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(Some Guy)   "He despised phonies, his 1969 Volvo (which he also loved) . . . Law and Order (all franchises), cats, and Martha Stewart" This and other gems from the finest obituary a man could ever want   (bradfordokeefe.com ) divider line
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15397 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2013 at 9:41 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



119 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-03-11 05:43:28 PM  
The best obituary I have ever read.
 
2013-03-11 05:51:37 PM  
Harry took fashion cues from no one. His signature every day look was all his: a plain pocketed T-shirt designed by the fashion house Fruit of the Loom, his black-label elastic waist shorts worn above the navel and sold exclusively at the Sam's on Highway 49, and a pair of old school Wallabees (who can even remember where he got those?) that were always paired with a grass-stained MSU baseball cap.

Dad?
 
2013-03-11 05:55:12 PM  
He particularly hated Day Light Saving Time, which he referred to as The Devil's Time. It is not lost on his family that he died the very day that he would have had to spring his clock forward. This can only be viewed as his final protest.

Because of his irrational fear that his family would throw him a golf-themed funeral despite his hatred for the sport, his family will hold a private, family only service free of any type of "theme."


Well, they could make it beer themed. I suspect he would have approved.
 
2013-03-11 06:27:28 PM  
no obituary shows up for me, in either FF or Chrome. Just a blank page with people talking about the obit.
 
2013-03-11 06:36:59 PM  

cannotsuggestaname: no obituary shows up for me, in either FF or Chrome. Just a blank page with people talking about the obit.


works fine for me in FF, just have to click "obituary and services"
 
2013-03-11 06:37:48 PM  

cannotsuggestaname: no obituary shows up for me, in either FF or Chrome. Just a blank page with people talking about the obit.


Click the obits tab on the linked page.
 
2013-03-11 07:07:37 PM  

TheDumbBlonde: cannotsuggestaname: no obituary shows up for me, in either FF or Chrome. Just a blank page with people talking about the obit.

Click the obits tab on the linked page.



It is working now, but before that just reloaded the comments section. FF still doesn't work for me, but Chrome is going fine... maybe something in Noscript/Adblocker is futzing with it.

It's a great obit.
 
2013-03-11 07:17:12 PM  

cannotsuggestaname: TheDumbBlonde: cannotsuggestaname: no obituary shows up for me, in either FF or Chrome. Just a blank page with people talking about the obit.

Click the obits tab on the linked page.


It is working now, but before that just reloaded the comments section. FF still doesn't work for me, but Chrome is going fine... maybe something in Noscript/Adblocker is futzing with it.

It's a great obit.


Somebody loved him.
 
Pud
2013-03-11 07:23:02 PM  
He sounds like somebody I would have enjoyed partying with. Oh well, maybe I'll have better luck the next time around.
 
2013-03-11 08:24:14 PM  
Makes me wish I had known the guy.

"He particularly hated Day Light Saving Time, which he referred to as The Devil's Time. It is not lost on his family that he died the very day that he would have had to spring his clock forward. This can only be viewed as his final protest."
 
2013-03-11 08:52:34 PM  
 
2013-03-11 09:02:53 PM  
He excelled at growing camellias, rebuilding houses after hurricanes, rocking, eradicating mole crickets from his front yard, composting pine needles, living within his means, outsmarting squirrels, never losing a game of competitive sickness, and reading any history book he could get his hands on.

Sounds like a very interesting person, just crazy enough to make any social event an adventure.
 
2013-03-11 09:20:42 PM  
Just goes to show, it's all about the writer...not the subject
 
2013-03-11 09:29:01 PM  
Alright.. so I don't see the actual obit, just the comments.  Can someone who is less inept than I copypasta?
 
2013-03-11 09:38:55 PM  
I'm a little sad, now that I know I will never have met this guy... we have a fair bit in common, but we might have got to fisticuffs about the daylight savings time thing...
 
2013-03-11 09:47:36 PM  
Come on, man, what have you got against Law & Order?

northshoreviews.com

Jerry Orbach was the man!
 
2013-03-11 09:48:13 PM  
Just added this to my "after I kick the bucket" list...  Hope someone loves me enough to do this...
 
2013-03-11 09:49:08 PM  

timujin: Alright.. so I don't see the actual obit, just the comments.  Can someone who is less inept than I copypasta?


Seconded, the obituary does not show up on my screen.

TIA!
 
