possibly introducing something not generally known to the hive mind of the internet, it might have been plausible, but by trying to mash up every scenario, including the ones that aren't contingent upon each other, and some of which might be partially/mutually exclusive... no, just no. Not even wrong.

Seriously, integrating Chinese and Russian ICBM controls? Mars Climate Orbiter burned up because Lockheed-Martin worked in Imperial units and JPL worked in metric units, and that was with fat budgets and everyone trying their damndest to make it work.

What could possibly go wrong when the Best Koreans, operating on a shoestring budget, attempt to integrate components from the Russians and the Chinese, both of whom themselves are operate on shoestring budgets...

OK, so an EMP over the Pacific, which might make for a bad day in Hawaii because he doesn't have the range... Wait, it needs to be a device small enough for one of his unreliable launchers to put it into orbit, but reliable enough to guarantee that it'll work even after several days, weeks, or months in orbit when he presses the button directly over the middle of the continental US at the right altitude and under the right conditions...

media.tumblr.com

I can only conclude they're working for someone with an interest in ABM systems, because they could have taken it further. If only they'd also gotten the account from some company specializing in detecting stuff on container ships, because then the EMP missile-of-doom would have been mounted in a hollow-roofed container so that it could be hauled by ship to within 1000 miles of the US coast in order to get it within range. In order to defeat the threat, in addition to an impervious ABM system, the article would have called for thousands of PT boats, each of which has a million-dollar detector array on it, all being cycled through a fleet of a dozen $1B PT-boat-carriers the size of city blocks...

No, wait, I've got another lobbyist on Line 4 here! He's got a $1M check to represent the interests of someone who wants to be prime contractor on a $10B ASW contract! You see, in order to avoid detection by surface assets, the container ship with the missile-in-the-container is actually based on the Japanese-designed I-400 submersible aircraft carrier! They're integrating the designs of the Russians, Chinese, and even those wily Japanese from WW2!

Kim Jong-Un wants nothing out of this saber-rattling beyond some food for his army, but there are still plenty of Americans who have much to gain by convincing their fellow Americans that he wants to go full Un.
 
2013-03-12 03:08:41 AM  

Mentat: dethmagnetic: Ok.

[cbrownley.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]

North Korea is a farking joke. They are to international security what the Jacksonville Jaguars are to the NFL, if the Jags were required to play without a quarterback and to have at least 8 long snappers on the field at all times. The greatest threat to their armed forces is farking  starvation, and that's while they're at  peace.

You go ahead and think that, but when the Red Dawn comes, don't expect me to break you out of the camp.


Your boss is going to need me.

cdn01.cdn.socialitelife.com
 
2013-03-12 03:53:20 AM  
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com

It's on Fox News. That is all.
 
2013-03-12 04:41:32 AM  

GAT_00: Absolute bullshiat.  They can't possibly have the miniaturization down to the point where they can fit a nuclear warhead in a missile.

Of course, saying they have "Electro-Magnetic Pulse warheads" to go with the nukes is proof they don't have the slightest clue what the fark they are talking about.

So of course Fox publishes it as news.


So concise.
 
2013-03-12 04:42:17 AM  
Even if they tried to launch, we are ready for it and a counterattack. I doubt north korea would withstand a full assault, especially if they started shiat with us.

i'm going to sleep tight knowing full well that even if they could get the payload into the rocket (unlikely) and even if they did decide to launch it (even less likely) that it would probably get shot down before it hit the ground.

I doubt the payload would make it through the ride.
 
2013-03-12 04:43:14 AM  
Once we get scared enough, we'll finally start talking to them. Then all the other less-developed countries of the world will go, "Hey look, all we have to do is get nuclear weapons and the United States will start talking us seriously. We should get on that!"
 
2013-03-12 04:43:19 AM  
Yawn. What is this, round 37 of "We're absorutery not kidding, sucka, shiat wirr happen, we tear up treaty, you go down, South Korea, you go down, USA, this time sure, no make bruff this time, sucka!!"
 
2013-03-12 04:44:47 AM  

Magorn: And my aunt may have balls and actually be my uncle but it's highly unlikely


Yeah I was going to go with 'Monkeys might just fly out of my ass but don't hold your breath' but instead Ill go with

This.
 
2013-03-12 04:45:58 AM  

L.D. Ablo: [thebusypost.files.wordpress.com image 500x393]


not often you see a far out space nuts reference.
 
2013-03-12 04:47:22 AM  

Weaver95: Further, Dr. Vincent Pry from the U.S. Nuclear Strategy Forum, has recently made a convincing case that North Korea possesses an Electromagnetic Pulse (EMP) nuclear warhead which would have the ability to take out a national power grid and destroy critical infrastructures throughout the U.S.

they might do better by zapping Japan during the height of daily trading.  one good pulse and a couple billion in stock transactions goes *poof*.  oh sure they'll eventually get the data back but by that point you've achieved your goal of world wide market instability.  follow that up with an EMP somewhere along the west coast of the US (washington state or a city in California, dealers choice) and everyone will go into a tailspin panic that will far outstrip the damage Nkorea would be able to achieve via military conquest.  chaos and panic, market instability, and everyone goes nuts.  bonus points for racking off some missiles towards Taiwan, just because hey - why not right?

Mind you, NKorea will promptly cease to exist as a country shortly afterwards...but if they really WANT to go all stabby they could do it.


They would really have to chant Stabby. Stabby. Stabby! Before i believe 'We are the World' is truly more than a dream sequence.
However, there are things we don't know. Things, we know we don't know. Things we don't know, that we don't know... so therefore, there's something we should oughtta know?

/Not making fun of you Weaver... just saying. It's Best Korea.
 
2013-03-12 04:47:30 AM  
catsonfilm.files.wordpress.com

Unleash the panthers!
 
2013-03-12 04:49:02 AM  

Mentat: dethmagnetic: Ok.

[cbrownley.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]

North Korea is a farking joke. They are to international security what the Jacksonville Jaguars are to the NFL, if the Jags were required to play without a quarterback and to have at least 8 long snappers on the field at all times. The greatest threat to their armed forces is farking  starvation, and that's while they're at  peace.

You go ahead and think that, but when the Red Dawn comes, don't expect me to break you out of the camp.


i2.fc-img.com 
Sees what you did there
 
2013-03-12 04:50:49 AM  

Weaver95: bonus points for racking off some missiles towards Taiwan, just because hey - why not right?


you were on target until this.  the PRC considers Taiwan theirs, and there is no way in hell the norks are going to attack the PRC.
 
2013-03-12 04:52:20 AM  
The turd that wrote that article is not from OSIS, in any way, shape or form.  I'm sure the Open Source Intelligence Service is working on tracking what NoKo is up to, but no one would try to rely on whatever they can glean.  NoKo doesn't exactly have a free press or open borders, so most of the intelligence that can be gathered on them has to come by SigInt and IMINT.
 
2013-03-12 04:52:33 AM  

Sid_6.7: DanZero: "Sleep Tight" or "It's getting dusty in here"

Which headline meme is more annoying lately

I'll be better able to tell you when the oil hits the anus.

/icy-hot stutaz 4eva!!!1
//old-skool Fark represent
///also, how's Henry Earl doing? I can't find a current update on the intertubes later than 2010.


/3horn
 
2013-03-12 04:53:19 AM  

HotWingAgenda: The turd that wrote that article is not from OSIS, in any way, shape or form.  I'm sure the Open Source Intelligence Service is working on tracking what NoKo is up to, but no one would try to rely on whatever they can glean.  NoKo doesn't exactly have a free press or open borders, so most of the intelligence that can be gathered on them has to come by SigInt and IMINT.


