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(Cracked)   Here are nine simple tasks nobody can do right in commercials, because it IS that hard to do a sit-up or organize   (cracked.com) divider line 109
    More: Obvious, human skeleton  
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23398 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Mar 2013 at 1:51 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-10 10:38:27 AM
Just another illustration that commercials are aimed at the lowest common denominator. As time passes, fewer and fewer intelligent people watch TV.
 
2013-03-10 10:43:53 AM
 
2013-03-10 10:45:51 AM

Honest Bender: List articles suck.


But wait. All Cracked has is half-assed lists.

Oh.
 
2013-03-10 11:47:07 AM
I thought this picture was funny:
i.crackedcdn.com
 
2013-03-10 12:25:59 PM
 
2013-03-10 12:32:21 PM

Snarfangel: I thought this picture was funny:
[i.crackedcdn.com image 610x254]


I know *my* meat is pretty hard right about now...
 
2013-03-10 12:39:41 PM

xanadian: Snarfangel: I thought this picture was funny:
[i.crackedcdn.com image 610x254]

I know *my* meat is pretty hard right about now...


HEYOOOO
 
2013-03-10 12:39:54 PM
It's very demoralizing to watch some of these insane commercials.
 
2013-03-10 01:17:12 PM

Kittypie070: It's very demoralizing to watch some of these insane commercials.


tit pillows for $55 is AWESOMENESS
something to buy for all the women you know !!
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2013-03-10 01:22:17 PM
#7. Wear a Bra is there anything more difficult than breasts? They attract baby goats, punch you in the eye while trampolining, and there's got to be a better way to make homemade trail mix. Any amazing new bra commercial will tell you that a woman's body is a minefield of dumb bulges painfully poking through fasteners and cups. Some ladies have it so bad, all they can do is stand in one spot shrugging and fussing about the kind of bullshiat do-nothing Congress that would allow straps.


OK, that one made me chuckle ....but then again I am more concerned about getting those damned things off...
 
2013-03-10 01:37:23 PM

namatad: Kittypie070: It's very demoralizing to watch some of these insane commercials.

tit pillows for $55 is AWESOMENESS
something to buy for all the women you know !!


Pardon me but if one is minimally competent with a needle and thread and a cutesy piece of cloth and scissors and a sodapop-can shaped hunk of foam rubber one can make a titsquishycushion for like $3.
 
2013-03-10 01:55:30 PM
The people in those ads suffer from a serious neuromuscular disorder called Popeil's Palsy. It's insensitive to make fun of them.
 
2013-03-10 01:55:54 PM
That meatloaf tin actually looks like a good idea....
 
2013-03-10 01:56:17 PM
 
2013-03-10 02:00:28 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-10 02:00:55 PM
Ladies, if you need to buy something to separate your tits while you sleep, you're clearly doing something wrong

/most men would probably do it for free
 
2013-03-10 02:01:41 PM
ahh, seanbaby.  he was way funnier when i was high all the time but he's still pretty funny.  i forgive Cracked mostly for his 'articles'.
 
2013-03-10 02:01:50 PM
They touched on the helpless guy who can't clean but totally missed useless-husband-who-can't-fix-anything and father-who-doesn't-know-how-to-raise-children.
 
2013-03-10 02:02:13 PM
 
2013-03-10 02:09:49 PM
We'll never know, the powerful bread lobby keeps blocking his research.

blog.icuonlineweb.tv
 
2013-03-10 02:11:10 PM
The pharmaceutical commercials would be so much more entertaining if they followed those rules.
 
2013-03-10 02:11:50 PM
Seanbaby has diarrhea of the pen that rivals Ayn Rand sometimes, but he is still the funniest writer on Cracked.
 
2013-03-10 02:16:50 PM

fredklein: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TooIncompetentToOperateABl a nket [obvious warning: tvtropes link!]


Fark's going to be quiet for the next 45 minutes - 3 hours.
 
2013-03-10 02:18:14 PM
FTA:  kicking and screaming through a situp like Steven Seagal escaping a mermaid costume.


this line made me lol
 
2013-03-10 02:19:31 PM
Here's something ELSE nobody can ever do correctly in a commercial..... Swipe their credit card correctly (magnetic strip down).

Seriously, look for it.
 
2013-03-10 02:24:04 PM
I love the chick with the meatloaf...all she had to do was raise the spatula straight up and she would have had a perfect slice, but she gave it a little twist to challenge herself.
 
2013-03-10 02:25:54 PM

Flint Ironstag: That meatloaf tin actually looks like a good idea....


That's what I thought as well. Not so much because the meatloaf sticks to the pan, but it's a convenient way to drain off the fat.
 
2013-03-10 02:30:58 PM
chewing food with the mouth closed.
 
2013-03-10 02:35:00 PM
My new fav is the idiot who jams the Qtip in his ear and exclaims "OWWW!" loud as hell.
 
2013-03-10 02:36:02 PM
The Kush costs $55.  I wonder if that's so women just think it's a good idea and then opt for the obvious cheaper solution.
 
2013-03-10 02:37:42 PM
As was touched upon in the article, my favorite infomercial impossible task is winding up a garden hose.

