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(Live Science)   Aside from man-eating sinkholes, Burmese pythons, swarming sharks, and tropical storms, what else does Florida have to offer? Oh, yeah, quarter-sized mosquitoes with bites that feel like you're being knifed. Orbital nukes last seen being made ready   (livescience.com) divider line 54
    More: Florida, Burmese pythons, Burmese, Agricultural Sciences, mosquito repellent  
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5812 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Mar 2013 at 9:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-09 08:21:04 AM  
Florida is America's attempt to build a death world. We put in hillbillies and astronauts and in a few centuries we'll breed them with Australians and our new Austro-floridian super soldiers will conquer the earth!
 
2013-03-09 09:45:22 AM  
Well, there's still citrus fruit I guess.
 
2013-03-09 09:45:53 AM  
You forgot to mention the crazy.
 
2013-03-09 09:52:29 AM  
We're all going to die because there's a native Florida mosquito that comes in huge swarms of one, doesn't carry any diseases, and eats the larvae of the mosquitoes that do!
 
2013-03-09 09:52:59 AM  
I've lived in Alaska, your puny Florida skeeters don't scare me.
static.flickr.com
 
2013-03-09 09:54:06 AM  
Here in Houston the mosquitoes get bigger and more numerous every year.  During the summer they're practically spraying for them every three or four days, breeding new generations more resistant to the bug killer every time.  The entire South is going to be overrun with mutated dog-sized vampire bugs by 2050.
 
2013-03-09 09:54:11 AM  
"after Tropical Storm Debby dumped its load on Florida"

Sorry, I just couldn't let that one go...
 
2013-03-09 10:00:55 AM  
Apparently, subby has never run into 'no see ums'. Those little bastards hurt like hell, are impossible to see, and are bloody persistent.
 
2013-03-09 10:04:19 AM  
OMG. Will they prey on the "Skunk Ape," too?

/guess not - them are actually space aliens.

//seen it on TV
 
2013-03-09 10:05:46 AM  
Once they get a little bit bigger, shotguns will be a viable defense, and we can turn the tide.
 
2013-03-09 10:08:03 AM  

AbiNormal: I've lived in Alaska, your puny Florida skeeters don't scare me.
[static.flickr.com image 500x346]



Yeah, but Alaskan mosquitos are *dumb*. I remember being in the Alaskan woods and watching them land on our DEET soaked wool clothing rather than anywhere on exposed skin. Easy to swat and we ended up with very few bites.
 
2013-03-09 10:08:16 AM  
Prehistoric pterodactyl 'skeeters.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-09 10:15:38 AM  
I remember being in the Alaskan woods and watching them land on our DEET soaked wool clothing rather than anywhere on exposed skin. Easy to swat and we ended up with very few bites.

One species of deer fly in western Massachusetts must have evolved to drink blood from thick-skinned animals because it prefers to land on my backpack, camera, or other dark, hard surfaces. It knows there is food around, but fails to identify the pink surface as edible. The common species near Boston undersands humans just fine.
 
2013-03-09 10:18:36 AM  

Glockenspiel Hero: AbiNormal: I've lived in Alaska, your puny Florida skeeters don't scare me.
[static.flickr.com image 500x346]


Yeah, but Alaskan mosquitos are *dumb*. I remember being in the Alaskan woods and watching them land on our DEET soaked wool clothing rather than anywhere on exposed skin. Easy to swat and we ended up with very few bites.


Yeah, I lived in Eagle River, Alaska and I had some sort of "Mosquito Deleto" thing that served as a trap for the little bastards. It worked fine there, but where I live now it doesn't seem to work. I can't go in my backyard during the summer or I get bitten up by swarms of tiger mosquitos.
 
2013-03-09 10:21:03 AM  
 
2013-03-09 10:22:26 AM  

urger: Florida is America's attempt to build a death world. We put in hillbillies and astronauts and in a few centuries we'll breed them with Australians and our new Austro-floridian super soldiers will conquer the earth!


With all the Brazilians we are adding into the mix, we will be unstoppable.

So...

www.thelastdragontribute.com
 
2013-03-09 10:23:36 AM  

Richard C Stanford: Glockenspiel Hero: AbiNormal: I've lived in Alaska, your puny Florida skeeters don't scare me.
[static.flickr.com image 500x346]


Yeah, but Alaskan mosquitos are *dumb*. I remember being in the Alaskan woods and watching them land on our DEET soaked wool clothing rather than anywhere on exposed skin. Easy to swat and we ended up with very few bites.