We need these people on the case.

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-03-12 04:54:20 AM  

MrBallou: That sounded convincing and quite alarming at first. Then I got to the paragraph that started with "President George W. Bush understood..." and realized WTF I was reading. The next paragraph started with "Unfortunately, President Obama..."

I have a pretty good idea what came after that.


When you want faux news, turn to Fox news.
 
2013-03-12 05:00:37 AM  
So to sum up article:

1)Random, unverifiable sources on the internet are really scared of North Korea for random, unverifiable reasons.
2)President GWB valiantly kept the yellow hoard at bay
3)Cowardly Obama is leaving us vulnurable to attack from North Korea and all of this is His Fault(tm).

Yeah Obama, how dare you, er, well, uhm, basically continue the same policies towards NK as every farking president ever.

I should have known it would be all hyperbole and blovating, but I'm interested in the Korea situation so thought there might(ha) be some new, legit info coming out... nope, just derpproganda.
 
2013-03-12 05:05:25 AM  

Bontesla: MrBallou: That sounded convincing and quite alarming at first. Then I got to the paragraph that started with "President George W. Bush understood..." and realized WTF I was reading. The next paragraph started with "Unfortunately, President Obama..."

I have a pretty good idea what came after that.

That's all the summary I need.
Thank you for saving me time.


Me too. I really believe that these new conservatives won't really be happy until we're at war with every "bad guy" on the planet simultaneously, with most people of the middle and lower class either fighting it out in the mud "over there, so we won't have to fight them over here" or in a low income job in a munitions factory building weapons for the war effort, while the upper class get to bask happily in their lavish splendor! (no taxes on their income or their company's, because every cent has to be used to win "The War", and most of the taxes to fight it comes out of sales taxes) Anyone who fights against this gets called a traitor and sent to the nearest Jesus Camp to be brainwashed into thinking that it's "G-d's will" to fight against every "evildoer" out there (Atheist North Koreans worshiping the cult of personality Kim Jong family, Muslims in every country except Turkey (though eventually Turkey), and Russia, why? Because they killed Apollo Creed!), because that would be what Jesus would do, but it won't get you executed this time, just sent out on the front lines like a good lil Christian would! Just make sure to thank a rich person first that you're even alive, because he's a "job creator" and you wouldn't be going into the army if it wasn't for this person creating a job for you to fulfill by fighting and killing our new enemies of this week.
 
2013-03-12 05:05:51 AM  

HotWingAgenda: The turd that wrote that article is not from OSIS, in any way, shape or form.  I'm sure the Open Source Intelligence Service is working on tracking what NoKo is up to, but no one would try to rely on whatever they can glean.  NoKo doesn't exactly have a free press or open borders, so most of the intelligence that can be gathered on them has to come by SigInt and IMINT.


QED.
 
2013-03-12 05:05:57 AM  
So Fox has stock in the military contractor that's s'posed to work in AK?
 
2013-03-12 05:08:10 AM  
  4.bp.blogspot.com

What would happen... if North Korea accidentally Nuked itself?

/Seriously.
 
2013-03-12 05:08:56 AM  
FTFA:

Several years ago, U.S. based Farsi speaking satellite TV stations, with a pro-western values message, had such an impact that Iran was forced to send out police units to take satellite dishes down from people's homes. Just as we did during the Cold War, let's do an intensive "Radio Marti-Radio Free Europe" broadcast operation, consisting of TV, SatTV and radio, against North Korea broadcast from locations in South Korea and Japan.

Satellite TV is definitely the way to reach the huddling masses of North Korea. Why hasn't this been attempted, Obama!?
 
2013-03-12 05:08:57 AM  
В "Правде" нет известий, в "Известиях" нет правды.  And none of either on Fox.
 
2013-03-12 05:14:05 AM  

Virtuoso80: Once we get scared enough, we'll finally start talking to them. Then all the other less-developed countries of the world will go, "Hey look, all we have to do is get nuclear weapons and the United States will start talking us seriously. We should get on that!"


It could work the other way too: "let's shelve our nuclear programmes to avoid having to deal with America".

DarkSoulNoHope: and Russia, why? Because they killed Apollo Creed!


This bit got a laugh out of me.
 
2013-03-12 05:24:06 AM  
i stopped reading that article when it said Fox News.
 
2013-03-12 05:24:26 AM  
Haven't we spent several trillion dollars on missile defense shields, I'll sleep well
 
2013-03-12 05:28:39 AM  

nero_design:   

What would happen... if North Korea accidentally Nuked itself?

/Seriously.


If Waikiki got nuked, Oahu would be a better place.

DO IT.
 
2013-03-12 05:29:12 AM  
The recent power struggle in China is also spilling over into the North Korean situation

The what now?
 
2013-03-12 05:31:28 AM  
WTF was I reading? Was that some think tank terror porn fan fiction?
 
2013-03-12 05:34:28 AM  
Twilight Farkle:Much like earnings reports, where all the useful information is tucked away in the Notes to the Consolidated Financial Statements, the best way to read any "call to arms" is by first scrolling to the end of the document, and then slowly working your way back up.

"The most important part of any message is the name of the messenger."
- J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
Three-Fisted Tales of "Bob"
 
2013-03-12 05:39:17 AM  

nero_design: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x321]

What would happen... if North Korea accidentally Nuked itself?

/Seriously.


They better not make me spill my coffee doing it.
 
2013-03-12 05:42:55 AM  
Yeah, sorry.  I grew up during actual nuclear threats.  Civilization-ending threats.   It's time to update your bogeymen.
 
2013-03-12 05:44:02 AM  
This sounds like someone stumbled across a Michael Crichton or Tom Clancy rough draft and just ran with it.
 
2013-03-12 05:44:33 AM  
Darth_Lukecash:


What the hell do they have to trade to get that tech?  I highly doubt they have it.  It's a bluff.

And even so, we NEVER could have done squat about it. Last time we tried, we damn near started WWIII

They are on a border with China., who will absolutely not let us do anything  to them

They've got a bomb. We know that much.

We can't invade , we can't take a strike at them or South Korea will pay the price.

Hell, all they have to do is drive it up to the DMZ and vaporize it and they will hurt the U.S.  and South Korea.


OMG, I'm convinced. We have to surrender before its too late!
 
2013-03-12 05:45:48 AM  

namatad: does north korea have planes that can fly that far?? LOL


Can Best Korea find a crew they trust not to defect.
 
2013-03-12 05:45:51 AM  

DanZero: "Sleep Tight" or "It's getting dusty in here"

Which headline meme is more annoying lately


Your dog wants c) Drew steak. Did I say steaK?  I meant cancer. Wait, what?
 
2013-03-12 05:47:37 AM  

Sid_6.7: DanZero: "Sleep Tight" or "It's getting dusty in here"

Which headline meme is more annoying lately

I'll be better able to tell you when the oil hits the anus.

/icy-hot stutaz 4eva!!!1
//old-skool Fark represent
///also, how's Henry Earl doing? I can't find a current update on the intertubes later than 2010.


I heard he got a hot cocoa sampler box as a present.
 
2013-03-12 06:02:37 AM  
They just want attention because they're so ronery.
 
2013-03-12 06:24:18 AM  

Harry_Seldon: WTF was I reading? Was that some think tank terror porn fan fiction?


Throw the phrase "Anti-Obama" in there somewhere and that's a bingo.
 
2013-03-12 06:27:33 AM  
EMP? Pacific Ocean?

upload.wikimedia.org

/image hot like..
 
