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(Miami Herald)   You know you've got a big ass when you got shot in it while at a street festival and don't even notice until somebody later points out that you're bleeding   (miamiherald.com) divider line 53
    More: Florida, Miami Police, Little Havana, festivals, Jackson Memorial Hospital  
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11852 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2013 at 10:28 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-11 10:30:15 AM
Maybe they just ate at Taco Bells and thought it was anal leakage?
 
2013-03-11 10:30:34 AM
Sounds like an ass Sir Mix a Lot would approve of.
 
2013-03-11 10:30:34 AM
20 grain .22LR might do that.
 
2013-03-11 10:31:16 AM
That's not blood, its gravy
 
2013-03-11 10:32:46 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: 20 grain .22LR might do that.


There was that kid who was jogging and just thought a fly bit him till he saw the blood on the shirt. Turned out there was a .22 slug in his deltoid, halfway out.
 
2013-03-11 10:34:37 AM
Kardasian thread??

blog.zap2it.com
 
2013-03-11 10:35:04 AM
Two words: Incontinentia Buttocks
 
2013-03-11 10:38:29 AM
More cushion for the gushin.
 
2013-03-11 10:39:40 AM
Came from J Lo.

Kardasian is a close second though
 
2013-03-11 10:40:22 AM
www.spikednation.com
 
2013-03-11 10:40:27 AM
Adele is touring Miami?
 
2013-03-11 10:40:46 AM
Directly in the buttocks. Oh, yes sir. Bit him right in the buttocks. They said it was a million dollar wound, but the army must keep that money because I still haven't seen a nickel of that million dollars.
 
2013-03-11 10:41:58 AM
Sometimes that happens in mosh pits too. You think that wet feeling is just sweat, and it's not till later you realize you were stabbed.
 
2013-03-11 10:42:27 AM
Someone shot Michelle Obama?
 
2013-03-11 10:42:38 AM
Also

i.qkme.me
 
2013-03-11 10:43:46 AM
i.imgur.com

/Oblig
 
2013-03-11 10:49:33 AM
Fat people have feelings too, people. Stop being mean.
 
2013-03-11 10:51:05 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Fat people have feelings too, people. Stop being mean.


Well stop eating your feelings then
 
2013-03-11 10:51:46 AM
"God DAMN, that's a big fat ass!"  -Randy Marsh
 
2013-03-11 10:55:00 AM
Came for the Forrest Gump, leaving satisfied. With a million dollar wound.

/// thanks, JohnCarter, but you will never see that money.
 
2013-03-11 10:55:10 AM
Perhaps he was heavily medicated?
 
2013-03-11 10:59:42 AM
Doctor: ...and the bullet penetrated the Gluteus Maximus.

Rodney: Naw, you're wrong! He shot me in the ass!


/Easy Money - One of the 10 funniest movies ever made.
//EVER
 
2013-03-11 11:10:47 AM
Ortiz got a big old butt
Pedro got a big old butt
Ignacio got a big old butt

/rtfa
 
2013-03-11 11:23:57 AM
Did they ever find the  assailant?
 
2013-03-11 11:32:21 AM
OK, so you are unaware that you're shot and you continue walking around and having a good time. Once you find out you're shot, you faint. Got it.

JC
 
2013-03-11 11:36:42 AM
www.reactionface.info
 
2013-03-11 11:39:20 AM

JoeCowboy: OK, so you are unaware that you're shot and you continue walking around and having a good time. Once you find out you're shot, you faint. Got it.

JC


 Remember how we didn't used to know meteors flew near the Earth all the time so we didn't panic about it?
 
2013-03-11 11:40:19 AM

JoeCowboy: OK, so you are unaware that you're shot and you continue walking around and having a good time. Once you find out you're shot, you faint. Got it.

JC



So what would you do? Flex your massive glutes, spit the bullet out and keep walkin'? Knowing you've been shot is skeery, plus blood loss doesn't happen all at once.
 
2013-03-11 11:43:47 AM

mbillips: [www.reactionface.info image 300x300]


Ahahahah, well played.
 
2013-03-11 11:45:14 AM
My GF's fat roommate sat on a hot muffin fresh from the oven.  We didn't notice until she got up a few minutes later looking for her muffin.  She was wearing thin pajama pants yet could not feel a hot muffin stuck to her ass.  My hypothesis: Sensation does not increase as skin stretches so sensation is inversely proportional to skin surface area.

We could test this with a two-point discrimination skin test.  It would be good to conduct the study with repeated measures on individuals before and after significant weight gain.  Anyone want to volunteer to become a fatty, get an ass tattoo (for surface area measurement), and get poked in the ass for science?
 
2013-03-11 11:49:20 AM
Finally a sensible justification for being obese..  besides winning at see saw.
 
2013-03-11 11:51:41 AM

Vegetative reproduction: We could test this with a two-point discrimination skin test. It would be good to conduct the study with repeated measures on individuals before and after significant weight gain. Anyone want to volunteer to become a fatty, get an ass tattoo (for surface area measurement), and get poked in the ass for science?


I read this in Cave Johnson's voice
 
2013-03-11 12:05:05 PM
Sounds more like something marijuauna would cause than obesity.
 
2013-03-11 12:06:47 PM
Bah and the army wants thinner soldiers...
 
2013-03-11 12:10:34 PM

farkingismybusiness: Directly in the buttocks. Oh, yes sir. Bit him right in the buttocks. They said it was a million dollar wound, but the army must keep that money because I still haven't seen a nickel of that million dollars.


"Kind of an Easy Company tradition, getting shot in the ass"
 
2013-03-11 12:15:37 PM
Why you shoot my friend?

www.donegaldaily.com
 
2013-03-11 12:20:08 PM
blogs.suntimes.com
Approves.
 
2013-03-11 12:24:34 PM
I'd post a pic of her ass, but I can't find any that are SFW.

upload.wikimedia.org
/Got to meet her last month.
//CSB
 
2013-03-11 12:25:33 PM
I am going to hell for LMFAO at that headline, subby. I hope you're happy!
 
2013-03-11 12:36:43 PM
Shot in the right beaut-tock?

2.bp.blogspot.com

/we are the joy boys of radio!!!
 
2013-03-11 01:06:00 PM
You insensitive ass.
 
2013-03-11 01:26:06 PM
Eh?   The joy boys were Willard Scott (a man Lewis Black says smiles so much he doubts he has a central nervous system) and Ed Walker.

That's Burl Ives in that photo of the Captian showing the cap of the full commander.   He doesn't hold a candle to the same character in the original Mister Roberts movie...Jimmy Cagney, here shown holding the same hat:
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-11 01:26:22 PM
"The victim, who was hit in the left buttocks"..

My understanding was that you had 2 buttocks, a left buttock, and a right buttock. How many arse cheeks did this guy have? 4?
 
2013-03-11 01:29:15 PM
And now for something completely different...
www.cardinalfang.net
 
2013-03-11 01:43:58 PM
s3.vidimg.popscreen.com
 
2013-03-11 01:49:21 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

Blood suckers!!
 
2013-03-11 01:49:33 PM
Tough guy that Hugh Jass.
 
2013-03-11 02:43:04 PM

hundreddollarman: I'd post a pic of her ass, but I can't find any that are SFW.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x1275]
/Got to meet her last month.
//CSB

Mmmmmmmm, love dat ass
 
2013-03-11 03:00:26 PM
What a numbass.
 
2013-03-11 03:41:50 PM
The victim, who was hit in the left buttocks, was taken to Jackson Memorial Hospital

Shouldn't it be "left buttock"?
 
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