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(Today)   God is *seriously* getting lazy with his "miracles"   (theclicker.today.com) divider line 43
    More: Silly, Mark Burnett, Bibles, Roma Downey, History Channel  
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5737 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 10 Mar 2013 at 4:22 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-10 12:55:23 PM  
And then, it was WINDY in the DESERT!!!
 
2013-03-10 01:00:44 PM  
next he'll be turning Yoplait into Dannon
 
2013-03-10 01:25:33 PM  
"There were snakes out there everyday, but one day we had MORE snakes!!"
 
2013-03-10 02:17:43 PM  
Wind AND snakes in the desert. That is a miracle.
 
2013-03-10 02:52:15 PM  
commonsenseatheism.com
 
2013-03-10 04:26:16 PM  
"The hand of God was on this "

Westerners are so weird.
 
2013-03-10 04:28:31 PM  
Then there was the one where his Gatorade stayed cold in only a cooler full of ice and with God's help.
 
2013-03-10 04:40:22 PM  
  Shortest review ever in the Heavenly Post.....And Jesus slept.
 
2013-03-10 04:41:03 PM  
When your creation has such low standards that they start getting excited about a tortilla that looks vaguely like your Son, you start to care less.
 
2013-03-10 04:42:00 PM  
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-03-10 04:46:21 PM  
Worst. Miracle. Ever.
 
2013-03-10 04:46:30 PM  
docudrama
 
2013-03-10 04:46:44 PM  
I think God needs to give them a little more help in making the show better.
 
2013-03-10 04:46:46 PM  
Really?  Wind and snakes in the desert is what passes for miracles these days?   They must have started speaking in tongues when they saw all that sand.  In the desert.  "One day, it was sandy.  And then the next day, it was even more sandy!   Praise Jebus!"
 
2013-03-10 05:14:04 PM  
"The hand of God was on this," Burnett. "But in spite of that, the edit came together perfectly, the actors came together perfectly, it just comes to life. I mean, for example, God attempted to blow the set over, but we prevailed against him. He stole costumes, but fortunately the kind spirit of man led a kid to return them. He also sent dozens of poisonous snakes to kill us, but we managed to find them all. No matter what He could throw at us, we were able to come together and beat him. So, this movie really is a giant 'Fark you' to God."
 
2013-03-10 05:19:16 PM  
All of those things actually seem very remarkable.......if you believe them.

Okay, the wind could have just been a coincidence, but remember, this is the network which brought you the "I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens" guy.

And maybe - just maybe most of it wasn't filmed around the rocks where they did the crucifixion scene and they just happened to film that scene over a snake pit.

The more shiat I hear like this, the less I believe in God and I gotta tell you I'm already pretty far past not believing - at least in God as described by the Bible or any religion as we know it.
 
2013-03-10 05:20:32 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: next he'll be turning Yoplait into Dannon


I opened a Yoplait while watching The Bible, and the fruit was on the top!!

Praise Jeebus!
 
2013-03-10 05:28:53 PM  
Bull.... Shiat
 
2013-03-10 05:45:04 PM  
I was watching The Bible and my dog shiat on the floor.  He was stopped up for a couple of days after eating a soccer ball, so I'd say it counts as a miracle.
 
2013-03-10 06:04:57 PM  
The disturbing thing is that all this is done to make $$$$

Everyone can go fark themselves
 
2013-03-10 06:19:47 PM  
Another incident, after Jesus' costume went missing during a baptism scene, is reminiscent of the gift of the Magi.
"Four days later, a kid showed up from many, many, many miles away, who had been seeking us through the desert to return this to us," Burnett enthused. "He didn't know what it was or why he should seek us, but he felt he had to return it."


So the kid stole a prop, couldn't find a buyer on Ebay, and brought it back? That sure as hell tops parting the Red Sea.
 
2013-03-10 06:37:17 PM  
What does this movie and the Bible have to do with God anyway?
 
2013-03-10 06:46:15 PM  

man metaphysical: The disturbing thing is that all this is done to make $$$$


Trying to make money off religion? Unheard of!
 
