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(Talking Points Memo)   NRA chief Wayne LaPierre's 336-page survival manual on sale for only $4.95. When society collapses, you'll be able to burn it for heat   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) divider line 251
    More: Stupid, Wayne LaPierre, NRA, WND, survival skills, organized crimes  
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6289 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2013 at 5:43 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-11 08:35:26 PM

Ablejack: How do you to stop a bad guy with book?!


Have him hold the book on his chest and shoot a .45 through it?

Flamethrower?

Grabbing at straws...
 
2013-03-11 08:37:38 PM
Does it give tips on how to drink your own pee?
 
2013-03-11 08:37:50 PM

Secret Master of All Flatulence: CuttySupreme: Not a big suprise that the neck-bearded, liberal, obese, computer programmers of Fark don't take kindly to this news.

I hate to say it, but I only come here now when I want to see what people I largely don't respect are thinking.  It's like going to DU...it often leaves me feeling soiled after the fact.

BTW:  [i135.photobucket.com image 694x313]

I didn't pay over $100 for any of them.


Fark isn't quite as bad as DU, but it's close.  Most people here would suck King Obama off if they got the chance.
 
2013-03-11 08:38:08 PM
According to WND, "Safe" teaches readers how to prepare for floods, fire, hurricanes, tornadoes, "and more."

Chapter 1: Floods. If a flood happens, shoot it.
Chapter 2: Fire. If you are ever in a fire, shoot it.
Chapter 3: Hurricanes. Should a hurricane violate your home, shoot it.

and so on.
 
2013-03-11 08:39:38 PM

Ablejack: How do you to stop a bad guy with book?!


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-11 08:39:46 PM

jaytkay: The_Sponge: what do you look for when pulling off the interstate in an unfamiliar city?

I look for Martin Luther King Blvd......and then I try to get away from that street as quickly as possible.

I wonder why gun enthusiasts have a reputation as frightened bedwetters?


I wonder why most gun grabbers have a reputation as ignorant pussies who think the world would magically be a better place if they could ban all guns.
 
2013-03-11 08:40:12 PM
If the majority want to be safe just bring back slavery.

Problem solved.
 
2013-03-11 08:40:24 PM
Not much changes 'round these parts.
 
2013-03-11 08:40:42 PM

Ablejack: How do you to stop a bad guy with book?!


The bible stops people from thinking.
 
2013-03-11 08:40:48 PM
Quantum Apostrophe:

Right, right, but waiting for the asteroids to come and hoping we're going to build colonies on the Moon make perfect sense though.

You should care more about this, since you're going to live a million years.

Right after those pills you said you were going to take to fix your failing eyesight.
 
2013-03-11 08:43:37 PM

jaytkay: The_Sponge: what do you look for when pulling off the interstate in an unfamiliar city?

I look for Martin Luther King Blvd......and then I try to get away from that street as quickly as possible.

I wonder why gun enthusiasts have a reputation as frightened bedwetters?


MLK blvd
 
2013-03-11 08:44:31 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-11 08:46:43 PM

cowgirl toffee: Does it give tips on how to drink your own pee?


Practice drinking your pee in non-emergency situations.  Substitute it for other things you would normally drink, like coffee or soda.  That way, when an emergency inevitably happens, you'll be the one relaxing with a nice tall glass of urine.
 
2013-03-11 08:47:47 PM

Secret Master of All Flatulence: Tenga: whither_apophis: The guy is turning onto Wes from "The Survivors" more and more everyday.

You think Wayne is God!

Lots of people here seem to think he's Satan.


Mmmmmyyyeah. I'm thinking more "P.T. Barnum".
 
2013-03-11 08:48:28 PM

born_yesterday: cowgirl toffee: Does it give tips on how to drink your own pee?

Practice drinking your pee in non-emergency situations.  Substitute it for other things you would normally drink, like coffee or soda.  That way, when an emergency inevitably happens, you'll be the one relaxing with a nice tall glass of urine.


