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(Hollywood.com)   The 7 most ridiculous things Terrence Howard has ever said (whittled down from a list of 1,377,642)   (hollywood.com) divider line 43
    More: Weird  
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5999 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Mar 2013 at 6:52 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-09 02:17:42 PM  
9.0 on the Douchebag-meter
 
2013-03-09 05:48:16 PM  
#1.) "Next time, baby." - Terrence Howard on the possibility of appearing in Iron Man 2
 
2013-03-09 07:03:06 PM  
"Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean."

WTF?
 
2013-03-09 07:05:35 PM  

ReapTheChaos: "Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean."

WTF?


That. WTF indeed.
 
2013-03-09 07:08:01 PM  

NateAsbestos: ReapTheChaos: "Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean."

WTF?

That. WTF indeed.


Actually, I agree with that and a lot of women first brush the shiat crumbs off with toilet paper, and then go for the moisturizing clean of the baby knot to ensure anal freshness.

It is pretty common.
 
2013-03-09 07:08:02 PM  
Of course nobody at fark will understand him; they're all racist here
 
2013-03-09 07:20:52 PM  
I loved him in Boyz N Tha Hood!!!!
 
2013-03-09 07:22:25 PM  
"There aren't enough black guys with molester mustaches. Let's fix that."
 
2013-03-09 07:30:46 PM  
What is a Terrence Howard and why am I supposed to care about it?
 
2013-03-09 07:32:52 PM  

Assimilate This: What is a Terrence Howard and why am I supposed to care about it?


He is a pimp, and life is decidedly hard out there for him.
 
2013-03-09 07:40:22 PM  

theflatline: NateAsbestos: ReapTheChaos: "Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean."

WTF?

That. WTF indeed.

Actually, I agree with that and a lot of women first brush the shiat crumbs off with toilet paper, and then go for the moisturizing clean of the baby knot to ensure anal freshness.

It is pretty common.


i agree as well baby wipes leaves you feeling refreshed
 
2013-03-09 07:43:54 PM  
If he doesn't have sex outside of marriage, why does he care about their hygiene so much?
 
2013-03-09 07:46:19 PM  

Glitchwerks: If he doesn't have sex outside of marriage, why does he care about their hygiene so much?


That's what I was wondering when I read that.

STOP WORRYING ABOUT MY JUNK IF YOU'RE NOT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO IT.
 
2013-03-09 07:46:46 PM  

theflatline: NateAsbestos: ReapTheChaos: "Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean."

WTF?

That. WTF indeed.

Actually, I agree with that and a lot of women first brush the shiat crumbs off with toilet paper, and then go for the moisturizing clean of the baby knot to ensure anal freshness.

It is pretty common.


After shiatting my intestines out last Monday thanks to the norovirus, I was quite thankful that my wife has baby wipes on the toilet to assist me with the cleanup. Toilet paper alone can't deal with the anal geysers caused by that demonic virus.
 
2013-03-09 07:47:17 PM  
why did he say iron man killed his career?
i know he wasn't asked back for the sequel, but i feel as though i am missing something here.

he sounds like a bit of a a tool
but not evil or anything
really.
 
2013-03-09 07:55:45 PM  
The music thing isn't really all that strange. And he seems to be right about Chris Brown and Rianna. Not about Chris being a great guy, just them getting back together.
 
2013-03-09 07:58:41 PM  

Mad_Radhu: After shiatting my intestines out last Monday thanks to the norovirus, I was quite thankful that my wife has baby wipes on the toilet to assist me with the cleanup. Toilet paper alone can't deal with the anal geysers caused by that demonic virus.


I'm hairier than a yak back there and I can spend 45 minutes wiping through two rolls of triple-ply and still have paper come back brown. Take a shower instead. That's what I do.
Or 3D print an exact inverse of your butt crack and make a kind of magic poop scraper.
 
2013-03-09 07:58:51 PM  

mrEdude: why did he say iron man killed his career?
i know he wasn't asked back for the sequel, but i feel as though i am missing something here.

he sounds like a bit of a a tool
but not evil or anything
really.


What I understand of the situation is that he got paid a lot for the first Iron Man, but gave a lackluster performance.  They invited him back for 2, but he refused to take a pay cut.  Since they replaced him everybody treats it like a stain on his career, which means he thinks he's entitled to act like even more of a douche about it.

/if I'm remembering it wrong, feel free to correct it
 
2013-03-09 08:00:51 PM  

Arumat: mrEdude: why did he say iron man killed his career?
i know he wasn't asked back for the sequel, but i feel as though i am missing something here.

he sounds like a bit of a a tool
but not evil or anything
really.

