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(The Sun)   One way to make an international terrorist look less threatening is to replace his trademarked metal hook with a spork   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 107
    More: Obvious, Abu Hamza, Hamza, international terrorist, life imprisonments, prosthetic limbs  
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18679 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2013 at 10:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



107 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-11 09:38:45 AM  
This is the best thing I've read all morning. I love this
 
2013-03-11 10:39:21 AM  
His legal team are also demanding a  LAPTOP so he can work on his defence from jail.


Not just a laptop, but a LAPTOP?!


Meanwhile, prosecutors say they are only half-way through probing evidence against him.

They say they have to plough through 3,240 audio cassettes, 670 videos, 619 computer discs and 340 DVDs.

So, they're holding this guy and they haven't even figured out what to charge him with? In view of that, I think a laptop isn't unreasonable.

/of course, a  LAPTOP would be unreasonable.
 
2013-03-11 10:40:25 AM  
FTFA: His lawyers say he is unable to use toilets properly....

And the hook helped... how?
 
2013-03-11 10:41:37 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: FTFA: His lawyers say he is unable to use toilets properly....

And the hook helped... how?


Maybe he's got a piercing and could aim by hooking it?

/with the spork, it'll just splash everywhere.
 
2013-03-11 10:44:07 AM  
Forcing a prisoner to type on a laptop with a spork has got to be a violation of the Geneva Conventions.
 
2013-03-11 10:44:12 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: FTFA: His lawyers say he is unable to use toilets properly....

And the hook helped... how?


It's easier to get the ring that's attached to the cork
 
2013-03-11 10:46:23 AM  
Or we just find something to convict him of terrorism and a firing squad will solve all the problems.
 
2013-03-11 10:47:56 AM  
Plenty of peopl can use the restroom with one hand, is this guy's other hand so weak he can't accomplish that?

I'm not sure how reasonable it is that he's allowed any implement that could potentially be a weapon. Of course, it's also unreasonable to hold him indefinitely until you figure out what to charge him with.
 
2013-03-11 10:49:45 AM  
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-11 10:50:13 AM  
Jebus...  The Sun is just a mess these days, isn't it?
 
2013-03-11 10:50:52 AM  
What a  LATOP might look like:

www.worsetech.com

This right here though is about all we should afford this worthless turd:

serycoper.comxa.com
 
2013-03-11 10:50:56 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Forcing a prisoner to type on a laptop with a spork has got to be a violation of the Geneva Conventions.


Hah!
 
2013-03-11 10:51:10 AM  

timswar: Plenty of peopl can use the restroom with one hand, is this guy's other hand so weak he can't accomplish that?

I'm not sure how reasonable it is that he's allowed any implement that could potentially be a weapon. Of course, it's also unreasonable to hold him indefinitely until you figure out what to charge him with.


Maybe we should let him go, because, you know, land of the free and shiat.

Or why don't you take your terrorist-loving ass and move to Afghanistan, you goddamned appeaser.
 
2013-03-11 10:55:26 AM  

whateverblog.dallasnews.com


*Frowns on the Sun's shenanigans*




OR



blog.zap2it.com

*Dares you to try that with him, sugartits*
 
2013-03-11 10:55:28 AM  
Why a spoon, cousin?
 
2013-03-11 10:55:35 AM  
I thought I was reading the Onion. Hilarious.
 
2013-03-11 10:56:20 AM  

timswar: Plenty of peopl can use the restroom with one hand, is this guy's other hand so weak he can't accomplish that?

I'm not sure how reasonable it is that he's allowed any implement that could potentially be a weapon. Of course, it's also unreasonable to hold him indefinitely until you figure out what to charge him with.


He's Muslim.  It's against their religion to do anything else with the hand they wipe their ass with.
 
2013-03-11 10:57:26 AM  

SuperChuck: Why a spoon, cousin?


Because it's dull you twit, it'll hurt moar.
 
2013-03-11 11:01:22 AM  

Theaetetus: His legal team are also demanding a  LAPTOP so he can work on his defence from jail.


Not just a laptop, but a LAPTOP?!


