Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Las Vegas Review Journal)   If you're a cop, don't drive drunk. And if you do drive drunk, don't do it in an unmarked SWAT car. And if you do drive an unmarked SWAT car, don't let it catch on fire. And if it does catch on fire, don't try to put it out with water bottles   (lvrj.com) divider line 72
    More: Strange, SWAT team, SWAT trucks, Chevy Tahoe, police duty belt, SWAT car  
•       •       •

4219 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2013 at 2:50 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



72 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-03-08 01:43:57 PM  
I would think that all cop cars would be equipped with a fire extinguisher.
 
2013-03-08 02:35:42 PM  
Worst DirecTV ad ever.
 
2013-03-08 02:36:19 PM  
Why didn't he shoot it?
 
2013-03-08 02:52:29 PM  

IgG4: I would think that all cop cars would be equipped with a fire extinguisher.


^ +1
 
2013-03-08 02:54:28 PM  
FTFA: Simo was suspended with pay after a Review-Journal story about the incident was published Monday evening, five days after the incident.

And there it is.  Are cops just trying to find the most creative way to get paid vacations these days?
 
2013-03-08 02:55:03 PM  

2wolves: Why didn't he shoot it?


It wasn't barking.
 
2013-03-08 02:55:33 PM  
media.washtimes.com
Did it look like this?
 
2013-03-08 02:56:38 PM  

Yogimus: IgG4: I would think that all cop cars would be equipped with a fire extinguisher.

^ +1


Every cop care in my podunk little town has at least one.
 
2013-03-08 02:57:10 PM  
"Henderson police, which has opened an internal investigation into the incident, said there was no indication Simo had been drinking. "

Well I'm convinced.

I'm guessing that while that statement may be true it can also be true that he was high as F on something else.
 
2013-03-08 02:59:53 PM  
Duh.  If you're going to drive drunk, do it in a regular cop car.
 
2013-03-08 03:01:22 PM  

IRQ12: "Henderson police, which has opened an internal investigation into the incident, said there was no indication Simo had been drinking. "


I'm guessing that he was high as F on something else.


Like power and cock-sureness from knowing the shiat a badge and blue shirt can let you pull?
 
2013-03-08 03:02:38 PM  
Ha, the guy who called 911 is awesome.  Also, he should move out of Nevada before he falls down an elevator shaft onto 47 bullets.
 
2013-03-08 03:04:24 PM  
He should have tried to swat the fire out.
 
2013-03-08 03:05:12 PM  
There's a hold up in the Bronx,
Brooklyn's broken out in fights.
There's a traffic jam in Harlem
That's backed up to Jackson Heights.
There's a scout troup short a child,
Kruschev's due at Idlewild
Car 54, Where Are You?
 
2013-03-08 03:06:12 PM  
what the headline reminded me of:

A Chief Petty Officer shall not drink. However, if he should drink he shall not get drunk. If he should get drunk, he shall not stagger. And if he should stagger, he shall not fall. And if he should fall, he will fall in such a manner as to cover up his rank so that passersby will think he is an officer.
 
2013-03-08 03:07:59 PM  
actually, subby. according to the article so far, you can get away with pretty much all of it as long as youre a cop.
 
2013-03-08 03:08:02 PM  
Unfortunately, the water bottles were filled with grain alcohol.
 
2013-03-08 03:08:22 PM  

Dragonflew: FTFA: Simo was suspended with pay after a Review-Journal story about the incident was published Monday evening, five days after the incident.

And there it is.  Are cops just trying to find the most creative way to get paid vacations these days?


What, you didn't expect the law that applies to everyone else to be applied to a cop, did you?
 
2013-03-08 03:09:35 PM  
And if that diamond ring don't shine...
 
2013-03-08 03:09:37 PM  
And these are the people who can be trusted with automatic weapons and all the high capacity magazines they want.
 
2013-03-08 03:10:14 PM  
Nothing a good tasering wouldn't fix.
 
2013-03-08 03:10:37 PM  

2wolves: Why didn't he shoot it?


It was the correct address.
 
2013-03-08 03:10:53 PM  
I was thinking, "Why not try to put it out with water bottles?"

Then I read that there was ammo inside. Depends on *how* on fire it was. I had a car catch fire once. I put it out with a water bottle.
 
2013-03-08 03:12:28 PM  
Did he also swallow a fly?

/perhaps he'll die
 
2013-03-08 03:13:35 PM  
If I'm not supposed to try to put out the fire with water bottles, what the hell am I supposed to use? I damn sure ain't usin' the beer...
 