What I understand of the situation is that he got paid a lot for the first Iron Man, but gave a lackluster performance.  They invited him back for 2, but he refused to take a pay cut.  Since they replaced him everybody treats it like a stain on his career, which means he thinks he's entitled to act like even more of a douche about it.

/if I'm remembering it wrong, feel free to correct it


That sounds about right. I actually liked him in the first Iron Man though, so I always assumed it had more to do with not wanting to take a pay cut.
 
2013-03-09 08:08:01 PM  

Arumat: mrEdude: why did he say iron man killed his career?
i know he wasn't asked back for the sequel, but i feel as though i am missing something here.

he sounds like a bit of a a tool
but not evil or anything
really.

What I understand of the situation is that he got paid a lot for the first Iron Man, but gave a lackluster performance.  They invited him back for 2, but he refused to take a pay cut.  Since they replaced him everybody treats it like a stain on his career, which means he thinks he's entitled to act like even more of a douche about it.

/if I'm remembering it wrong, feel free to correct it


No, you pretty much got it right.  And now, he's looking at the obscene amounts of money that the Avengers and the Iron Man series is making and going 'omfg I could have been a part of that.'

He's a fool, but I did like his efforts in Dead Man Down.  A good movie, I highly recommend it.
 
2013-03-09 08:08:13 PM  

Tencolin: Arumat: mrEdude: why did he say iron man killed his career?
i know he wasn't asked back for the sequel, but i feel as though i am missing something here.

he sounds like a bit of a a tool
but not evil or anything
really.

What I understand of the situation is that he got paid a lot for the first Iron Man, but gave a lackluster performance.  They invited him back for 2, but he refused to take a pay cut.  Since they replaced him everybody treats it like a stain on his career, which means he thinks he's entitled to act like even more of a douche about it.

/if I'm remembering it wrong, feel free to correct it

That sounds about right. I actually liked him in the first Iron Man though, so I always assumed it had more to do with not wanting to take a pay cut.


The pay cut was really just a backhanded way to get rid of him. He was a complete and total asshole and the studio didn't want to deal with his diva attitude any more.
 
2013-03-09 08:13:57 PM  
We get it. He's black!!!
 
2013-03-09 08:19:29 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: Mad_Radhu: After shiatting my intestines out last Monday thanks to the norovirus, I was quite thankful that my wife has baby wipes on the toilet to assist me with the cleanup. Toilet paper alone can't deal with the anal geysers caused by that demonic virus.

I'm hairier than a yak back there and I can spend 45 minutes wiping through two rolls of triple-ply and still have paper come back brown. Take a shower instead. That's what I do.
Or 3D print an exact inverse of your butt crack and make a kind of magic poop scraper.


Ummm, yeah. Thanks for sharing that.

I have a friend who fixed up a kitchen sink-type sprayer to run from his bathroom sink to the toilet for that refreshing bidet kind of clean, but with warm water.
 
2013-03-09 08:33:53 PM  

theflatline: Actually, I agree with that and a lot of women first brush the shiat crumbs off with toilet paper, and then go for the moisturizing clean of the baby knot to ensure anal freshness.

It is pretty common.


i1.squidoocdn.com
Not a woman, but does believe in cleaning out the stink nuggets.
 
2013-03-09 08:36:40 PM  
Listerine Feminine Wipes
 
2013-03-09 08:42:36 PM  
Way too much sharing of info on wiping technique dos and don't for me.
 
2013-03-09 08:47:53 PM  

acad1228: Quantum Apostrophe: Mad_Radhu: After shiatting my intestines out last Monday thanks to the norovirus, I was quite thankful that my wife has baby wipes on the toilet to assist me with the cleanup. Toilet paper alone can't deal with the anal geysers caused by that demonic virus.

I'm hairier than a yak back there and I can spend 45 minutes wiping through two rolls of triple-ply and still have paper come back brown. Take a shower instead. That's what I do.
Or 3D print an exact inverse of your butt crack and make a kind of magic poop scraper.

Ummm, yeah. Thanks for sharing that.

I have a friend who fixed up a kitchen sink-type sprayer to run from his bathroom sink to the toilet for that refreshing bidet kind of clean, but with warm water.


Most bidets have warm water.
 
2013-03-09 08:51:28 PM  
Hm.  Interesting.

Now who the f*ck is this jackass?
 
2013-03-09 08:52:22 PM  

ReapTheChaos: "Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean."

WTF?


"ELLE: Wet sinks?
W: Yeah, like a wet sink. You don't wipe the sink after you use it? Dry it off! And if she's got only dry toilet paper and no baby wipes next to the toilet. You ain't got no baby wipes?
ELLE: I've heard about this particular deal breaker before. Why is that a big deal to you?
W: Here's proof on why people should have baby wipes. Get some chocolate, wipe it on a wooden floor, and then try to get it up with some dry towels. You're going to get chocolate in the cracks. That's why you gotta get them baby wipes."

http://www.celebiatchy.com/153603/william_thinks_women_who_have_condo ms _are_tacky/
 
2013-03-09 08:59:25 PM  
Is this guy famous for something other than being an idiot?
 