2013-03-12 06:37:20 AM  
Fox News? Looks like they're firing up the ol' fear machine again.
 
2013-03-12 06:50:15 AM  
Well one could say it was Bush that started this whole mess with his axis of evil speech. No one gave 2 craps about North Korea till then really

Oh by the by did you know that Fox News parent company did business with North Korea?  http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2010-09-06/kim-jong-il-bowls-for-murdoc h -dollars-with-video-games-made-in-north-korea.html

Very interesting tidbit from that article was a Big Lebowski game they were developing over there
 
2013-03-12 06:51:17 AM  

DanZero: "Sleep Tight" or "It's getting dusty in here"

Which headline meme is more annoying lately


Since North Korea isn't really worth talking about, I'll just agree with this. Especially when the headline is something like "Ex-[insert armed forces designation] faces [insert tragedy that happens to thousands of people every day].
 
2013-03-12 06:51:56 AM  
Time to take out the stop light of doom.
 
2013-03-12 06:57:54 AM  
While OSINT is a very valid intelligence discipline, you have to be able to discriminate valid information against propaganda.  Signal to noise.

If it's on FOX News, it's noise.  They've spent the last 12 years, most of their life as a "news" channel, in wartime-mode, telling Real Americans to be afraid.  An outbreak of peace is the last thing they want, of course they want to stir the pot, keep people afraid (this time of NK since we won Iraq and Afghanistan is heading into the final round).

Anyway, if NK did conduct an EMP airburst over the pacific, yeah, Hawaii would be hosed. . .but then NK as a regime would have on the scale of hours to days left.  They have no ability to last in a shooting war past the first day.  They have no food, minimal fuel, minimal spare parts, obsolete hardware.  The most they can do is a devastating initial artillery barrage directed at Seoul. . .and then they go down hard.

Darth_Lukecash: They are on a border with China., who will absolutely not let us do anything to them


You really think that?  It's not 1953 anymore, and China needs us and our money more than it needs NK and their embarrassing parasitism.

China just wants NK to sit down, shut up and be nice, and not screw things up.  The Kim Dynasty can't even do that.  Did you catch the part where senior Communist Party of China officials were saying in public last week that the PRC should re-evaluate whether it even supports NK at all?  In a nation with public media as tightly controlled as China, that was no accident.
 
2013-03-12 06:58:26 AM  
"Open-source intelligence (OSINT) is intelligence collected from publicly available sources. In the intelligence community (IC), the term "open" refers to overt, publicly available sources (as opposed to covert or clandestine sources); it is not related to open-source software or public intelligence. "

I like how the "article" tried to make it sound like this was a real agency or something.
 
2013-03-12 06:58:29 AM  
/war porn thread
 
2013-03-12 07:00:25 AM  
so... the reason obama's soft on n. korea is because he's not broadcasting propaganda from s. korea, and because he... closed a base in the western us.

some good defense analysis, lou.

sigh... do people actually read these types Fox op ed pieces and take anything in them seriously? ever?
 
2013-03-12 07:03:22 AM  
But but but the source is Fox News. So it's a lie. Right?
 
2013-03-12 07:03:48 AM  

Weaver95: GAT_00: Absolute bullshiat.  They can't possibly have the miniaturization down to the point where they can fit a nuclear warhead in a missile.

I think its possible.  unlikely but very possible.  the technology we're talking about is old, stable and well known.  we've done well to keep the details secret on nuclear weapons but lets be honest - 70 years is a long time to keep something like that under a rock.  granted, the tech is expensive and demanding but...not all that difficult to acquire.  with all our attention focused on Iran, the norks could have done it.  well, more likely flat out bought it but still.


Nuclear weapons are not easy. Miniaturization is actually rather difficult to achieve. To give you an idea of how hard nukes are, the Germans in WWII didn't get one largely because they couldn't figure out the electronics. The Germans. Electronics. Not the nuke part, but the electronics to create the symmetrical explosion for the trigger. That's not because the nuke part is easy. It's because the whole thing is hard.
 
2013-03-12 07:04:50 AM  

TerminalEchoes: But but but the source is Fox News. So it's a lie. Right?


Well, someday Fox might actually report a fact, so there is that. Till then, yep.
 
2013-03-12 07:07:32 AM  

Silverstaff: You really think that? It's not 1953 anymore, and China needs us and our money more than it needs NK and their embarrassing parasitism.

China just wants NK to sit down, shut up and be nice, and not screw things up. The Kim Dynasty can't even do that. Did you catch the part where senior Communist Party of China officials were saying in public last week that the PRC should re-evaluate whether it even supports NK at all? In a nation with public media as tightly controlled as China, that was no accident.


I've been wondering for a while when China is going to view NK as more of a liability then an asset.  Maybe the US should just propose to them directly;
"Look, these guys are a drain on your economy and a drag on your diplomatic credibility.  What will it take for you guys to work with us to get them get permanently step in line and start to fix their shiat?   How about a permanent reduction of US troops in the Korean peninsula?"
 
2013-03-12 07:09:29 AM  

TerminalEchoes: But but but the source is Fox News. So it's a lie. Right?


The article was completely debunked in the fifth post. So... In this case, yes.
 
2013-03-12 07:09:38 AM  
Best way to attack North Korea, is flood the country with McDonald's and Burger King. Attack them from the inside out. Ban all importation of high blood pressure and cholesterol lowering medications.
 
2013-03-12 07:10:02 AM  

Lee Jackson Beauregard: В "Правде" нет известий, в "Известиях" нет правды.  And none of either on Fox.


I haven't heard that since the old "Soviet Studies" days. Now THAT was an enemy we could all buy into.
 
2013-03-12 07:10:11 AM  
Great, now what's the North Korean countermeasure for the SLBM decapitation strike invited by them trying to fuel a missile with a warhead on it?
 
2013-03-12 07:15:40 AM  

NewportBarGuy: Yet they don't have food for their people nor do they have enough fuel to mobilize their army.

I'll sleep safe and sound, thanks.


Perhaps dropping a pizza bomb on the population would do the most damage to the government.
 
2013-03-12 07:17:50 AM  
You know, I've got enough real shiat to worry about and keep me from sleeping... Namely, making enough money every week to pay the mortgage, keep the heat and lights on, have food to eat, and fill needed prescriptions.

I'd really like to care about some tin pot dictator in Asia, who may or may not have the ability to launch a nuclear missile and hit anything other than the Pacific Ocean, but my plate is full right now.
 
2013-03-12 07:19:08 AM  

vygramul: Nuclear weapons are not easy. Miniaturization is actually rather difficult to achieve. To give you an idea of how hard nukes are, the Germans in WWII didn't get one largely because they couldn't figure out the electronics. The Germans. Electronics. Not the nuke part, but the electronics to create the symmetrical explosion for the trigger. That's not because the nuke part is easy. It's because the whole thing is hard.


You can build a simple gun-type fission device real easy, and no fancy electronics needed.  Could do it with 1800's technology if you had the refined uranium.  Also, can't really be upgraded to to a fusion weapon, certainly not with the Teller-Ulam design.

Problem is, can't miniaturize those devices, way too many basic physics problems (why that technology was pretty much abandoned), they are going to be too big for ICBMs, you'll have to drop it by bomber, and the NK Air Force is NOT the best in the world.

However, you CAN build a nuclear bomb without the electronics, but you need the electronics to take it beyond Trinity/Hiroshima level technology. . .but that's all you need to get the world's attention.
 
