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(Daily Dot)   If you wind up in the hospital with a vibrator stuck in your ass, you might as well livetweet it   (dailydot.com ) divider line 161
    More: Dumbass, TMI  
•       •       •

18599 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2013 at 1:39 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



161 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-03-08 01:41:08 PM  
VIBRATOR IS COMING OUT
 
2013-03-08 01:41:47 PM  
If you went camping on the side of the road and woke up with a condom in your ass, would you tell anyone?

No...

Wanna go camping?
 
2013-03-08 01:42:41 PM  
Victim not a chick.
 
2013-03-08 01:43:00 PM  
getting lemons...making lemonade?
 
2013-03-08 01:43:10 PM  
Not.Gay.At.All. I.Slipped. Totally.  One.In.A.Million.Shot.Doc, I.Tell.Ya.
 
2013-03-08 01:43:12 PM  
i.imgur.com

Approves of the tweet's phrasing.
 
2013-03-08 01:43:34 PM  
Best use of Dumbass tag evar.
 
2013-03-08 01:44:26 PM  
Dear Abby: Is it gay when my girl dildoes me in the ass?
 
2013-03-08 01:44:50 PM  
'It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one.'"
 
2013-03-08 01:44:56 PM  
Here's the cyanide pill... You want to take it now, or wait until you get home?
 
2013-03-08 01:45:02 PM  
It's pretty common so the guy shouldn't have felt too strange..I've told some here before about my wife's exploits at the hospital she works at. She's in pathology, so she sees everything that comes out of ones body.

At least once a month she gets a container that says "foreign body, rectum"...sometimes the container is vibrating.

Sometimes it's a homemade device, like a piece of steel with a string attached and the string breaks. Sometimes, it's even more odd...like a pair of salad tongs.

And it's NEVER a woman getting it removed
 
2013-03-08 01:45:09 PM  

Yogimus: Dear Abby: Is it gay when my girl dildoes me in the ass?


Not if it's a strap on. Then "she's" the gay one.
 
2013-03-08 01:45:51 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: 'It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one.'"


Me thinks I beat you to it......
 
2013-03-08 01:46:13 PM  
www.genderforum.org
 
2013-03-08 01:46:25 PM  
so very scared?
 
2013-03-08 01:48:02 PM  

exit_wound: Victim not a chick.


It never is.
 
2013-03-08 01:48:11 PM  
You people who like to stick things up your bottoms: Don't you think to tie a string to the end of it so you can fetch it back out again?
 
2013-03-08 01:48:43 PM  

Yogimus: Dear Abby: Is it gay when my girl dildoes me in the ass?


No, only if you let her boyfriend do it.
 
2013-03-08 01:48:46 PM  
notice how he didn't say "my vibrator" but rather "a" vibrator.  like it was just one of those things that happens from time to time, and it's annoying but you just to deal with it.
 
2013-03-08 01:49:33 PM  

namegoeshere: You people who like to stick things up your bottoms: Don't you think to tie a string to the end of it so you can fetch it back out again?


Strings break..guess you didn't read my post^^^^^
 
2013-03-08 01:49:37 PM  

SirEattonHogg: getting lemons...making lemonade?


not this is 'round the corner where fudge is made.
 
2013-03-08 01:49:57 PM  
~ #officer sed voodoo dick my ass lol
 
2013-03-08 01:50:58 PM  
AKA typical day on TFD.
 
2013-03-08 01:51:01 PM  
Things that make you say "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
 
2013-03-08 01:51:03 PM  

publikenemy: namegoeshere: You people who like to stick things up your bottoms: Don't you think to tie a string to the end of it so you can fetch it back out again?

Strings break..guess you didn't read my post^^^^^


Ah. Um... Okay...
 
2013-03-08 01:51:25 PM  
My ex worked in a hospital lab on third shift.  The stories she had were amazing.  For instance, sometimes the tempered glass on the coffee table doesn't hold the weight of the suction cupped dildo and the user.  I suspect that was a very painful ER trip.
 
2013-03-08 01:51:33 PM  
*vomit*
 
2013-03-08 01:51:53 PM  
This article needs a Numbass tag.
 