Meanwhile, prosecutors say they are only half-way through probing evidence against him.

They say they have to plough through 3,240 audio cassettes, 670 videos, 619 computer discs and 340 DVDs.

So, they're holding this guy and they haven't even figured out what to charge him with? In view of that, I think a laptop isn't unreasonable.

/of course, a  LAPTOP would be unreasonable.


Somebody should get that guy a P-p-p-powerbook!
 
2013-03-11 11:03:01 AM  
I was distracted by the sidebar article about Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasts... which to the best of my (admittedly slim) knowledge, she's never fully displayed on camera, so I don't really see the point of insuring them "for millions".

Am at work, so will not be doing any kind of research on that topic.

Sadly, the grumpy cat 'shops from the next thread are more entertaining than the films of hers that I can recall.
 
2013-03-11 11:03:48 AM  
My SPORK is tooo big

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-03-11 11:04:48 AM  
Prosecutors shouldn't have to wade through 3,000+ cassettes.

Three incriminating pieces of evidence should be enough for the right crime. The grand total can be tallied ex post mortem.
 
2013-03-11 11:04:50 AM  
SPORK!
 
2013-03-11 11:05:49 AM  
Why is this man alive?  Seriously.  You you think you are denying him pillow time with the 72 virgins he thinks he's going to get when he dies?  You must think he's going to get them, you are punishing him by not allowing him to proceed to his reward.  He can't possibly know anything of any intelligence value any more.  Take him to a nice comfortable cell, give him a vitamin hot of something that will put him to sleep forever, done.  Really, I'll do it for you if you don't have the courage, just give me the needle, it's no bother, really.
 
2013-03-11 11:05:51 AM  
A terrorist with "Bunny Eyes"
Things don't bode well for this piece of human waste.
 
2013-03-11 11:06:34 AM  

hdhale: just give me the needle


Fark you, Give me an enema bag full of boiling pig grease.

Let me show you how it's done.
 
xcv
2013-03-11 11:06:36 AM  

Theaetetus: MaudlinMutantMollusk: FTFA: His lawyers say he is unable to use toilets properly....

And the hook helped... how?

Maybe he's got a piercing and could aim by hooking it?

/with the spork, it'll just splash everywhere.


Just attach one of those jumbo-sized Krazy Straws to his prosthetic. The plastic is relatively harmless, he can use it for foods like soup and porridge and can even pee through the loops or the straw, his choice.

And it makes his brand of crazy appear more family-friendly.
 
2013-03-11 11:07:53 AM  
It's very frustrating for him. He finds it hard to eat, use the bathroom and even turn on the hot and cold taps."


Oh, that's too bad. You know what else is frustrating? Not growing up with parents because they were vaporized by nut job religious arseholes. Or sent overseas to fight nut job religious arseholes.

They should sharpen (point and edge) the hook and give it back to him without the toilet paper.
 
2013-03-11 11:08:40 AM  
What they should do is dress him in blue and put him in with the Bloods.
 
2013-03-11 11:10:25 AM  

timswar: Plenty of peopl can use the restroom with one hand, is this guy's other hand so weak he can't accomplish that?

I'm not sure how reasonable it is that he's allowed any implement that could potentially be a weapon. Of course, it's also unreasonable to hold him indefinitely until you figure out what to charge him with.


IIRC the guy's other hand was blown off in the same explosion which took righty and his eye.

I think he may only have used one hook however, because two hooks would look silly.
 
2013-03-11 11:12:41 AM  
A laptop? What is wrong with just a simple tablet requiring a 10 finger gesture to unlock?
 
2013-03-11 11:14:13 AM  
And why is he in NY and not Guantanamo?
 
2013-03-11 11:14:54 AM  

Theaetetus: So, they're holding this guy and they haven't even figured out what to charge him with?



Hey, this is America!

Once you're suspected of Terr-rism, it's over.

No charges, evidence trial or conviction necessary.

Why is this guy not worm food already?
 
2013-03-11 11:16:03 AM  

FullMetalPanda: timswar: Plenty of peopl can use the restroom with one hand, is this guy's other hand so weak he can't accomplish that?

