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(Gawker)   Student banned from carrying guinea pig on college campus receives $40,000 settlement. Your dog made a Richard Gere joke   (gawker.com ) divider line
    More: Weird, Grand Valley State University, Kendra Velzen, students  
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5611 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2013 at 10:14 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-11 09:18:36 AM  
better sew an American flag on your bathing suit so Navy patrol boats don't open fire
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-11 09:30:08 AM  
The feds recently rewrote ADA regulations to prevent claiming anything other than a dog or a horse as a service animal. Because of stunts like this.
 
2013-03-11 09:31:09 AM  
Velzen, who suffers from depression

Unfortunately, the only thing that helps with my depression is a full-grown puma.
 
2013-03-11 09:37:08 AM  
She should get a bottle of Zoloft.  It will last longer than a guinea pig.
 
2013-03-11 10:09:44 AM  
If you acknowledge an animal as a therapy animal you really can't turn around and ban it willy-nilly. It either is or it isn't.
 
2013-03-11 10:22:26 AM  
Sweet so like a one year scholarship?
 
2013-03-11 10:27:01 AM  
What's a 28 year old doing still living in student housing?
 
2013-03-11 10:27:09 AM  
Subby...Gere made happy time with gerbils, no guinea pigs.  If you are putting a guinea pig up there, you probably also need a colostomy bag.
 
2013-03-11 10:27:34 AM  
i253.photobucket.com

Pecos Filbert and Popcorn are my service critters. The service they provide? WESTERN JUSTICE.
 
2013-03-11 10:31:13 AM  

Sybarite: Velzen, who suffers from depression

Unfortunately, the only thing that helps with my depression is a full-grown puma.


Then to really manage you should probably have two.
 
2013-03-11 10:31:40 AM  
This is just more silly sghit that adds to the cost of that piece of paper. She should be shamed by fellow students on campus... and by the first keg
 
2013-03-11 10:32:45 AM  
Good for her. Allowing an animal to run her life and not deal with her own issues. I'm sure she will make a valued addition to any workforce. Unless of course the rodent dies, then there will be a 6 month period of mourning which involves flailing and Gregorian chants. Then, of course, she will need to take time off to train her new service animal. But after that, model employee...for about 6 months.
 
2013-03-11 10:38:06 AM  
Since she's basically outed herself as completely and utterly unemployable, she'd better find a way to make that $40,000 last a loooooong time.
 
2013-03-11 10:40:26 AM  
Will she bring the guinea pig to an interview if she leaves the world of academia?  Will she need to have it at her workplace?
 
2013-03-11 10:40:33 AM  

WhippingBoy: Since she's basically outed herself as completely and utterly unemployable, she'd better find a way to make that $40,000 last a loooooong time.


This.  I'm sure when any potential employer runs a google search and sees this article, they'll come up with a nice, legal reason as to why some other candidate is better qualified.
 
2013-03-11 10:40:35 AM  
She should go to the Democratic Republic of Gerbilistan.
 
2013-03-11 10:43:43 AM  

devildog123: WhippingBoy: Since she's basically outed herself as completely and utterly unemployable, she'd better find a way to make that $40,000 last a loooooong time.

This.  I'm sure when any potential employer runs a google search and sees this article, they'll come up with a nice, legal reason as to why some other candidate is better qualified.


Who are we kidding? I seriously doubt her plans have ever included "being gainfully employed". She's likely just more useless flotsam planning to nurse at the teat of Uncle Sucker for the rest of her life.
 
2013-03-11 10:44:35 AM  
As a result of the settlement, the school will collaborate with the Fair Housing Center of West Michigan to create a campus police addressing assistance animals.

Hi, Mr. Journalist? Contrary to your apparent belief, "police" and "policy" are not both pronounced "pol-i-see".
 
2013-03-11 10:47:35 AM  
Nice. When I go for my doctorate in a couple years, I'm going to bring a capybara on a leash.
 
