what the headline reminded me of:

A Chief Petty Officer shall not drink. However, if he should drink he shall not get drunk. If he should get drunk, he shall not stagger. And if he should stagger, he shall not fall. And if he should fall, he will fall in such a manner as to cover up his rank so that passersby will think he is an officer.

Ha, the guy who called 911 is awesome.  Also, he should move out of Nevada before he falls down an elevator shaft onto 47 bullets.

IgG4: pedrop357: If he's suspended without pay, he'll have to forgo the essentials.  He only makes ~$100,000/yr.  Lay off cop haters.

http://transparentnevada.com/salaries/search/?t=name&q=justin+simo

$47k in "benefits"? How do I get in on that?

Each year, they get a ~$47,000 credit to do bad things.  Work or 5 years and you can get a credit for up to $250,000 in bad mojo.  So if you total a SWAT vehicle worth , your "account" gets docked and you only $200,000.  If you then go out and beat some homeless guy and shoot his dog, and the city settles for $175,000, now you're down to $25,000.  If you then go out and total another $50,000 vehicle, then you get fired or quietly asked to resign with full benefits.

This goes a long way towards explaining why cops who've been there a long time can do things that result in multi-million dollar payouts, they have enough in the "account".

It helps to do things in groups so that everyone's account can get docked a little.  If this guy had 4 dumbasses in the car, that's $12.5K each, which leaves a lot more room for lawsuit payouts related to viciously assaulting old people, shooting ice cream ladies, and all the other wonderful stuff the Henderson PD has do.

If he's suspended without pay, he'll have to forgo the essentials.  He only makes ~$100,000/yr.  Lay off cop haters.

http://transparentnevada.com/salaries/search/?t=name&q=justin+simo

I wonder if he yelled at the car fire to "stop resisting!"

I read this in Bobcat Goldthwait's voice.

The_Original_Roxtar: what the headline reminded me of:

A Chief Petty Officer shall not drink. However, if he should drink he shall not get drunk. If he should get drunk, he shall not stagger. And if he should stagger, he shall not fall. And if he should fall, he will fall in such a manner as to cover up his rank so that passersby will think he is an officer.

I had to memorize that for initiation.

And if that diamond ring don't shine...

There's a hold up in the Bronx,
Brooklyn's broken out in fights.
There's a traffic jam in Harlem
That's backed up to Jackson Heights.
There's a scout troup short a child,
Kruschev's due at Idlewild
Car 54, Where Are You?

2wolves: Why didn't he shoot it?

It wasn't barking.