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(Cosmopolitan)   Anthony Bourdain lists his sexiest foods, advises women to order giant lobster and go to town on it with total abandon. "I sat there, enraptured, watching her suck every bit of meat from it - she got a standing ovation from the floor staff"   (cosmopolitan.com) divider line 74
    More: Amusing, Anthony Bourdain, lobsters, fine dining, floor staff, ready meal  
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3014 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 08 Mar 2013 at 5:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-08 03:50:43 PM
Goddamn underwater spider. Fark that crap, gimme prime rib.
 
2013-03-08 03:53:07 PM

gopher321: Goddamn underwater spider. Fark that crap, gimme prime rib.


A well prepared lobster tail is a nearly perfect pair with any good cut of meat.  :)

/and a good merlot
 
2013-03-08 03:53:11 PM
I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted cured meats.
 
2013-03-08 04:02:59 PM
Notice how he manages to wedge the words "suck," "meat," "staff" and "standing ovation" all into the same sentence. Anthony Bourdain is a filthy, filthy man.

He's also my idol. Who wouldn't want his life? Getting paid to travel all over the world, write, and eat amazing food? I wanna come back as him when I die.

He's also even sexier in person. I'm a straight dude, and I  still kinda wanted him a little.
 
2013-03-08 04:03:41 PM
No love for the chocolate covered frozen banana?
 
2013-03-08 04:11:29 PM
A perfect date is with a person who eats without fear, prejudice, or concerns about his or her appearance.

No truer words have been spoken.
 
2013-03-08 04:12:09 PM
i221.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-08 04:35:56 PM

MaxxLarge: He's also my idol. Who wouldn't want his life? Getting paid to travel all over the world, write, and eat amazing food? I wanna come back as him when I die.



He's towards the top of my list, but my #1 answer is Zane Lamprey.
 
2013-03-08 04:58:37 PM

The_Sponge: MaxxLarge: He's also my idol. Who wouldn't want his life? Getting paid to travel all over the world, write, and eat amazing food? I wanna come back as him when I die.


He's towards the top of my list, but my #1 answer is Zane Lamprey.


Lamprey?

blogs.sciencemag.org
 
2013-03-08 04:59:08 PM
I absolutely agree with this.

Watching a New England native strip a lobster of every gram of edible meat with nothing but a fork and her bare hands, while smiling innocently was.... oh..my.

/my bunk. You can find me there.
 
2013-03-08 05:30:30 PM
Bananas, nothing sexier than a woman lovingly eating a banana...
 
2013-03-08 05:32:48 PM
In my head I heard Bourdain reading the article. Sploosh
 
2013-03-08 05:33:58 PM

MaxxLarge: Notice how he manages to wedge the words "suck," "meat," "staff" and "standing ovation" all into the same sentence. Anthony Bourdain is a filthy, filthy man.

He's also my idol. Who wouldn't want his life? Getting paid to travel all over the world, write, and eat amazing food? I wanna come back as him when I die.

He's also even sexier in person. I'm a straight dude, and I  still kinda wanted him a little.


Straight men don't want other men, even a little bit. That's what makes them straight.

NTTAWWT.
 
2013-03-08 05:34:32 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
i177.photobucket.com
/ prolly obscure
 
2013-03-08 05:40:13 PM
"If a girl likes Uni,she'll probablysuck your dick."
 
2013-03-08 05:41:29 PM
www.bonappetit.com

Agrees.
 
2013-03-08 05:46:18 PM
She ordered a six-pound lobster. I sat there, enraptured, watching her suck every bit of meat from it-she got a standing ovation from the floor staff. She's the kind of woman who will order filet mignon as an appetizer followed by a T-bone steak.

She sounds like she'll be fat one day.
 
2013-03-08 05:51:34 PM
She ate the poop and everything.
 