2013-03-10 06:48:18 PM  
There are such things as coincidences. That kid could've felt the need to return it, because he felt guilty for stealing it. The snakes thing was interesting. Still, it could all be coincidence.
 
2013-03-10 06:48:47 PM  
Props blowing away, "48 cobras and vipers hidden within the rocks around the cross". Sounds to me like Somebody didn't approve of this project.
 
2013-03-10 06:53:36 PM  

Happy Hours: All of those things actually seem very remarkable.......if you believe them.

Okay, the wind could have just been a coincidence, but remember, this is the network which brought you the "I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens" guy.

And maybe - just maybe most of it wasn't filmed around the rocks where they did the crucifixion scene and they just happened to film that scene over a snake pit.

The more shiat I hear like this, the less I believe in God and I gotta tell you I'm already pretty far past not believing - at least in God as described by the Bible or any religion as we know it.


So you believe in the gay Latino midget God with the walk up apartment?
 
2013-03-10 07:27:20 PM  
"Today, more people are discussing God's chosen people -- Moses and Abraham -- in one day than ever before," said Mark Burnett and his wife and producing partner Roma Downey in a History Channel statement.

When future historians dissect the decline and fall of the United States of America, they will lean heavily on this quote.
 
2013-03-10 07:38:18 PM  
The lord really needed to pace himself a little bit. OK... you start out... create the heavens and the earth. Fair enough. Good one there. Then you drown almost everyone on the planet because they did exactly what your omniscient self knew they would. Ooookay... a little psychotic... but hey you are the Lord! The you led your people out of slavery in Egypt (that Egypt doesn't seem to know about) and led them around a desert for 40 years that I could cross on foot in a week... tops. MMMkay. Kind of a dick move there. Later you sent yourself to earth to be killed for a weekend so that you could forgive everyone on the planet because they did exactly what your omniscient self knew they would. Well... at least you didn't drown them all this time. Gotta admit that's not stable behavior.

And now you print eurocentric representations of yourself and your extended family on toast. That's some pretty piss-poor miracles your doing now. Just kinda phoning it in, huh? You gotta admit... this would make a lot more sense if this was all just a bunch of stories dreamed up by iron age goatherders to entertain themselves.

Heeey! Wait a minute!
 
2013-03-10 07:41:53 PM  
add:
qty 1 '
qty 1 e

/probably will be more
//it was a miracle that I spelled most of the words correctly PTL
 
2013-03-10 07:45:01 PM  

MrBallou: Props blowing away, "48 cobras and vipers hidden within the rocks around the cross". Sounds to me like Somebody didn't approve of this project.


Oh ye of little faith. The meaning of random events is in the eye of the beholder.
 
2013-03-10 07:50:01 PM  
What a complete load of horse shiat.

Just for kicks I like asking religious nut job family members this question: If God has a divine plan WTF good is free will?
 
2013-03-10 07:53:18 PM  
"The hand of God was on this," Burnett. "The edit came together perfectly, the actors came together perfectly, it just comes to life."

Yeah, when you're doing a made-for-TV miniseries for a specialty daytime TV equivalent cable station with a target audience of people that haven't even picked up on basic elements of their _own religion_ and will actually learn something from said miniseries, i.e. complete morons, and your target demo is such that you don't even have to get the racial makeup of your actors anywhere near period for your "historical" movie...

... things coming together isn't really miracle territory.  You're in one-take then go home for coffee territory to begin with there.

//Albeit, that said, good for you, I certainly won't begrudge a director or actor some pride when they do their job and it comes out well.  There's plenty to be proud of in a simple job done solidly, ask any plumber or bricklayer.
 
2013-03-10 08:08:01 PM  
I always find it silly that when it comes to talking about faith, the people doing the talking always have to drag superpowers into the conversation. I don't even do that when talking about comic books.
 