Does vodak mix well with urine?
 
2013-03-11 08:49:20 PM

Shirley Ujest: born_yesterday: cowgirl toffee: Does it give tips on how to drink your own pee?

Practice drinking your pee in non-emergency situations.  Substitute it for other things you would normally drink, like coffee or soda.  That way, when an emergency inevitably happens, you'll be the one relaxing with a nice tall glass of urine.

Does vodak mix well with urine?


If you use enough, it doesn't matter.
 
2013-03-11 08:49:25 PM

CuttySupreme: jaytkay: The_Sponge: what do you look for when pulling off the interstate in an unfamiliar city?

I look for Martin Luther King Blvd......and then I try to get away from that street as quickly as possible.

I wonder why gun enthusiasts have a reputation as frightened bedwetters?

I wonder why most gun grabbers have a reputation as ignorant pussies who think the world would magically be a better place if they could ban all guns.


I wonder why you non-sequitured into a fabricated strawman argument when confronted with your reputation for cowardliness.
 
2013-03-11 08:50:16 PM

jso2897: Shirley Ujest: born_yesterday: cowgirl toffee: Does it give tips on how to drink your own pee?

Practice drinking your pee in non-emergency situations.  Substitute it for other things you would normally drink, like coffee or soda.  That way, when an emergency inevitably happens, you'll be the one relaxing with a nice tall glass of urine.

Does vodak mix well with urine?

If you use enough, it doesn't matter.


What kind of glass should I use?
 
2013-03-11 08:52:43 PM

rattchett: TheShavingofOccam123: Not_The_Target_Market: Car_Ramrod: MontanaDave: factoryconnection: Wayne LaPierre is better at his job than just about anyone is good at their job.  He gets people to join the NRA (adding customers), he gets people to buy guns and ammo (pleasing the advertisers) and he keeps the politicians in line (keeping customers and advertisers happy) and no matter what he says, more people sign up.

I'm not saying he's a good man, but he's a good salesman.  Maybe not a good book salesman, though.

This isn't about making money on book sales. It is all about generating leads.

The leads are weak.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x299]
Harriet and Blah-blah Nyborg....

I can't decide whether that is one of the greatest movies ever made or one of the worst. It obviously is a screenplay adapted from a stage play. But some of the acting is amazing. But some of the acting is atrocious. The problem is I have troubles deciding what the great acting is and what the terrible acting is.

Jack Lemmon was amazing. I just can't make up my mind about the rest of them. All right, Ed Harris was amazing in his nuance.

But Alec Baldwin? Dustin Hoffman? Alan Arkin? Kevin Spacey? I can't decide whether they're amazing or terrible.

Dustin Hoffman? It's not Death of a farking Salesman.

Or is it?

Also, the leads aren't weak. You're farking weak.


You're right. That was Al Pacino. But I think Pacino did his best work years earlier.

3.bp.blogspot.com
"I think you're trying to seduce me, Mrs. Nyborg."
 
2013-03-11 08:58:22 PM

Hickory-smoked: [i.imgur.com image 512x750]


Actually, around here, being armed goes with the job description.  Of course, that's a "tool of intimidation" and not for "self-defense"...which explains how cops came to be armed in the first place...because, as agents of the State, they didn't give up their personal right to be armed.
 
2013-03-11 08:59:37 PM

Secret Master of All Flatulence: Takeshi6400: I've never quite understood this American obsession with preparing for impending disaster.  I've never seen it in another country.  I've met educated, rational people who have thousands of rounds of ammunition and months supplies of food for some massive disaster.  I know we all watch The Walking Dead and think, "that would be awesome," but it's not going to happen.

It's a good investment.  On the day that the Sandy Hook Massacre happened, the value of my stockpiled ammo went up an insane amount.  Hell, you can't even get ammo COMPONENTS now.  Six cents for a fecking PRIMER???