2013-03-08 06:00:14 PM
static4.businessinsider.com
 
2013-03-08 06:00:45 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-08 06:02:11 PM
www.blackvibes.com
 
2013-03-08 06:02:18 PM
approves

sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-03-08 06:05:07 PM

jaytkay: / prolly obscure


It better not be.
 
2013-03-08 06:05:45 PM
farm9.staticflickr.com
I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?
 
2013-03-08 06:06:36 PM
I don't find sucking the meat out of sea bugs to be particularly sexy, but hey... whatever floats your boat Mr. TV chef.
 
2013-03-08 06:13:23 PM
She sounds like she'll be fat one day.


farm9.staticflickr.com

Hittable
 
2013-03-08 06:16:10 PM
The sexiest meal I can think of is a Heidi Klum/Mila Kunis sandwich
 
2013-03-08 06:19:43 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-08 06:26:14 PM
I ordered crab 20 years ago on our first date. Sucked it dry. The crab was relegated to a doggy bag.
 
2013-03-08 06:28:41 PM

zabadu: She ordered a six-pound lobster. I sat there, enraptured, watching her suck every bit of meat from it-she got a standing ovation from the floor staff. She's the kind of woman who will order filet mignon as an appetizer followed by a T-bone steak.

She sounds like she'll be fat one day.


You've obviously never read about her. She's an active kickboxer, even had an episode of No Reservations where the two of them went to some other country just for a kickboxing match she was competing in and made an episode around it.
 
2013-03-08 06:32:09 PM

farkingismybusiness: 24.media.tumblr.com


Thank you for referencing the best and greatest movie ever made.
 
2013-03-08 06:36:18 PM
i10.photobucket.com
One of the best scenes in the movie
 
2013-03-08 06:39:27 PM

Iczer: zabadu: She ordered a six-pound lobster. I sat there, enraptured, watching her suck every bit of meat from it-she got a standing ovation from the floor staff. She's the kind of woman who will order filet mignon as an appetizer followed by a T-bone steak.

She sounds like she'll be fat one day.

You've obviously never read about her. She's an active kickboxer, even had an episode of No Reservations where the two of them went to some other country just for a kickboxing match she was competing in and made an episode around it.


Yeah, don't care that much.
 
2013-03-08 06:39:39 PM
 
2013-03-08 06:45:57 PM

Dee Snarl: [www.bonappetit.com image 484x356]

Agrees.


Thanks. Saved me a trip.
 
2013-03-08 06:47:00 PM

kronicfeld: farkingismybusiness: 24.media.tumblr.com

Thank you for referencing the best and greatest movie ever made.


Well, it is. But see if you can follow me here... it.... ... isn't.
 
2013-03-08 06:48:09 PM
"'We're in a lifeboat . . .' begins one of my standard inspirationals to new sous-chefs.

'We're four days out to sea, with no rescue in sight. There are two Snickers bars and a tiny hunk of salt pork left in our stores, and that fat bastard by the stern is getting crazier with every hour, becoming more and more irrational and demanding, giving that Snickers bar long, lingering looks-even though he's too weak to help with the rowing or the bailing any more. He presents a clear and present danger to the rest of us, what with his leering at the food and his recently acquired conviction that we're plotting against him. What do we do?'

We kick fat boy over the side, I say. Maybe we even carve a nice chunk of rumpsteak off his thigh before letting him go."


Words to live by.
 
2013-03-08 06:50:08 PM
i.imgur.comi.imgur.com
 
2013-03-08 06:52:14 PM

sleeps in trees: I ordered crab 20 years ago on our first date. Sucked it dry. The crab was relegated to a doggy bag.


lols. eyeseewhatyoudidthere.jpg
 
2013-03-08 06:52:27 PM
"She ordered a six-pound lobster. I sat there, enraptured, watching her suck every bit of meat from it-she got a standing ovation from the floor staff."

i172.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-08 06:56:06 PM
I like his philosophy farther on in the article where he says you should just try any kind of food because the worst that could happen is having to spend some extra time in the bathroom. Of course, since my food philosophy is to try everything at least twice, and I'll try any food any where if it looks interesting, I've also ended up miserably sick more than once. Turns out no matter how delicious it looks and how many people buying it, eating unrefrigerated sushi from a street food market in China is bad idea.
 