2013-03-11 09:52:22 PM  
Obituary for Harry StampsHarry Weathersby Stamps, ladies' man, foodie, natty dresser, and accomplished traveler, died on Saturday, March 9, 2013.
Harry was locally sourcing his food years before chefs in California starting using cilantro and arugula (both of which he hated). For his signature bacon and tomato sandwich, he procured 100% all white Bunny Bread from Georgia, Blue Plate mayonnaise from New Orleans, Sauer's black pepper from Virginia, home grown tomatoes from outside Oxford, and Tennessee's Benton bacon from his bacon-of-the-month subscription. As a point of pride, he purported to remember every meal he had eaten in his 80 years of life.
The women in his life were numerous. He particularly fancied smart women. He loved his mom Wilma Hartzog (deceased), who with the help of her sisters and cousins in New Hebron reared Harry after his father Walter's death when Harry was 12. He worshipped his older sister Lynn Stamps Garner (deceased), a character in her own right, and her daughter Lynda Lightsey of Hattiesburg. He married his main squeeze Ann Moore, a home economics teacher, almost 50 years ago, with whom they had two girls Amanda Lewis of Dallas, and Alison of Starkville. He taught them to fish, to select a quality hammer, to love nature, and to just be thankful. He took great pride in stocking their tool boxes. One of his regrets was not seeing his girl, Hillary Clinton, elected President.
He had a life-long love affair with deviled eggs, Lane cakes, boiled peanuts, Vienna [Vi-e-na] sausages on saltines, his homemade canned fig preserves, pork chops, turnip greens, and buttermilk served in martini glasses garnished with cornbread.
He excelled at growing camellias, rebuilding houses after hurricanes, rocking, eradicating mole crickets from his front yard, composting pine needles, living within his means, outsmarting squirrels, never losing a game of competitive sickness, and reading any history book he could get his hands on. He loved to use his oversized "old man" remote control, which thankfully survived Hurricane Katrina, to flip between watching The Barefoot Contessa and anything on The History Channel. He took extreme pride in his two grandchildren Harper Lewis (8) and William Stamps Lewis (6) of Dallas for whom he would crow like a rooster on their phone calls. As a former government and sociology professor for Gulf Coast Community College, Harry was thoroughly interested in politics and religion and enjoyed watching politicians act like preachers and preachers act like politicians. He was fond of saying a phrase he coined "I am not running for political office or trying to get married" when he was "speaking the truth." He also took pride in his service during the Korean conflict, serving the rank of corporal--just like Napolean, as he would say.
Harry took fashion cues from no one. His signature every day look was all his: a plain pocketed T-shirt designed by the fashion house Fruit of the Loom, his black-label elastic waist shorts worn above the navel and sold exclusively at the Sam's on Highway 49, and a pair of old school Wallabees (who can even remember where he got those?) that were always paired with a grass-stained MSU baseball cap.
Harry traveled extensively. He only stayed in the finest quality AAA-rated campgrounds, his favorite being Indian Creek outside Cherokee, North Carolina. He always spent the extra money to upgrade to a creek view for his tent. Many years later he purchased a used pop-up camper for his family to travel in style, which spoiled his daughters for life.
He despised phonies, his 1969 Volvo (which he also loved), know-it-all Yankees, Southerners who used the words "veranda" and "porte cochere" to put on airs, eating grape leaves, Law and Order (all franchises), cats, and Martha Stewart. In reverse order. He particularly hated Day Light Saving Time, which he referred to as The Devil's Time. It is not lost on his family that he died the very day that he would have had to spring his clock forward. This can only be viewed as his final protest.
Because of his irrational fear that his family would throw him a golf-themed funeral despite his hatred for the sport, his family will hold a private, family only service free of any type of "theme." Visitation will be held at Bradford-O'Keefe Funeral Home, 15th Street, Gulfport on Monday, March 11, 2013 from 6-8 p.m.
In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you make a donation to Mississippi Gulf Coast Community College (Jeff Davis Campus) for their library. Harry retired as Dean there and was very proud of his friends and the faculty. He taught thousands and thousands of Mississippians during his life. The family would also like to thank the Gulfport Railroad Center dialysis staff who took great care of him and his caretaker Jameka Stribling.
Finally, the family asks that in honor of Harry that you write your Congressman and ask for the repeal of Day Light Saving Time. Harry wanted everyone to get back on the Lord's Time.
 
2013-03-11 09:56:26 PM  
Harry Weathersby Stamps, ladies' man, foodie, natty dresser, and accomplished traveler, died on Saturday, March 9, 2013.

