Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Ahram Online)   Good news: Saudi Arabia may stop beheading people. Not so much: Because there's a shortage of swordsmen   (english.ahram.org.eg) divider line 36
    More: Fail, Saudi Arabia, riyadh, Sri Lankan, death penalty  
•       •       •

5386 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2013 at 10:02 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-11 10:13:40 PM  
10 votes:

AirForceVet: What are the retirement benefits for swordsmen?

/Hey, I might lose my job due to sequestration.


There's a great severance package...
2013-03-11 10:12:49 PM  
5 votes:
The former incumbent:
2.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-11 11:50:18 PM  
4 votes:

Somacandra: They've already started delaying mass crucifixions. What the fark more do you want?


That's just because the country's nail gun broke. They have to go to The Home Despot for another one.
2013-03-11 10:21:08 PM  
4 votes:
Boris!  I've got a special - when can you work him in?

www.morethings.com

"I couldn't possibly sneak him in until Monday, Sir.  I'm booked solid!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHSkMwUa2i4


/ a favorite movie
2013-03-11 11:27:45 PM  
3 votes:

SpdrJay: Pfffft!

I've never beheaded ANYONE and I don't see any frakin' headlines dedicated to my humanitarianism...


img.photobucket.com
2013-03-11 10:45:30 PM  
3 votes:
doglover: Sorcery

I'm sorry but I've got to agree with the Saudis on this one. You'd be a damn fool to arrest a sorcerer and not kill them, otherwise you'll have to face the sorcerer's wrath.
2013-03-11 10:09:33 PM  
3 votes:
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

They will always lose.
2013-03-11 10:03:00 PM  
3 votes:

eyeq360: Beheading people by sword in one blow is pretty hard to do.  It takes a lot of talent.


A chainsaw would be FAR more efficient, but NOOO... That would be too barbaric...
2013-03-11 11:24:01 PM  
2 votes:
Is available on weekends.

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-03-11 10:50:36 PM  
2 votes:

Mugato: doglover: Waging war on God

Isn't it blasphemous to assume that God is so weak that you have to fight His wars for Him?


What I want to know is why jacking it in your car is worthy of the death penalty.
2013-03-11 10:40:09 PM  
2 votes:

doglover: Saudi law allows the death penalty for many crimes. For example:

Waging war on God
Witchcraft

I don't care how good the cous cous is, I ain't goin' there.


On my first reading, I misunderstood this to mean that they frowned deeply on MMOs.
2013-03-11 10:06:18 PM  
2 votes:
Well, they've teched up to Steel, so it would be best just to upgrade their existing warrior units.
2013-03-11 10:04:50 PM  
2 votes:
You know what they say... no noose is good noose.
2013-03-11 09:55:10 PM  
2 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com

When you hire the right guy for the job, you know there can be only one.

/This better turn into a Highlander thread pretty goddamn quick or you're all turning in your Fark cards.
2013-03-11 09:26:49 PM  
2 votes:

eyeq360: Beheading people by sword in one blow is pretty hard to do.  It takes a lot of talent.


Yep.  The talented ones are a cut above.
2013-03-12 07:20:46 PM  
1 votes:

stuffy: [ts1.mm.bing.net image 89x139]
Or you could just build one of these.



Why dont I just build a rocket ship to Mars while I'm at it?
2013-03-12 01:15:05 AM  
1 votes:
Because there's a shortage of swordsmen


Yeah, The Gathering will do that.
2013-03-12 12:58:11 AM  
1 votes:

pion: JesusJuice: readbot42: I am curious what the "herp-derp" crowd thinks. On the one hand, they hate Mooslims, but love cheap gas and the death-penalty. Hmmm. A case study in cognitive dissonance perhaps?

I'm against the death penalty on the grounds that a penalty which is 100% irreversible should not be imposed when the legal system is not 100% accurate.  I think gas should be significantly more expensive than it is, necessity is the mother of invention and we need alternative fuels.  I voted for Obama, support gay rights, support unions, and advocate banning private ownership of firearms.

I also hate Muslims.  Not Arabs, Muslims.  It's a savage and disgusting cult of death and violence.  Their revered prophet is a slave-trading pedophile warlord, and they sincerely love him.  Don't let the cultural relativist Muslim apologists fool you, Islam is an enemy to everyone who values freedom, liberalism, and the ideals of western Enlightenment.  We have nothing to learn from Islam and everything to gain by eradicating it, at least in it's current form.

As someone who also opposes the death penalty and private gun ownership and supports renewable fuels, Obama, gay rights, unions, and feminism, and who has had the pleasure of knowing several Muslim friends over the years, I can say, you're a farking douchebag asshole moron.


who happens to be correct.
2013-03-12 12:25:57 AM  
1 votes:

Amos Quito: JesusJuice: readbot42: I am curious what the "herp-derp" crowd thinks. On the one hand, they hate Mooslims, but love cheap gas and the death-penalty. Hmmm. A case study in cognitive dissonance perhaps?

I'm against the death penalty on the grounds that a penalty which is 100% irreversible should not be imposed when the legal system is not 100% accurate.  I think gas should be significantly more expensive than it is, necessity is the mother of invention and we need alternative fuels.  I voted for Obama, support gay rights, support unions, and advocate banning private ownership of firearms.

I also hate Muslims.  Not Arabs, Muslims.  It's a savage and disgusting cult of death and violence.  Their revered prophet is a slave-trading pedophile warlord, and they sincerely love him.  Don't let the cultural relativist Muslim apologists fool you, Islam is an enemy to everyone who values freedom, liberalism, and the ideals of western Enlightenment.  We have nothing to learn from Islam and everything to gain by eradicating it, at least in it's current form.


Meh.

All of the Abrahamic religions are similarly farked.