2013-03-08 01:52:13 PM  

namegoeshere: You people who like to stick things up your bottoms: Don't you think to tie a string to the end of it so you can fetch it back out again?


... I read that as "so you can felch it out again", and got an entirely different image in my head than you were going for.


publikenemy: It's pretty common so the guy shouldn't have felt too strange..I've told some here before about my wife's exploits at the hospital she works at. She's in pathology, so she sees everything that comes out of ones body.

At least once a month she gets a container that says "foreign body, rectum"...sometimes the container is vibrating.

Sometimes it's a homemade device, like a piece of steel with a string attached and the string breaks. Sometimes, it's even more odd...like a pair of salad tongs.

And it's NEVER a woman getting it removed


So, guys like stuff in their asses, too, but don't want to admit it?
 
2013-03-08 01:54:06 PM  
Came for pic of the Anal Intruder. Leaving...too early?

/Three hours
//Smile
 
2013-03-08 01:54:16 PM  

mancheese: Best use of Dumbass tag evar.


I completely agree with your assessment and came here to say the same.  Well done.
 
2013-03-08 01:54:35 PM  
At least a guy who doesn't complain "It was an accident! I accidental sat down on a powered vibrator!"

/Still lol-ing about the dickhead
 
2013-03-08 01:54:48 PM  
Is this the story on the confused MMA fighter?
 
2013-03-08 01:57:32 PM  
Would a nice big fart help in a situation like this?
 
2013-03-08 01:57:35 PM  
Apparently it was no big deal...
 
2013-03-08 01:58:00 PM  

Anderson's Pooper: My ex worked in a hospital lab on third shift.  The stories she had were amazing.  For instance, sometimes the tempered glass on the coffee table doesn't hold the weight of the suction cupped dildo and the user.  I suspect that was a very painful ER trip.


Which is why you use masonry bolts and a concrete wall.

...So I've heard
 
2013-03-08 01:58:46 PM  
/waiting on RugbyJock's comments ... ...

// crickets chirping
 
2013-03-08 01:58:49 PM  
I just read this story to my GF right now. Maybe if I wasn't lol'g so hard I would've realized that she was, at that moment, stuffing a chicken with apple and onion.

Can't wait for dinner.
 
2013-03-08 01:59:01 PM  
Pretty dumb of him, if he had posted it live on Fark, I bet he could have gotten a submission credit.
 
2013-03-08 01:59:07 PM  
I'm sure if you did something that asinine and came to my local hospital they'd add insult to injury and tell you to take a seat and wait your turn.
 
2013-03-08 01:59:50 PM  
Was that Sam Rockwell movie any good?
 
2013-03-08 01:59:58 PM  
My god I gotta find and post the pic wifey showed me of the 5lb solid steel coke can sized device with coned ends and a loop to tie a rope to that came outta some poor bastard.

Rope broke of course

It was quite the surgery to remove it..


But HOW THE FARK did he get it up there that far!?
 
2013-03-08 02:01:40 PM  

Anderson's Pooper: My ex worked in a hospital lab on third shift.  The stories she had were amazing.  For instance, sometimes the tempered glass on the coffee table doesn't hold the weight of the suction cupped dildo and the user.  I suspect that was a very painful ER trip.


Not as painful as the guy that came into our ER after inserting a light bulb in his butt and it BROKE.
 
2013-03-08 02:02:17 PM  
Only if you call your vibrator "pickle".
 
2013-03-08 02:02:22 PM  
Did they put it in a bag so he could take it back home?
 
2013-03-08 02:02:30 PM  
Did you guys see the comments on that page?

"There must be a lawsuit in here somewhere"

I didn't want to register to ask... But is this idiot for real??
 
2013-03-08 02:04:50 PM  
That's the best ad for energizer I ever saw.
 
2013-03-08 02:05:32 PM  
CSB

Knew a hospital resident once that had a collection of X-rays he had stolen from the hospital. This was apparently a common-ish practice amongst the younger ER doctors at this hospital, and in fact, another doctor at the same hospital lost his license about a month later for putting x-rays up on the Internet.