Harry was locally sourcing his food years before chefs in California starting using cilantro and arugula (both of which he hated). For his signature bacon and tomato sandwich, he procured 100% all white Bunny Bread from Georgia, Blue Plate mayonnaise from New Orleans, Sauer's black pepper from Virginia, home grown tomatoes from outside Oxford, and Tennessee's Benton bacon from his bacon-of-the-month subscription. As a point of pride, he purported to remember every meal he had eaten in his 80 years of life.

The women in his life were numerous. He particularly fancied smart women. He loved his mom Wilma Hartzog (deceased), who with the help of her sisters and cousins in New Hebron reared Harry after his father Walter's death when Harry was 12. He worshipped his older sister Lynn Stamps Garner (deceased), a character in her own right, and her daughter Lynda Lightsey of Hattiesburg. He married his main squeeze Ann Moore, a home economics teacher, almost 50 years ago, with whom they had two girls Amanda Lewis of Dallas, and Alison of Starkville. He taught them to fish, to select a quality hammer, to love nature, and to just be thankful. He took great pride in stocking their tool boxes. One of his regrets was not seeing his girl, Hillary Clinton, elected President.

He had a life-long love affair with deviled eggs, Lane cakes, boiled peanuts, Vienna [Vi-e-na] sausages on saltines, his homemade canned fig preserves, pork chops, turnip greens, and buttermilk served in martini glasses garnished with cornbread.
He excelled at growing camellias, rebuilding houses after hurricanes, rocking, eradicating mole crickets from his front yard, composting pine needles, living within his means, outsmarting squirrels, never losing a game of competitive sickness, and reading any history book he could get his hands on. He loved to use his oversized "old man" remote control, which thankfully survived Hurricane Katrina, to flip between watching The Barefoot Contessa and anything on The History Channel. He took extreme pride in his two grandchildren Harper Lewis (8) and William Stamps Lewis (6) of Dallas for whom he would crow like a rooster on their phone calls. As a former government and sociology professor for Gulf Coast Community College, Harry was thoroughly interested in politics and religion and enjoyed watching politicians act like preachers and preachers act like politicians. He was fond of saying a phrase he coined "I am not running for political office or trying to get married" when he was "speaking the truth." He also took pride in his service during the Korean conflict, serving the rank of corporal--just like Napolean, as he would say.

Harry took fashion cues from no one. His signature every day look was all his: a plain pocketed T-shirt designed by the fashion house Fruit of the Loom, his black-label elastic waist shorts worn above the navel and sold exclusively at the Sam's on Highway 49, and a pair of old school Wallabees (who can even remember where he got those?) that were always paired with a grass-stained MSU baseball cap.
Harry traveled extensively. He only stayed in the finest quality AAA-rated campgrounds, his favorite being Indian Creek outside Cherokee, North Carolina. He always spent the extra money to upgrade to a creek view for his tent. Many years later he purchased a used pop-up camper for his family to travel in style, which spoiled his daughters for life.

He despised phonies, his 1969 Volvo (which he also loved), know-it-all Yankees, Southerners who used the words "veranda" and "porte cochere" to put on airs, eating grape leaves, Law and Order (all franchises), cats, and Martha Stewart. In reverse order. He particularly hated Day Light Saving Time, which he referred to as The Devil's Time. It is not lost on his family that he died the very day that he would have had to spring his clock forward. This can only be viewed as his final protest.

Because of his irrational fear that his family would throw him a golf-themed funeral despite his hatred for the sport, his family will hold a private, family only service free of any type of "theme." Visitation will be held at Bradford-O'Keefe Funeral Home, 15th Street, Gulfport on Monday, March 11, 2013 from 6-8 p.m.
In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you make a donation to Mississippi Gulf Coast Community College (Jeff Davis Campus) for their library. Harry retired as Dean there and was very proud of his friends and the faculty. He taught thousands and thousands of Mississippians during his life. The family would also like to thank the Gulfport Railroad Center dialysis staff who took great care of him and his caretaker Jameka Stribling.
Finally, the family asks that in honor of Harry that you write your Congressman and ask for the repeal of Day Light Saving Time. Harry wanted everyone to get back on the Lord's Time.
 
2013-03-11 09:57:43 PM  

publikenemy: Just goes to show, it's all about the writer...not the subject


Not to take away from the man, but so true.
 
2013-03-11 10:00:55 PM  
"Harry was thoroughly interested in politics and religion and enjoyed watching politicians act like preachers and preachers act like politicians"

This perfectly describes my grandfather, they even have the same name.
 
2013-03-11 10:02:27 PM  
One of my favorite L&O quotes:

Det. Mike Logan: Interviewing suspect: When is your birthday?
Suspect: March 20.
Det. Mike Logan: What year?
Suspect: Every year. I have a birthday every year!
 