I'm not sure how reasonable it is that he's allowed any implement that could potentially be a weapon. Of course, it's also unreasonable to hold him indefinitely until you figure out what to charge him with.

He's Muslim.  It's against their religion to do anything else with the hand they wipe their ass with.


So...he's perfectly able to go to the bathroom, turn the tap on and off, etc. with one hand.  He's just unwilling to.
 
2013-03-11 11:27:02 AM  
timswar: Plenty of peopl can use the restroom with one hand, is this guy's other hand so weak he can't accomplish that?

I'm not sure how reasonable it is that he's allowed any implement that could potentially be a weapon. Of course, it's also unreasonable to hold him indefinitely until you figure out what to charge him with.


The radical preacher, 54, is facing 11 terror charges in the US after finally being extradited from the UK last year.

Reading is fundamental.
 
2013-03-11 11:30:43 AM  
At least he can play Knifey-Spoony
www.moviefancentral.com
 
2013-03-11 11:33:18 AM  

FullMetalPanda: He's Muslim. It's against their religion to do anything else with the hand they wipe their ass with.


I've met people who actually believe this about Muslims.
 
2013-03-11 11:34:39 AM  

Jim from Saint Paul: [whateverblog.dallasnews.com image 300x225]
*Frowns on the Sun's shenanigans*



Came in looking just for that.
 
2013-03-11 11:35:43 AM  
Sheeeeeeeit... I'd rather go up against a hook than a spork.
 
2013-03-11 11:37:53 AM  
FTFA: Hamza, who lost his hand and an eye in an explosion in Afghanistan...


This is only half true. Yes, he lost his hand in the explosion. He lost his eye shortly after getting the hook fitted when he absentmindedly went to scratch an itch on his eyelid.

/here all week.
 
2013-03-11 11:39:55 AM  
Don't miss the jail gift shop
www.freedomsphoenix.com
 
2013-03-11 11:42:38 AM  

czetie: He lost his eye shortly after getting the hook fitted when he absentmindedly went to scratch an itch on his eyelid.


Where is the button? I want to downvote you "Disgusting/Don't want this thought."
 
2013-03-11 11:42:53 AM  

Vodka Zombie: FullMetalPanda: He's Muslim. It's against their religion to do anything else with the hand they wipe their ass with.

I've met people who actually believe this about Muslims.


Dude, look at how most of them eat.  With their hands.  Go wipe your ass then eat with the same hand then.
 
2013-03-11 11:45:57 AM  
kerinapharr.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-11 11:51:14 AM  

FullMetalPanda: Vodka Zombie: FullMetalPanda: He's Muslim. It's against their religion to do anything else with the hand they wipe their ass with.

I've met people who actually believe this about Muslims.

Dude, look at how most of them eat.  With their hands.  Go wipe your ass then eat with the same hand then.


I don't see why that would be a problem. But then, I actually wash my hands after I wipe my ass, i'm guessing you don't bother?
 
2013-03-11 11:51:41 AM  

FullMetalPanda: Vodka Zombie: FullMetalPanda: He's Muslim. It's against their religion to do anything else with the hand they wipe their ass with.

I've met people who actually believe this about Muslims.

Dude, look at how most of them eat.  With their hands.  Go wipe your ass then eat with the same hand then.


I know, right?  It's totally like McDonald's or Taco Bell or KFC or....

They're totes savages, man.  It's like they're not even human or anything.  We should find a scientist person and have them tested to see what their genetics say.  They could be, like, a whole new species or sumthin.

Really.  It's astounding how stupid people are in this country.
 
2013-03-11 11:52:52 AM  
I know when I think "hard time using the bathroom" the idea "hey, a spork would really help out with that," leaps to mind immediately. But then again, the hook would also seem to present certain difficulties. Maybe they should outfit him with a few seashells?
 
2013-03-11 11:54:01 AM  
I don't mean to sound superficial, but al Qaeda could really use a couple of image consultants on staff.  Why are these guys always so ugly?  There are plenty of good looking men in the Middle East, so there's no reason why these whackjobs have to look this revolting.
 
