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(Complex)   Article about a male guard who traded a female inmate cookies for oral sex--illustrated with a pic to get your juices going   (complex.com) divider line 62
    More: Dumbass, female inmates, baked goods, oral sex, CD-ROM  
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25985 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2013 at 7:04 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-11 01:57:17 AM
The giver of cookies was also the giver of oral sex.  He went down on her, and gave her cookies in exchange for getting to see her boobs.
Dude must suck at baking and negotiating.
 
2013-03-11 02:32:58 AM
I live in Snohomish County, so I'm really getting a kick out of these responses.
 
2013-03-11 05:55:01 AM
Oh, Canda!
 
2013-03-11 07:10:08 AM
Blame Canda!

Blame Canda!
 
2013-03-11 07:11:23 AM
There was an old school mother who thought her kid needed to spend some time in juvenile so he could learn his lesson and grow up. So she reported him to the police for some small-time criminal offense and off he went to trial and juvie.

Turns out things had changed since she was a juvenile. Her son ended up having to give oral sex to gang bangers in juvenile so he could get his pants back from them every morning.

Whether he got AIDS or not, who knows...but she sure taught that son of hers a lesson.
 
2013-03-11 07:11:39 AM
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-03-11 07:21:57 AM
Well played, subby. Smoking hot, indeed.
 
2013-03-11 07:23:01 AM
userserve-ak.last.fm

/knows about doing it for the nookie and where you can stick the cookie
 
2013-03-11 07:23:33 AM
can't help noticing CA prison guards face is not splashed on the internet like every accused/alleged USA school teacher who may or may not have sexed a student. is this because CA is kinder to the accused or because he's part of the prison system?
 
2013-03-11 07:23:42 AM
I'd hit it.
 
2013-03-11 07:25:09 AM
"She says that Canda performed oral sex on her in January, and gave her cookies as compensation for the services provided"

she got oral sex AND cookies? I'm lucky I get both in the same month.
 
2013-03-11 07:25:56 AM
For some strange reason I read that as "candida".

/wrong of me?
 
2013-03-11 07:26:11 AM
And don't bother enlarging the juicy picture. It's still the same size.
 
2013-03-11 07:26:51 AM

staplermofo: The giver of cookies was also the giver of oral sex.  He went down on her, and gave her cookies in exchange for getting to see her boobs.
Dude must suck at baking and negotiating.


Over in 1.
 
2013-03-11 07:30:01 AM
 
2013-03-11 07:31:01 AM
Subby did not lie.
 
2013-03-11 07:32:06 AM
After reading the article I have one question: how far will a lemon poppyseed cake get me?
 
2013-03-11 07:32:30 AM

KrispyKritter: can't help noticing CA prison guards face is not splashed on the internet like every accused/alleged USA school teacher who may or may not have sexed a student. is this because CA is kinder to the accused or because he's part of the prison system?


This happened in Washington state, not CA. The guard is named in the article. His name is Canda.
 
2013-03-11 07:35:35 AM
I have that DVD.
 
2013-03-11 07:35:40 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: There was an old school mother who thought her kid needed to spend some time in juvenile so he could learn his lesson and grow up. So she reported him to the police for some small-time criminal offense and off he went to trial and juvie.

Turns out things had changed since she was a juvenile. Her son ended up having to give oral sex to gang bangers in juvenile so he could get his pants back from them every morning.

Whether he got AIDS or not, who knows...but she sure taught that son of hers a lesson.


Your mom sounds like a biatch, tough break.
 
2013-03-11 07:37:22 AM

staplermofo: The giver of cookies was also the giver of oral sex.  He went down on her, and gave her cookies in exchange for getting to see her boobs.
Dude must suck at baking and negotiating.


He's been on paid administrative leave since January. he can't be all that bad at it.

like a boss.
 
2013-03-11 07:37:50 AM
First you can't pay for sex and now you can't even cook for a women and get sex. Thanks Obama.
 
2013-03-11 07:38:05 AM
Oh man. Are those chocolate chip, Macadamia nut?

.......sigh.
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-03-11 07:38:10 AM
Sharp ... chips?
/would not hit
 
2013-03-11 07:40:54 AM
Isn't there some old saying about not mixing business and pleasure?  And, if he never heard that, he should have been aware that there were cameras everywhere.
 
2013-03-11 07:42:00 AM
Mmmmm..... Cookies.
 