2013-03-11 10:02:28 PM  
Very nice.
 
2013-03-11 10:03:08 PM  
...and he called his wheelchair his Camaro.
 
2013-03-11 10:04:38 PM  
Ok, this part made me lol as well

"Finally, the family asks that in honor of Harry that you write your Congressman and ask for the repeal of Day Light Saving Time. Harry wanted everyone to get back on the Lord's Time."
 
2013-03-11 10:06:19 PM  
RIP

Condolences to the family.
 
2013-03-11 10:11:49 PM  
 
2013-03-11 10:11:53 PM  
One of his regrets was not seeing his girl, Hillary Clinton, elected President.

So, is this Hilliary Clinton's father or what?
 
2013-03-11 10:14:11 PM  
...stay thirsty, my friends
 
2013-03-11 10:14:54 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: I dunno....

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/denverpost/obituary.aspx?page=lifes to ry&pid=156944598


Yea, I'm looking forward to one seeing one like that for me soon.
 
2013-03-11 10:15:47 PM  
For someone who hated golf he sure seemed to have a good time hitting golf balls off of his oil rig at the Greenpeace ship...

Oh, Stamps not Stamper.  My bad.

Other than the Daylight Savings thing I think I'd have enjoyed having him as a neighbor to lean over the back fence & solve the problems of the world with.

/would much rather have an extra hour of light in the evening after work than in the morning when I'm driving somewhere to go sit inside all day.
 
2013-03-11 10:18:42 PM  
What obituary? It shows his dates of birth and death, that's it.
 
2013-03-11 10:20:27 PM  
 
2013-03-11 10:21:30 PM  

Glitchwerks: Come on, man, what have you got against Law & Order?


Yeah, i read that and i was like fark this guy, no taste.  But i think it's one of those tongue in cheek things, like he hated every episode that he watched without fail.
 
2013-03-11 10:25:43 PM  
Why does everyone hate Martha Stewart so much?
 
2013-03-11 10:26:29 PM  
He particularly hated Day Light Saving Time, which he referred to as The Devil's Time. It is not lost on his family that he died the very day that he would have had to spring his clock forward. This can only be viewed as his final protest.

God yes Daylight Savings Time can go to hell. Let me see if I get this correct. You give me an extra hour (OK I admit I love that) in the late part of the year so that you can deny me light later in the day (I hate that) in exchange for more light in the morning (meh). OK that part is a push. I like extra hours.

And then you go and take away my hour (f*ck you) to give me the late day sunlight you took away earlier? Oh well THANK YOU. A**hole.

I hope Ben Franklin burns in hell one day a year. You know what day that would be.
 
2013-03-11 10:28:29 PM  
Anybody who hates Martha Stewart is ok by me. Sounds like he was a cool old dude.
 
2013-03-11 10:29:04 PM  

Mugato: Why does everyone hate Martha Stewart so much?


Because it's a good thing.
 
2013-03-11 10:29:45 PM  
From comments in the obituary----I'msincerely disappointed to have never known him.

Drew - 2 minutes ago

Drew?
 
2013-03-11 10:30:14 PM  
Thanks to those who posted the original obit.  The link still goes to comments from the peanut gallery for me.

/Now I'll have to edit my own obit.
 
2013-03-11 10:30:24 PM  

Mugato: Why does everyone hate Martha Stewart so much?


Because she's an unethical, uppity b*tch who made a career out of turning people into arts and craft snobs?
 
2013-03-11 10:35:27 PM  
Without even getting into the details, you can infer that this guy was pretty great just because the people around him loved him enough to write it.

Also:

his bacon-of-the-month subscription
 
2013-03-11 10:36:48 PM  
Nothing but respect for a man that despises all franchises of Law & Order.

I'll hoist a brew to him tonight!
 
2013-03-11 10:37:36 PM  
So the guy vilified ponies?

Not sure what's lost here

/condolences to loved ones
 
2013-03-11 10:41:38 PM  
"He despised phonies"
Even Derpy?
 
2013-03-11 10:42:09 PM  
I'm laughing at all the people who can't navigate a goddamn webpage.

Some of you are stupid.
 
2013-03-11 10:42:12 PM  

freewill: Without even getting into the details, you can infer that this guy was pretty great just because the people around him loved him enough to write it.

Also:

his bacon-of-the-month subscription


Bacon of the Month Club sealed the deal for me.
 
2013-03-11 10:42:26 PM  
That obit is full of fail. If mine references Martha Stewart, a volvo, or TV shows I should be glad I'm dead.