Anyway, all of the x-rays had the ID stickers cut off, and all of them were pics of the ole "foreign object in rectum."

It was an amazing collection. There are three that I particularly remember. A lightbulb was one. A Barbie was another.

But the one that scarred me for life.... that one was a half-roll of paper towels wrapped in duct tape. It was farking enormous - I have no clue how it even arrived at its final location, given its size.

/csb
 
2013-03-08 02:07:00 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: namegoeshere: You people who like to stick things up your bottoms: Don't you think to tie a string to the end of it so you can fetch it back out again?

... I read that as "so you can felch it out again", and got an entirely different image in my head than you were going for.


Depends on how flexible the guy is.
 
2013-03-08 02:07:25 PM  
toolvinyl.com
 
2013-03-08 02:08:58 PM  
www.realfunfood.com
 
2013-03-08 02:10:16 PM  

exit_wound: Victim not a chick.


Aaaand I'm out!
 
2013-03-08 02:10:18 PM  

MadameX: Anderson's Pooper: My ex worked in a hospital lab on third shift.  The stories she had were amazing.  For instance, sometimes the tempered glass on the coffee table doesn't hold the weight of the suction cupped dildo and the user.  I suspect that was a very painful ER trip.

Not as painful as the guy that came into our ER after inserting a light bulb in his butt and it BROKE.


Not calling you a liar, but that sounds like an urban legend..

nursedude: I'm sure if you did something that asinine and came to my local hospital they'd add insult to injury and tell you to take a seat and wait your turn.


You said asinine... Heh... Also, It didn't say he didn't have to wait did it?  I profess to not knowing much about the poo-door, but People have butt plugs in for hours sometimes right?  At the same time, if it was 100% inserted into the rectum, depending on the flaring and rigidity of the base (where the batteries go) is it possible to damage the interior rings of the anus?  I would imagine its either an emergency or really not a big deal... No in between.
 
2013-03-08 02:10:38 PM  
As a wise man once said, "No one should ever have any object placed inside their asshole that is larger than a fist and less loving than a dildo, okay?"

www.freedomsphoenix.com
 
2013-03-08 02:12:27 PM  

MadameX: Anderson's Pooper: My ex worked in a hospital lab on third shift.  The stories she had were amazing.  For instance, sometimes the tempered glass on the coffee table doesn't hold the weight of the suction cupped dildo and the user.  I suspect that was a very painful ER trip.

Not as painful as the guy that came into our ER after inserting a light bulb in his butt and it BROKE.



I don't even understand why one'd do that, no matter how horny. Pick something, ANYTHING else. I'm pretty sure everyone has broken a lightbulb (or witnessed one shattering), enough to know that they're really fragile.

Plus, any number of condiment bottles have similar-ish profiles. They even make some that appear specifically designed for this type of task:

/Tell me that's not dildoesque
 
2013-03-08 02:13:00 PM  
userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2013-03-08 02:13:16 PM  

Lucidz: Not as painful as the guy that came into our ER after inserting a light bulb in his butt and it BROKE.

Not calling you a liar, but that sounds like an urban legend..


There was a video circulating online a while ago with the title of "one guy one jar" or something like that.  Dude was squatting down onto what looked like a glass olive jar.  And it broke.  And there was blood.  And yet I couldn't look away...

I'm sure you can find it on a torrent without much trouble.
 
2013-03-08 02:13:22 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: namegoeshere: You people who like to stick things up your bottoms: Don't you think to tie a string to the end of it so you can fetch it back out again?

... I read that as "so you can felch it out again", and got an entirely different image in my head than you were going for.


publikenemy: It's pretty common so the guy shouldn't have felt too strange..I've told some here before about my wife's exploits at the hospital she works at. She's in pathology, so she sees everything that comes out of ones body.

At least once a month she gets a container that says "foreign body, rectum"...sometimes the container is vibrating.

Sometimes it's a homemade device, like a piece of steel with a string attached and the string breaks. Sometimes, it's even more odd...like a pair of salad tongs.