2013-03-11 11:56:16 AM  
Watch out, he'll spork your ass.
 
2013-03-11 11:57:15 AM  
I say fit his stub with a loaded gun that has a pressure plate at the muzzle for a trigger. Then cover his other hand with a large cast that immobilizes it. That way he has to scratch his balls and wipe his ass with a loaded gun that could go off with any false move.
 
2013-03-11 11:57:44 AM  

timswar: Plenty of peopl can use the restroom with one hand, is this guy's other hand so weak he can't accomplish that?

I'm not sure how reasonable it is that he's allowed any implement that could potentially be a weapon. Of course, it's also unreasonable to hold him indefinitely until you figure out what to charge him with.


He doesn't have any hands.  He blew them both off.
 
2013-03-11 11:59:26 AM  
i46.tinypic.com
 
2013-03-11 12:01:05 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: I don't mean to sound superficial, but al Qaeda could really use a couple of image consultants on staff.  Why are these guys always so ugly?  There are plenty of good looking men in the Middle East, so there's no reason why these whackjobs have to look this revolting.


2.bp.blogspot.com
"Okay."
 
2013-03-11 12:01:51 PM  
T

Amos Quito: Theaetetus: So, they're holding this guy and they haven't even figured out what to charge him with?


Hey, this is America!

Once you're suspected of Terr-rism, it's over.

No charges, evidence trial or conviction necessary.

Why is this guy not worm food already?


Once again....
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-03-11 12:02:39 PM  

Theaetetus: Not just a laptop, but a LAPTOP?!


I think that is what happens when you run Macbook through Google Translate.
 
2013-03-11 12:02:39 PM  

Theaetetus: So, they're holding this guy and they haven't even figured out what to charge him with? In view of that, I think a laptop isn't unreasonable.


???

Even The Sun notes that he has been indicted on 11 different charges
 
2013-03-11 12:02:46 PM  
Now they need to replace his head with a stump.
 
2013-03-11 12:04:23 PM  

Speaker2Animals: Jim from Saint Paul: [whateverblog.dallasnews.com image 300x225]
*Frowns on the Sun's shenanigans*


Came in looking just for that.


Came for that too.  Just saw the latest Once Upon a Time episode.  Time for WAR!

SPOILER?
Also, Baelfire/Hook acquaintance... he was a lost boy?
 
2013-03-11 12:05:04 PM  

Vodka Zombie: I've met people who actually believe this about Muslims.


what, that there is a hand for doing clean things (right), and a hand for doing unclean things(left)?  That this is so pervasive a part of the culture, that when the Basque controlled what is now Spain, they changed the very word  for "left" - instead of being based on the latin "siniestra" (from which we get the word "sinister") it based on "ezker."

Yes, there is no "clean" hand, and no "dirty" hand.  You win the prize.  The left hand is hell, the right hand is heaven, though.  The left hand - exactly as the post you were replying to said - is typically used for dirty tasks.  The right hand, for clean tasks.  While the Koran itself doesn't say much of anything on the subject, it is very very much part of Sunnah, being mentioned in lots and lots of Hadith.

But go on thinking people who say such things are stupid.
 
2013-03-11 12:05:53 PM  

Rufus Lee King: I've been reading the Burton translation of "Arabian Nights", and got the impression that eating with your left hand is considered impolite/insulting/sacrilegious among the Muslims. Just an impression, as I said; not worth getting upset over, or anything


So its a good thing he has no hands then
 
2013-03-11 12:08:59 PM  

Rufus Lee King: I've been reading the Burton translation of "Arabian Nights", and got the impression that eating with your left hand is considered impolite/insulting/sacrilegious among the Muslims. Just an impression, as I said; not worth getting upset over, or anything


It's not inherent to the religion.  It is inherent to the history and culture of that geographical region, and pretty much any other geographical region where you grow up without necessarily having access to toilet paper (or trees with large leaves, books printed on thin paper, etc).  If the only thing you gots to wipe with is your left hand, then you don't do anything else with that hand.

