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(The Duffel Blog)   Ever wonder what is happening with the Fort Hood shooter Nidal Hasan? Well he's been promoted to Lieutenant Colonel for one thing   (duffelblog.com) divider line 83
    More: Satire, Nidal Hasan, Fort Hood, Legion of Merit, Fort Leavenworth, Army Medical Center, personnel management, Leavenworth  
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8098 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Mar 2013 at 3:24 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-09 08:11:55 AM  
<i>Unfortunately the files have been moved to a computer system that is not yet Y2K compliant. This might have affected the records of hundreds of personnel, including Hasan.</i>

Oh FMD.
 
2013-03-09 08:15:18 AM  
Alleged Fort Hood Shooter Nidal Hasan Receives Promotion, Legion Of Merit

This shouldn't surprise anyone that's been keeping up with things under Hussein "Pardon Me" Bow-and-Scrape 0bama. Over and over we've seen Muslim terrorists quietly pardoned, or even rewarded. 0bama has been clever enough to hide his Muslim sympathies in public, but the observant patriot can easily see the direction he's taking our country.
 
2013-03-09 08:17:24 AM  
Mitch McConnell, that you?
 
2013-03-09 08:23:42 AM  
And here's the kicker -

Luckily, said Hewitt, the error was caught in time to prevent the promotion of SPC Bradley Manning, who allegedly leaked over 40,000 top-secret military and diplomatic documents to the WikiLeaks website in the largest confidential document dump in American history. His adverse action flag was restored before he could attain the rank of Sergeant.

So the guy who shoots and killed -literally shoots and kills- fellow soldiers on a US base gets awards and promotions, but a guy who did not does not.
 
2013-03-09 08:24:49 AM  
Uh, guys...this is a satire site. Carry on.
 
2013-03-09 08:26:34 AM  

St_Francis_P: Uh, guys...this is a satire site. Carry on.


Aww, I was waiting to see how many Farkers bit on this one.
 
2013-03-09 08:27:31 AM  

St_Francis_P: Alleged Fort Hood Shooter Nidal Hasan Receives Promotion, Legion Of Merit

This shouldn't surprise anyone that's been keeping up with things under Hussein "Pardon Me" Bow-and-Scrape 0bama. Over and over we've seen Muslim terrorists quietly pardoned, or even rewarded. 0bama has been clever enough to hide his Muslim sympathies in public, but the observant patriot can easily see the direction he's taking our country.


I head that he is giving Osama the Presidential Medal of freedom award. truly Historys greatest monster.
 
2013-03-09 08:28:36 AM  

MmmmBacon: St_Francis_P: Uh, guys...this is a satire site. Carry on.

Aww, I was waiting to see how many Farkers bit on this one.


*sigh*

I'm usually better than this. I need coffee.
 
2013-03-09 08:29:32 AM  

MmmmBacon: St_Francis_P: Uh, guys...this is a satire site. Carry on.

Aww, I was waiting to see how many Farkers bit on this one.


Don't worry; if it goes green, everyone will ignore my comment and be outraged anyway.
 
2013-03-09 08:32:30 AM  

St_Francis_P: MmmmBacon: St_Francis_P: Uh, guys...this is a satire site. Carry on.

Aww, I was waiting to see how many Farkers bit on this one.

Don't worry; if it goes green, everyone will ignore my comment and be outraged anyway.


True enough.
 
2013-03-09 08:35:43 AM  

St_Francis_P: Uh, guys...this is a satire site. Carry on.


It's funnier when you don't tell them.

The comments on that site are awesome.  Even better since it's Facebook and all of their "friends" can see how deluded they are.
 
2013-03-09 08:41:03 AM  

BunkyBrewman: It's funnier when you don't tell them.


It's even funnier when you try to tell them, but they ignore you and rant.
 
2013-03-09 08:45:25 AM  

St_Francis_P: Uh, guys...this is a satire site. Carry on.


You were the kid in pre-school running around telling everybody there was no Easter Bunny, weren't you?
 
2013-03-09 08:46:59 AM  

flucto: St_Francis_P: Uh, guys...this is a satire site. Carry on.

You were the kid in pre-school running around telling everybody there was no Easter Bunny, weren't you?