But it was all the result of a simple mistake, really.

G-d said "CIRCUMCIZE" when (s)he really meant "CASTRATE".

/Just think of the HUGE difference a simple misinterpretation can make


It was figs. God hates figs.

img.photobucket.com
2013-03-12 12:21:02 AM  
1 votes:

JesusJuice: readbot42: I am curious what the "herp-derp" crowd thinks. On the one hand, they hate Mooslims, but love cheap gas and the death-penalty. Hmmm. A case study in cognitive dissonance perhaps?

I'm against the death penalty on the grounds that a penalty which is 100% irreversible should not be imposed when the legal system is not 100% accurate.  I think gas should be significantly more expensive than it is, necessity is the mother of invention and we need alternative fuels.  I voted for Obama, support gay rights, support unions, and advocate banning private ownership of firearms.

I also hate Muslims.  Not Arabs, Muslims.  It's a savage and disgusting cult of death and violence.  Their revered prophet is a slave-trading pedophile warlord, and they sincerely love him.  Don't let the cultural relativist Muslim apologists fool you, Islam is an enemy to everyone who values freedom, liberalism, and the ideals of western Enlightenment.  We have nothing to learn from Islam and everything to gain by eradicating it, at least in it's current form.



Meh.

All of the Abrahamic religions are similarly farked.

But it was all the result of a simple mistake, really.

G-d said "CIRCUMCIZE" when (s)he really meant "CASTRATE".

/Just think of the HUGE difference a simple misinterpretation can make
2013-03-12 12:01:43 AM  
1 votes:

Generation_D: These 8th century goat herders that won the oil lotto need to be beheaded. Live by the sword and die by the sword. I'll rejoice the day the House of Saud is consigned to the history books.


Hey! Those 8th century goat herders are our ALLIES.

mycatbirdseat.com
2013-03-11 11:30:02 PM  
1 votes:

Pathman: doglover: Waging war on God

whoa...imagine having that one read to you at araignment... although i realize with these dipshiats that probably means something along the lines of cutting the tag off a mattress and not exactly shooting the Pope, but still,  that would be a way better response to the "what are you in for?" question than home invasion.


I don't know, that one seems pretty badass:

A: What are you in for?
B: Murder and armed robbery.  You?
A: Waging war on God.
B: You can have whichever bunk you like.
2013-03-11 11:12:06 PM  
1 votes:
i208.photobucket.com
R.I.P. SWORD MAN
2013-03-11 10:53:41 PM  
1 votes:

Generation_D: These 8th century goat herders that won the oil lotto need to be beheaded.



ist2-1.filesor.com

Wait, which goat herders?
2013-03-11 10:45:07 PM  
1 votes:

doglover: Saudi law allows the death penalty for many crimes. For example:


Terrorism

Some of them are more like guidelines.
2013-03-11 10:44:33 PM  
1 votes:
So...they have job openings?
2013-03-11 10:37:54 PM  
1 votes:
I guess I'll scrap my plans of waging war on god with sorcery while I visit.
2013-03-11 10:31:07 PM  
1 votes:

doglover: Saudi law allows the death penalty for many crimes. For example:

Adultery (Unmarried adulterers can be sentenced to 100 lashes, married ones can be sentenced to stoning.)
Apostasy (Apostates are sentenced to beheading but are usually given three days to repent and return to Islam.)
Armed robbery
Blasphemy
Carjacking
Drug smuggling
Fornication
Home invasion
Homosexuality (If a person is sodomized by his or her own consent, then he/she might also be sentenced to death)
Idolatry
Murder
Prostitution
Rape
Sedition
Sexual misconduct
Sorcery
Terrorism
Theft (fourth conviction)
Treason
Waging war on God
Witchcraft

I don't care how good the cous cous is, I ain't goin' there.


seriously.  i'm pretty much guilty of all of those things at one time or another in one form or another
(lol - 'cept i ain't no idolator)
2013-03-11 10:29:34 PM  
1 votes:
i1.ytimg.com
you were supposed to fire up, we all fired up
2013-03-11 10:18:45 PM  
1 votes:

AirForceVet: What are the retirement benefits for swordsmen?

/Hey, I might lose my job due to sequestration.


There's a nice severance package.
2013-03-11 10:16:30 PM  
1 votes:

Molavian: Somacandra: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x214]

When you hire the right guy for the job, you know there can be only one.

/This better turn into a Highlander thread pretty goddamn quick or you're all turning in your Fark cards.

Ah, the voice of Eugene Krabs on SpongeBob.


tiff.net

He told you not to bring that up.
2013-03-11 10:14:49 PM  
1 votes:

Ambivalence: hardinparamedic: Generation_D: These 8th century goat herders that won the oil lotto need to be beheaded. Live by the sword and die by the sword. I'll rejoice the day the House of Saud is consigned to the history books.

It's not like it's a medieval beheading anyway. They draw off so much blood and dope them up so much they literally have to drag them to the block to begin with. They're literally in decompensated shock when the sword falls down.

If you ever watch any of the videos of them doing it, there's a reason you don't see fountains of blood.

Ummmm...why are you watching videos of people getting beheaded in Saudi Arabia?


Because that's where they behead people. If they did it in France, he'd be watching videos of Frenchmen being beheaded. Duh.
2013-03-11 10:13:28 PM  
1 votes:
www.wearysloth.com
2013-03-11 10:05:51 PM  
1 votes:
Job security!

media.screened.com
2013-03-11 08:56:10 PM  
1 votes:

AirForceVet: What are the retirement benefits for swordsmen?


What do you think?

*lop*
2013-03-11 08:52:37 PM  
1 votes:
What are the retirement benefits for swordsmen?

/Hey, I might lose my job due to sequestration.
 
Displayed 36 of 36 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report