2013-03-12 07:21:09 AM  
We do not have a missile shield.

It's harder to make a small huke than a big one.

While the physical difficulties in smuggling a nuke across our border in a bale of marijuana seem trivial, tyrants are not usually willing to hand regime-ending capability to a subordinate and then trust that they won't spend the next couple of weeks wondering if it might be both easier and safer to be the next leader of North Korea.
 
2013-03-12 07:24:00 AM  
 
2013-03-12 07:26:13 AM  
So, basically:

Yawn.
 
2013-03-12 07:26:31 AM  
Unfortunately, President Obama has severely cut missile defense and last year announced plans to decommission Missile Field 1 at Fort Greely. Originally, there were to be three silo fields housing interceptors. Today, Fort Greely is down to one


I know "faux news" and all that, but this part is true
 
2013-03-12 07:27:24 AM  

vygramul: Weaver95: GAT_00: Absolute bullshiat.  They can't possibly have the miniaturization down to the point where they can fit a nuclear warhead in a missile.

I think its possible.  unlikely but very possible.  the technology we're talking about is old, stable and well known.  we've done well to keep the details secret on nuclear weapons but lets be honest - 70 years is a long time to keep something like that under a rock.  granted, the tech is expensive and demanding but...not all that difficult to acquire.  with all our attention focused on Iran, the norks could have done it.  well, more likely flat out bought it but still.

Nuclear weapons are not easy. Miniaturization is actually rather difficult to achieve. To give you an idea of how hard nukes are, the Germans in WWII didn't get one largely because they couldn't figure out the electronics. The Germans. Electronics. Not the nuke part, but the electronics to create the symmetrical explosion for the trigger. That's not because the nuke part is easy. It's because the whole thing is hard.


Ummmmmmm. That was the 1940's. Electronics have come a ways since then. Sure NORK may not have, but the technology is everywhere.

If the we and the Soviets figured it out 50+ years ago, how hard could it be with today's technology? Sorry, the nuke genie is out of the bottle. It's not about stopping proliferation, it's now about dealing with the ever increasing number of nations with the technology.
 
2013-03-12 07:30:55 AM  
I say bring it the fark on.
/china would step in of things got out of hand
//and by step in I mean invade
/// the us and South Korea would sit back and laugh
 
2013-03-12 07:33:12 AM  

Bonzo_1116: nero_design:   

What would happen... if North Korea accidentally Nuked itself?

/Seriously.

If Waikiki got nuked, Oahu would be a better place.

DO IT.


Pretty much all you would be left with is Waianae.

I don't think you thought your cunning plan through.
 
2013-03-12 07:36:20 AM  

NewportBarGuy: Somacandra: The first job of such governments is neither to feed their people nor fuel their army. It is to stay in power against real or perceived enemies. The U.S. and Soviets both had plenty of hungry and homeless people during the Cold War but chose instead to build enough nukes to destroy each other many times over.

Neither country was ever in the dire straits North Korea is in. The only thing that changed is that they got a new leader who needs to appear tough or he's going to get whacked.

The first job of such countries is self preservation and maintaining their power structure. China is ready to smack the sh*t out of them even with the refugee problem they fear. They're bad for business. Fat Kid is f*cking up, big time.

Also, since when are we comparing North Korea with the Soviet Union and the United States?


Well, we're talking about Somacandra.
 
2013-03-12 07:39:14 AM  
 
2013-03-12 07:39:20 AM  
What would be hilarious is if the high altitude test went wrong and they EMP'd the shiat out of Pyongyang.
 
2013-03-12 07:45:02 AM  

BigBooper: vygramul: Weaver95: GAT_00: Absolute bullshiat.  They can't possibly have the miniaturization down to the point where they can fit a nuclear warhead in a missile.

I think its possible.  unlikely but very possible.  the technology we're talking about is old, stable and well known.  we've done well to keep the details secret on nuclear weapons but lets be honest - 70 years is a long time to keep something like that under a rock.  granted, the tech is expensive and demanding but...not all that difficult to acquire.  with all our attention focused on Iran, the norks could have done it.  well, more likely flat out bought it but still.

Nuclear weapons are not easy. Miniaturization is actually rather difficult to achieve. To give you an idea of how hard nukes are, the Germans in WWII didn't get one largely because they couldn't figure out the electronics. The Germans. Electronics. Not the nuke part, but the electronics to create the symmetrical explosion for the trigger. That's not because the nuke part is easy. It's because the whole thing is hard.

Ummmmmmm. That was the 1940's. Electronics have come a ways since then. Sure NORK may not have, but the technology is everywhere.

If the we and the Soviets figured it out 50+ years ago, how hard could it be with today's technology? Sorry, the nuke genie is out of the bottle. It's not about stopping proliferation, it's now about dealing with the ever increasing number of nations with the technology.


We and the Soviets figured out a lot of things 50+ years ago that most countries can't handle. We landed on the moon more than 40 years ago. China only got a man into space recently. Making a nuke isn't easy. Even with today's technology. Sure, Japan and Germany could probably make a nuke in about six months. But not many other countries could.

/Japan tried making their own combat aircraft. It didn't turn out well. Integration is HARD and only a handful of countries can do it fairly well.
 
2013-03-12 07:46:01 AM  

abhorrent1: What would be hilarious is if the high altitude test went wrong and they EMP'd the shiat out of Pyongyang.


Would anyone notice?
 
2013-03-12 07:46:36 AM  
I'm pretty sure some retired O-5 civilian over at Stratcom read this and thought, "See, guys! We still matter!"
 
2013-03-12 07:47:01 AM  

hardinparamedic: HotWingAgenda: The turd that wrote that article is not from OSIS, in any way, shape or form.  I'm sure the Open Source Intelligence Service is working on tracking what NoKo is up to, but no one would try to rely on whatever they can glean.  NoKo doesn't exactly have a free press or open borders, so most of the intelligence that can be gathered on them has to come by SigInt and IMINT.

We need these people on the case.

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 500x500]


mightyisis.com
 
2013-03-12 07:48:02 AM  
Also let's get a non-Fox source. Fox could say it's raining and I'd more likely to believe the weather forecast from Westeros.
 
2013-03-12 07:48:04 AM  

thamike: Yeah, sorry.  I grew up during actual nuclear threats.  Civilization-ending threats.   It's time to update your bogeymen.


Yep. Every city I've ever lived in had at least one Soviet missile pointed at it. If it wasn't a state capital it was next to a military base ot two, or it was an important shipping port.  I  grew up diving under my desk once a month to make sure I knew how to avoid being blown to bits. These modern pants-shiatting cowards make me sick. North Korea is a farking joke.
 
2013-03-12 07:52:08 AM  
This article is by Van Hipp. Want to know what else Van Hipp wrote for Fox?

1980 All Over Again? Romney Channels Reagan as Election Day Looms
 
2013-03-12 07:52:17 AM  

vygramul: Nuclear weapons are not easy. Miniaturization is actually rather difficult to achieve. To give you an idea of how hard nukes are, the Germans in WWII didn't get one largely because they couldn't figure out the electronics. The Germans. Electronics. Not the nuke part, but the electronics to create the symmetrical explosion for the trigger. That's not because the nuke part is easy. It's because the whole thing is hard.


Well, there was the brain-drain thing when they chased out most of the best scientific minds of generation because of the religion they were born into.
 
2013-03-12 07:53:07 AM  
 
2013-03-12 07:55:03 AM  
So this article is trying to make me afraid of "spending my nights in darkness" Korea so they can lament the recent military spending cuts, which still far surpasses any other nation's many times over?