/wishes he was joking...


So cash in.  Sell everything you've got, now that the market is high.  Then... sit on your hands for a year... and wen prices are back down to normal, buy an equivalent amount of ammo or components or whatever gun-nut stuff it is you collect.  Then you have extra money left over, having exploited the short-term bubble in ammo (or whatever) components.

Do it.  Be a business man.
 
2013-03-11 09:08:59 PM
Step 1: Identify any individuals who own this sort of book. They have the highest probability of being a threat to your survival. Kill them in their sleep.
 
2013-03-11 09:14:16 PM
how many people even think to carry water and food and maybe even clothing and blankets in their car trunks?

Christ this has been Page 1 of the AAA Safe Driving manual for 50 years.
 
2013-03-11 09:15:19 PM

CuttySupreme: jaytkay: The_Sponge: what do you look for when pulling off the interstate in an unfamiliar city?

I look for Martin Luther King Blvd......and then I try to get away from that street as quickly as possible.

I wonder why gun enthusiasts have a reputation as frightened bedwetters?

I wonder why most gun grabbers have a reputation as ignorant pussies who think the world would magically be a better place if they could ban all guns.


Whoa, I hit a nerve.

Did I say frightened bedwetters?

Sorry. I meant overly emotional and fragile frightened bedwetters, seething with anger and lashing out at the slightest perceived provocation.
 
2013-03-11 09:19:40 PM
1. Smash fly with book
2. Eat fly
/Can't wait to see the Amazon reviews after this hit reddit or 4chan
 
2013-03-11 09:23:50 PM

born_yesterday: cowgirl toffee: Does it give tips on how to drink your own pee?

Practice drinking your pee in non-emergency situations.  Substitute it for other things you would normally drink, like coffee or soda.  That way, when an emergency inevitably happens, you'll be the one relaxing with a nice tall glass of urine.


I haven't done that, but I have been substituting my manager's drink with my own piss. She will be fine.
 
2013-03-11 09:30:34 PM
What percentage of people in this blog can even handle a gun properly, or own more than one?

Yep, that's what I thought.
 
2013-03-11 09:35:41 PM
Damn you Holn LaPierre!
 
2013-03-11 09:40:28 PM

wingding: jso2897: There are fools.
There are damn fools.
And then, there are "survivalists".*


* Exempition granted to the 1% who are legitimate outdoorsmen.

Then there are the fat pigs who run to the goverment shelters when the shiat hits the fan.


I'll be riding, courtesy of the Scooter Store(tm) and medicaid, thank you very much. And, you can say fat, but truth is I'm just big boned.
 
2013-03-11 09:47:09 PM

Dellirium: Quantum Apostrophe: Right, right, but waiting for the asteroids to come and hoping we're going to build colonies on the Moon make perfect sense though.

What if the asteroid hits the moon, instead?


farm2.static.flickr.com
 
2013-03-11 09:49:56 PM

cowgirl toffee: born_yesterday: cowgirl toffee: Does it give tips on how to drink your own pee?

Practice drinking your pee in non-emergency situations.  Substitute it for other things you would normally drink, like coffee or soda.  That way, when an emergency inevitably happens, you'll be the one relaxing with a nice tall glass of urine.

I haven't done that, but I have been substituting my manager's drink with my own piss. She will be fine.


img713.imageshack.us

Or, maybe they do.
 
2013-03-11 09:59:40 PM

enik: I'd rather have Wayne LaPierre as a neighbor when the shiat goes down than any of you neckbearded beta males. That six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon in your fridge won't go very far.


It will when I brew more beer.
 
2013-03-11 10:01:43 PM

CuttySupreme: Not a big suprise that the neck-bearded, liberal, obese, computer programmers of Fark don't take kindly to this news.


Who you calling liberal?
 