Guilty as charged.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-09 09:28:12 AM  
Hasan's personnel record was not negatively flagged by the chain of command and that by regulation the "Army had no choice but to award promotion to the service member."

Above some rank promotions need Senate approval, which has occasionally been withheld when the officer was naughty.
 
2013-03-09 10:00:41 AM  
Sigh, gullible people are gullible.  I shall pound my fist in faux rage.
 
2013-03-09 10:09:36 AM  
Please delete all comments and post this to the main page. I need a laugh today :)
 
2013-03-09 10:12:59 AM  

NewportBarGuy: Please delete all comments and post this to the main page. I need a laugh today :)


I wish, so very much so.
 
2013-03-09 10:34:47 AM  

flucto: You were the kid in pre-school running around telling everybody there was no Easter Bunny, weren't you?


Gee, thanks for ruining it for me. This will be a sad Easter.
 
2013-03-09 10:35:45 AM  

NewportBarGuy: Please delete all comments and post this to the main page. I need a laugh today :)


This times a million.
 
2013-03-09 10:37:02 AM  

NewportBarGuy: Please delete all comments and post this to the main page. I need a laugh today :)


Please do this.
 
2013-03-09 10:37:58 AM  

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: Gee, thanks for ruining it for me. This will be a sad Easter.


I didn't say he was right!
 
2013-03-09 12:07:16 PM  

flucto: NewportBarGuy: Please delete all comments and post this to the main page. I need a laugh today :)

Please do this.


Mods, One more vote for the motion on the floor.  Please do this.  We need the LULZ.
 
2013-03-09 12:10:17 PM  

Fear_and_Loathing: NewportBarGuy: Please delete all comments and post this to the main page. I need a laugh today :)

I wish, so very much so.


Do it!
 
2013-03-09 12:14:09 PM  
Farkback:

We have several requests to delete all comments on this thread before it goes green.  It really should be worth a laugh--the very laugh that the admin got by greenlighting it.

Hugs and kisses,
doyner
 
2013-03-09 12:31:13 PM  
Now they changed the tag to satire.
 
2013-03-09 12:46:13 PM  

violentsalvation: Now they changed the tag to satire.


NOOOOOOOOOO
 
2013-03-09 12:46:48 PM  

violentsalvation: Now they changed the tag to satire.


You know what this means? The mods are trolling US
 
2013-03-09 12:57:15 PM  

flucto: violentsalvation: Now they changed the tag to satire.

You know what this means? The mods are trolling US


Thanks Obama.
 
2013-03-09 01:15:38 PM  
While this is obviously satire, it raises to me an interesting question - since promotions in the US military are mostly seniority based, if you are due a promotion and are charged with a crime but haven't been convicted, are you promoted? Surely you don't get discharged for being accused of a crime, right? You need to be convicted.
 
2013-03-09 01:27:59 PM  

doyner: flucto: violentsalvation: Now they changed the tag to satire.

You know what this means? The mods are trolling US

Thanks Obama.


Rest assured, my friends... I'm quite confident this will somehow make an appearance in the Congressional Record by one of our astute Representatives or Senators.

Before anyone goes all whiny about taking the Fort Hood massacre lightly, oftentimes gallows humor is a great way to deal with the pain. So, relax and enjoy. Welcome to fark... etc etc
 
2013-03-09 02:35:23 PM  

DamnYankees: While this is obviously satire, it raises to me an interesting question - since promotions in the US military are mostly seniority based, if you are due a promotion and are charged with a crime but haven't been convicted, are you promoted? Surely you don't get discharged for being accused of a crime, right? You need to be convicted.


They absolutely are not.  "Up or out" refers to getting a promotion, not that you WILL get a promotion.  You don't get moved up unless you've done the work.  For every promoted officer there are ten that left the service.
 
2013-03-09 03:03:57 PM  

Lsherm: For every promoted officer there are ten that left the service.


Then how come the number of lieutenants  and generals is exactly the same?
 
2013-03-09 03:13:52 PM  

St_Francis_P: Uh, guys...this is a satire site. Carry on.


www.getbig.com
 
2013-03-09 03:29:12 PM  
I realized it was satire exactly at the point I read "His capability to think like the enemy, allows him the ability to provide the military with a perspective not seen by the rest of the organization."
 