JUST FOCUS FOR TWO MINUTES AND USE SOME BASIC HAND-EYE COORDINATION, JEEZ
 
2013-03-10 02:43:21 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: As was touched upon in the article, my favorite infomercial impossible task is winding up a garden hose.

JUST FOCUS FOR TWO MINUTES AND USE SOME BASIC HAND-EYE COORDINATION, JEEZ


Wind it? I just toss mine between the air conditioner and the fence.
 
2013-03-10 02:51:32 PM

milowitz: My new fav is the idiot who jams the Qtip in his ear and exclaims "OWWW!" loud as hell.


I opened that link just for that.
 
2013-03-10 02:52:17 PM

Hagbardr: Wind it? I just toss mine between the air conditioner and the fence.


Or that, too.

I mean... it's not the mentally exhausting task that commercials have made it out to be.
 
2013-03-10 02:54:41 PM
i47.tinypic.com
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2013-03-10 02:54:51 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: As was touched upon in the article, my favorite infomercial impossible task is winding up a garden hose.

JUST FOCUS FOR TWO MINUTES AND USE SOME BASIC HAND-EYE COORDINATION, JEEZ


But for only 3 payments of $29.95 you can be the first on your block to show off with one of these ...

t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-03-10 02:55:46 PM

St_Francis_P: Just another illustration that commercials are aimed at the lowest common denominator. As time passes, fewer and fewer intelligent people watch TV.


I stopped 3 years ago. I don't know whether that makes me smart, or "faux intelligentsia.":
 
2013-03-10 02:56:17 PM
Q-Tips and collenders: High-Tech Sh*t!
 
2013-03-10 02:57:15 PM
I used to love infomercials as an insomniac preteen. The paint remover! It was farking miraculous! To this day I see a piece of crap furniture in the alley or at a resale shop and think "Oh! The possibilities!" Nothing wrong with a little optimism.
 
2013-03-10 02:58:13 PM

Pud: But for only 3 payments of $29.95 you can be the first on your block to show off with one of these ...

t0.gstatic.com


It's only worth it if I can trick that out with a couple Blu-ray players and 20' rims.
 
2013-03-10 02:58:17 PM
Also, all kitchen devices are time-wasters when you factor in cleanup unless you got a family of 12.
 
2013-03-10 02:58:56 PM
I'm not gonna lie, I got a half chubby from watching the Kush commercial.
 
2013-03-10 02:59:10 PM

mbillips: The people in those ads suffer from a serious neuromuscular disorder called Popeil's Palsy. It's insensitive to make fun of them.


I don't have anything to add to this conversation, because I can't get past what I bolded.
 
2013-03-10 03:00:49 PM

Kittypie070: namatad: Kittypie070: It's very demoralizing to watch some of these insane commercials.

tit pillows for $55 is AWESOMENESS
something to buy for all the women you know !!

Pardon me but if one is minimally competent with a needle and thread and a cutesy piece of cloth and scissors and a sodapop-can shaped hunk of foam rubber one can make a titsquishycushion for like $3.


I was TOTALLY joking about paying $55 for a titty pillow!! LOLOL AWESOME was the give away.
And more importantly, um, is this something that women need? I havent heard a lot of complaining about it ... but I only date crazy women.
 
2013-03-10 03:12:03 PM

milowitz: My new fav is the idiot who jams the Qtip in his ear and exclaims "OWWW!" loud as hell.


Dear sweet Jeebus THIS! And what's worse is, rather than putting POSITIVE pressure on your eardrum by pressing it with a Q-tip, they want you to put NEGATIVE pressure on your eardrum by sticking a mini-vacuum in your ear.  (Assuming, of course, that it would work, which I'd bet the estate of Billy Mays it wouldn't.)  As if pressure is miraculously better that way.
 
2013-03-10 03:13:15 PM
Trying to read a Cracked article is about a painful as watching that morning show with Cathy Lee and Yoda.
Who is that woman(?) anyway? Was she hired just so the show would have someone that would make Cathy look attractive/good?
 
2013-03-10 03:14:24 PM
Overall Rating:
5 / 5

Bestest thing in the whole world
January 3, 2013
By KennyAndtheCaptains
from Brisvegas AUS

Pros: it's comfortable, it's relaxing, it's soothing, it gives ample support
Cons: it has started to smell like cheese

"I love this soooo much I don't just use it when I sleep. Sometimes I even keep it there when I go shopping or on a night out to the clubs
Love it...Really really love it"
Would you recommend this product to a friend? Yes
5out of 9found this review helpful.
 
2013-03-10 03:15:31 PM
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-10 03:17:14 PM
A wallet with a zipper?  I guess that's OK, if you're gay.
 
2013-03-10 03:23:50 PM

ghare: St_Francis_P: Just another illustration that commercials are aimed at the lowest common denominator. As time passes, fewer and fewer intelligent people watch TV.

I stopped 3 years ago. I don't know whether that makes me smart, or "faux intelligentsia.":


Not sure it makes you either, necessarily. All we can reliably say is you quit watching TV.
 
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