And it's NEVER a woman getting it removed

So, guys like stuff in their asses, too, but don't want to admit it?


If you could just felch it back out again, you wouldn't need the string, silly!

Plus, you'd be unusually talented...
 
2013-03-08 02:13:32 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: As a wise man once said, "No one should ever have any object placed inside their asshole that is larger than a fist and less loving than a dildo, okay?"

[www.freedomsphoenix.com image 378x465]


I miss him... I got to see him live at one of his last performances...  He was pretty bitter and angry by then, but still super funny.
 
2013-03-08 02:16:19 PM  
Waiting for the 2pm x-rays promised in TFA.
 
2013-03-08 02:16:27 PM  
If I do something outrageous that no one in their right mind would do, I can get pain meds without questions.
 
2013-03-08 02:16:36 PM  

THX 1138: I'm sure you can find it on a torrent without much trouble.


NOOOOOOOOOnonononononononononononono....
 
2013-03-08 02:17:33 PM  
THX 1138:

Beat me to it...ya jerk.

Don't want it? Just need it?
 
2013-03-08 02:24:03 PM  
I swear, Doc.  It was the strangest thing.  There I was changing the light blub, and I fell off the ladder and landed on the vibrator.  POW! Right up my ass!

i73.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-08 02:25:03 PM  

Elegy: Knew a hospital resident once that had a collection of X-rays he had stolen from the hospital. This was apparently a common-ish practice amongst the younger ER doctors at this hospital, and in fact, another doctor at the same hospital lost his license about a month later for putting x-rays up on the Internet.


Yeah, that's kind of sick.

One of my classmates in 7th or 8th grade kept a scrapbook of gory pictures he clipped from newspapers and magazines. The only one I remember specifically was a person who had jumped out of a window and got impaled on a wrought iron fence with spikes. I heard he became a preacher after graduating. Unfortunately, that's a story I've seen repeated a number of times in the news since then. Usually they don't have photos. In cases like that, it's not unusual for the article to say they had to cut the fence and bring them into the hospital with the fence still embedded in their body to remove it surgically. They actually usually survive.

/shudder
 
2013-03-08 02:25:20 PM  
Goddamn GIS-fail... preview is my friend

Loomy:Plus, any number of condiment bottles have similar-ish profiles. They even make some that appear specifically designed for this type of task:

www.thebestjuicerreviews.com

/Tell me that's not dildoesque
 
2013-03-08 02:25:27 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-08 02:27:15 PM  
I find it pretty amazing that some could put their need to attention-whore over shame. What a douche.
 
2013-03-08 02:27:20 PM  

DreamSnipers: Pretty dumb of him, if he had posted it live on Fark, I bet he could have gotten a submission credit.


Not to mention 36 months' worth of TF offers and a hundred instances of BIE/WIE.
 
2013-03-08 02:27:40 PM  
They make butt plugs. With stoppers on the end.

You know, so they don't go in the whole way.

/Right tool for the job, as it were.
 
2013-03-08 02:27:50 PM  
Also worked in a hospital. Best one was this guy that came in with around a 3" O.D. X 3/4 I.D. about 1" thick steel ball bearing you know where. Surgeons had no idea what to do, short of amputating his dick, after lube and everything else had failed. The patient was not agreeing to have his dick cut off so.. The solution was they got our Mechanical department machinist to cut it off with abrasive discs and a die grinder.The pictures that leaked out showed his dong before the bearing was cut off and it looked like a big purple eggplant.

Vibrating dildo x rays were fairly common though.
.
 
2013-03-08 02:29:20 PM  

megarian: THX 1138:

Beat me to it...ya jerk.

Don't want it? Just need it?


To feel, to breathe, to know I'm alive!
 
2013-03-08 02:29:38 PM  
Maybe he just ate it and is having trouble passing it.
 
2013-03-08 02:30:26 PM  

THX 1138: [www.realfunfood.com image 409x275]


came for, leaving satisfied.
 
2013-03-08 02:31:27 PM  

Happy Hours: Elegy: Knew a hospital resident once that had a collection of X-rays he had stolen from the hospital. This was apparently a common-ish practice amongst the younger ER doctors at this hospital, and in fact, another doctor at the same hospital lost his license about a month later for putting x-rays up on the Internet.