2013-03-08 03:14:42 PM  

2wolves: Why didn't he shoot it?


or let it fall down a bunch of times or watch it run into a phone book over and over...
 
2013-03-08 03:15:31 PM  
"If you're a cop, don't drive drunk. And if you do drive drunk, don't do it in an unmarked SWAT car. And if you do drive an unmarked SWAT car, don't let it catch on fire. And if it does catch on fire, don't try to put it out with water bottles"

farm7.staticflickr.com
 
2013-03-08 03:16:52 PM  
FTFA:
**snip It's unclear whether Simo was given a field sobriety test or an alcohol breath test. Henderson spokesman Keith Paul said that information would be part of the internal case. **snip

So, they didn't give any kind of sobriety test?  The officers who responded should be horsewhipped for negligence.
 
2013-03-08 03:20:21 PM  
That is an awful lot of rules, Jim.
 
2013-03-08 03:22:57 PM  
"He told me there was ammo inside," he said. "I thought, 'Why don't you get a little closer, you moron.' "

This made me laugh.
 
2013-03-08 03:27:44 PM  

fireclown: FTFA:
**snip It's unclear whether Simo was given a field sobriety test or an alcohol breath test. Henderson spokesman Keith Paul said that information would be part of the internal case. **snip

So, they didn't give any kind of sobriety test?  The officers who responded should be horsewhipped for negligence.


No they should be fired, but the union contract probably doesn't allow for it this quickly. At best they didn't do basic procedures to establish if a crime had been committed. Given that the guy drove 1.5 miles on his rim and there was a witness onsite, he should have at least gotten a citation for reckless driving or something. At worst, they actively covered up several criminal actions because they could/code of silence/their buddy/whatever.
 
2013-03-08 03:28:28 PM  

IgG4: I would think that all cop cars would be equipped with a fire extinguisher.


That was my first thought.  He should have to pay for the vehicle.
 
2013-03-08 03:31:16 PM  
Another article said people living near the scene were finding scorched bullets all over. Henderson PD wouldn't clean it up, told residents it wasn't their jurisdiction.
 
2013-03-08 03:31:55 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: Unfortunately, the water bottles were filled with grain alcohol.


I really thought this.
 
2013-03-08 03:32:51 PM  
It's unclear whether Simo was given a field sobriety test or an alcohol breath test.

I think I can clarify that.
 
2013-03-08 03:35:05 PM  

macadamnut: It's unclear whether Simo was given a field sobriety test or an alcohol breath test.

I think I can clarify that.


lol... it is in no way unclear.
 
2013-03-08 03:35:05 PM  

redmid17: No they should be fired, but the union contract probably doesn't allow for it this quickly. At best they didn't do basic procedures to establish if a crime had been committed. Given that the guy drove 1.5 miles on his rim and there was a witness onsite, he should have at least gotten a citation for reckless driving or something. At worst, they actively covered up several criminal actions because they could/code of silence/their buddy/whatever.


The caller told the dispatcher that he suspected that the driver was drunk.  I'm pretty sure (and if I'm wrong I am sure a FARK legal ace will set me straight) that constitutes cause for a brethalyzer test.  My mind rebels at the notion that I would not have  been tested in those circumstances.
 
2013-03-08 03:36:51 PM  
Don't put out a--

Earguy: Worst DirecTV ad ever.


Damn you.
 
2013-03-08 03:39:16 PM  
Boy, it's good to be a cop in this country.  No action taken until the paper broke it 5 days later and then, suspended with pay.

No alcohol test given so he can't be charged with DUI.  Cops certainly take care of their own.

PS:  I'm guessing there was a fire extinguisher and he was too drunk to either remember it was there or operate it.

PPS:  (and the only reason I'm sharing is that it happened yesterday)  I'm sitting in the left turn lane waiting for a green arrow on a 6 lane congested street, at 7:15 pm or so.  Cop comes up with siren & lights on, doesn't wait for anyone to get out of his way, goes up the right hand shoulder then makes a left through the intersection.  I noticed it b/c it had a dent and broken left tail light.  I remember thinking that I would get pulled over for that.  I proceed to make the left and stop at a pizzeria a half mile or so and several turns away.

Same police car is double parked in front even though there were spaces within 20 feet and said cop is inside picking up food.
 
2013-03-08 03:39:57 PM  

fireclown: The caller told the dispatcher that he suspected that the driver was drunk. I'm pretty sure (and if I'm wrong I am sure a FARK legal ace will set me straight) that constitutes cause for a brethalyzer test.


More likely, it's probably cause for caller to be harassed, beat down, and arrested.
 
2013-03-08 03:40:11 PM  
Paid leave but only after a news report. No sobriety test.