Yeah, I lived in Eagle River, Alaska and I had some sort of "Mosquito Deleto" thing that served as a trap for the little bastards. It worked fine there, but where I live now it doesn't seem to work. I can't go in my backyard during the summer or I get bitten up by swarms of tiger mosquitos.


The only thing I've seen work on tiger mosquitoes is spray... most pest control companies have it
 
2013-03-09 10:24:40 AM  
I've got scars on my legs because of these farkers.

Normal Mosquito: "Oh, he has on a light cotton shirt. Guess I'll have to go elsewhere for my snack since I'll never get through that."

These Farkers: "He has on heavy denim jeans, socks, and leather boots.... I'm gonna get through all that or die trying! BONZAI!!!"

/did i mention that these things farking suck?
//don't get me started on the flying cockroaches
///or the giant spiders that look like alien facehuggers
 
2013-03-09 10:26:57 AM  
C'mon, Canary Islands.

(great rift in their volcano)
 
2013-03-09 10:29:51 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
Get bat drones. They can each eat thousands of skeeters every night.

skeeters
 
2013-03-09 10:33:47 AM  
None of that is real. It is all Disney Magic.
 
2013-03-09 10:36:55 AM  

FunkOut: Well, there's still citrus fruit I guess.


Funny you mention that. My tenet about where I'll live is :  ' If they can grow apples and tap maple trees I won't live there'. I am glad others will though.

The fact that there are mosquitoes here is not news.
 
2013-03-09 10:42:26 AM  

fiddle-faddle: urger: Florida is America's attempt to build a death world. We put in hillbillies and astronauts and in a few centuries we'll breed them with Australians and our new Austro-floridian super soldiers will conquer the earth!

With all the Brazilians we are adding into the mix, we will be unstoppable.

So...

[www.thelastdragontribute.com image 400x272]


SHO NUFF!
 
2013-03-09 10:55:22 AM  

LarryDan43: None of that is real. It is all Disney Magic.


so is EPCOT
 
2013-03-09 10:58:17 AM  

BigRightRear: FunkOut: Well, there's still citrus fruit I guess.

Funny you mention that. My tenet about where I'll live is :  ' If they can grow apples and tap maple trees I won't live there'. I am glad others will though.

The fact that there are mosquitoes here is not news.


Exactly, which is why my wife and I are considering relocating to Florida. We can deal with all that other shiat, but cold winters are flat out of there.

/NorCal is too cold...even though we grow citrus in our yard
//yeah I know...wimp
///to each their own
 
2013-03-09 11:05:50 AM  
Just bought The Executioner, a bug zapper shaped like a tennis racket.
i.imgur.com
Very satisfied, would zap again.
 
2013-03-09 11:07:46 AM  

Deep Contact: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]
Get bat drones. They can each eat thousands of skeeters every night.

skeeters


they already tried that..

cdn.theatlantic.com

The Bats all flew away the first night.
 
2013-03-09 11:12:04 AM  

Cerebral Knievel: Deep Contact: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]
Get bat drones. They can each eat thousands of skeeters every night.

skeeters

they already tried that..

[cdn.theatlantic.com image 670x445]

The Bats all flew away the first night.


That would make an epic mud wasp colony.
 
2013-03-09 11:13:01 AM  

Kuta: "I just remembered what I want: a bowl of mosquitoes. None of them tiny ones either, gimme them big motherfarkers you find down at the swamp."


That was pretty darn funny......I'll have to catch a couple of full episodes and see if I like it enough to follow...
 
2013-03-09 11:14:08 AM  
yet the dipshiats keep on moving here. Go figure.
 
2013-03-09 11:30:30 AM  

Evil Mackerel: Cerebral Knievel: Deep Contact: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]
Get bat drones. They can each eat thousands of skeeters every night.

skeeters

they already tried that..

[cdn.theatlantic.com image 670x445]

The Bats all flew away the first night.

That would make an epic mud wasp colony.


It is!!
 
2013-03-09 11:36:03 AM  

SVenus: Just bought The Executioner, a bug zapper shaped like a tennis racket.
[i.imgur.com image 323x469]
Very satisfied, would zap again.


I was thinking the same thing.... I have two of those rackets and they take out even large wasps with ease. These mosquitoes will just be another way of relieving daily frustration. Unlike those damn "no-seeums" that come, bite, and leave before you know there were there.
 