/except film scenes in Mall Rats
 
2013-03-11 12:08:59 PM  
i220.photobucket.com">
 
2013-03-11 12:09:49 PM  
One way to make an alleged international terrorist look less threatening is to replace his trademarked metal hook with a spork

He's not a terrorist until there's a fair trial.

It's not a fair trial until Dick Cheney's trial.
 
2013-03-11 12:12:08 PM  

FARK rebel soldier: Don't miss the jail gift shop
[www.freedomsphoenix.com image 403x403]


That's a lot of funny right there...
 
2013-03-11 12:12:11 PM  

macadamnut: One way to make an alleged international terrorist look less threatening is to replace his trademarked metal hook with a spork

He's not a terrorist until there's a fair trial.

It's not a fair trial until Dick Cheney's trial.


And another...
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-03-11 12:14:31 PM  

macadamnut: He's not a terrorist until there's a fair trial.


He already had a trial, in England.

He was convicted.

You can remove the "alleged" now.
 
2013-03-11 12:16:40 PM  

over_and_done: It's not inherent to the religion.


Except for it being Sunnah, and Sunnah being part of the religion - sure.

To say there is/was a distinction between culture and religion for much of that "geographic region" is a silly thing to do.
 
2013-03-11 12:22:06 PM  
And a spork, of all things.
 
2013-03-11 12:24:59 PM  

IamAwake: over_and_done: It's not inherent to the religion.

Except for it being Sunnah, and Sunnah being part of the religion - sure.

To say there is/was a distinction between culture and religion for much of that "geographic region" is a silly thing to do.


Fine, I'll clarify:  it's been part of the culture for longer than the religion has been around, and unless I'm badly misremembering there was nothing in the Qur'an about it.  Stuff that came later, came later.

None of which really matter to this thread, which has been sadly falling behind in its spork pictures.
 
2013-03-11 12:24:59 PM  
Same article, different source for those who are "blessed" with SonicWall at work.

/Seriously?  The SUN is filtered?
 
2013-03-11 12:26:14 PM  

Highroller48: Same article, different source for those who are "blessed" with

SonicWall at work.

/Seriously?  The SUN is filtered?


My preview fail...let me show it to you.

Link:http://britishnewscentral.wordpress.com/2013/03/11/hate-preache r-abu-h amzas-hook-to-be-replaced-by-a-spoon/
 
2013-03-11 12:28:21 PM  

IamAwake: But go on thinking people who say such things are stupid.


So. Which hand do I use to give the finger to religious nut jobs of any "faith"*

And by "Faith" I mean bullshait peddlers.
 
2013-03-11 12:28:57 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
Tentatively approves.

/but still thinks it should be dull, you twit.
 
2013-03-11 12:29:28 PM  
To be fair, i would imagine a spork just wouldnt be as attractive with the ladies


www.phillysocialmediamoms.com
 
2013-03-11 12:32:59 PM  
Came to see Photoshop of  Oscar Pistorius with sporks . . .
 
2013-03-11 12:45:22 PM  

timswar: Plenty of peopl can use the restroom with one hand, is this guy's other hand so weak he can't accomplish that?


My guess is, by "properly" they mean that he's from a culture where the left hand is the "unclean" hand and the right hand is the "clean" hand.  Certain things are only supposed to be done with the right hand; other things are only supposed to be done with the left hand.

So yes, one can make do, but it would roughly analogous to keeping someone handcuffed during meals and telling them that they could always eat with their feet (assuming that they were actually flexible enough that they COULD).
 
2013-03-11 12:48:10 PM  

halfof33: macadamnut: He's not a terrorist until there's a fair trial.


He already had a trial, in England.

He was convicted.


You can remove the "alleged" now.


Looks like most of the things he was convicted of in England wouldn't even be crimes in the US - yet.

Wiki:

"Guilty of three charges related to "using threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour with intent to stir up racial hatred

"Guilty of one charge of "possession of threatening, abusive or insulting recordings of sound, with intent to stir up racial hatred

"Guilty of one charge of "possessing a document containing information likely to be useful to a person committing or preparing an act of terrorism"[25] under the Terrorism Act 2000, s58. This charge under the Terrorism Act of 2000 related to his possession of an Encyclopedia of Afghan Jihad, an Al Qaeda Handbook and other propaganda materials produced by Abu Hamza.