2013-03-08 07:09:21 PM

rynthetyn: I like his philosophy farther on in the article where he says you should just try any kind of food because the worst that could happen is having to spend some extra time in the bathroom. Of course, since my food philosophy is to try everything at least twice, and I'll try any food any where if it looks interesting, I've also ended up miserably sick more than once. Turns out no matter how delicious it looks and how many people buying it, eating unrefrigerated sushi from a street food market in China is bad idea.


My lesson was deli meat sliced fresh at a dubious deli is never to be trusted. Apparently deli slicers should be completely taken apart and sanitised every night, not just spritzed and wiped down, which is what some people do. A bit of extra time in the bathroom sounds innocuous; projectile vomiting while your intestines feel like Hellraiser is having a go at them is a bit different. You start thinking "You know, this might kill me and I'll feel better then."
 
2013-03-08 07:24:02 PM

FunkOut: rynthetyn: I like his philosophy farther on in the article where he says you should just try any kind of food because the worst that could happen is having to spend some extra time in the bathroom. Of course, since my food philosophy is to try everything at least twice, and I'll try any food any where if it looks interesting, I've also ended up miserably sick more than once. Turns out no matter how delicious it looks and how many people buying it, eating unrefrigerated sushi from a street food market in China is bad idea.

My lesson was deli meat sliced fresh at a dubious deli is never to be trusted. Apparently deli slicers should be completely taken apart and sanitised every night, not just spritzed and wiped down, which is what some people do. A bit of extra time in the bathroom sounds innocuous; projectile vomiting while your intestines feel like Hellraiser is having a go at them is a bit different. You start thinking "You know, this might kill me and I'll feel better then."


My lesson was to check very carefully when buying bottled water in 3rd world countries, because they will find empty plastic bottles and refill them with river water. Thank god for cipro.
 
2013-03-08 07:26:44 PM

FunkOut: rynthetyn: I like his philosophy farther on in the article where he says you should just try any kind of food because the worst that could happen is having to spend some extra time in the bathroom. Of course, since my food philosophy is to try everything at least twice, and I'll try any food any where if it looks interesting, I've also ended up miserably sick more than once. Turns out no matter how delicious it looks and how many people buying it, eating unrefrigerated sushi from a street food market in China is bad idea.

My lesson was deli meat sliced fresh at a dubious deli is never to be trusted. Apparently deli slicers should be completely taken apart and sanitised every night, not just spritzed and wiped down, which is what some people do. A bit of extra time in the bathroom sounds innocuous; projectile vomiting while your intestines feel like Hellraiser is having a go at them is a bit different. You start thinking "You know, this might kill me and I'll feel bette then."


I've never had the projectile vomiting but I have had more than one situation where I started wondering whether I needed to take a trip to the hospital because my symptoms were starting to look closer to cholera than just ordinary food poisoning. That wasn't fun.I still break most of the food rules that you're supposed tofollow abroad.Other than not drinking the water, I do everything you're not supposed to do--eat raw fruits and vegetables, eat street food, eat street food that includes raw fruits and vegetables, eat shellfish in street food markets, all that good stuff.  Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, I'm fine, the other times usually see me looking for the nearest pharmacy.
 
2013-03-08 07:27:30 PM
baddetectives.co.uk

/hot like TORCHAAA!
 
2013-03-08 07:41:54 PM
God Is My Co-Pirate:

My lesson was to check very carefully when buying bottled water in 3rd world countries, because they will find empty plastic bottles and refill them with river water. Thank god for cipro.

Eek. Yeah, and never open up a water bottle, drink part, cap it, and then leave it for 3 days in a hot car thinking you can drink the rest. The guy who did that, he was making sounds like a wounded animal in the bathroom. Cipro is a life saver.
 