2013-03-11 10:48:15 AM  

WhippingBoy: Who are we kidding? I seriously doubt her plans have ever included "being gainfully employed". She's likely just more useless flotsam planning to nurse at the teat of Uncle Sucker for the rest of her life.


Maybe she is looking at a job that she can do from home. Telemarketer, phone sex operator, or journalist.
 
2013-03-11 10:51:50 AM  

Gifted Many Few: WhippingBoy: Who are we kidding? I seriously doubt her plans have ever included "being gainfully employed". She's likely just more useless flotsam planning to nurse at the teat of Uncle Sucker for the rest of her life.

Maybe she is looking at a job that she can do from home. Telemarketer, phone sex operator, or journalist.


I'm pretty sure she's taking the "attempt to sue anyone who offends me" career path. Unfortunately, I don't think she's though her cunning plan all the way through.

But yeah, I suspect a "career" as a "Social Justice Blogger" is in her future.
 
2013-03-11 10:52:07 AM  
Great!  Does this mean I can bring my emotional support goat and service pelican?

smodcast.com
 
2013-03-11 10:56:24 AM  
I need a therapy swimsuit model.
 
2013-03-11 10:59:06 AM  
 the guinea pig (named, by the way)  "provide[d] her with emotional support

If a rodent provides you with emotional support then a plush toy ought to do the trick.
 
2013-03-11 11:05:36 AM  
But Evertime the bell would ring
You'd catch me playing with my ding-a-ling
 
2013-03-11 11:19:11 AM  

Theaetetus: As a result of the settlement, the school will collaborate with the Fair Housing Center of West Michigan to create a campus police addressing assistance animals.

Hi, Mr. Journalist? Contrary to your apparent belief, "police" and "policy" are not both pronounced "pol-i-see".


Actually, the campus police are being informed as to the polite names with which to address the various service animals.
 
ows
2013-03-11 11:39:51 AM  
boy, that college needs a new lawyer.
 
2013-03-11 11:50:22 AM  
and
 
2013-03-11 12:03:49 PM  
Wow if I had only known I would have kept bring Pudge with me to uni.

Pudge being the escaped research rat that randomly ran up my girlfriend's leg whilst we were walking to uni. Thought it was a mouse at first (oh how cute) but enjoyed a few years of his nibbling (mostly my books). Oh and lending him out to my uncle for stud purposes. I am pretty sure he had bonuses in the Luck stat.
 
2013-03-11 12:11:46 PM  
28 years old. 23 years of school and all she knows how to do is cry, talk to pigs, and sue the people who taught her. Great.
 
2013-03-11 12:24:34 PM  
subby, I laughed
 
2013-03-11 12:26:17 PM  
Rambo gerbil goes in after the ones you can't get out.


drawception.com
 
2013-03-11 01:15:34 PM  
Isn't a guinea pig like one of the worst animals to help you with depression and bond with? I mean they live like two years and if they hibernate you might accidentally bury them alive, learn this later and realized you killed your pet.
 
2013-03-11 01:43:19 PM  
this might be why college grads are treated like high school grads
you need a degree to flip burgers now
show and tell ended in kindergarten, get over it!
 
2013-03-11 01:55:07 PM  

ginandbacon: If you acknowledge an animal as a therapy animal you really can't turn around and ban it willy-nilly. It either is or it isn't.


Herein lies the problem. This.us more skin to breach of contract than an ADA violation
 
2013-03-11 02:09:15 PM  

Maggie_Luna: Isn't a guinea pig like one of the worst animals to help you with depression and bond with? I mean they live like two years and if they hibernate you might accidentally bury them alive, learn this later and realized you killed your pet.


I think that's hamsters that hibernate. Guinea pigs don't hibernate, and can live 5-10 years.
 
2013-03-11 02:11:39 PM  
Nice - I would also have accepted a Quagmire reference

/Peter, get your falcon off me!!
 