Yeah, that's kind of sick.

One of my classmates in 7th or 8th grade kept a scrapbook of gory pictures he clipped from newspapers and magazines. The only one I remember specifically was a person who had jumped out of a window and got impaled on a wrought iron fence with spikes. I heard he became a preacher after graduating. Unfortunately, that's a story I've seen repeated a number of times in the news since then. Usually they don't have photos. In cases like that, it's not unusual for the article to say they had to cut the fence and bring them into the hospital with the fence still embedded in their body to remove it surgically. They actually usually survive.

/shudder



I once knew a guy who's father was a photographer for the police during the time when people were getting shot up by gansters every day.  He had boxes full of photos in his basement full of murder victims.

That was some of the most disturbing shiat I've ever seen!
 
2013-03-08 02:31:32 PM  
He just posted the 1st x ray picture on his twitter feed:
 
2013-03-08 02:31:53 PM  
Lucidz
MadameX:

Not as painful as the guy that came into our ER after inserting a light bulb in his butt and it BROKE.

Not calling you a liar, but that sounds like an urban legend..



Some kinds of bulb make that story waaay more likely than others
i.imgur.comi.imgur.com
 
2013-03-08 02:36:09 PM  

SirEattonHogg: getting lemons...making lemonade?


Lemon Party?
 
2013-03-08 02:38:02 PM  
note to self

don't gis
1 guy one jar
at work
ever
ever again
 
2013-03-08 02:38:17 PM  
Remember kids, just like with boar-spears, the cross-piece on a butt plug is there for a very important reason
 
2013-03-08 02:38:44 PM  
If sticking a vibrating dildo up my ass so far that I have to go to the hospital to have it removed is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
 
2013-03-08 02:40:21 PM  

publikenemy: And it's NEVER a woman getting it removed


The prostate knows no limits to how it likes to be stimulated.
 
2013-03-08 02:44:24 PM  

durbnpoisn: Happy Hours: Elegy: Knew a hospital resident once that had a collection of X-rays he had stolen from the hospital. This was apparently a common-ish practice amongst the younger ER doctors at this hospital, and in fact, another doctor at the same hospital lost his license about a month later for putting x-rays up on the Internet.

Yeah, that's kind of sick.

One of my classmates in 7th or 8th grade kept a scrapbook of gory pictures he clipped from newspapers and magazines. The only one I remember specifically was a person who had jumped out of a window and got impaled on a wrought iron fence with spikes. I heard he became a preacher after graduating. Unfortunately, that's a story I've seen repeated a number of times in the news since then. Usually they don't have photos. In cases like that, it's not unusual for the article to say they had to cut the fence and bring them into the hospital with the fence still embedded in their body to remove it surgically. They actually usually survive.

/shudder


I once knew a guy who's father was a photographer for the police during the time when people were getting shot up by gansters every day.  He had boxes full of photos in his basement full of murder victims.

That was some of the most disturbing shiat I've ever seen!


My dad was a sales rep for a (now-defunct) pharmaceutical company, and had acquired a number of medical books over the years.  One day in my early teens I went down to his office and absconded with a book on gynecology (as a teenager might be wont to do).  Of course, those books usually showed the abnormalities, as opposed to the normal stuff.... I don't know how I recovered, but I never "borrowed" one of my dad's books again.
 
2013-03-08 02:45:23 PM  

durbnpoisn: That was some of the most disturbing shiat I've ever seen!


May I introduce you to /b/?
 
2013-03-08 02:47:32 PM  
www.smashinglists.com

Chick w/ can of hairspray jammed up her butt.
 
2013-03-08 02:50:36 PM  
Use the indefinite article, its "a" dildo, not "your" dildo
 
2013-03-08 02:54:39 PM  

Loomy: Goddamn GIS-fail... preview is my friend

Loomy:Plus, any number of condiment bottles have similar-ish profiles. They even make some that appear specifically designed for this type of task:

[www.thebestjuicerreviews.com image 297x305]

/Tell me that's not dildoesque


That's not dildoesque, that's anal beads.
 