I am so shocked.
 
2013-03-08 03:40:24 PM  
I see in the story's comments that many have received their Fark GED in law.
 
2013-03-08 03:41:56 PM  
Well, you know, people who fail at life become cops. No surprise there.
 
2013-03-08 03:46:40 PM  
Who can remember all of that?
 
2013-03-08 03:47:55 PM  
I would actually pay $10 to watch a cop die in a car fire. No, I would not help them.
 
2013-03-08 03:54:01 PM  

SploogeTime: I would actually pay $10 to watch a cop die in a car fire. No, I would not help them.


dl.dropbox.com
 
2013-03-08 03:58:27 PM  

The_Original_Roxtar: what the headline reminded me of:

A Chief Petty Officer shall not drink. However, if he should drink he shall not get drunk. If he should get drunk, he shall not stagger. And if he should stagger, he shall not fall. And if he should fall, he will fall in such a manner as to cover up his rank so that passersby will think he is an officer.


I had to memorize that for initiation.
 
2013-03-08 04:03:23 PM  
'Can you believe this? My car's on fire,'" the caller said. "I said, 'Dude, you just drove a mile and a half on a blown tire.'"
"He told me there was ammo inside," he said. "I thought, 'Why don't you get a little closer, you moron.'"

Comedy Gold
 
2013-03-08 04:07:45 PM  
Y'all are brutalizin' him!
 
2013-03-08 04:11:31 PM  
I read this in Bobcat Goldthwait's voice.
 
2013-03-08 04:25:54 PM  

fireclown: FTFA:
**snip It's unclear whether Simo was given a field sobriety test or an alcohol breath test. Henderson spokesman Keith Paul said that information would be part of the internal case. **snip

So, they didn't give any kind of sobriety test?  The officers who responded should be horsewhipped for negligence.


They were probably too busy laughing at him for letting his car catch on fire.
 
2013-03-08 04:39:48 PM  
I wonder if he yelled at the car fire to "stop resisting!"
 
2013-03-08 04:49:03 PM  
If you give a mouse a cookie...
 
2013-03-08 04:50:27 PM  
I foresee a commendation for valor in this cop's future for this incident. He drove a burning vehicle with a flat tire for a mile and a half.
 
2013-03-08 04:59:49 PM  

PinkPeril: Another article said people living near the scene were finding scorched bullets all over. Henderson PD wouldn't clean it up, told residents it wasn't their jurisdiction.


Wow, yeah.  That's bad.  And from the photo in this other article it looks like it might have been the left front tire that had blown.....right under the driver.  No way he didn't notice that.
http://www.lvrj.com/news/henderson-suspends-cop-who-totalled-swat-ve hi cle-195476491.html?ref=491
 
2013-03-08 06:10:48 PM  
CSB:

First time I ever drove at 60 mph through the north valley of Albuquerque at 6:30 on a Sunday morning while running red lights and drinking a beer, I was following the head of the SWAT team, who was driving his unmarked car and doing the same thing (including the beer). Hot air ballooning...it's what's for breakfast.

/CSB
 
2013-03-08 06:13:20 PM  
If he's suspended without pay, he'll have to forgo the essentials.  He only makes ~$100,000/yr.  Lay off cop haters.

http://transparentnevada.com/salaries/search/?t=name&q=justin+simo
 
2013-03-08 06:37:03 PM  

pedrop357: If he's suspended without pay, he'll have to forgo the essentials.  He only makes ~$100,000/yr.  Lay off cop haters.

http://transparentnevada.com/salaries/search/?t=name&q=justin+simo


Well, fortunately for him, he's suspended with pay.  Bullet dodged!
 
2013-03-08 06:49:29 PM  
It's unclear whether Simo was given a field sobriety test or an alcohol breath test.

Sobriety, breath, and blood-alcohol tests are for the civvie peons.
 
2013-03-08 07:18:21 PM  

StrangeQ: Dragonflew: FTFA: Simo was suspended with pay after a Review-Journal story about the incident was published Monday evening, five days after the incident.

And there it is.  Are cops just trying to find the most creative way to get paid vacations these days?

What, you didn't expect the law that applies to everyone else to be applied to a cop, did you?


Nope, I fully expected he would be given a vacation on the taxpayer dime for breaking the law.  It's what cops do.  I was just commenting on the creative way he went about it.
 
2013-03-08 07:23:24 PM  
I drove a mile on one rim once after getting into a fight at a gas station. sparks flying, the whole nine yards. didn't catch on fire tho- I just spent the next day under the car with a home hamde jackstand and a shiatload of wire crimps.

