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(Talking Points Memo)   NRA chief Wayne LaPierre's 336-page survival manual on sale for only $4.95. When society collapses, you'll be able to burn it for heat   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) divider line 42
    More: Stupid, Wayne LaPierre, NRA, WND, survival skills, organized crimes  
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6292 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2013 at 5:43 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-11 03:44:45 PM  
9 votes:
So what's on the other 335 pages after the first one just says "BUY MOAR GUNZ" written in his own poo?
2013-03-11 06:23:07 PM  
8 votes:
and its still a better love story then Twilight.
2013-03-11 06:19:22 PM  
5 votes:
Wow, a guy who has spent his entire adult life as a D.C. lobbyist wrote a survival guide?

That's going on my shelf, right in between "Nathan Lane's Guide to Picking Up Women" and "CrossFit with Dom DeLuise."
2013-03-11 04:54:46 PM  
5 votes:

Nadie_AZ: "this book is a must have for all families," Nelson wrote. "although Wayne LaPierre is not a survivalist he certainly fires on all cylinders in this must have book. how many people even think to carry water and food and maybe even clothing and blankets in their car trunks? when you are traveling across country what do you look for when pulling off the interstate in an unfamiliar city? what do you do if there is a knock on the door in the middle of the night with a stranger asking for help?"

Uh. I shoot them and claim a burglar was trying to break in .... cordially?


Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed shot me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?' And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'
2013-03-11 04:15:33 PM  
3 votes:

dittybopper: OH MY GOD!  It's *HORRIBLE* that he would write something like that!  The man is obviously an inhuman monster!


You have brilliantly ridiculed the thing that exists only in your head.
2013-03-11 04:12:54 PM  
3 votes:

dittybopper: OH MY GOD!  It's *HORRIBLE* that he would write something like that!  The man is obviously an inhuman monster!


No kidding! And subby not only wants to to grab guns but also burn books. Congrats, subby, you're Double Hitler.

Wayne LaPierre is a patriot doing his level best to educate people about the real world threats that necessitate large arsenals in every home.
Additionally, he's a strong advocate for ridding us of the scourge of violent video games -- the real cause of mass shootings.

You'd think everyone would be more grateful. It's truly sad he's so misunderstood.
2013-03-11 03:28:25 PM  
3 votes:
"this book is a must have for all families," Nelson wrote. "although Wayne LaPierre is not a survivalist he certainly fires on all cylinders in this must have book. how many people even think to carry water and food and maybe even clothing and blankets in their car trunks? when you are traveling across country what do you look for when pulling off the interstate in an unfamiliar city? what do you do if there is a knock on the door in the middle of the night with a stranger asking for help?"

Uh. I shoot them and claim a burglar was trying to break in .... cordially?
2013-03-11 09:49:56 PM  
2 votes:

cowgirl toffee: born_yesterday: cowgirl toffee: Does it give tips on how to drink your own pee?

Practice drinking your pee in non-emergency situations.  Substitute it for other things you would normally drink, like coffee or soda.  That way, when an emergency inevitably happens, you'll be the one relaxing with a nice tall glass of urine.

I haven't done that, but I have been substituting my manager's drink with my own piss. She will be fine.


img713.imageshack.us

Or, maybe they do.
2013-03-11 08:03:48 PM  
2 votes:

Secret Master of All Flatulence: CuttySupreme: Not a big suprise that the neck-bearded, liberal, obese, computer programmers of Fark don't take kindly to this news.

I hate to say it, but I only come here now when I want to see what people I largely don't respect are thinking.  It's like going to DU...it often leaves me feeling soiled after the fact.

BTW:  [i135.photobucket.com image 694x313]

I didn't pay over $100 for any of them.


Good, because "Remedies for Dogs and Cats" is worthless and Elizabeth Peters sucks as a writer.
2013-03-11 07:57:13 PM  
2 votes:

CuttySupreme: Not a big suprise that the neck-bearded, liberal, obese, computer programmers of Fark don't take kindly to this news.


Yup. He mad.
2013-03-11 07:04:59 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-03-11 06:26:19 PM  
2 votes:
Step 1. Only trust whitey.

Step 2. Only trust old whitey.

Step 3. Only trust old, Protestant whitey.

Step 4. Only trust old, Protestant, male whitey.

Step 5...
2013-03-11 06:10:41 PM  
2 votes:

MontanaDave: factoryconnection: Wayne LaPierre is better at his job than just about anyone is good at their job.  He gets people to join the NRA (adding customers), he gets people to buy guns and ammo (pleasing the advertisers) and he keeps the politicians in line (keeping customers and advertisers happy) and no matter what he says, more people sign up.