2013-03-08 02:55:10 PM  
a.abcnews.go.comimages2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-03-08 02:56:23 PM  

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: Was that Sam Rockwell movie any good?


no it was not good

/no monkey
//no chestnuts
 
2013-03-08 03:03:50 PM  
Heard about a guy admitted to an ER with a dildo up his ass.
After a thorough examination, the doc leaned over and asked "Did you want it removed or shall I just change the batteries?"
 
2013-03-08 03:09:20 PM  
This ladies and gentlemen is why anal toys have a flared base.  No flared base?  Keep it away from your (or your partners) poop shoot.

I'm curious for you doctor types, for a rather small cylindrical object like a dildo, why can't the person just poop it out the next time they have a movement?
 
2013-03-08 03:14:46 PM  
Don't do that, but I always wonder how far were they trying to shove that thing in.
 
2013-03-08 03:17:54 PM  

Fritriac: At least a guy who doesn't complain "It was an accident! I accidental sat down on a powered vibrator!"

/Still lol-ing about the dickhead


I never said it was an accident either.

I figured they had heard it all, so I might as well just dish out the truth.

/Was super entertaining. Props to UK medical center.
 
2013-03-08 03:23:20 PM  
Always 'The vibrator' never 'your vibrator'
 
2013-03-08 03:26:23 PM  
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

//Boobies as a TFer
 
2013-03-08 03:27:49 PM  
//Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"
 
2013-03-08 03:28:41 PM  

ShawnDoc: This ladies and gentlemen is why anal toys have a flared base.  No flared base?  Keep it away from your (or your partners) poop shoot.

I'm curious for you doctor types, for a rather small cylindrical object like a dildo, why can't the person just poop it out the next time they have a movement?


Reverse suction.
 
2013-03-08 03:31:40 PM  

ShawnDoc: This ladies and gentlemen is why anal toys have a flared base.  No flared base?  Keep it away from your (or your partners) poop shoot.


"[W]e will just have to conclude that flared-base advice isn't given to patients by doctors-ER or otherwise-because doctors secretly enjoy digging various foreign objects out of the variable rectums of various gentlemen. "

Dan Savage, Savage Love, 12/14/12
 
2013-03-08 03:32:16 PM  

MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"


You mean your Boobies was supposed to say In my Boobies?
 
2013-03-08 03:33:10 PM  

earthworm2.0: Reverse suction.


I could see that with a hollow object, but not a normal solid object.
 
2013-03-08 03:33:37 PM  
Just shows he should have used a larger dildo. Those little ones just get lost too easy.
 
2013-03-08 03:35:23 PM  

Magorn: Remember kids, just like with boar-spears, the cross-piece on a butt plug is there for a very important reason


Best analogy ever.
 
2013-03-08 03:35:51 PM  

ChipNASA: Not.Gay.At.All. I.Slipped. Totally.  One.In.A.Million.Shot.Doc, I.Tell.Ya.


CSB: One of my sisters is a paramedic.  Her first week on the job they were called to a house because a guy had a barbie doll stuck up his butt. He swore up and down that he fell on it. Two weeks later they got another call to the same house. You know those big Maglite flashlights? Yeah, he "fell on it".
 
2013-03-08 03:38:32 PM  
I worked at a hospital in SLC '92. Around Valentine's Day, a kid came in with one up the chute. That wasn't the major problem, his big issue was it'd been there for 3-4 days, and this young genius figured all he'd need was a laxative. After four bottles, he started having bad problems and his mom and aunt brought him in. I learned that the extraction wasn't an issue, but the massive OD of Milk of Magnesia landed him in the ICU for awhile.

A week later, an older guy came in with a similar problem, one of those teardrop-shaped light bulbs and it broke. He had to have colostomy bag installed while his butthole healed. One of the nurses I knew told me it happened at least once a month, with little uptick around major holidays. And almost every one of them swore they'd slipped and fell on a shampoo bottle/bulb/dildo/doll/hairbrush handle/etc.