2013-03-09 11:37:32 AM  

Cerebral Knievel: Evil Mackerel: Cerebral Knievel: Deep Contact: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]
Get bat drones. They can each eat thousands of skeeters every night.

skeeters

they already tried that..

[cdn.theatlantic.com image 670x445]

The Bats all flew away the first night.

That would make an epic mud wasp colony.

It is!!


Exterminatus, then.
 
2013-03-09 11:45:29 AM  

SVenus: Just bought The Executioner, a bug zapper shaped like a tennis racket.
[i.imgur.com image 323x469]
Very satisfied, would zap again.


My friend has one of those. He got hammered and started running around hitting people in the nuts with it. Good God, that was painful...
 
2013-03-09 11:49:56 AM  

fiddle-faddle: urger: Florida is America's attempt to build a death world. We put in hillbillies and astronauts and in a few centuries we'll breed them with Australians and our new Austro-floridian super soldiers will conquer the earth!

With all the Brazilians we are adding into the mix, we will be unstoppable.


Brazil can have 'em back.

i129.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-09 11:56:54 AM  
Don't worry, when the horse flies and deer flies come after you, you'll forget all about those pansy 'skeeters, and you'll quickly devolve into a twitching, spastic madman running through the woods until you step on one of any number of poisonous snakes just waiting to take their anger out on humanity. If you get really luckily, you'll come across a nice, pissed-off boar who'd happily put you on your arse and gore you a few times.
 
2013-03-09 11:59:01 AM  

Cerebral Knievel: Deep Contact: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]
Get bat drones. They can each eat thousands of skeeters every night.

skeeters

they already tried that..

[cdn.theatlantic.com image 670x445]

The Bats all flew away the first night.


That's a stupid looking bat house.
This is what they need.
www.flash-screen.com
 
2013-03-09 12:05:28 PM  
And the black flies, the little black flies
Always the black fly no matter where you go
I'll die with the black fly a-pickin' my bones
In North Ontar-i-o-i-o, In North Ontar-i-o
 
2013-03-09 12:24:09 PM  
I'm ordering my "Team Skeeter" shirts right now.
 
2013-03-09 12:28:25 PM  
Black flies have white knees.
The more you know.
 
2013-03-09 01:00:31 PM  

YoungLochinvar: SVenus: Just bought The Executioner, a bug zapper shaped like a tennis racket.
[i.imgur.com image 323x469]
Very satisfied, would zap again.

My friend has one of those. He got hammered and started running around hitting people in the nuts with it. Good God, that was painful...


OW MY BALLS!
 
2013-03-09 01:04:42 PM  
People love to rag on Florida...yet I see a ton of out of state plates on the cars hogging up my roads. For a place everyone hates, you people sure do like to come here. If its really that bad (and Im not saying it isnt bad) then GTFO and stay out, and tell the rest of the snowbirds and tourists that FL is closed.
 
2013-03-09 01:05:09 PM  
I, for one, welcome our new super-mosquito overlords.
/Florida, America's Australia
 
2013-03-09 01:30:48 PM  
when I was younger it was California we ragged on, still kinda do; then it was New Jersey, still kinda do; Now Florida is having it's turn, however I'm OK with this.

Subby forgot about the baboons.
 
2013-03-09 01:31:34 PM  
This many posts in and no "man-eating sinkhole/subby's mom" jokes??

This is not the Fark I know...

/constant lurker
//rare poster
///oblig. 3rd slashie
 
2013-03-09 02:19:03 PM  

Sultan Of Herf: People love to rag on Florida...yet I see a ton of out of state plates on the cars hogging up my roads. For a place everyone hates, you people sure do like to come here. If its really that bad (and Im not saying it isnt bad) then GTFO and stay out, and tell the rest of the snowbirds and tourists that FL is closed.


Can't blame me, I left as soon as I could.
(would have been in the first graduating class of Jefferson High in Tampa)
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-09 02:58:37 PM  
Rip Dashrock: Black flies have white knees.

Only about half the species have white knees. Leg color (bicolored legs) is a character used by taxonomists to divide the large genus Simulium.
 
2013-03-09 03:00:57 PM  
This animal seems more suited to Australia.
 
2013-03-09 03:05:16 PM  
 
2013-03-09 03:52:04 PM  
Don't forget the fat Canadian tourists with their speedos, white socks, and sandals.
Cheap bastards are horrible tippers too.
 
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