Though I happen to agree with the man on Daylight Savings Time.

/RIP you cranky ol fukr
 
2013-03-11 10:44:59 PM  
Mmmmm. Blue Plate.

R.I.P. Blue Plate loving farker.
 
2013-03-11 10:46:10 PM  

The Southern Dandy: Nothing but respect for a man that despises all franchises of Law & Order.

I'll hoist a brew to him tonight!


Second. Except vodak. Cheers!
 
2013-03-11 10:47:00 PM  
man--wish i had met the man
 
2013-03-11 10:49:15 PM  

IPCONFIG -ALL: One of his regrets was not seeing his girl, Hillary Clinton, elected President.

So, is this Hilliary Clinton's father or what?


Lost all admiration for him at that point.
 
2013-03-11 10:50:50 PM  
Aside from the cat hating, which is more about Old Fashioned Southern Manhood than anything else, he sounds like someone I'd have liked to know.
 
2013-03-11 10:51:40 PM  
This is what happens when you let a pretentious smartass write his own obit.
As for the other obits linked in the comments.

 

ArcadianRefugee: I dunno....

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/denverpost/obituary.aspx?page=lifes to ry&pid=156944598


Michael "Flathead" Blanchard Obituary
"So many of his childhood friends that weren't killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats."

majik624: My favorite obit is this one:
http://www.popehat.com/2008/05/09/way-to-go/


Mr. Louis Casimir Jr.
"Many of his childhood friends who weren't killed or maimed in various wars became petty criminals, prostitutes, and/or Republicans."

Ahem.
 
2013-03-11 10:55:28 PM  

brandent: Obituary for Harry StampsHarry Weathersby Stamps, ladies' man, foodie, natty dresser, and accomplished traveler, died on Saturday, March 9, 2013.
Harry was locally sourcing his food years before chefs in California starting using cilantro and arugula (both of which he hated). For his signature bacon and tomato sandwich, he procured 100% all white Bunny Bread from Georgia, Blue Plate mayonnaise from New Orleans, Sauer's black pepper from Virginia, home grown tomatoes from outside Oxford, and Tennessee's Benton bacon from his bacon-of-the-month subscription. As a point of pride, he purported to remember every meal he had eaten in his 80 years of life.
The women in his life were numerous. He particularly fancied smart women. He loved his mom Wilma Hartzog (deceased), who with the help of her sisters and cousins in New Hebron reared Harry after his father Walter's death when Harry was 12. He worshipped his older sister Lynn Stamps Garner (deceased), a character in her own right, and her daughter Lynda Lightsey of Hattiesburg. He married his main squeeze Ann Moore, a home economics teacher, almost 50 years ago, with whom they had two girls Amanda Lewis of Dallas, and Alison of Starkville. He taught them to fish, to select a quality hammer, to love nature, and to just be thankful. He took great pride in stocking their tool boxes. One of his regrets was not seeing his girl, Hillary Clinton, elected President.
He had a life-long love affair with deviled eggs, Lane cakes, boiled peanuts, Vienna [Vi-e-na] sausages on saltines, his homemade canned fig preserves, pork chops, turnip greens, and buttermilk served in martini glasses garnished with cornbread.
He excelled at growing camellias, rebuilding houses after hurricanes, rocking, eradicating mole crickets from his front yard, composting pine needles, living within his means, outsmarting squirrels, never losing a game of competitive sickness, and reading any history book he could get his hands on. He loved to use his oversize ...


Holy crap, I don't know this guy, but now I'm feeling a bit blue that I never got to meet him.

RIP, good sir.
 
2013-03-11 10:56:34 PM  
The best obituary I've seen in my small-town paper lately is for a man whose friends held not a church service or graveside service, but a memorial barbecue. Wish I'd gone.
 
2013-03-11 10:57:07 PM  

i upped my meds-up yours: Aside from the cat hating, which is more about Old Fashioned Southern Manhood than anything else, he sounds like someone I'd have liked to know.


Cat hater? i must've missed that.

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-11 11:03:49 PM  

Huck And Molly Ziegler: The best obituary I've seen in my small-town paper lately is for a man whose friends held not a church service or graveside service, but a memorial barbecue. Wish I'd gone.


Last summer when a friend/neighbor died his sisters threw a party during happy hour at the bar he went to daily.

It was perfect. The man loved $1.50 beer.
 
2013-03-11 11:05:41 PM  

puckrock2000: This is what happens when you let a pretentious smartass write his own obit.


His daughter wrote it.
 
2013-03-11 11:07:27 PM  
Harry was locally sourcing his food years before chefs in California starting using cilantro and arugula (both of which he hated).