2013-03-11 10:11:20 PM
As an avid sports shooter (not a hunter) Wayne LaPierre was the sole reason that I let 20 years of NRA membership lapse.  This was 5-6 years ago, I couldn't take this jackass telling me how to vote to support HIS personal beliefs, nothing more.  That and the magazines were so shiatty, they weren't even worth half of the membership fee.  Once upon a time, the benefits were worth the price alone.  Then the price was to help support the cause.  Later, I didn't want to support HIS personal causes.
 
2013-03-11 10:12:29 PM

bmihura: What percentage of people in this blog can even handle a gun properly, or own more than one?

Yep, that's what I thought.


You know what I hate?
Rhetorical questions.
 
2013-03-11 10:17:09 PM

MylesHeartVodak: As an avid sports shooter (not a hunter) Wayne LaPierre was the sole reason that I let 20 years of NRA membership lapse.  This was 5-6 years ago, I couldn't take this jackass telling me how to vote to support HIS personal beliefs, nothing more.  That and the magazines were so shiatty, they weren't even worth half of the membership fee.  Once upon a time, the benefits were worth the price alone.  Then the price was to help support the cause.  Later, I didn't want to support HIS personal causes.


Long. LONG ago I was a youth member - I was into hunting and outdoor stuff in general, and that was what they were about.
Then, in the late sixties, they started morphing into the John Birch Society with Guns, and I took a fast fade.
 
2013-03-11 10:19:59 PM
Please don't.

If society collapses and you have to use books for kindling, start with the tax code section at the library.
 
2013-03-11 10:20:40 PM
I'd rather follow his lead:

i172.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-11 10:22:17 PM

Digitalstrange: FlashHarry: chapter 6: kill all the darkies.

Of course he would never say anything like that. Urban youth is the current euphemism. It eliminates the mention of color directly to allow denial



Works for the media.
 
2013-03-11 10:22:19 PM

MylesHeartVodak: As an avid sports shooter (not a hunter) Wayne LaPierre was the sole reason that I let 20 years of NRA membership lapse.  This was 5-6 years ago, I couldn't take this jackass telling me how to vote to support HIS personal beliefs, nothing more.  That and the magazines were so shiatty, they weren't even worth half of the membership fee.  Once upon a time, the benefits were worth the price alone.  Then the price was to help support the cause.  Later, I didn't want to support HIS personal causes.


Like the NRA or not, they're the only organization powerful enough to protect our gun rights.
 
2013-03-11 10:22:57 PM

Omahawg: [upload.wikimedia.org image 200x312]


Thanks for that. I was wondering if I was the only one who thought that Wayne looks a bit like William Pierce....
 
2013-03-11 10:26:26 PM

Marcus Aurelius: We used to have REAL books when I was a kid.
[flag.blackened.net image 160x208]


What I find most fascinating about this is that the author, William Powell, has a post on Amazon urging people NOT to buy his book.... Rather rare....
 
2013-03-11 10:31:48 PM

Not_The_Target_Market: Marcus Aurelius: We used to have REAL books when I was a kid.
[flag.blackened.net image 160x208]

What I find most fascinating about this is that the author, William Powell, has a post on Amazon urging people NOT to buy his book.... Rather rare....



www.booksarepeopletoo.com

Rare? Perhaps.

Original? No.
 
2013-03-11 10:32:25 PM

CuttySupreme: MylesHeartVodak: As an avid sports shooter (not a hunter) Wayne LaPierre was the sole reason that I let 20 years of NRA membership lapse.  This was 5-6 years ago, I couldn't take this jackass telling me how to vote to support HIS personal beliefs, nothing more.  That and the magazines were so shiatty, they weren't even worth half of the membership fee.  Once upon a time, the benefits were worth the price alone.  Then the price was to help support the cause.  Later, I didn't want to support HIS personal causes.

Like the NRA or not, they're the only organization powerful enough to protect our gun rights.