I'm not saying he's a good man, but he's a good salesman.  Maybe not a good book salesman, though.

This isn't about making money on book sales. It is all about generating leads.


These are the new leads. These are the NRA Survivalist leads. And to you they're gold, and you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you would be throwing them away. They're for closers.
2013-03-11 06:07:22 PM  
2 votes:

Gyrfalcon: when you are traveling across country what do you look for when pulling off the interstate in an unfamiliar city? what do you do if there is a knock on the door in the middle of the night with a stranger asking for help?"

Does it point out the obvious fact that if you pull off the interstate in an unfamiliar city, YOU will be the stranger knocking on the door in the middle of the night asking for help? These poor freaks are wildly missing the fact that they're treating everyone like crazed maniacs and thieves....but will someday need help from those same maniacs. And then what will they do?


Well they'll get the family out of the car and utilize the small unit tactics gone over in the manual. Kill the maniacal family living in that home and occupy the dwelling until rescue by fellow patriots or resources are depleted.
2013-03-11 06:01:41 PM  
2 votes:
If the future frightens you, shoot it.
2013-03-11 05:56:16 PM  
2 votes:
Wayne LaPierre is a front by the Obama junta to make patriotic Americans look crazy.  You can tell by his French name.  The regime tripped up on that one.  I am not fooled.

Ever vigilant.
2013-03-11 05:49:59 PM  
2 votes:
what do you look for when pulling off the interstate in an unfamiliar city?

Hookers and drugs.
2013-03-11 05:49:00 PM  
2 votes:

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: *covers the book with ranch dressing, promptly eats it*


If you were an NRA member, you'd just cover it with paste
2013-03-11 03:56:55 PM  
2 votes:
In a February op-ed, for instance, he raised the prospect of "terrorists, crime, drug gangs, the possibility of Euro-style debt riots, civil unrest or natural disaster" to bolster his arguments against any new federal gun control measures.

The first thing that happened in the "Euro-style debt riots" was the parasitic class raiding the rural family homes of producers, job creators and preppers, who'd had their firearms confiscated by the civil disarmament authorities.

Many people choose to ignore than. Not Wayne LaPierre.
2013-03-12 01:30:14 AM  
1 votes:

Coelacanth: CthulhuCalling: Coelacanth: CthulhuCalling: Coelacanth: Marcus Aurelius: We used to have REAL books when I was a kid.
[flag.blackened.net image 160x208]


I used to sell that thing when I was managing a bookstore a few decades ago. I swear that book is more dangerous than a helicopter of FBI snipers. I stopped selling it because I was afraid the family of some fool survivalist who blew himself up was going to sue me.
Before you buy a survival book, count how many fingers the author has. If he has less than ten, find another hobby.

The author of the books I read doesn't wear any shoes. Does that count?

Sounds like one of the Paladin Press guys.

Cody Lundin. He's like the polar opposite of those guys.

I hope so. Ever been to one of the Soldier of Fortune conventions here in Las Vegas? There used to be this one booth peddling books that had so many authors missing so many pieces between them that they could've built a new guy from all the castoffs.


I stopped going to the local gun shows a while ago. Apart from having everything except guns, the teabagger/doomsday prepper crowd just got a little too derpy for my tastes.
2013-03-11 11:55:23 PM  
1 votes:

Cpl.D: born_yesterday: Cpl.D: Dammit.  Wrong thread and forum.  Excuse me.  Jack Daniels sucks at proofreading.

Really?  It works pretty well here.

Inadvertent correctness is still wrong by proxy.


theinfosphere.org
2013-03-11 09:15:19 PM  
1 votes:

CuttySupreme: jaytkay: The_Sponge: what do you look for when pulling off the interstate in an unfamiliar city?

I look for Martin Luther King Blvd......and then I try to get away from that street as quickly as possible.

I wonder why gun enthusiasts have a reputation as frightened bedwetters?

I wonder why most gun grabbers have a reputation as ignorant pussies who think the world would magically be a better place if they could ban all guns.


Whoa, I hit a nerve.

Did I say frightened bedwetters?

Sorry. I meant overly emotional and fragile frightened bedwetters, seething with anger and lashing out at the slightest perceived provocation.
2013-03-11 08:52:43 PM  
1 votes:

rattchett: TheShavingofOccam123: Not_The_Target_Market: Car_Ramrod: MontanaDave: factoryconnection: Wayne LaPierre is better at his job than just about anyone is good at their job.  He gets people to join the NRA (adding customers), he gets people to buy guns and ammo (pleasing the advertisers) and he keeps the politicians in line (keeping customers and advertisers happy) and no matter what he says, more people sign up.

