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(US News)   'Fifty Shades' author to publish writing guide. This is like Nickelback offering piano lessons   (usnews.com) divider line 14
    More: Stupid, Nickelback  
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626 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Mar 2013 at 12:06 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-11 12:31:46 PM
9 votes:
"Within no time, I could feel the shiatty magician's wax oozing from my soft tight anus and all over my clap flaps. Hours of farking like this would leave any girl's fishy flaps looking like a ripped out fireplace, and I was no different! The slamming makes me pour my sex wee all over his ramrod. He munched on my spam castanets, even though I'd had the painters in for the best part of a week. Inserting a footlong fudge bullet into my clunge pool got me splurging spaff faster than a greased weasel shiat."
2013-03-11 12:22:55 PM
3 votes:
Some of you more literary types should take note that some of your favorite authors were despised while they were alive. A true merit of a writer is how well the works stand up after they are dead. I think 50 Shades has the staying power to be part of the culture for years to come. In fact, I think it will be noted as a defining moment in literature, along the lines of the Hemingway and Kerouac.
2013-03-11 12:23:54 PM
2 votes:

Gifted Many Few: Some of you more literary types should take note that some of your favorite authors were despised while they were alive. A true merit of a writer is how well the works stand up after they are dead. I think 50 Shades has the staying power to be part of the culture for years to come. In fact, I think it will be noted as a defining moment in literature, along the lines of the Hemingway and Kerouac.


8/10

If you get a bite the score shall be re-evaluated. It's still a great attempt regardless.
2013-03-11 12:15:24 PM
2 votes:
Well, her target audience can't read and she can't write so it's kind of perfect.
2013-03-12 12:47:44 AM
1 votes:

XMark: I haven't read it, but I know it started as a Twilight fan-fiction and later had its Twilight connections removed for the official published version.

The internet is practically inundated with thousands upon thousands of horrible erotic Twilight fanfics. There's something to be said about how one managed to stand out above the rest. It must be good in some way or another. I'll never know, though.


It was the world's tallest midget, apparently.
2013-03-11 08:19:06 PM
1 votes:
My old go-to for Fifty Shades threads was the clip of Gilbert Gottfried reading it.

Until I found this...Six Grown Men Read Fifty Shades of Grey

The sadly ironic part is that you can make any over-the-top voice read it and it's still just as awful, but at least it's funny when Zoidberg does it.
2013-03-11 04:56:51 PM
1 votes:
Fifty shades is just a mark on the meter when I date a new girl.
If she says, Oh, did you ever read fifty shades of gray?
It's like a lot lower on the "will date again " meter than if she says, "Did you see "the secretary"?"
which is lower than if she asks, "Did you ever read Rice's Beauty series?"
Which is lower than if she just farking leans over the damned dinner table, drips wax from the candle on her wrists, and says, "Would you like to know what my safe word is?"

Because, I'm not going to waste my time with a freaking tourist.
2013-03-11 02:46:36 PM
1 votes:
1. Take something popular.
2. Make the same thing, but put a lotta sex in it.
3. Profit.


Hey, this reads like the "How to Make a Porno" book for some reason.
2013-03-11 02:31:02 PM
1 votes:
I don't know. On the one hand, producing masses of the literary equivalent of cheap cheeseburgers for millions of consumers seems attractive, given the financial rewards. On the other, writing it must feel a little like taking your clothes off for money and lying prone while choking back tears, hoping you won't end up with a neurological disease later in life.
2013-03-11 12:23:51 PM
1 votes:

Strategeryz0r: Phase 1: Write erotic fan fiction based on a story that's so poorly written there's nowhere to go but up.
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: Profit!


This. Twilight is the only book I've ever read that made me angry at myself for having read it.
2013-03-11 12:17:24 PM
1 votes:
Phase 1: Write erotic fan fiction based on a story that's so poorly written there's nowhere to go but up.
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: Profit!
2013-03-11 12:13:56 PM
1 votes:
Headline made me cringe, subby. Good job.
2013-03-11 11:59:37 AM
1 votes:
...and those who can't - teach.
2013-03-11 11:45:49 AM
1 votes:
My inner goddess simply cannot hold back her elation at the thought of improving her writing skills!

fark.
 
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