The man was a hero.
 
2013-03-11 11:13:58 PM  

vicejay: puckrock2000: This is what happens when you let a pretentious smartass write his own obit.

His daughter wrote it.


fabricated outrage knows no bounds (and it's not too concerned about being correct either)
 
2013-03-11 11:18:12 PM  
planetwill.jt.org
TO HARRY STAMPS!
 
2013-03-11 11:19:07 PM  
I, too, hate golf.

Godspeed, cranky man.
 
2013-03-11 11:19:53 PM  
I wrote my brother's, in December 2011.

It had guinea pigs, Star Trek, guns, NASCAR, the Oakland Raiders, and finished with a Hunter S. Thompson quote.

I'm proud of it.
 
2013-03-11 11:22:51 PM  
No cats, l&o or dst?

Good riddance and rot in hell
 
2013-03-11 11:23:46 PM  

majik624: My favorite obit is this one:
http://www.popehat.com/2008/05/09/way-to-go/


Time to update your go-to favorite obit, my friend. That was good, but the one in TFA has it beat by a long shot. ;)
 
2013-03-11 11:24:25 PM  
Bacon of the month club? I'm going to have to look into that.
 
rka
2013-03-11 11:25:19 PM  
I too despise the uppity use of the word "porte cochere", especially when you're just using it to describe the carport on your double wide trailer.
 
2013-03-11 11:27:48 PM  
I thought Jean Shepherd was dead...but obviously he wrote that obit.
 
2013-03-11 11:29:15 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-11 11:31:40 PM  
I wish I knew this man, we would have gotten along well.

Aces for donations to a library too.
 
2013-03-11 11:35:11 PM  
That was probably one of the best obits I've read. I mean, I've read obits about war heroes and guys that saved a dozen schoolchildren, but this one is actually approachable and it feels more like real life than some kind of movie. No disrespect to the war heroes or child-savers.

He seems like he would have been a cool guy to meet and have a beer with. Maybe shoot the shiat over some philosophy, politics or history.

Welp, it seems like he had a good run anyway.

This next sip is to you,  Harry Weathersby Stamps! Prost!
 
2013-03-11 11:40:53 PM  

Recoil Therapy: For someone who hated golf he sure seemed to have a good time hitting golf balls off of his oil rig at the Greenpeace ship...

Oh, Stamps not Stamper.  My bad.

Other than the Daylight Savings thing I think I'd have enjoyed having him as a neighbor to lean over the back fence & solve the problems of the world with.

/would much rather have an extra hour of light in the evening after work than in the morning when I'm driving somewhere to go sit inside all day.


What if he was arguing to make it permanent? Then you guys would hit it off like gangbusters!
 
2013-03-11 11:42:53 PM  
Outside of the hots for Hillary Clinton (we are all sinners), he had a very rich life !
 
2013-03-11 11:43:52 PM  
RIP good sir...but I doubt you would be so lazy.  You would have been a tier1 Farker! Salute!
 
2013-03-11 11:49:21 PM  
This makes me proud of my hometown.

This guy sounds like he was pretty awesome.
 
2013-03-11 11:51:36 PM  
Simply fantastic.
 
2013-03-11 11:52:54 PM  
Indeed this man deserve quite a lot of credit. RIP to you, Harry.
 
2013-03-11 11:56:05 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

Not at all phony
 
2013-03-12 12:00:39 AM  

Mugato: Why does everyone hate Martha Stewart so much?


rumor has it she's Ann Hathaway's grandma
 
2013-03-12 12:04:39 AM  
He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy
 
2013-03-12 12:08:08 AM  
Also despised phonies...

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-12 12:10:48 AM  
fc09.deviantart.net

I despise ponies too.
 
2013-03-12 12:18:08 AM  

great_tigers: [fc09.deviantart.net image 850x850]

I despise ponies too.


dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com
 
2013-03-12 12:19:10 AM  

encyclopediaplushuman: great_tigers: [fc09.deviantart.net image 850x850]

I despise ponies too.

[dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com image 443x255]


Yiff in hell.
 
2013-03-12 12:24:00 AM  

potterydove: encyclopediaplushuman: great_tigers: [fc09.deviantart.net image 850x850]

I despise ponies too.

[dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com image 443x255]

Yiff in hell.


dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com
 
2013-03-12 12:27:10 AM  
You know, this just makes me realize that almost all obituaries suck.  Most of them could be like this if people were more honest.
 
2013-03-12 12:31:48 AM  
I smiled , laughed and was saddened . Mostly because i'll never get to meet him ....
 