I'll be scared when N. Korea is flying their fancy space plane over the easy coast dropping nukes like that video they released.
 
2013-03-12 08:00:59 AM  

abhorrent1: What would be hilarious is if the high altitude test went wrong and they EMP'd the shiat out of Pyongyang.


I suppose it would be hilarious, but the ww1 era tech they live with isn't that susceptible to EMP attack. It would be like EMPing the Amish.
 
2013-03-12 08:04:18 AM  
It would be a shame if BK launched one and it landed in China or Russia.
 
2013-03-12 08:13:19 AM  

Twilight Farkle: FTFA (emphasis added):

"Van D. Hipp, Jr. is Chairman of American Defense International, Inc., a Washington, D.C.-based consulting firm specializing in government affairs, business development and public relations. He is the former Deputy Assistant Secretary of the U.S. Army and currently serves on Board of Directors of the American Conservative Union and The National Capitol Board of The Salvation Army."

[i.imgur.com image 250x285]

Much like earnings reports, where all the useful information is tucked away in the Notes to the Consolidated Financial Statements, the best way to read any "call to arms" is by first scrolling to the end of the document, and then slowly working your way back up.


THIS.

This is the entire point of this drivel (FTFA):

"Unfortunately, President Obama has severely cut missile defense and last year announced plans to decommission Missile Field 1 at Fort Greely. Originally, there were to be three silo fields housing interceptors. Today, Fort Greely is down to one. The time is now for the administration to reverse its decision. "
 
2013-03-12 08:16:58 AM  
Whenever I see the scary tag next to the Fox logo I know, even without checking, that it's another day that ends in Y.
 
2013-03-12 08:17:25 AM  

Bontesla: MrBallou: That sounded convincing and quite alarming at first. Then I got to the paragraph that started with "President George W. Bush understood..." and realized WTF I was reading. The next paragraph started with "Unfortunately, President Obama..."

I have a pretty good idea what came after that.

That's all the summary I need.
Thank you for saving me time.


Well, it is Faux News...
 
2013-03-12 08:18:22 AM  
I'm in the "NK can't shrink their nukes yet to put on an ICBM" crowd. That takes a lot of engineering and specialized work, not to mention testing, before you are confident of success.

I kind of doubt NK would say "ok we've had it, missiles are headed your way now!", launch a handful of ICBM's, and find out that uhhh, maybe they should have tested them a bit more and nothing happens. No, what's a far more likely scenario is they have one or more of those things sitting in an underground tunnel beneath the DMZ, and intend to either set them off to blast open the defenses or use them as collateral when the fighting turns against them.

"Cease fire or we blow up what's left of Seoul!"

/carrying them on a plane is possible but unlikely
 
2013-03-12 08:24:58 AM  
Find out where little man is at, then pound him with MOABs every minute for several hrs. Hit their nuclear facilities with bunker busters in between MOABs. Drop food, supplies, and information packets to the people while hitting the military compounds and airstrips. Jam all communications out of the country and keep a close watch on Iran those tards mite try and use this to start some shiat with Israel.
 
2013-03-12 08:35:20 AM  
Idiots..  It's Erectro Magnetic Purse...purdse..pardse...Oh DAMMIT Why can't everyone be smardt rike me?
 
2013-03-12 08:43:21 AM  

Ed Grubermann: vygramul: Nuclear weapons are not easy. Miniaturization is actually rather difficult to achieve. To give you an idea of how hard nukes are, the Germans in WWII didn't get one largely because they couldn't figure out the electronics. The Germans. Electronics. Not the nuke part, but the electronics to create the symmetrical explosion for the trigger. That's not because the nuke part is easy. It's because the whole thing is hard.

Well, there was the brain-drain thing when they chased out most of the best scientific minds of generation because of the religion they were born into.


True. I take great delight that General Heydrich, Eichmann's boss, died of gangrene, refusing to take sulfa drugs because they were a "Jewish invention."
 
2013-03-12 09:03:02 AM  
North Korea is a threat to the USA the same way a pimple is a threat to an elephant's ass.
 
2013-03-12 09:03:49 AM  
You guys really should stop buying into our own propaganda.

I'm not saying they're a modern, disciplined and funded military threat... but they're still an army, an army with the means to do some damage.

Grow up and stop thinking that a conflict with them could be won by a paintballing team.
 
2013-03-12 09:04:24 AM  

NewportBarGuy: Somacandra: The first job of such governments is neither to feed their people nor fuel their army. It is to stay in power against real or perceived enemies. The U.S. and Soviets both had plenty of hungry and homeless people during the Cold War but chose instead to build enough nukes to destroy each other many times over.

Neither country was ever in the dire straits North Korea is in. The only thing that changed is that they got a new leader who needs to appear tough or he's going to get whacked.

The first job of such countries is self preservation and maintaining their power structure. China is ready to smack the sh*t out of them even with the refugee problem they fear. They're bad for business. Fat Kid is f*cking up, big time.

Also, since when are we comparing North Korea with the Soviet Union and the United States?


Amen. Thread over
 
2013-03-12 09:07:27 AM  
Persuasive article != news
 
2013-03-12 09:29:41 AM  
Well we all know that Bible thumping Right Wing zealots love war. They love war because it has guns and army guys doing army stuff to brown, black, and/or yellow godless heathens. (Back me up on this, clane... you seem to be an expert from that school of thoughtlessness)

FoxNews is the mouth piece for them so it would make sense that they would drum up the idea of a war with North Korea. Or a war in general... because wars have guns. They drum it up to make their fundamentalist followers salivate at the thought of non-white peoples in distant lands being bayoneted and bombed.

Also, some of the claims sound dubious at best, regardless of the author's background as the Deputy Assistant Secretary of Army Guys with Guns Killing Brown People.
 
2013-03-12 09:41:56 AM  

Xyphoid: You guys really should stop buying into our own propaganda.

I'm not saying they're a modern, disciplined and funded military threat... but they're still an army, an army with the means to do some damage.

Grow up and stop thinking that a conflict with them could be won by a paintballing team.


This ain't your father's NK army. Their readiness has been falling rapidly since the fall of the Soviet Union and its constant flow of supplies. They simply haven't had the money to pay for training or the expending of ammunition for practice like they were able to before the '90s.
 
2013-03-12 09:55:40 AM  

Ed Grubermann: thamike: Yeah, sorry.  I grew up during actual nuclear threats.  Civilization-ending threats.   It's time to update your bogeymen.

Yep. Every city I've ever lived in had at least one Soviet missile pointed at it. If it wasn't a state capital it was next to a military base ot two, or it was an important shipping port.  I  grew up diving under my desk once a month to make sure I knew how to avoid being blown to bits. These modern pants-shiatting cowards make me sick. North Korea is a farking joke.


When our schools bust Burt the Turtle out of retirement and the emergency alert signal makes the top 40 countdown again I will worry.  Until then I will continue to enjoy watching the modern pants-shiatting cowards as they scurry around muttering about the end of the world.
 
2013-03-12 09:55:46 AM  
Fox News
Fox News
Faux News
Bleargh
 
2013-03-12 09:58:33 AM  
cdn.theatlanticwire.com

Bullshiat. The best he can manage is a an "el kabong" style sneak attack.
 