I was  wasted. Parked the car and crawled up the front stoop on my hands and knees
 
2013-03-08 07:37:31 PM  

pedrop357: If he's suspended without pay, he'll have to forgo the essentials.  He only makes ~$100,000/yr.  Lay off cop haters.

http://transparentnevada.com/salaries/search/?t=name&q=justin+simo


$47k in "benefits"? How do I get in on that?
 
2013-03-08 07:50:23 PM  
I see a story with unusual but likely series of events that a moron witness could actually be overreacting.  I have seen people drive on a flat, because they were trying to get somewhere safe to deal with it.  The officer could have been sober, realized he was driving on a flat and didn't think the sparks would've caught the car on fire.  The witness sounds younger than 25 and obviously never saw someone driving on a rim a went all "That dude is drunk, because I can't imagine any reason why someone would do this".  Here is a thought, the officer didn't want to change the tire just anywhere because he would've had to reveal an arsenal of weapons on the side of the road just to get the jack.  Maybe not, but it is reasonable that the cop just made some basic misjudgments and the witness is a spaz.

/Farkers joke that cops aren't that smart, but they have to be drunk to do something stupid
 
2013-03-08 08:13:50 PM  

lack of warmth: /Farkers joke that cops aren't that smart, but they have to be drunk or on duty to do something stupid

 
2013-03-08 08:41:35 PM  

MartinaMcSorley: Wow, yeah. That's bad. And from the photo in this other article it looks like it might have been the left front tire that had blown.....right under the driver. No way he didn't notice that.


It's possible for there to be nothing obvious about even a left front blowout.  I had my left front blow out on the highway.  I felt it but at first I didn't realize it was a blowout until bits of the tire started flying all over the place.  There was a thump at the instant of the blowout and the ride after that was rough but I thought it was roadwork--the trigger event was hitting a ridge in the road where a new surface had been laid down.  I was thinking the new surface must not be finished or something.
 
2013-03-08 08:43:48 PM  
Paging copsuckers, paging copsuckers... To your keyboards and kneepads!
 
2013-03-08 08:55:18 PM  
"If you're a cop, don't drive drunk. And if you do drive drunk, don't do it in an unmarked SWAT car. And if you do drive an unmarked SWAT car, don't let it catch on fire. And if it does catch on fire, don't try to put it out with water bottles"
-=-
I know you were trying to make a joke, but the fact of the matter would have been written...

"If you're a cop, go ahead get drunk and take that 50,000 dollar cruiser on a freakin' joy ride and trash it. Even if you kill someone it's okay because..."
"Henderson police, which has opened an internal investigation into the incident, said there was no indication Simo had been drinking.
Las Vegas police, which investigated the fire, determined nothing criminal had taken place and did not take an incident report, spokeswoman Laura Meltzer said."


And you all know it's pretty much true.
 
2013-03-08 10:41:56 PM  
Wow, he almost got in the type of trouble a normal person would.
 
2013-03-08 11:02:23 PM  

Todd300: Paging copsuckers, paging copsuckers... To your keyboards and kneepads!


Too bad for you, that didn't happen.
 
2013-03-09 10:23:27 AM  

lack of warmth: I see a story with unusual but likely series of events that a moron witness could actually be overreacting.  I have seen people drive on a flat, because they were trying to get somewhere safe to deal with it.  The officer could have been sober, realized he was driving on a flat and didn't think...


Negligence.
 
2013-03-09 12:11:43 PM  

IgG4: pedrop357: If he's suspended without pay, he'll have to forgo the essentials.  He only makes ~$100,000/yr.  Lay off cop haters.

http://transparentnevada.com/salaries/search/?t=name&q=justin+simo

$47k in "benefits"? How do I get in on that?


Each year, they get a ~$47,000 credit to do bad things.  Work or 5 years and you can get a credit for up to $250,000 in bad mojo.  So if you total a SWAT vehicle worth , your "account" gets docked and you only $200,000.  If you then go out and beat some homeless guy and shoot his dog, and the city settles for $175,000, now you're down to $25,000.  If you then go out and total another $50,000 vehicle, then you get fired or quietly asked to resign with full benefits.

This goes a long way towards explaining why cops who've been there a long time can do things that result in multi-million dollar payouts, they have enough in the "account".

It helps to do things in groups so that everyone's account can get docked a little.  If this guy had 4 dumbasses in the car, that's $12.5K each, which leaves a lot more room for lawsuit payouts related to viciously assaulting old people, shooting ice cream ladies, and all the other wonderful stuff the Henderson PD has do.
 
2013-03-09 09:48:33 PM  
In the cop's defense, he was drunk.
 
Displayed 72 of 72 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report