2013-03-08 08:03:38 PM
I'm definitely willing to try just about anything once, but for some reason, I have a hard time getting the courage to try haggis and headcheese.  Weird, I know.
 
2013-03-08 08:05:05 PM

FunkOut: God Is My Co-Pirate:

My lesson was to check very carefully when buying bottled water in 3rd world countries, because they will find empty plastic bottles and refill them with river water. Thank god for cipro.

Eek. Yeah, and never open up a water bottle, drink part, cap it, and then leave it for 3 days in a hot car thinking you can drink the rest. The guy who did that, he was making sounds like a wounded animal in the bathroom. Cipro is a life saver.

You have to be careful with Cipro though because one of the side effects is that it can really screw with your joints and tendons. Like, even mild exercise can lead to ruptured tendons while you're on Cipro and if you feel even mild joint pain you need to call the doctor asap. I was taking it and whatever it did to my knee, it hurt to climb stairs for several months, and that was with stopping it when I first felt pain.
 
2013-03-08 08:12:33 PM

rynthetyn: FunkOut: God Is My Co-Pirate:

My lesson was to check very carefully when buying bottled water in 3rd world countries, because they will find empty plastic bottles and refill them with river water. Thank god for cipro.

Eek. Yeah, and never open up a water bottle, drink part, cap it, and then leave it for 3 days in a hot car thinking you can drink the rest. The guy who did that, he was making sounds like a wounded animal in the bathroom. Cipro is a life saver.

You have to be careful with Cipro though because one of the side effects is that it can really screw with your joints and tendons. Like, even mild exercise can lead to ruptured tendons while you're on Cipro and if you feel even mild joint pain you need to call the doctor asap. I was taking it and whatever it did to my knee, it hurt to climb stairs for several months, and that was with stopping it when I first felt pain.


I read an article where some guy's achilles tendon snapped while on Cipro and he could hear it. They should print that little story out with the pharmacy sheet.
 
2013-03-08 08:40:28 PM

rynthetyn: FunkOut: God Is My Co-Pirate:

My lesson was to check very carefully when buying bottled water in 3rd world countries, because they will find empty plastic bottles and refill them with river water. Thank god for cipro.

Eek. Yeah, and never open up a water bottle, drink part, cap it, and then leave it for 3 days in a hot car thinking you can drink the rest. The guy who did that, he was making sounds like a wounded animal in the bathroom. Cipro is a life saver.

You have to be careful with Cipro though because one of the side effects is that it can really screw with your joints and tendons. Like, even mild exercise can lead to ruptured tendons while you're on Cipro and if you feel even mild joint pain you need to call the doctor asap. I was taking it and whatever it did to my knee, it hurt to climb stairs for several months, and that was with stopping it when I first felt pain.


Wow. Hadn't heard about that one before. I think I need to wait a few semesters. First semester in medical school and all they have taught us about it so far is how it kills bacteria.
 
2013-03-08 08:44:22 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: I'm definitely willing to try just about anything once, but for some reason, I have a hard time getting the courage to try haggis and headcheese.  Weird, I know.


I can't speak for the haggis (I've only had it once, and it didn't really impress me.  I think the guy who made it had an off day or something).  But, headcheese is something you really have to try.  It's nowhere near as bad as your eyes and brain tell you it will be.
 
2013-03-08 09:23:38 PM
I had lobster for dinner tonight so I'm getting a kick, etc.


gingerjet: approves

[sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 403x360]


Someone posted an animated gif of Bastard Chef shaking his head, but I can't find it.


ranev700: She sounds like she'll be fat one day.

[farm9.staticflickr.com image 284x320]

Hittable


Careful, she hits back.

graphics8.nytimes.com
 
2013-03-08 09:23:39 PM

jaytkay: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 460x360]
[i177.photobucket.com image 460x276]
/ prolly obscure


I was seeing that scene in my mind when I was reading the article.

Love that scene. Always makes me hungry.
 