LOL!

No First Amendment for you, Limeys.
 
2013-03-11 12:50:48 PM  

IamAwake: Vodka Zombie: I've met people who actually believe this about Muslims.

what, that there is a hand for doing clean things (right), and a hand for doing unclean things(left)?  That this is so pervasive a part of the culture, that when the Basque controlled what is now Spain, they changed the very word  for "left" - instead of being based on the latin "siniestra" (from which we get the word "sinister") it based on "ezker."

Yes, there is no "clean" hand, and no "dirty" hand.  You win the prize.  The left hand is hell, the right hand is heaven, though.  The left hand - exactly as the post you were replying to said - is typically used for dirty tasks.  The right hand, for clean tasks.  While the Koran itself doesn't say much of anything on the subject, it is very very much part of Sunnah, being mentioned in lots and lots of Hadith.

But go on thinking people who say such things are stupid.


Please do call us when you find your way into the 21st Century, okay?  And, please, could you stop by the store and pick up the point you seem to have completely missed?  They might even be on sale.

I'd love to talk more, but I need to grab some lunch from Burger King.  I am going to eat it with my hands "Muslim Style," and not in the dainty, knife-and-fork, way Real Uhmerikans eat.
 
2013-03-11 12:51:09 PM  
I'm not sure it's correct thing to do, it might spork protests among Muslims
 
2013-03-11 12:51:48 PM  
He needs it so he can properly spread his buttcheeks in the shower.
 
2013-03-11 12:53:09 PM  

johnperkins: FullMetalPanda:He's Muslim.  It's against their religion to do anything else with the hand they wipe their ass with.

So...he's perfectly able to go to the bathroom, turn the tap on and off, etc. with one hand.  He's just unwilling to.


FTA: "His lawyers say he is unable to use toilets properly and can't turn taps on or off."

That's the difference between "unable to use toilets  properly" and "unable to use toilets."

Again, it would be like someone telling you, "You're perfectly able to eat with your feet.  You're just unwilling to."  (Leaving aside the fact that not everybody does have the flexibility to eat with their feet.)
 
2013-03-11 01:02:09 PM  

FullMetalPanda: Vodka Zombie: FullMetalPanda: He's Muslim. It's against their religion to do anything else with the hand they wipe their ass with.

I've met people who actually believe this about Muslims.

Dude, look at how most of them eat.  With their hands.  Go wipe your ass then eat with the same hand then.



I'm eating an orange with the same hand I just wiped with.  I'm even licking my fingers, using my teeth to dig out pieces of the peel that got stuck under my fingernails.

/it's called soap and water.  Sounds like you and Mr. "My-Hand-Got-All-Esplody-And-All-I-Get-Is-A-Hook" need to learn how to use it.
 
2013-03-11 01:02:21 PM  
Fark a spork. Replace that hook with a pinky pie figurine. Shows our contempt for terrorist when he has to wave that little-pink pony around all day, and our contempt of ponies when he wipes his ass with her.
 
2013-03-11 01:02:40 PM  
I can't even imagine having to wipe my butt with a hook.
I think his lawyers need to realize that if he had not been playing with dynamite in the first place, he wouldn't have lost his hand and his eye in an explosion and he would not have NEEDED a hook instead of a hand. Secondly, is he finding it hard to eat, wipe his ass or turn on the water taps because using his other hand is forbidden by some obscure Muslim law ?
But what REALLY interested me, was the sidebar where Jennifer Love Hewitt is telling everyone about her boobs being worth $Millions$ of dollars - something I can really appreciate.
 
2013-03-11 01:02:55 PM  

Vodka Zombie: FullMetalPanda: He's Muslim. It's against their religion to do anything else with the hand they wipe their ass with.

I've met people who actually believe this about Muslims.