I'm not saying he's a good man, but he's a good salesman.  Maybe not a good book salesman, though.

This isn't about making money on book sales. It is all about generating leads.

The leads are weak.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x299]
Harriet and Blah-blah Nyborg....

I can't decide whether that is one of the greatest movies ever made or one of the worst. It obviously is a screenplay adapted from a stage play. But some of the acting is amazing. But some of the acting is atrocious. The problem is I have troubles deciding what the great acting is and what the terrible acting is.

Jack Lemmon was amazing. I just can't make up my mind about the rest of them. All right, Ed Harris was amazing in his nuance.

But Alec Baldwin? Dustin Hoffman? Alan Arkin? Kevin Spacey? I can't decide whether they're amazing or terrible.

Dustin Hoffman? It's not Death of a farking Salesman.

Or is it?

Also, the leads aren't weak. You're farking weak.


You're right. That was Al Pacino. But I think Pacino did his best work years earlier.

3.bp.blogspot.com
"I think you're trying to seduce me, Mrs. Nyborg."
2013-03-11 08:49:20 PM  
1 votes:

Shirley Ujest: born_yesterday: cowgirl toffee: Does it give tips on how to drink your own pee?

Practice drinking your pee in non-emergency situations.  Substitute it for other things you would normally drink, like coffee or soda.  That way, when an emergency inevitably happens, you'll be the one relaxing with a nice tall glass of urine.

Does vodak mix well with urine?


If you use enough, it doesn't matter.
2013-03-11 08:40:42 PM  
1 votes:

Ablejack: How do you to stop a bad guy with book?!


The bible stops people from thinking.
2013-03-11 08:39:46 PM  
1 votes:

jaytkay: The_Sponge: what do you look for when pulling off the interstate in an unfamiliar city?

I look for Martin Luther King Blvd......and then I try to get away from that street as quickly as possible.

I wonder why gun enthusiasts have a reputation as frightened bedwetters?


I wonder why most gun grabbers have a reputation as ignorant pussies who think the world would magically be a better place if they could ban all guns.
2013-03-11 07:30:06 PM  
1 votes:

IgG4: TP for my pit latrine


upload.wikimedia.org
TP for my bunghole.

/are you threatening me??!
2013-03-11 06:51:30 PM  
1 votes:
Well, it's nice to have a source of kindling when you're cooking the douchebag next door that didn't like guns....
2013-03-11 06:34:15 PM  
1 votes:
We used to have REAL books when I was a kid.
flag.blackened.net
2013-03-11 06:34:15 PM  
1 votes:

Rapmaster2000: what do you look for when pulling off the interstate in an unfamiliar city?

Hookers and drugs.


Ah, a "When in Rome" type eh?
2013-03-11 06:30:14 PM  
1 votes:
How do you to stop a bad guy with book?!
2013-03-11 06:26:51 PM  
1 votes:

stuhayes2010: So, 336 pages of stuff you can buy from the NRA?


enry: So what's on the other 335 pages after the first one just says "BUY MOAR GUNZ" written in his own poo?


Page 2. Better drink your own piss.
2013-03-11 06:23:49 PM  
1 votes:

BumpInTheNight: and its still a better love story then Twilight.



I LOL'd.
2013-03-11 06:07:23 PM  
1 votes:
Miss me yet?

img2-1.timeinc.net
2013-03-11 06:06:39 PM  
1 votes:
"when you are traveling across country what do you look for when pulling off the interstate in an unfamiliar city?"

Um, when I've driven across country, I've planned ahead and made a reservation at a hotel and scoped out a good restaurant. Or if I change my location last minute, like when I decided to drive a little further across northeastern Utah, I Google mapped some reliable chains. There, gimme $5.
2013-03-11 06:04:57 PM  
1 votes:
what do you look for when pulling off the interstate in an unfamiliar city?

I look for Martin Luther King Blvd......and then I try to get away from that street as quickly as possible.
2013-03-11 05:55:10 PM  
1 votes:
i48.tinypic.com

But is it in braille?
2013-03-11 05:46:12 PM  
1 votes:
*covers the book with ranch dressing, promptly eats it*
2013-03-11 04:44:38 PM  
1 votes:
chapter 6: kill all the darkies.
2013-03-11 04:26:03 PM  
1 votes:

mysticcat: I especially like the part that warns against vaccinations, which are actually the government's way of injecting tracking devices into your children.


I wish.
2013-03-11 04:13:42 PM  
1 votes:
TP for my pit latrine
2013-03-11 03:50:51 PM  
1 votes:
Currently on the best seller list at #45

/with a bullet
 
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