2013-03-08 09:28:37 PM
"I'll have what she's having. "

/blatantly obvious reference
 
2013-03-08 11:31:38 PM

reimanr06: rynthetyn: FunkOut: God Is My Co-Pirate:

My lesson was to check very carefully when buying bottled water in 3rd world countries, because they will find empty plastic bottles and refill them with river water. Thank god for cipro.

Eek. Yeah, and never open up a water bottle, drink part, cap it, and then leave it for 3 days in a hot car thinking you can drink the rest. The guy who did that, he was making sounds like a wounded animal in the bathroom. Cipro is a life saver.

You have to be careful with Cipro though because one of the side effects is that it can really screw with your joints and tendons. Like, even mild exercise can lead to ruptured tendons while you're on Cipro and if you feel even mild joint pain you need to call the doctor asap. I was taking it and whatever it did to my knee, it hurt to climb stairs for several months, and that was with stopping it when I first felt pain.

Wow. Hadn't heard about that one before. I think I need to wait a few semesters. First semester in medical school and all they have taught us about it so far is how it kills bacteria.


For a fun time, try a trip up the Nile with a urologist!

/never ever swim in the Nile
 
2013-03-08 11:41:30 PM
FTFA: Because eating with your hands is incredibly sensual.

This is why I love crab legs and whole, steamed artichokes. You tear everything apart with your hands and eat with your fingers, melted butter and herbs dripping down your wrist. So messy and juicy and delicious.

Also, Anthony Bourdain is farking hot. Everything about that man makes my toes curl.
 
2013-03-09 12:00:48 AM
I worked in a seafood restaurant back in the 80's. It was commonplace for women on dates to order the king crab and be too ruled by daintiness to eat it. The staff got lots of free crab and lobster.
 
2013-03-09 02:30:36 AM

gopher321: Goddamn underwater spider. Fark that crap, gimme prime rib.


Closer to cockroach than spider.  Delicious, juicy cockroach.
 
2013-03-09 03:02:40 AM
24.media.tumblr.com

Also, while we're on the "erotic eating" film tip:

clzimages.com
 
2013-03-09 06:19:49 AM

Sinbox: [24.media.tumblr.com image 460x700]

Also, while we're on the "erotic eating" film tip:

[clzimages.com image 358x500]


...until the image loaded, I was scared you were talking about "Eating Raoul."
 
2013-03-09 09:32:24 AM
I love No Reservations, but am I the only one who gets a serious gay vibe from Anthony Bourdain? NTTAWWT, of course.

/It doesn't help that he seems to often wear a sweatshirt with "Provincetown" emblazoned across the front
 
2013-03-09 10:16:41 AM

Quaker: I love No Reservations, but am I the only one who gets a serious gay vibe from Anthony Bourdain? NTTAWWT, of course.

/It doesn't help that he seems to often wear a sweatshirt with "Provincetown" emblazoned across the front


Perhaps your thinking of Andrew Zimmern.
 
2013-03-09 10:47:57 AM

MaxxLarge: Notice how he manages to wedge the words "suck," "meat," "staff" and "standing ovation" all into the same sentence. Anthony Bourdain is a filthy, filthy man.

He's also my idol. Who wouldn't want his life? Getting paid to travel all over the world, write, and eat amazing food? I wanna come back as him when I die.

He's also even sexier in person. I'm a straight dude, and I  still kinda wanted him a little.


He also said my show 15 times.

I like AB, both of them
 
2013-03-09 12:19:08 PM

FunkOut: My lesson was deli meat sliced fresh at a dubious deli is never to be trusted. Apparently deli slicers should be completely taken apart and sanitised every night, not just spritzed and wiped down, which is what some people do. A bit of extra time in the bathroom sounds innocuous; projectile vomiting while your intestines feel like Hellraiser is having a go at them is a bit different. You start thinking "You know, this might kill me and I'll feel better then."


