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(The Sun)   Not News: Happy couple get married. Fark: She's sixty-one and he's eight (w/pics)   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 68
    More: Sappy, marriage certificate  
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20594 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Mar 2013 at 1:13 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-09 10:35:40 PM
in before the WHARBARBLGARBLE of child molesters saying they should be able to have sex with minors
 
2013-03-09 10:42:42 PM
So I guess his grandfather is dying and wanted his grandson to get married before he died, so the family friend agreed to be part of the ceremony for him?

That or the grandfather is freshly dead and the kid was obsessed by the geas laid upon him.
 
2013-03-09 10:52:04 PM
She'll be taking alimony out of his lunch money before you know it.
 
2013-03-09 10:55:13 PM
I hope the prenup covers dunkaroos
 
2013-03-10 12:32:14 AM
Such happy photos.
 
2013-03-10 01:11:58 AM
Wat.
 
2013-03-10 01:22:24 AM
Is that the biatch stole my fish kid?
 
2013-03-10 01:22:45 AM
What's the best thing about sex with sixty one year olds?

There's SIXTY of them!!!
 
2013-03-10 01:25:43 AM
Ahhhhh, the sanctity of make believe marriage.

/step on a crack and break yo mamas back.
//throw salt over your shoulder.
///forgot to pray today? then someone close and dear to you will die in 7 days.

////silly superstitions are so farked up, especially when they cost the perp many hundreds of dollars.
/Oh and my dick can cure all your medical problems. just send $5000 dollars as a bank draft, plus travel expenses. chicks only.
 
2013-03-10 01:27:59 AM
Little Sanele Masilela got hitched in front of 100 guests to mum-of-five Helen Shabangu, who already has a husband.

"I'm happy that I married Helen. When I'm older I will marry a lady my own age."


See? Teh gays have totally destroyed the sanctity of marriage. Happy now?
 
2013-03-10 01:28:41 AM
At least it was a heterosexual marriage.
 
2013-03-10 01:29:19 AM

sheep snorter: Ahhhhh, the sanctity of make believe marriage.


Dammit, beat me by 2 minutes. Tiny fist, etc.
 
2013-03-10 01:30:25 AM
When I was six, I gave a costume engagement ring to my pediatrician's nurse.  Everyone thought it was adorable.  A year later, she died of brain cancer.
 
2013-03-10 01:30:47 AM
I didn't realize that in some countries it's okay if "it's what the ancestors wanted".  Please update the grid.
 
2013-03-10 01:31:04 AM
An article from The Sun about freaky foreigners doing freaky things with no citations or sources?

Seems legit.
 
2013-03-10 01:34:32 AM

BarkingUnicorn: When I was six, I gave a costume engagement ring to my pediatrician's nurse.  Everyone thought it was adorable.  A year later, she died of brain cancer.


you killed her, you bastard.  I hope she wasn't cute, else you're a double-bastard.
 
2013-03-10 01:34:47 AM

doglover: So I guess his grandfather is dying and wanted his grandson to get married before he died, so the family friend agreed to be part of the ceremony for him?


that sums it up, they just wanted to make the grandfather happy.
 
2013-03-10 01:38:58 AM

What_Would_Jimi_Do: that sums it up, they just wanted to make the grandfather happy.


My grandfather was pissed off that my hair was long.

/so I got an earring
//he still lasted another decade
///I was written out of the will but I think I survived not receiving 1/8th of a $10k estate
 
2013-03-10 01:40:31 AM
Mohammed is ok with this.
 
2013-03-10 01:44:14 AM
They've got a long way to go to beat the Indian villagers who hold a wedding for a couple of dogs, goats or frogs in order to stop a drought. Droughts. How the Hell do they work?

In China, marriage is so important that they'll pay a bride to marry a dead ancestor. In fact, there was a thread on Fark in the last couple of days about "ghost brides", dug up to be married off (presumably to dead ancestors). Well, in a country where bride-napping is still common, why spare the deceased?

My ancestors can go to Hell (well, not literally) if they expect me to marry just to please them. I'll marry out of spite if I have to!
 