2013-03-12 10:09:24 AM  

publikenemy: Unfortunately, President Obama has severely cut missile defense and last year announced plans to decommission Missile Field 1 at Fort Greely. Originally, there were to be three silo fields housing interceptors. Today, Fort Greely is down to one


I know "faux news" and all that, but this part is true


Yeah, but what about the Soviet, Russian, Chinese, Iraqi, Somalian, Afghani, North Korean threat to the real patriots of the Tea Party?! When the Norks invade, the Real Patriotstm will be able to hold off the commie hoards all by themselves with their hoarded AR Lowers and .223 stock piles. Hopefully their mobility scooters are stored in hardened hangers.
 
2013-03-12 10:10:17 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: Snarfangel: Luckily for us, our ICBMs will still work as designed.

what's that, like an IBM?  or a Packard Bell?


I used to have a sweet 66MHz 486DX2 PB1666CD with 4MB RAM and a 420MB hard drive. I played Duke Nukem 3D from a Zip disk.
 
2013-03-12 10:56:41 AM  

DanZero: "Sleep Tight" or "It's getting dusty in here"

Which headline meme is more annoying lately


(featured partner)

that one
that one is the most annoying of all
 
2013-03-12 10:56:43 AM  

Bontesla: MrBallou: That sounded convincing and quite alarming at first. Then I got to the paragraph that started with "President George W. Bush understood..." and realized WTF I was reading. The next paragraph started with "Unfortunately, President Obama..."

I have a pretty good idea what came after that.

That's all the summary I need.
Thank you for saving me time.


Yeah! Why read when you can just assume? Congrats on perpetuating the image of the low information Obama supporter.
 
2013-03-12 10:58:37 AM  

Deep Contact: It would be a shame if BK launched one and it landed in China or Russia.


Burger King has nukes??? Look out McDonalds!!
 
2013-03-12 11:00:59 AM  

Oysterman: Mentat: dethmagnetic: Ok.

[cbrownley.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]

North Korea is a farking joke. They are to international security what the Jacksonville Jaguars are to the NFL, if the Jags were required to play without a quarterback and to have at least 8 long snappers on the field at all times. The greatest threat to their armed forces is farking  starvation, and that's while they're at  peace.

You go ahead and think that, but when the Red Dawn comes, don't expect me to break you out of the camp.

[i2.fc-img.com image 640x320]
Sees what you did there


that movie was not nearly as terrible as i thought it would be

still bad

but had potential to be just so much worse
 
2013-03-12 11:13:25 AM  
Actual open source intelligence on Best Korea (KMZ file for google earf):

http://www.nkeconwatch.com/north-korea-uncovered-google-earth/

"This Google Earth project offers an extensive mapping of North Korea's economic, cultural, political, and military infrastructures.  Through the topic menu, users of this program have easy access to geographical information on North Korea's agriculture projects, aviation facilities, communications, hospitals, hotels, energy infrastructure, financial services, leisure destinations, manufacturing facilities, markets, mines, religious locations, restaurants, schools, and transportation infrastructure.  In addition to locations of economic interest, this map also displays anti-aircraft locations, the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) and Northern Line Limit Line (NLL), incarceration facilities, political monuments, political residencies, military bases, and nuclear facilities. "
 
2013-03-12 11:52:20 AM  

RobertBruce: If they wanted to cripple us with just the EMP they'd use a small nuke in a plane.


Just convince Samuel L. Jackson that they're snakes.  Problem solved.
 
2013-03-12 12:38:20 PM  

Twilight Farkle: FTFA (emphasis added):

"Van D. Hipp, Jr. is Chairman of American Defense International, Inc., a Washington, D.C.-based consulting firm specializing in government affairs, business development and public relations. He is the former Deputy Assistant Secretary of the U.S. Army and currently serves on Board of Directors of the American Conservative Union and The National Capitol Board of The Salvation Army."

[i.imgur.com image 250x285]

Much like earnings reports, where all the useful information is tucked away in the Notes to the Consolidated Financial Statements, the best way to read any "call to arms" is by first scrolling to the end of the document, and then slowly working your way back up.


So you stopped reading after the article? I'm just giving you a hard time.

I got to the "Bush is great.." and skipped to that part. Then looked up and saw I was on Fox News' opinion tab.
 
2013-03-12 12:44:40 PM  
Armageddon for Hawaii?!
 
2013-03-12 01:24:23 PM  

MrBallou: That sounded convincing and quite alarming at first. Then I got to the paragraph that started with "President George W. Bush understood..." and realized WTF I was reading. The next paragraph started with "Unfortunately, President Obama..."

I have a pretty good idea what came after that.


It's insightful analysis from the author of:
* 1980 all over again? Romney channels Reagan as Election Day looms
* Romney's international trip could be a defining moment
* Newt Gingrich wins South Carolina Primary by uniting Reagan Republicans
* Understanding the Gingrich Phenomenon
* Will Obama Now Admit That George Bush's Tough Stance In the War on Terror Was Right?
* Rep. Peter King Is Doing His Job By Holding Congressional Hearings On Muslim Radicalization
* Kasich Victory In Ohio Offers Blueprint for Beating Obama In 2012
 
2013-03-12 01:29:00 PM  
It may be sensationalist and jingoistic, but it did prompt me to buy a few cases of drinking water and canned food.
peteeyre.com
 
2013-03-12 02:36:28 PM  

GAT_00: Absolute bullshiat.  They can't possibly have the miniaturization down to the point where they can fit a nuclear warhead in a missile.

Why not? It's really not that difficult. And they have help from Iran (and have had that help for the last 15+ years).

Of course, saying they have "Electro-Magnetic Pulse warheads" to go with the nukes is proof they don't have the slightest clue what the fark they are talking about.
Those so-called "Electromagnetic pulse warheads" are technically any nuclear warhead in the 25 kiloton range, small enough to be a "Tactical" nuke but still able to generate a sizable pulse. From the sounds of it, you are the one who doesn't know what you are talking about.

So of course Fox publishes it as news.
What this boils down to is your rather blind hatred for a specific news outlet. Just because some desk jockey at Fox found this out and and turned it into a story doesn't mean that it's not newsworthy.
 
2013-03-12 02:59:21 PM  
 I think I've seen that movie.

Hypnozombie
/WOLVERINES!!!
 
2013-03-12 03:03:39 PM  

cherryl taggart: This sounds like someone stumbled across a Michael Crichton or Tom Clancy rough draft and just ran with it.


Not quite.

Crazy part is, the writers consulted with several pentagon analysts to come up with the prologue.
 
2013-03-12 03:05:57 PM  

caddisfly: It may be sensationalist and jingoistic, but it did prompt me to buy a few cases of drinking water and canned food.
[peteeyre.com image 329x500]


Now that is a shiat book, written by a child for children.
 
2013-03-12 03:47:31 PM  

KinetiKiteniK: caddisfly: It may be sensationalist and jingoistic, but it did prompt me to buy a few cases of drinking water and canned food.
[peteeyre.com image 329x500]

Now that is a shiat book, written by a child for children.


C'mon, tell how you really feel.
 
2013-03-12 04:09:11 PM  
I know we all like to joke about their military but think about it. These are some hard ass bastards. Their normal state of operations is starvation. You can't starve them out when they are used to it. They are used to working their bodies hard with nothing to recover properly. They have adapted to a hard life that many of our armed service men and women will never understand. SERE training only lasts so long, Ranger training only lasts so long with a chance to recover.

Their only weakness... a stiff breeze can pick them up and deposit them miles away.
 
2013-03-12 04:29:07 PM  

Mentat: dethmagnetic: Ok.

[cbrownley.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]

North Korea is a farking joke. They are to international security what the Jacksonville Jaguars are to the NFL, if the Jags were required to play without a quarterback and to have at least 8 long snappers on the field at all times. The greatest threat to their armed forces is farking  starvation, and that's while they're at  peace.