2013-03-12 12:33:31 AM  
What was his Fark ID?
 
2013-03-12 12:37:21 AM  
Gott in Himmel. I grew up near that funeral home, on the 'campus' of the USN Retirement Home. This "Harry Stamps" could have been any one of the residents.
 
2013-03-12 12:39:11 AM  
th01.deviantart.net
Who could hate ponies?
 
2013-03-12 12:41:26 AM  
I grew up in AZ so I was spoiled. I NEVER had to change my clock.

But when I worked on the phone I had to change my schedule to compensate for the rest of you farkers.

WTF rest of the country? I've moved out of AZ and I must say this shiat is insane. This daylight savings crap never made any sense to me. You do shiat during the optimal time, period right? I was always told this shiat had something to do with farming. Bullshiat. Farmers do what they need to do when it needs to be done, not because Ben flipping Franklin decided life would be better if we fudged with our clocks twice a year.

STOP THIS shiat ALREADY. Please.
 
2013-03-12 12:43:57 AM  
Also partial to Nancy Lee Hixon's obituary.
 
2013-03-12 12:46:19 AM  

cannotsuggestaname: no obituary shows up for me, in either FF or Chrome.


Well, of course there's no obituary for you.
 
2013-03-12 12:49:19 AM  
I see the bronies have showed up, bunch of pedofiles in training just like any regular church pastor.
 
2013-03-12 12:57:53 AM  
God bless this man.
 
2013-03-12 01:02:56 AM  
Condolences to his family.

I would have loved to have known this man.  He would have made a fine Portis character, as well.
 
2013-03-12 01:19:30 AM  
Good obituary, seems like a neat guy, but reading history books and watching the history channel just don't go together. It's like running a barbecue joint but eating McRibs.
 
2013-03-12 01:22:45 AM  

catzies: I wrote my brother's, in December 2011.

It had guinea pigs, Star Trek, guns, NASCAR, the Oakland Raiders, and finished with a Hunter S. Thompson quote.

I'm proud of it.


Condolences. Link?
 
2013-03-12 01:28:18 AM  

NobleHam: Good obituary, seems like a neat guy, but reading history books and watching the history channel just don't go together. It's like running a barbecue joint but eating McRibs.


The McRib is clearly alien technology. There are many scholars from DeVry and the University of Phoenix that have attributed ancient bathroom wall drawings all over the world to a race of superior beings that had developed a non-bone pork like product that transcended time and space. These patterns are mostly poop like and hexagonal in nature. Mankind could never have created the McRib.
 
2013-03-12 01:28:25 AM  
Contradiction FTFO: "One of his regrets was not seeing his girl, Hillary Clinton, elected President," and yet, "He despised phonies."

Just Google "hillary clinton bosnia sniper" and "hillary clinton southern accent."

You could probably also look up "hillary says she forgives bill for putting a cigar in that chick's hoo-ha" but I don't know if it'll be productive.
 
2013-03-12 01:31:54 AM  
Allow me to present another favorite as pointed out by Neil Gaiman, for Colonel Michael Singleton.   Truly, the Telegraph has the best obituaries.

From 1948 to 1973 Singleton was headmaster of The Elms school near Malvern. Believing that boys should be neither cosseted nor cowed, he ran the school to robust, rural routines. Before breakfast every morning, Singleton would march everyone outside for several minutes of physical exercise. "Breathers" was held in all weathers, all seasons.

Long walks, cold dormitories and regular hymn-singing were also an integral part of the education, along with cricket nets and Latin prose.

Despite a brisk code of discipline, Singleton took a laissez-faire approach out of the classroom. Every November 5 the smallest boy in the school was sent down a tunnel to light the very core of the bonfire. None, so far as anyone can recall, was ever lost.
 
2013-03-12 01:41:31 AM  

JosephFinn: Allow me to present another favorite as pointed out by Neil Gaiman, for Colonel Michael Singleton.   Truly, the Telegraph has the best obituaries.

From 1948 to 1973 Singleton was headmaster of The Elms school near Malvern. Believing that boys should be neither cosseted nor cowed, he ran the school to robust, rural routines. Before breakfast every morning, Singleton would march everyone outside for several minutes of physical exercise. "Breathers" was held in all weathers, all seasons.

Long walks, cold dormitories and regular hymn-singing were also an integral part of the education, along with cricket nets and Latin prose.

Despite a brisk code of discipline, Singleton took a laissez-faire approach out of the classroom. Every November 5 the smallest boy in the school was sent down a tunnel to light the very core of the bonfire. None, so far as anyone can recall, was ever lost.