2013-03-11 07:48:33 AM
Jail guards who have sex with inmates should get in BIG trouble.  She may have done this willingly, but if the other person has the power to have you sent to "the hole" if you piss them off... there's always some coercion implied.  Also, those of you saying this guy is a sucker for trading cookies for GIVING oral sex, you have obviously not gone long enough without eating ****y.  As for her... well I'm glad she got the cookies because all else aside, this guy couldn't possibly have been the best head in a women's prison.
 
2013-03-11 07:53:48 AM
That is an awesome pic. I wanna get me some of that!
 
2013-03-11 07:57:34 AM
 
2013-03-11 07:59:31 AM
msnbcmedia4.msn.com
♫ C is for cunnilingus, that's good enough for me.♫
 
2013-03-11 08:00:44 AM

UNC_Samurai: VERY RELEVANT AND POTENTIALLY NSFW


Dammit! Beat me by 2 minutes!


/tiny fist, etc.
 
2013-03-11 08:05:26 AM

way south: I have that DVD.


Came to say this....

/shakes fist....
 
2013-03-11 08:07:16 AM
Would trade cookies for favors.

img.timeinc.net
 
2013-03-11 08:18:25 AM
Came for Fred Durst and the Cookie Monster ... I see my work has been done for me already. Either that or I'm out of original ideas.
 
2013-03-11 08:22:39 AM
The Cookie for Nookie Scandal
 
2013-03-11 08:27:46 AM
So, if "Cookies For Intimacy" was a band name, what kind of music would they play?

/Hypothetically speaking, anyway...
 
2013-03-11 08:40:57 AM

Phantoms5000: So, if "Cookies For Intimacy" was a band name, what kind of music would they play?

/Hypothetically speaking, anyway...


Elevator music.

/going down?
 
2013-03-11 08:41:25 AM
haha didn't click ha ha
 
2013-03-11 08:44:03 AM
Those cookies look delicious.
 
2013-03-11 08:52:38 AM
No the best part is the mtherfarker is on PAID administrative leave.. he basically rapes the inmates, gets a nice long vacation for it.

Punch sandwich, strawberry jam, his face, for being a part of the torture-for-a-living addict... i dont have words damn.. that made me mad. i'm gonna take a time out.

/sure, ITG, but that shiat is deeply ill.
 
2013-03-11 08:56:20 AM
quotespics.com

/Went for the pic - DNRTFA.
//Leaving satisfied - and hungry...
 
2013-03-11 09:00:10 AM
I really don't get it. If some chick is such a whore she will blow you for cookies what makes you think she isn't crawling with diseases?!??  That seems like a serious game of Russian roulette.

Sort of a human petri dish.
 
2013-03-11 09:00:55 AM

SpectroBoy: I really don't get it. If some chick is such a whore she will blow you for cookies what makes you think she isn't crawling with diseases?!??  That seems like a serious game of Russian roulette.


Yeah, maybe. But those cookies looked really good.
 
2013-03-11 09:16:20 AM

SpectroBoy: I really don't get it. If some chick is such a whore she will blow you for cookies what makes you think she isn't crawling with diseases?!??  That seems like a serious game of Russian roulette.

Sort of a human petri dish.


what? she's just extra chunky, just like the cookies.  Also, not referring to fat.

/I believe the phrase is "Cottage cheese discharge"
 
2013-03-11 09:16:38 AM
I'd like to wrap my lips around those cookies...
 
2013-03-11 09:28:24 AM

SpectroBoy: I really don't get it. If some chick is such a whore she will blow you for cookies what makes you think she isn't crawling with diseases?!??  That seems like a serious game of Russian roulette.

Sort of a human petri dish.


They aren't really bored. They are simply seeking something to demonstrate that they still exist.  Incarceration is a sad waste of humanity, but a suitable alternative has yet to be found.  Recently I had a discussion with a guy at the Y who had a huge prison tattoo...he said he had had his buddy do it with a sharpened paper clip they found.  He said that when you have nothing but time it beats just sitting there.
 
2013-03-11 09:29:28 AM

staplermofo: The giver of cookies was also the giver of oral sex.  He went down on her, and gave her cookies in exchange for getting to see her boobs.
Dude must suck at baking and negotiating.


No, he brought Trefoils instead of Thin Mints
 
2013-03-11 10:12:00 AM

SpectroBoy: I really don't get it. If some chick is such a whore she will blow you for cookies what makes you think she isn't crawling with diseases?!??  That seems like a serious game of Russian roulette.

Sort of a human petri dish.>

What has two (presumably) thumbs and didn't read the article?

 
2013-03-11 10:12:42 AM
Came for the cookie pics...
 
2013-03-11 10:16:38 AM
Will trade cookies for oral.

/EIP
 
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