It didn't help that the staff's collective emotional empathy was somewhere between 12 year old boy and Caligula. The doctors would openly discuss things like this in the halls, and the ER nurses had a pool on how many came in on a given month or holiday.
 
2013-03-08 03:39:14 PM  
//da hell is going on?  Boobies
 
2013-03-08 03:40:32 PM  
//I'm gonna have to bring this up at Lefty O'Douls next week.
 
2013-03-08 03:41:06 PM  

AgentKGB: ChipNASA: Not.Gay.At.All. I.Slipped. Totally.  One.In.A.Million.Shot.Doc, I.Tell.Ya.

CSB: One of my sisters is a paramedic.  Her first week on the job they were called to a house because a guy had a barbie doll stuck up his butt. He swore up and down that he fell on it. Two weeks later they got another call to the same house. You know those big Maglite flashlights? Yeah, he "fell on it".


i21.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-08 03:41:32 PM  

Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your Boobies was supposed to say In my Boobies?


yes
 
909
2013-03-08 03:41:44 PM  
Subby, NOW you tell me.
 
2013-03-08 03:48:04 PM  
what the hell is a livet weet
 
2013-03-08 03:53:25 PM  

dallylamma: [a.abcnews.go.com image 640x411][images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 755x564]


So that's the 'Beyond" he meant. Doesn't seem so infinite now.
 
2013-03-08 03:55:30 PM  

dallylamma: [a.abcnews.go.com image 640x411]



Is....is that a Buzz Lightyear action figure?

/"And beyond!", indeed!
 
2013-03-08 04:01:09 PM  
www.ledzeppelinguitar.com
 
2013-03-08 04:01:39 PM  
 
2013-03-08 04:01:40 PM  
A friend's mom was an ER nurse in Arizona. She says two gentlemen succeeded in inserting one man's foot into the other man, but were unable to remove said foot; so they took a taxi to the ER.

Mostly, she remembers the confusion on the face of the taxi driver. English was not his first language, and he could not understand why two Americans would do such a thing.

My 3rd CSB this week :)
 
2013-03-08 04:05:05 PM  

AiryAnne: [www.ledzeppelinguitar.com image 800x800]


Farking beautiful. I bow.
 
2013-03-08 04:05:56 PM  

MOGGEE: //da hell is going on?  Boobies


Filter pwnage. Try the "n" word, and the "in communist Russia" one too. Go on, get it out of your system. You know you want too.
 
2013-03-08 04:07:28 PM  

GypsyJoker: so very scared?


This repeated through my mind while actually reading through the twitter feed. That guy took it rather well.
 
2013-03-08 04:07:49 PM  
And that's why objects meant for anal play have flared bases.

images.wikia.com
 
2013-03-08 04:12:15 PM  

hardinparamedic: And that's why objects meant for anal play have flared bases.

[images.wikia.com image 549x362]


Hey now, I didn't have a stickage issue, it was more of a rigging problem.

/should never have trusted the girlfriends futon frame
 
2013-03-08 04:14:05 PM  

AiryAnne: [www.ledzeppelinguitar.com image 800x800]


Clever!
 
2013-03-08 04:18:28 PM  
Had a buddy who was a Navy medic. He told me one fellow came in with a MASON JAR stuck up there. Removal wasn't pleasant for anyone.

/People are crazy, and horny dudes are the worst.
 
2013-03-08 04:19:40 PM  

MOGGEE: //da hell is going on?  Boobies


You're new here. I can tell.
 
2013-03-08 04:20:52 PM  

limeyfellow: Just shows he should have used a larger dildo. Those little ones just get lost too easy.


according to the fellow: televised snowmang @Grawly
@2m plastic, about 8 inches?


i gotta admit you got a funny definition of 'little'.
 
2013-03-08 04:21:28 PM  

MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your Boobies was supposed to say In my Boobies?

yes


How u post magic werds how??
 
2013-03-08 04:21:50 PM  

digitalrain: [www.smashinglists.com image 600x729]

Chick w/ can of hairspray jammed up her butt.