2013-03-10 01:53:56 AM

IamAwake: BarkingUnicorn: When I was six, I gave a costume engagement ring to my pediatrician's nurse.  Everyone thought it was adorable.  A year later, she died of brain cancer.

you killed her, you bastard.  I hope she wasn't cute, else you're a double-bastard.


Coincidentally, my babysitter died of cancer at the age of 15, a few months after I kicked her shin.
 
2013-03-10 01:54:47 AM
 
2013-03-10 01:56:29 AM
Oh geez... I was reading a school teacher was thrown in jail and now this. THIS!
 
2013-03-10 01:56:41 AM
Because I saw ya at the check out line,
You dropped your coupons and you were looking fine
Sophisticated, and so mature,
I couldn't really care if you're 50 or 74!
Because I want ya, And I need ya
Hey Boomin' Granny you could be my teacher
And I could be your pet
Listen old lady I'ma make ya sweat!
I know I'm younger, and you're much older
You look so nice on my Chevy Nova
I'm gonna take her to the low rider show, and flaunt ya
I gotta tell ya Lady I said I want ya,
Because I need you Boomin' Granny
Boomin' Granny, Boomin' Fanny
Boomin' Granny, Good And Plenty
 
2013-03-10 01:59:58 AM
Goodness. Now I'm thinking of all the cleverly horrible requests that my grandfather would come up with, if he had the power of grandfathers in these places.
 
2013-03-10 03:03:18 AM

brantgoose: In China, marriage is so important that they'll pay a bride to marry a dead ancestor. In fact, there was a thread on Fark in the last couple of days about "ghost brides", dug up to be married off (presumably to dead ancestors). Well, in a country where bride-napping is still common, why spare the deceased?


Minor thread-jack... ghost marriages are an old tradition in the lower delta region of China, but not for the benefit of men.  They allow a woman to "marry" a dead young man, and thereby
a) not be an old spinster living her father's house, which will ultimately become her brother's house; and
b) have the benefit of being covered by the resources of the dead man's family that she just married into.

It's way less sinister than Westerners assume from the name, much like many gender-related practices in southern China.
 
2013-03-10 03:05:16 AM
I guess I was the only one thinking the groom was born on Feb 29 at some point in the past, making him some small age on paper, though in reality, much older. Then I click on the link and find that there are very odd customs still in practice in the world.
 
2013-03-10 03:08:07 AM

BarkingUnicorn: IamAwake: BarkingUnicorn: When I was six, I gave a costume engagement ring to my pediatrician's nurse.  Everyone thought it was adorable.  A year later, she died of brain cancer.

you killed her, you bastard.  I hope she wasn't cute, else you're a double-bastard.

Coincidentally, my babysitter died of cancer at the age of 15, a few months after I kicked her shin.


You should consider sending some emails to Glenn Beck or Sheriff Joe. Sounds like either a nice compliment or a sharp rebuke should work fine.
 
2013-03-10 03:13:08 AM

HotWingAgenda: brantgoose: In China, marriage is so important that they'll pay a bride to marry a dead ancestor. In fact, there was a thread on Fark in the last couple of days about "ghost brides", dug up to be married off (presumably to dead ancestors). Well, in a country where bride-napping is still common, why spare the deceased?

Minor thread-jack... ghost marriages are an old tradition in the lower delta region of China, but not for the benefit of men.  They allow a woman to "marry" a dead young man, and thereby
a) not be an old spinster living her father's house, which will ultimately become her brother's house; and
b) have the benefit of being covered by the resources of the dead man's family that she just married into.

It's way less sinister than Westerners assume from the name, much like many gender-related practices in southern China.


Interesting -- sort of like a posthumous marriage (still allowed in France, at least -- but you have to be able to prove that you and the deceased actually intended to get married). Is the deceased newlywed husband supposed to get any sort of benefit in the Next World or is it a one-way sort of thing? Right now I'm envisioning a scenario where a young man from a wealthy family drops dead and young women are competing to be his posthumous bride so they can get a share of the inheritance.
 
2013-03-10 03:18:09 AM
farm9.staticflickr.com

Madonna, please adopt me!!!
 