If only they didn't send out 6 letters or phonecalls from the ILA a month, during every election cycle.  That was pretty much when I stopped - don't try to tell me who to vote for in any election.  That sort of absolute fearmongering struck a wrong chord.  I can always have a boating accident if anything needs to disappear.  The NRA stopped supporting sportsmen years ago.  Notice the PIP/ADD insurance some time.  Compare it to 20 years ago.  They only cover injury if it's at an official NRA function.  It used to be for anything, ever.  A minor money-saving quibble, but it's indicative.
 
2013-03-11 10:41:45 PM

Not_The_Target_Market: Marcus Aurelius: We used to have REAL books when I was a kid.
[flag.blackened.net image 160x208]

What I find most fascinating about this is that the author, William Powell, has a post on Amazon urging people NOT to buy his book.... Rather rare....


Huh.  Sounds like he really regrets it.
 
2013-03-11 10:47:39 PM
Idiots.  This whole farce is a manufactured controversy.   "Oooh, Obama is going to take our guns!"  "Oooh, Obama is tearing up the constitution!"  "Oooh, Obama is going to let the UN invade Texas and install election overwatchers who will actually throw things for Obama because he can't win Ohio!"  I've heard that shiat over and over and over again and it's so damned tiresome.  Never mind that none of this shiat ever actually happens.

What DOES happen, though, is the usual people come along, dropping all the handy buzzwords that get your jingoism and paranoia on high alert, and you rush to do whatever it is they need you to do.  Your training has been so damned Pavlovian that I'm amazed that none of you ever stopped to notice that you all drool on queue.  You're not the "defenders of liberty", you're not the "protectors of the sanctity of marriage", and you sure as hell not the voice of reason.  I wouldn't trust you to even make sure an innocent kid could walk down the street with a can of tea and a bag of skittles could make it two blocks without dying.

No, what you are is fertile soil.  The people who manipulate you rip you apart, line you up in nice neat little rows, fill you full of so much shiat that your family gives up on you.  And then when you're nice and isolated, they start injecting you with seeds of stupidity, conspiracy, and ignorance.  And when it's time to reap that harvest, you fools cheer the arrival of the combine.  You are are the basis of a callous industry.  And you have no idea!  You're nothing more than a windfall for those smarter than you.  A broken one-armed bandit that always pays out because the wheels always line up with DERP DERP DERP.

The end of this country isn't gonna be because Obama fiddled while the country burned.  The end of the country isn't going to be because someone you voted into office decided that maybe giving up high capacity mags full of hydroshocks is a good trade for the life of at least one child.  The end of the country isn't going to happen because Ed and Ned down the street decided to wear white during their wedding.   Nope, the end will come when a bunch of jingoist ignorant twelfth-century reenactors suddenly wanted to know if history does in fact repeat itself.  The collapse will come under metric tons of willful ignorance.  And you fools will cheer it.

You farking disgust me.
 
2013-03-11 10:48:59 PM
Dammit.  Wrong thread and forum.  Excuse me.  Jack Daniels sucks at proofreading.
 
2013-03-11 10:59:35 PM
I bet the thing doesn't burn at all, or else he'd finally be good for something other than a laugh.
 
2013-03-11 11:01:29 PM

MontanaDave: factoryconnection: Wayne LaPierre is better at his job than just about anyone is good at their job.  He gets people to join the NRA (adding customers), he gets people to buy guns and ammo (pleasing the advertisers) and he keeps the politicians in line (keeping customers and advertisers happy) and no matter what he says, more people sign up.

I'm not saying he's a good man, but he's a good salesman.  Maybe not a good book salesman, though.

This isn't about making money on book sales. It is all about generating leads.


Bingo. Sign up for this book and you'll start getting emails trying to sell you homeschooling books, subscriptions to religious magazines, and pump & dump worthless gold stocks.
 
2013-03-11 11:04:03 PM

Cpl.D: Dammit.  Wrong thread and forum.  Excuse me.  Jack Daniels sucks at proofreading.


Really?  It works pretty well here.
 
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