From the same obit:

If he was an authoritarian, sometimes distant figure, his wife ("Mrs Michael") was artistic and warm, giving boys jam toast in reward for minor errands. She organised ballroom dancing matches against local girls' schools.

I love this.
 
2013-03-12 01:50:07 AM  

Mugato: Why does everyone hate Martha Stewart so much?


I dunno. Here she is modeling when she was young.

images.celebritypop.com
static6.businessinsider.com
 
2013-03-12 02:39:43 AM  

doglover: [th01.deviantart.net image 425x384]
Who could hate ponies?


Exactly
 
2013-03-12 03:21:36 AM  
When I die, I can only hope I'll have an obit close to this freaking epic. But knowing me, mine will say something like:

"He was one grumpy son of a biatch, who liked cheese."
 
2013-03-12 03:30:56 AM  

encyclopediaplushuman: doglover: [th01.deviantart.net image 425x384]
Who could hate ponies?

Exactly


Hmm. A thread gone full pony about a guy who hated phonies but loved his classic Volvo? I'm not gonna use anything shopped. That's pretty long-tail even for the Herd, but...

i.imgur.com

Not quite as classic as the 1969 model, but Eeyup, the Herd has it covered.

RIP, Mr. Stamps. You rock. (Woo-hoo!) 8000+ people have read your story so far tonight. Death has struck you down, only to make you 20% cooler.
 
2013-03-12 03:46:05 AM  

Twilight Farkle: encyclopediaplushuman: doglover: [th01.deviantart.net image 425x384]
Who could hate ponies?

Exactly

Hmm. A thread gone full pony about a guy who hated phonies but loved his classic Volvo? I'm not gonna use anything shopped. That's pretty long-tail even for the Herd, but...

[i.imgur.com image 850x527]

Not quite as classic as the 1969 model, but Eeyup, the Herd has it covered.

RIP, Mr. Stamps. You rock. (Woo-hoo!) 8000+ people have read your story so far tonight. Death has struck you down, only to make you 20% cooler.


Doing my best Princess Twilight.
 
2013-03-12 06:32:27 AM  
www.global-air.com

"Write your own obituary! Far more important than your epitaph - let's face it, few will ever visit your grave - your obit is either your final whimper or your last hurrah. Write it the way you want to be remembered, not necessarily for churches you attended, but for your attendant graces and oddities, even the lessons of your life.". (new window)
 
2013-03-12 07:01:02 AM  

cgraves67: Bacon of the month club? I'm going to have to look into that.


It rocks...the wife got me a year's subscription a couple years ago.

However, I found a pound of bacon IS a bit much for one guy to get through (she's vegetarian), so I ended up freezing half every month, so it actually lasted two years.

/kind of like Chanukah
//with pork
 
2013-03-12 07:04:36 AM  
I'm not buying that someone who hated cats liked Hillary Clinton. Witches and cats just go together
 
2013-03-12 07:23:38 AM  
"He despised phonies..."

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-12 09:40:47 AM  
He taught them to fish, to select a quality hammer...

Ron Swanson died?
 
2013-03-12 10:31:57 AM  

PunGent: cgraves67: Bacon of the month club? I'm going to have to look into that.

It rocks...the wife got me a year's subscription a couple years ago.

However, I found a pound of bacon IS a bit much for one guy to get through (she's vegetarian), so I ended up freezing half every month, so it actually lasted two years.

/kind of like Chanukah
//with pork


A pound of bacon per month was too much for you? Turn in your man card now.
 
2013-03-12 11:16:25 AM  

jimpoz: He taught them to fish, to select a quality hammer...

Ron Swanson died?


Ron would teach 'em to fish WITH a hammer.
 
2013-03-12 11:46:00 AM  
What an embarrassment: an obituary that tries to hard to be 'cute'.

The one from last year was much better.

This one reads like it was aimed to get on TV.
 
2013-03-12 12:08:47 PM  

Mugato: Why does everyone hate Martha Stewart so much?


Seems like she's been trying to lighten up and be more human since getting out of the pen.

/with all the banking shenanigans involved in the home mortgage collapse, who did jail time?  No one.
 
2013-03-12 07:55:47 PM  

UtileDysfunktion: Mugato: Why does everyone hate Martha Stewart so much?

Seems like she's been trying to lighten up and be more human since getting out of the pen.

/with all the banking shenanigans involved in the home mortgage collapse, who did jail time?  No one.


I don't even know WTF insider trading is but she went in, did her time and probably taught her cellmates how to make some darling shiv-cozies.
 
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