It may not be true for ALL Muslims, but it's certainly true for SOME Muslims.  It's also true in a lot of Asian cultures that aren't Muslim.  Korea, for example, is probably one of the least Muslim countries on Earth, but the left hand is still considered to be "dirty" or "inferior" there, and there are cultural rules against doing certain things with the left hand.  The majority of non-Muslim Indians and Nepalis had cultural taboos concerning the left hand.

Even European culture has had for centuries the idea that the left is somehow "bad."  Witness the English word sinister.

So you've "met people who actually believe this about Muslims," hunh?  Have you ever met any actual Muslims?
 
2013-03-11 01:03:36 PM  
/hThis is only half true. Yes, he lost his hand in the explosion. He lost his eye shortly after getting the hook fitted when he absentmindedly went to scratch an itch on his eyelid.
here all week.


good thing he didn't have jock itch!
 
2013-03-11 01:11:41 PM  

Rufus Lee King: got the impression that eating with your left hand is considered impolite/insulting/sacrilegious among the Muslims.


I can already see it, one of Hamza's buddies says:

"Hey Abu!  Quit being so damn rude and eat with your right han......uh, er, um...my bad.  I'll just duck over to your left and stay in your blind spot."
 
2013-03-11 01:13:57 PM  
i552.photobucket.com
He's a monster!
 
2013-03-11 01:24:22 PM  

ciberido: Vodka Zombie: FullMetalPanda: He's Muslim. It's against their religion to do anything else with the hand they wipe their ass with.

I've met people who actually believe this about Muslims.

It may not be true for ALL Muslims, but it's certainly true for SOME Muslims.  It's also true in a lot of Asian cultures that aren't Muslim.  Korea, for example, is probably one of the least Muslim countries on Earth, but the left hand is still considered to be "dirty" or "inferior" there, and there are cultural rules against doing certain things with the left hand.  The majority of non-Muslim Indians and Nepalis had cultural taboos concerning the left hand.

Even European culture has had for centuries the idea that the left is somehow "bad."  Witness the English word sinister.

So you've "met people who actually believe this about Muslims," hunh?  Have you ever met any actual Muslims?


Actual Muslims?

I've met many, and I think all of them weren't rooted in the archaic, and wildly irrelevant, notion of a "dirty hand."  In fact, most would laugh at someone trying to use such a thing to disparage and insult their entire culture.

As an aside, you are also aware that Jews don't really use babies to make matzo, right?
 
2013-03-11 01:32:55 PM  

Claude Ballse: What a  LATOP might look like:

[www.worsetech.com image 300x243]

This right here though is about all we should afford this worthless turd:

[serycoper.comxa.com image 350x299]


Not really into that innocent until proven guilty thing eh..

\not defending the guy, defending the process
 
2013-03-11 01:39:00 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: I don't mean to sound superficial, but al Qaeda could really use a couple of image consultants on staff.  Why are these guys always so ugly?  There are plenty of good looking men in the Middle East, so there's no reason why these whackjobs have to look this revolting.


Take a tip from Syria...

media.heavy.com
 
2013-03-11 01:44:30 PM  

CygnusDarius: And a spork, of all things.


23.media.tumblr.com

/Why not a knork?
 
2013-03-11 01:46:39 PM  

Vodka Zombie: As an aside, you are also aware that Jews don't really use babies to make matzo, right?


Take the chip off your shoulder, reread my posts, and realize I'm not in the "All Muslims are evil!" camp.

And then buy a much smaller brush.
 
2013-03-11 01:55:15 PM  

illannoyin: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: I don't mean to sound superficial, but al Qaeda could really use a couple of image consultants on staff.  Why are these guys always so ugly?  There are plenty of good looking men in the Middle East, so there's no reason why these whackjobs have to look this revolting.

Take a tip from Syria...

[media.heavy.com image 640x407]


OMG it's Syrian Ryan Gosling!  What's Arabic for "Hey girl"?
 
2013-03-11 02:03:32 PM  

Vodka Zombie: As an aside, you are also aware that Jews don't really use babies to make matzo, right?


To be fair, that's only because MSG is cheaper so the big Matzoh conglomerates are substituting it.  Stick to the good stuff you get at the Hasidic markets.  All-natural ingredients or nothing!
 