The problem with deli slicers is theyve gotten so farking safe you cant clean em. Theres like 3 parts you can actually take off, and if any one of them is taken off you cant access the other parts of the machine, so you have to clean some parts without taking it apart which means you cant clean it as well, then you take the parts you can run through the dish machine off and it locks other parts so you cant clean them... And its not really any safer, its still pretty easy to lose a finger tip...
 
2013-03-09 12:19:14 PM

Evil Mackerel: Quaker: I love No Reservations, but am I the only one who gets a serious gay vibe from Anthony Bourdain? NTTAWWT, of course.

/It doesn't help that he seems to often wear a sweatshirt with "Provincetown" emblazoned across the front

Perhaps your thinking of Andrew Zimmern.


No I don't watch Andrew Zimmern's show. I've watched a lot of No Reservations though. Also, here's a picture:
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-03-09 01:09:15 PM

Quaker: Evil Mackerel: Quaker: I love No Reservations, but am I the only one who gets a serious gay vibe from Anthony Bourdain? NTTAWWT, of course.

/It doesn't help that he seems to often wear a sweatshirt with "Provincetown" emblazoned across the front

Perhaps your thinking of Andrew Zimmern.

No I don't watch Andrew Zimmern's show. I've watched a lot of No Reservations though. Also, here's a picture:
[sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 403x334]


He worked in Provincetown restaurants during college.
 
2013-03-09 01:11:10 PM

rynthetyn: You have to be careful with Cipro though because one of the side effects is that it can really screw with your joints and tendons. Like, even mild exercise can lead to ruptured tendons while you're on Cipro and if you feel even mild joint pain you need to call the doctor asap. I was taking it and whatever it did to my knee, it hurt to climb stairs for several months, and that was with stopping it when I first felt pain.


That is a rare side-effect for adults, joint pain at between 0.1% to 0.9% of adult patients.  Under the age of 18 is another story.  About 22% of 12-17 year-old kids will have issues according to post-market studies.  That is why Cipro, and other fluoroquinolones are rarely used in kids.
 
2013-03-09 01:49:14 PM

Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadu: Quaker: Evil Mackerel: Quaker: I love No Reservations, but am I the only one who gets a serious gay vibe from Anthony Bourdain? NTTAWWT, of course.

/It doesn't help that he seems to often wear a sweatshirt with "Provincetown" emblazoned across the front

Perhaps your thinking of Andrew Zimmern.

No I don't watch Andrew Zimmern's show. I've watched a lot of No Reservations though. Also, here's a picture:
[sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 403x334]

He worked in Provincetown restaurants during college.


I know, and as I said earlier that's not why I get that vibe from him, but it doesn't help. Most heterosexual males wouldn't want to publicly advertise their association with Provincetown lest someone get the wrong idea. Although I live on the Cape, so maybe that sentiment is a little stronger around these parts.
 
2013-03-09 03:01:10 PM
Quaker
It's not like he's dancing in a thong at a TeaParty at the "Boatslip motel".
/Both sides of my family come from P-Town.
 
2013-03-09 03:04:32 PM

laid back w/bud light: Quaker
It's not like he's dancing in a thong at a TeaParty at the "Boatslip motel".
/Both sides of my family come from P-Town.


The P-Town sweatshirt doesn't factor into me getting that vibe off of him, I was just half-jokingly pointing out that it doesn't help.
 
2013-03-09 03:09:50 PM

gopher321: Goddamn underwater spider. Fark that crap, gimme prime rib.


it's the reason i'm afraid to go to Antarctica, underwater spider.  fark that crap
 
2013-03-09 06:54:08 PM
I hear ya'.  My parents still own a second home there and a nice boat to fish for stripers and tuna.  Bonus my cousin owns 2 of the most popular straight bars in town.
 
2013-03-09 09:14:23 PM
i1214.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-09 10:28:27 PM

laid back w/bud light: Bonus my cousin owns 2 of the most popular straight bars in town.


Isn't that like winning a bronze medal at the Special Olympics??
 
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