2013-03-11 02:47:00 PM  

ZAZ: The feds recently rewrote ADA regulations to prevent claiming anything other than a dog or a horse as a service animal. Because of stunts like this.


Citation please? Monkeys as service animals are entirely legit and I'll wager there are some other common ones.
 
2013-03-11 02:51:48 PM  
Service Animals. The rule defines "service animal" as a dog that has been individually trained to do work or perform tasks for the benefit of an individual with a disability. The rule states that other animals, whether wild or domestic, do not qualify as service animals. Dogs that are not trained to perform tasks that mitigate the effects of a disability, including dogs that are used purely for emotional support, are not service animals. The final rule also clarifies that individuals with mental disabilities who use service animals that are trained to perform a specific task are protected by the ADA. The rule permits the use of trained miniature horses as alternatives to dogs, subject to certain limitations. To allow flexibility in situations where using a horse would not be appropriate, the final rule does not include miniature horses in the definition of "service animal."

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1782205&page=15
 
2013-03-11 02:52:31 PM  
 
2013-03-11 03:03:28 PM  

JDJoeE: oops

http://www.ada.gov/regs2010/factsheets/title2_factsheet.html



Nice response time. Thanks.

At least I now have an idea for my evening's entertainment, a la Stephen King.
 
2013-03-11 03:09:53 PM  

Pangea: JDJoeE: oops

http://www.ada.gov/regs2010/factsheets/title2_factsheet.html


Nice response time. Thanks.

At least I now have an idea for my evening's entertainment, a la Stephen King.


It's still complicated.

http://www.ada.gov/service_animals_2010.htm

"This definition does not affect or limit the broader definition of "assistance animal" under the Fair Housing Act or the broader definition of "service animal" under the Air Carrier Access Act.
Some State and local laws also define service animal more broadly than the ADA does. Information about such laws can be obtained from the State attorney general's office."
 
2013-03-11 03:51:18 PM  
This reminds me of a longstanding inside  joke between a few of my co-workers.  We would like to go to a job interview, all decked out in a suit well-groomed etc. nail the interview and get hired.  First day of work we show up in ass less chaps a lisp and a pet Neutria.

/i guess you had to be there.
 
2013-03-11 04:15:42 PM  
Sigh, I miss Daisy, and her squeals whenever someone would open the crisper in the fridge.
 
2013-03-11 04:32:09 PM  

JohnCarter: Will she bring the guinea pig to an interview if she leaves the world of academia?  Will she need to have it at her workplace?


She won't be the first Sandra the Weirdo from Accounts.

/Just spent half an hour trying to find an Australian PSA which I'm pretty sure featured Sandra the Psycho from Accounts. She doesn't like being called that. Just as well she isn't.
 
2013-03-11 05:26:28 PM  
Boo, just looking for cousin

upload.wikimedia.org
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-11 06:03:31 PM  
What's a 28 year old doing still living in student housing?

We had a guy about that age assigned to my floor in college. He got booted after he hit on every undergrad girl within the first week or two.
 
2013-03-11 06:54:59 PM  

brap: [i253.photobucket.com image 460x379]

Pecos Filbert and Popcorn are my service critters. The service they provide? WESTERN JUSTICE.


This is the best post on Fark ever.
 
2013-03-11 06:55:16 PM  

SomethingToDo: JohnCarter: Will she bring the guinea pig to an interview if she leaves the world of academia?  Will she need to have it at her workplace?

She won't be the first Sandra the Weirdo from Accounts.

/Just spent half an hour trying to find an Australian PSA which I'm pretty sure featured Sandra the Psycho from Accounts. She doesn't like being called that. Just as well she isn't.


Emily the Whacko from Accounts
 
2013-03-11 07:01:31 PM  

brap: [i253.photobucket.com image 460x379]

Pecos Filbert and Popcorn are my service critters. The service they provide? WESTERN JUSTICE.


Those are the most adorable names ever!!

/Squeeeee
 
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