2013-03-11 02:19:43 PM  

Rufus Lee King: I've been reading the Burton translation of "Arabian Nights", and got the impression that eating with your left hand is considered impolite/insulting/sacrilegious among the Muslims. Just an impression, as I said; not worth getting upset over, or anything


I'm fairly certain that this USED to be a thing.  I know it was a thing in dark ages Europe.  You wipe with your left hand, and you never use your left hand at the table.  You also shake with your right hand, because that way you can't have a weapon in it.  (shake hands, you sick farks)
 
2013-03-11 02:24:30 PM  

Elegy: Fark a spork. Replace that hook with a pinky pie figurine. Shows our contempt for terrorist when he has to wave that little-pink pony around all day, and our contempt of ponies when he wipes his ass with her.


denver.mylittlefacewhen.com
 
2013-03-11 02:56:27 PM  
imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-03-11 03:37:18 PM  
Amos Quito
Why is this guy not worm food already?

Arena isn't built yet.

/sigh
 
2013-03-11 03:44:38 PM  

FullMetalPanda: timswar: Plenty of peopl can use the restroom with one hand, is this guy's other hand so weak he can't accomplish that?

I'm not sure how reasonable it is that he's allowed any implement that could potentially be a weapon. Of course, it's also unreasonable to hold him indefinitely until you figure out what to charge him with.

He's Muslim.  It's against their religion to do anything else with the hand they wipe their ass with.


i mean... i get some things go to tradition... and its not necessarily about the actual practicality... but...

SOAP.

and running water. we have it.  use it. change the "all staff must wash hands" sign to include "and muslims," make sure the dispenser is full, and call it a farking day.

/like this guy has never touched anything but his ass with only hand.
 
2013-03-11 04:01:17 PM  

stampylives: FullMetalPanda: timswar: Plenty of peopl can use the restroom with one hand, is this guy's other hand so weak he can't accomplish that?

I'm not sure how reasonable it is that he's allowed any implement that could potentially be a weapon. Of course, it's also unreasonable to hold him indefinitely until you figure out what to charge him with.

He's Muslim.  It's against their religion to do anything else with the hand they wipe their ass with.

i mean... i get some things go to tradition... and its not necessarily about the actual practicality... but...

SOAP.

and running water. we have it.  use it. change the "all staff must wash hands" sign to include "and muslims," make sure the dispenser is full, and call it a farking day.

/like this guy has never touched anything but his ass with only hand.


1. He had NO HANDS.

2. Muslims are meticulous about washing, and use a jug of water instead of toilet paper.
 
2013-03-11 04:41:28 PM  
The spork wouldn't bother so much. But geez that eye is crazy. What since he's muslim does it always have to be looking east?
 
2013-03-11 04:53:01 PM  
Hmm...I guess I finally understand why GitMo hasn't yet been closed down.

Please don't be surprised the day that an American born and bred non-muslim "terrists" end up there without a trail.

Keep giving the people in charge unlimited power and be surprised the day it turns around and bites you.

/never one to shy away from saying the unpopular thing
//if the guy is guilty of killing innocents or part of it, send him to the gallows
///the person who uses the phrase "collateral damage" (or any variation thereof, in any language) is a person willing to sacrifice YOUR kids for their cause
 
2013-03-11 06:12:07 PM  

LewDux: [imgs.xkcd.com image 682x425]


It says much about my XKCD habits that, even after recognizing the comic you posted and knowing that nothing would happen, I instinctively moused over the image waiting for the alt text to appear.
 
2013-03-12 09:38:03 PM  
Captain Spork the Dork?
 
2013-03-12 09:51:25 PM  
"I'm going to cut your heart out with a spoon!" Alan Rickman
 
2013-03-12 11:50:12 PM  

Highroller48: Vodka Zombie: As an aside, you are also aware that Jews don't really use babies to make matzo, right?

To be fair, that's only because MSG is cheaper so the big Matzoh conglomerates are substituting it.  Stick to the good stuff you get at the Hasidic markets.  All-natural ingredients or nothing!


MSG is made by boiling seaweed with salt, how natural is natural enough?
 
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