You go ahead and think that, but when the Red Dawn comes, don't expect me to break you out of the camp.


OK, but you should still "AVENGE MEEEEE!"
 
2013-03-12 04:38:46 PM  

enik: Bontesla: MrBallou: That sounded convincing and quite alarming at first. Then I got to the paragraph that started with "President George W. Bush understood..." and realized WTF I was reading. The next paragraph started with "Unfortunately, President Obama..."

I have a pretty good idea what came after that.

That's all the summary I need.
Thank you for saving me time.

Yeah! Why read when you can just assume? Congrats on perpetuating the image of the low information Obama supporter.


That's funny. It's like saying not eating poison mushrooms means you're anorexic.
 
2013-03-12 05:29:51 PM  

Ed Grubermann: thamike: Yeah, sorry.  I grew up during actual nuclear threats.  Civilization-ending threats.   It's time to update your bogeymen.

Yep. Every city I've ever lived in had at least one Soviet missile pointed at it. If it wasn't a state capital it was next to a military base ot two, or it was an important shipping port.  I  grew up diving under my desk once a month to make sure I knew how to avoid being blown to bits. These modern pants-shiatting cowards make me sick. North Korea is a farking joke


Duck and cover drills!I used to get in trouble in elementary school for questioning the blast wave deterrence capabilities of my math textbook.  "If I use two textbooks and keep my eyes closed, how many megatons are we talking here, realistically speaking?"

/I still haven't see the Red Dawn remake.  The first one was preposterous, but at least it was escapist fun.  I heard the new one is awful.
 
2013-03-12 05:41:08 PM  
fark you for even posting this Fox news bullshiat.
 
2013-03-12 06:03:47 PM  

ransack.: I used to have a sweet 66MHz 486DX2 PB1666CD with 4MB RAM and a 420MB hard drive.


My first computer!
 
2013-03-12 07:29:39 PM  

ransack.: Jon iz teh kewl: Snarfangel: Luckily for us, our ICBMs will still work as designed.

what's that, like an IBM?  or a Packard Bell?

I used to have a sweet 66MHz 486DX2 PB1666CD with 4MB RAM and a 420MB hard drive. I played Duke Nukem 3D from a Zip disk.


i bought a Zip drive for the purpose of playing games like that, but it never really worked out, cause it was too slow.

had to delete a few programs such as Commo.  but i freed up the room ;)
 
2013-03-12 08:01:10 PM  

Xyphoid: You guys really should stop buying into our own propaganda.

I'm not saying they're a modern, disciplined and funded military threat... but they're still an army, an army with the means to do some damage.

Grow up and stop thinking that a conflict with them could be won by a paintballing team.


The North Korea of 2013 is not the North Korea of 1953.  They've gone to shiat since the Cold War ended.

They were propped up by subsidies from China and the USSR.  They don't get much of either.  They had millions die in the '90's during a famine.

They had to recently lower their height/weights standards for their army due to chronic malnutrition, since too many North Koreans were too short and too light for the military. . .so they lowered the standard.

They lack fuel for their vehicles.  Ever seen the wood-gas burning trucks they have over there?  They have wood-burning stoves driving 1950's era trucks.  Yeah, what little fuel they do have is diverted to the military, but that's not enough to fight a war.  They couldn't keep up around-the-clock air superiority operations, air mobility operations, or any other air ops, and any troop transports they'd have along the ground would have similar problems.

They lack spare parts and modernized military equipment.  They are flying the finest Chinese/Soviet hardware of the 1960's and 1970's.  I'd put a single F-15 or F-16 up against 4 or 5 of their fighters easily, simply based on superior radars, superior ECM, and superior missiles, not to mention better maneuverability if it became a dogfight.  If the F-22 enters the battlefield, it becomes a turkey shoot.

The only thing NK has going for them is raw numbers.  On paper they are the 4th largest army in the world.  Don't forget, Iraq was too in 1990, in the lead-in to the Gulf War.  Skeptics then had the same idea of it being a bloodly, drawn out war, but didn't take into account factors like morale, supplies, and the vast technical disparity between the modern US and a communist client state with 1960's and '70's technology.

In the event of a hot shooting war between NK and the rest of the world, the most likely course of events (assuming no nuclear exchange, which is a huge wild card) is:

1. NK opens fire with massive artillery barrage on Seoul.  Seoul takes devastating losses, over 100,000 civilian casualties in the first few minutes.

2. NK begins massive human-wave style assault through the DMZ while the NK air force tries to provide air support.

3. The NK assault runs into massive counterattack.  Poorly trained, chronically malnourished soldiers wither and die before massive counterstrike.  Many NK forces surrender at the first chance.  Supply chain difficulties mean the advance of NK forces is slowed.

4. Air superiority is quickly established by SK and the USA, as the NK air force lasts about as long as the Iraqi one did thanks to a combination of poorly trained pilots, obsolete and poorly maintained equipment, and lack of fuel.  With air superiority established, close-air-support aircraft like the A-10 begin to decimate NK ground forces.

4a. Naval superiority established by US Navy through combination of overwhelming technology, numbers, and firepower.  Most of the NK Navy sits on the bottom of the South China Sea and Sea of Japan within 72 hours of the start of hostilities.

5. NK ground assault stalls less than a hundred miles into SK.  US/SK counterattack includes direct assaults on Pyongyang and other command centers thanks to US air superiority.  Cruise missile and guided weapon attacks decimate the NK command, communications and control structure.  Without unified C3 capability, NK strategically falls apart, and becomes entirely reliant on the tactical and leadership skills of junior officers and NCOs.

6. NK forces on brink of total collapse as allied forces push back.  Brief delay while reinforcements mobilize from US.  NK tries to use this time to regroup, but finds its own C3 elements virtually gone and its supply networks and infrastructure devastated.  A steady pace of advance pushes past the 38th parallel and allied forces take Pyongyang within 7 days.  NK is pushed back to the Yalu river.  Large scale surrenders and defection plagues NK forces.  Total surrender is possible once they are pushed far enough back, especially if Kim Jong Un is dead or captured by this point.

7. China keeps the hell out of it, aside from very strongly worded public statements, as long as US/SK forces don't cross the Yalu.  They don't want to go directly into a shooting war with the US because of the economic damage that would ensue.  Lil' Kim made his bed, and now he's got to deal with it.  The Kim Dynasty falls.  South Korea has the epic and extremely difficult task of integrating NK into its economy and political system.  SK is militarily stable but economically and socially on the brink for at least 20 years rebuilding as a unified Republic of Korea.

7a. US Navy reclaims the USS Pueblo.
 
2013-03-12 10:48:19 PM  

RobertBruce: If they wanted to cripple us with just the EMP they'd use a small nuke in a plane.


First they would need a plane.
 
KIA
2013-03-12 10:54:59 PM  
Hmm... I'll see you and raise you a few:

A) North Korea leads with stealh nuke attacks on Japan and possibly Guam to take out US airstrike capability over Korea.  If the US has a carrier in the region, it becomes top priority and is at high risk of a sub attack or another nuke.

B) Simultaneously, NK pops an EMP either above the West Coast of the US or as close thereto as they can get.  The resulting power outages, fires and supply nightmares cripple multiple states and place millions of lives at risk from California to Alaska and inland to the Rockies.

C) NK fires all 12,000 artillery pieces at SK.  Perhaps 75% actually work, but Seoul is wiped off the map in minutes even if they only use conventional shells.

D) NK begins human wave assault through tunnels and overland which renders most of the SK defenses useless within a very short time.