2013-03-09 09:01:32 PM  

BrianGriffin: Way too much sharing of info on wiping technique dos and don't for me.


All I can say is thank Krukru for black underwear.
 
2013-03-09 09:16:39 PM  

Cargo: Hm.  Interesting.

Now who the f*ck is this jackass?


He played Don Cheadle in the first Iron Man movie.
/The more you know!
 
2013-03-09 09:34:07 PM  
acad1228:

I have a friend who fixed up a kitchen sink-type sprayer to run from his bathroom sink to the toilet for that refreshing bidet kind of clean, but with warm water.

Those are standard in all bathrooms in Thailand.  And they're wonderful
 
2013-03-09 09:40:20 PM  

MNguy: acad1228:

I have a friend who fixed up a kitchen sink-type sprayer to run from his bathroom sink to the toilet for that refreshing bidet kind of clean, but with warm water.

Those are standard in all bathrooms in Thailand.  And they're wonderful


Yes, a lot of the plumbing in Thailand is not what you expected.
 
2013-03-09 10:24:57 PM  

downtownkid: MNguy: acad1228:

I have a friend who fixed up a kitchen sink-type sprayer to run from his bathroom sink to the toilet for that refreshing bidet kind of clean, but with warm water.

Those are standard in all bathrooms in Thailand.  And they're wonderful

Yes, a lot of the plumbing in Thailand is not what you expected.


Iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg
 
2013-03-09 11:57:17 PM  
They really couldn't come up with a seventh one more ridiculous than what he said about his ex-wife? That's a pretty big drop-off from the other six.
 
2013-03-10 12:14:44 AM  

Robert1966: They really couldn't come up with a seventh one more ridiculous than what he said about his ex-wife? That's a pretty big drop-off from the other six.


Going by his other quote, if he was really devoted he would've gotten plastic surgery to look more like her.
 
2013-03-10 12:28:21 AM  
Don't know if I disagree. And the guy makes diamonds.
 
2013-03-10 12:40:51 AM  

BrianGriffin: Way too much sharing of info on wiping technique dos and don't for me.


I'm more interested in pre-poop preparation techniques. Personally, when I feel a stomper brewin', I go through a rigorous 12-step mental exercise regimen perfected by Shaolin monks during the Tang Dynasty, in which you prepare your mind to become one with your anus. Then, I to try to relax with some yoga for usually around 15 minutes while in the bathroom before meditation. All in all, one crap for me takes nearly 2 hours but it is truly an enlightening and spiritual experience.
 
2013-03-10 04:52:26 AM  
I just told my wife that I've been using our daughters baby wipes to clean my ass for the last six months. So I'm really getting a kick out of these replies...
 
2013-03-10 08:30:25 AM  

emonk: ReapTheChaos: "Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean."

WTF?

"ELLE: Wet sinks?
W: Yeah, like a wet sink. You don't wipe the sink after you use it? Dry it off! And if she's got only dry toilet paper and no baby wipes next to the toilet. You ain't got no baby wipes?
ELLE: I've heard about this particular deal breaker before. Why is that a big deal to you?
W: Here's proof on why people should have baby wipes. Get some chocolate, wipe it on a wooden floor, and then try to get it up with some dry towels. You're going to get chocolate in the cracks. That's why you gotta get them baby wipes."

http://www.celebiatchy.com/153603/william_thinks_women_who_have_condo ms _are_tacky/


....*throws out half eaten Snickers bar*

I had been enjoying it til I read that....
 
2013-03-10 09:43:39 PM  

Killer Cars: BrianGriffin: Way too much sharing of info on wiping technique dos and don't for me.

I'm more interested in pre-poop preparation techniques. Personally, when I feel a stomper brewin', I go through a rigorous 12-step mental exercise regimen perfected by Shaolin monks during the Tang Dynasty, in which you prepare your mind to become one with your anus. Then, I to try to relax with some yoga for usually around 15 minutes while in the bathroom before meditation. All in all, one crap for me takes nearly 2 hours but it is truly an enlightening and spiritual experience.


I prefer the tradition SubGenius Excremediation.
 
2013-03-12 07:30:28 AM  

Killer Cars: I go through a rigorous 12-step mental exercise regimen perfected by Shaolin monks during the Tang Dynasty, in which you prepare your mind to become one with your anus.


Gotta be careful with that meditation stuff.  I know several politicians who tried this and wound up putting their heads their instead of their minds.
 
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