2013-03-10 08:09:31 PM  
If he wants to perform a miracle how about inspiring someone to direct a version of the Bible that isn't a trite piece of over produced schlock aired on the channel famous for roughly 90% of their programming being about aliens despite the fact the channel is called History.

/grandparents wanted us to tape it to force...er...let my 4 year old son watch it
//no thanks, Grammy
 
2013-03-10 08:52:35 PM  
My non religion educated son wanted to know why all Mid Eastern people spoke with an English accent.
 
2013-03-10 09:20:07 PM  

sleeps in trees: My non religion educated son wanted to know why all Mid Eastern people spoke with an English accent.


You should let him read this.
 
2013-03-10 09:29:44 PM  

theorellior: sleeps in trees: My non religion educated son wanted to know why all Mid Eastern people spoke with an English accent.

You should let him read this.




Thank you. I had no answer for him because quite frankly it made no sense to me.
 
2013-03-10 10:04:05 PM  
I caught a few minutes of it. It's pretty funny when a fantasy series like Game of Thrones seems 10x more believable.
 
2013-03-10 10:53:59 PM  

man metaphysical: The disturbing thing is that all this is done to make $$$$

Everyone can go fark themselves


Don't think I haven't tried.
 
2013-03-10 11:00:43 PM  

Jim_Callahan: "The hand of God was on this," Burnett. "The edit came together perfectly, the actors came together perfectly, it just comes to life."

Yeah, when you're doing a made-for-TV miniseries for a specialty daytime TV equivalent cable station with a target audience of people that haven't even picked up on basic elements of their _own religion_ and will actually learn something from said miniseries, i.e. complete morons, and your target demo is such that you don't even have to get the racial makeup of your actors anywhere near period for your "historical" movie...

... things coming together isn't really miracle territory.  You're in one-take then go home for coffee territory to begin with there.

//Albeit, that said, good for you, I certainly won't begrudge a director or actor some pride when they do their job and it comes out well.  There's plenty to be proud of in a simple job done solidly, ask any plumber or bricklayer.


True - and I don't begrudge Corky the Retard's pride in the agglomeration of glitter and macaroni his mom has stuck up on the refrigerator. Doesn't mean it warrants respect as "art".
 
2013-03-10 11:09:32 PM  

Happy Hours: All of those things actually seem very remarkable.......if you believe them.

Okay, the wind could have just been a coincidence, but remember, this is the network which brought you the "I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens" guy.

And maybe - just maybe most of it wasn't filmed around the rocks where they did the crucifixion scene and they just happened to film that scene over a snake pit.

The more shiat I hear like this, the less I believe in God and I gotta tell you I'm already pretty far past not believing - at least in God as described by the Bible or any religion as we know it.


What's funny is, this is how "miracles" get started in the first place. You have an event tied to another event, which due to other circumstances seems remarkable. And since humans have this innate urge to seek causation--and in a primitive society it was usually spirits or gods--the event becomes a "miracle."

So a man gives a speech about "the winds of god" or whatever...and as if on cue, the wind begins to blow! To minds primed to believe that winds are caused by god, that means this man has some kind of connection with the wind-god. A guy goes off to sacrifice his son, because the customs of his tribe demand it; with a heavy heart he looks aside at the last minute and there's a sheep stuck in the bushes right next to the rock! Clearly this means god doesn't want him to kill his son!

Of course, we call these things "coincidences" nowadays; but they're still miracles IF the culture is of a kind and time that accepts coincidence as miracle. It's really all about timing.
 
2013-03-11 12:42:05 PM  
Puh. Leaze. Might this be referring to the self-same god who allowed evil into paradise, and then knowingly left his two beloved children with an agent of his immortal enemy? And then blamed THEM when they were logically led astray? And was so irrational that he decided to punish all of humanity as well? Like George Carlin said, this isn't the work of an all-knowing, all-powerful, almighty deity; it's the work of an office temp with a bad overbite.
 
2013-03-12 06:43:33 PM  
This show is one of the worst things I've ever watched in my life, which is saying a lot, because I've seen Gigli and Troll 2.
 
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