2013-03-10 03:51:07 AM

RenownedCurator: HotWingAgenda: brantgoose: In China, marriage is so important that they'll pay a bride to marry a dead ancestor. In fact, there was a thread on Fark in the last couple of days about "ghost brides", dug up to be married off (presumably to dead ancestors). Well, in a country where bride-napping is still common, why spare the deceased?

Minor thread-jack... ghost marriages are an old tradition in the lower delta region of China, but not for the benefit of men.  They allow a woman to "marry" a dead young man, and thereby
a) not be an old spinster living her father's house, which will ultimately become her brother's house; and
b) have the benefit of being covered by the resources of the dead man's family that she just married into.

It's way less sinister than Westerners assume from the name, much like many gender-related practices in southern China.

Interesting -- sort of like a posthumous marriage (still allowed in France, at least -- but you have to be able to prove that you and the deceased actually intended to get married). Is the deceased newlywed husband supposed to get any sort of benefit in the Next World or is it a one-way sort of thing? Right now I'm envisioning a scenario where a young man from a wealthy family drops dead and young women are competing to be his posthumous bride so they can get a share of the inheritance.


Well, I didn't really study the religious implications, because that's not really my bag.  But rather than women competing for an inheritance of property like they would in the west, the bride of the ghost just seems to sort of get a recognized spot in the ghost's family.  It's a method to allow a woman to get the social security of a widow, in a society where men have always been in short supply.  As China modernizes (from a Western standpoint), the whole thing becomes irrelevant, because a woman can support herself without having to be part of a family unit.
 
2013-03-10 04:01:23 AM
WTF?
 
2013-03-10 04:09:43 AM
Pretty good looking, for sixty-one. Better than most of the cradle-robbing teachers half her age.
 
2013-03-10 04:27:21 AM
In other news The Sun is in need of a proofreader.
 
2013-03-10 04:34:52 AM
www.democratic-republicans.us

Approves


Link
 
2013-03-10 04:39:05 AM
Stupid kid! She is going to EAT you!
 
2013-03-10 05:20:15 AM

SilentStrider: Wat.


I figured this was going to be a story about tortoises...
 
2013-03-10 05:51:50 AM
liquid gold diggers love liquid gold...
 
2013-03-10 05:52:17 AM

opiumpoopy: SilentStrider: Wat.

I figured this was going to be a story about tortoises...


This is what I was hoping...

This story almost makes me wish they'd bring back the apartheid government for about a week to put a stop to this... Since obviously the existing government isn't going to do anything about it.
 
2013-03-10 06:07:47 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com

Eh, it's been done.
 
2013-03-10 06:19:44 AM
Not News: Happy couple get married. Fark: She's sixty-one and he's eight (w/pics)

And 61+8 = ?
 
2013-03-10 06:24:23 AM

sephjnr: Not News: Happy couple get married. Fark: She's sixty-one and he's eight (w/pics)

And 61+8 = ?



gifs.gifbin.com
 
2013-03-10 07:11:50 AM

Makh: Such happy creepy photos.

 
2013-03-10 07:15:19 AM
img.thesun.co.uk


What. The. F**k.  0_o
 
2013-03-10 07:17:26 AM
How many times does 8 go into 61?
 
2013-03-10 07:18:52 AM

BarkingUnicorn: IamAwake: BarkingUnicorn: When I was six, I gave a costume engagement ring to my pediatrician's nurse.  Everyone thought it was adorable.  A year later, she died of brain cancer.

you killed her, you bastard.  I hope she wasn't cute, else you're a double-bastard.

Coincidentally, my babysitter died of cancer at the age of 15, a few months after I kicked her shin.


Holy shiat you're cancer man!
 
2013-03-10 08:22:44 AM

Fluorescent Testicle: An article from The Sun about freaky foreigners doing freaky things with no citations or sources?

Seems legit.


Yes. I have no doubt that this is totes for reals.
 
2013-03-10 08:55:49 AM

Jello Fever: I didn't realize that in some countries it's okay if "it's what the ancestors wanted".  Please update the grid.


Africa.
 
2013-03-10 09:27:56 AM
Sixty-one ?  what the F am I reading?  6-1
 
2013-03-10 09:49:21 AM

ElPresidente: How many times does 8 go into 61?


As many times as the ancestors want.
 
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