E) SK and US troops desperately fight for time like they did the first go round, but are pushed back dramatically as their expected air support is absent.

F) Resupply from Pearl or US is greatly delayed and understrength due to unavailabilty of Japanese bases and Guam.  US considers nuclear option as overwhelming numbers push deep into SK.

G) Pakistan makes a move.  Iran makes a move.  China starts eyeing Taiwan and Russia dusts off its plans, whatever those are.

H)  ???
 
2013-03-12 11:18:52 PM  

KIA: Hmm... I'll see you and raise you a few:

A) North Korea leads with stealh nuke attacks on Japan and possibly Guam to take out US airstrike capability over Korea.  If the US has a carrier in the region, it becomes top priority and is at high risk of a sub attack or another nuke.

B) Simultaneously, NK pops an EMP either above the West Coast of the US or as close thereto as they can get.  The resulting power outages, fires and supply nightmares cripple multiple states and place millions of lives at risk from California to Alaska and inland to the Rockies.

C) NK fires all 12,000 artillery pieces at SK.  Perhaps 75% actually work, but Seoul is wiped off the map in minutes even if they only use conventional shells.

D) NK begins human wave assault through tunnels and overland which renders most of the SK defenses useless within a very short time.

E) SK and US troops desperately fight for time like they did the first go round, but are pushed back dramatically as their expected air support is absent.

F) Resupply from Pearl or US is greatly delayed and understrength due to unavailabilty of Japanese bases and Guam.  US considers nuclear option as overwhelming numbers push deep into SK.

G) Pakistan makes a move.  Iran makes a move.  China starts eyeing Taiwan and Russia dusts off its plans, whatever those are.

H)  ???


I think you're beyond "considers" nuclear option by that point.  By this point in the scenario the US military has been assaulted by multiple NUCDETs, and the US mainland was hit with a nuclear weapon.  If SLBM's aren't turning Pyongyang and other major NK targets into self-illuminated glass parking lots, I'd be farking amazed.

Yeah, we might not have air superiority until we can get another carrier in the theater. . .but SLBMs and cruise missiles will do nice work of planting mushrooms all throughout Kim's backyard.  The NK navy can't maintain control of the seas for long, they plain don't have the firepower.  Surprise attack is one thing, the entire farking USN going to town on them is another.

Also, don't discount the North Atlantic Treaty.  A direct military attack on US forces, especially on their home soil or in international waters, would involve bringing NATO in.  It might take a while, but NATO would be bound by treaty to get involved. . .and that means 2 other Nuclear Powers (France and the UK) being dragged along.  NK would definitely be in way over their heads by that point.

Also, you're making BIG assumptions about the ability of NK to launch and accurately target multiple warheads.  Hell, to even possess multiple warheads.  We don't know how many they have.  Your battle plan there just listed 4 NK nuclear strikes: Japan, Guam, a USN Carrier Battlegroup, and the west coast of CONUS.  We don't know if they even have 4 operational warheads, much less an ability to accurately deliver them to those targets.  Yeah, what you described would be a worst case scenario, which would warrant our worst-case reply.

Also, even without US air superiority, you run into NKs chronic supply-line problem.  Remember, an army marches on its stomach, and they don't exactly have a lot of food, or fuel.  This gets 10x worse if a nuclear counterstrike from boomers in the Sea of Japan have erased most NK strategic targets so their own fuel tanks are smoldering debris fields.

As for Pakistan or Iran making a move, or China going for Taiwan, those are too many variables to accurately predict, but admittedly the US having to focus entirely on Korea would give any of those states a chance to do whatever it wanted with limited US interference.
 
2013-03-13 06:55:22 AM  
We've gone from North Korea having a gun-type nuke to their possessing nuclear capabilities the U.S. doesn't have. This is the kind of military analysis we used to do in high school.
 
2013-03-13 08:22:13 AM  

washington-babylon: Of course, saying they have "Electro-Magnetic Pulse warheads" to go with the nukes is proof they don't have the slightest clue what the fark they are talking about. Those so-called "Electromagnetic pulse warheads" are technically any nuclear warhead in the 25 kiloton range, small enough to be a "Tactical" nuke but still able to generate a sizable pulse. From the sounds of it, you are the one who doesn't know what you are talking about.

So of course Fox publishes it as news.
What this boils down to is your rather blind hatred for a specific news outlet. Just because some desk jockey at Fox found this out and and turned it into a story doesn't mean that it's not newsworthy.


The strongest weapon that North Korea has claimed to have detonated was an underground detonation of between 4kT to 7kT in power, and even that has been questioned due to the nuclear satelite monitoring systems that both the US and Russia have in orbit. For comparison, the Trinity Shot using an Ullam-Teller device was 20kT, and Fat Man was 21kT.

So yes. It's FUD.
 
KIA
2013-03-13 10:50:17 AM  

Silverstaff: SLBMs and cruise missiles will do nice work of planting mushrooms all throughout Kim's backyard.


We're not going to be able to launch anything in the direction of China and Russia.  Certainly not across their territory either, so polar launches are right out.  It would have to be a naval launch or B-52s from Alaska. Even those risk major involvement from Russia and China.

Silverstaff: the US mainland was hit with a nuclear weapon


Technically, no.  An offshore airburst, whether EMP enhanced or not, would not be an actual strike on American soil.  It would be a distinction without a difference to be sure, however some kind of BS argument would be made by NK and their patrons that it does not justify nuclear retaliation.

Silverstaff: Also, you're making BIG assumptions about the ability of NK to launch and accurately target multiple warheads.


Pinpoint accuracy will not be needed for any of these operations.

All highly theoretical, I admit, but how many times does the US need to get caught by surprise before we learn not to underestimate a determined foe?
 
2013-03-13 07:38:33 PM  
ICBM

amd-icbm.com
 
2013-03-13 07:53:04 PM  

ItchyMcDoogle: y interesting tidbit from that article was a Big Lebowski game they were developing over there


The Un abides.
 
2013-03-13 10:55:01 PM  

KIA: Silverstaff: SLBMs and cruise missiles will do nice work of planting mushrooms all throughout Kim's backyard.

We're not going to be able to launch anything in the direction of China and Russia.  Certainly not across their territory either, so polar launches are right out.  It would have to be a naval launch or B-52s from Alaska. Even those risk major involvement from Russia and China.

Silverstaff: the US mainland was hit with a nuclear weapon

Technically, no.  An offshore airburst, whether EMP enhanced or not, would not be an actual strike on American soil.  It would be a distinction without a difference to be sure, however some kind of BS argument would be made by NK and their patrons that it does not justify nuclear retaliation.

Silverstaff: Also, you're making BIG assumptions about the ability of NK to launch and accurately target multiple warheads.

Pinpoint accuracy will not be needed for any of these operations.

All highly theoretical, I admit, but how many times does the US need to get caught by surprise before we learn not to underestimate a determined foe?


First, I'm sure we'd have a conversation with Russia and China and they'd greenlight it because they want the right to nuke people who did that to them. Second, B-2s are nuclear-capable, and they're not really in danger from Russia or China. Third, you're right - it's a distinction without a difference and China and Russia are not about to make that argument should someone decide to do that to them. They like useful precedents. Fourth, NK not only doesn't have pinpoint accuracy, they don't have the accuracy to do anything remotely like the suggested scenario.

Finally, underestimating a determined foe results in Custer being slaughtered at Little Big Horn - but not in the Sioux attacking him armed with semiautomatic weapons, which is the equivalent of what's being proposed for NK.
 
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