2013-03-09 03:30:22 PM  
farm6.staticflickr.com
 
2013-03-09 03:35:10 PM  
Satire is funny because it is usually feasible.   The way my company promoted people this year was a lot like this, overqualified people remaining unprompted while under qualified were promoted.
 
2013-03-09 03:38:40 PM  
Isn't satire supposed to be amusing? Leave it to the professionals. The first few comments are funnny. tho. Nadie_AZ might want to consider re-allocating those 5 dollars a month into reading classes.
 
2013-03-09 03:40:30 PM  
This isn't great satire because it isn't over the top enough.

This would be the equivalent of Hustler Magazine saying Jerry Falwell lost his virginity to his cousin.

(Not his mother, like Hustler actually did)
www.law.umkc.edu
 
2013-03-09 03:41:20 PM  
Military Grade Butthurt.
Oh Boy!

/but you did find it concievable
 
2013-03-09 03:41:45 PM  

rev. dave: Satire is funny because it is usually feasible.   The way my company promoted people this year was a lot like this, overqualified people remaining unprompted while under qualified were promoted.


It's hard to fire people so this is an easy way to get rid of a dope working under you. Let someone else deal with them.  I want to keep the guys that are good.
 
2013-03-09 03:42:18 PM  

flucto: St_Francis_P: Uh, guys...this is a satire site. Carry on.

You were the kid in pre-school running around telling everybody there was no Easter Bunny, weren't you?


(late Friday afternoon, raises & waves hand) "umm, Ms.Drexler? you forgot to assign us our homework!"
 
2013-03-09 03:42:40 PM  

St_Francis_P: Uh, guys...this is a satire site. Carry on.


Spoil sport.
 
2013-03-09 03:43:22 PM  

MmmmBacon: St_Francis_P: Uh, guys...this is a satire site. Carry on.

Aww, I was waiting to see how many Farkers bit on this one.


Too many, as always. Of course they had nothing to say when St. Reagan praised the Taliban & created al Qaeda, or when Poppy Bush gave Saddam the go-ahead to invade Kuwait, or when W let the Saudi nationals in the US fly away after 9-11.

whitenoiseinsanity.com
 
2013-03-09 03:43:37 PM  
Thanks, Obama.

Someone alert the Brietbart people. This is worse than Friends of Hamas and Benghazi combined.
 
2013-03-09 03:48:20 PM  

St_Francis_P: Uh, guys...this is a satire site. Carry on.


I got to the part on "Of note is one report covering the period during Hasan's alleged shooting spree." and I knew they were bullshiatting. I then saw FARK has a satire tag, and it was used.
 
2013-03-09 03:54:08 PM  
But seriously, once this stuff becomes Fox "News", you'll never get it out of Republican heads, even with a jackhammer of logic and mockery.

I did what I usually do when it doubt:  I checked the other stories on the site for bias and signs of humor.

Here's the first (and only article) I checked:

Soldiers Don't Know if Sargeant-Major Intentionally Doing Bill Crosby Impression

Could it be more Onionesque if it were a polycromatic Russian Cathedral?

And I'm pretty sure there is no such person as Dick Scuttlebutt.

As an amateur genealogist, I would have some Scuttlebutts in my family tree by now, if the family existed between, say, Florida and Nova Scotia. I am proud to say, however, that I do have a few Twaddles.

Military humour tends to be blunt and heavy-handed. It is just sly and solemn enough to operate as a trap, in the same way that a land mine does. Military humour tends to leave no evidence of its existence, except for a stinking giant hole.
 
2013-03-09 03:55:56 PM  
I think I can formulate that more memorably:

Military humour is like a land mine. It is sly enough to act as a trap but not too subtle.
 
2013-03-09 03:59:11 PM  
Truly a "slap in the face of all the victims" from the massacre. Thanks Fartbongo
cache.jezebel.com
 
2013-03-09 04:03:59 PM  

flucto: St_Francis_P: Uh, guys...this is a satire site. Carry on.

You were the kid in pre-school running around telling everybody there was no Easter Bunny, weren't you?


Wait, you mean there's no Easter Bunny?

Crap.
 
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