Not a chick.  Male pelvis has a 90 degree angle. And you can see the dick shadow.

Have heard so many similar stories & seen so many x-rays through the years, so I probably should be over it, but I laughed until tears ran down my face.  Maybe because I don't do twitter, so that was my first ever twitter experience.  That guy & his friends are farking hilarious.

/still not going to do twitter, unless via fark
 
2013-03-08 04:28:08 PM  

namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your Boobies was supposed to say In my Boobies?

yes

How u post magic werds how??


I leveled up.
 
2013-03-08 04:30:08 PM  

namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your Boobies was supposed to say In my Boobies?

yes

How u post magic werds how??



encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

//holy werds
 
2013-03-08 04:36:51 PM  

Shadow Blasko: namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your Boobies was supposed to say In my Boobies?

yes

How u post magic werds how??

I leveled up.


MOGGEE: //holy werds


[hangs head]
 
2013-03-08 04:37:26 PM  

Shadow Blasko: namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your Boobies was supposed to say In my Boobies?

yes

How u post magic werds how??

I leveled up.


I wonder if I can get in on this Boobies magic.
 
2013-03-08 04:43:54 PM  

UsikFark: Shadow Blasko: namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your Boobies was supposed to say In my Boobies?

yes

How u post magic werds how??

I leveled up.

I wonder if I can get in on this Boobies magic.


Check the thread a few up about pasties... There will probably be some magic boobies posted in that one.
 
2013-03-08 04:46:57 PM  

Shadow Blasko: namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your Boobies was supposed to say In my Boobies?

yes

How u post magic werds how??

I leveled up.


Cast magic spell of UTF-8!

/If people keep using that trick, they're going to change the filter again...
 
2013-03-08 04:49:35 PM  

RobSeace: Shadow Blasko: namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your Boobies was supposed to say In my Boobies?

yes

How u post magic werds how??

I leveled up.

Cast magic spell of UTF-8!

/If people keep using that trick, they're going to change the filter again...


11100010 10000010 10101100
 
2013-03-08 04:50:55 PM  

The Irresponsible Captain: They make butt plugs. With stoppers on the end.

You know, so they don't go in the whole way.

/Right tool for the job, as it were.


I guess when you ass feels like a nail, every tool is a hammer. Or something like that. Hey, I'll tell you what. You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn't you rather to take his word for it?
 
2013-03-08 04:51:08 PM  

RobSeace: Shadow Blasko: namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your Boobies was supposed to say In my Boobies?

yes

How u post magic werds how??

I leveled up.

Cast magic spell of UTF-8!

/If people keep using that trick, they're going to change the filter again...


I know, but I can't resist it when hazing the noobs. He has TF, he should know about filter words by now, so I thought it was an appropriately public introduction to the concept of RTFQ

/Expects the mods to make this whole conversation about it go away within the hour.
 
2013-03-08 04:56:27 PM  

Shadow Blasko: Expects the mods to make this whole conversation about it go away within the hour.


Not so funny now, is it, funny-man?
 
2013-03-08 04:56:42 PM  
CSB time...

I used to work in downtown Boston many years ago. One day, the guy taking trash out to the dumpster in the alley comes up to me absolutely green in the face, telling me I have to see something disgusting in the alley. He wanted to share the experience I suppose. We go there and there, on the ground, is a men's athletic sock, filled up with sand but spilling out the top, wrapped in a condom and covered in what looked like lube, blood and feces.

It took the better part of the day to stop vomiting in my mouth at the memory. Still feel ill writing this down, in fact.

/Best part, the next morning it was gone.
 
2013-03-08 04:57:37 PM  
ewwwww
 
2013-03-08 05:02:46 PM  

UsikFark: Shadow Blasko: Expects the mods to make this whole conversation about it go away within the hour.

Not so funny now, is it, funny-man?


YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH WHEN BILLY MAYS IS TALKING.
 
2013-03-08 05:02:59 PM  

yoursafewordisharder: CSB time...  [snip]

/Best part, the next morning it was gone.


I really didn't want to split up the pair.
 
2013-03-08 05:04:30 PM  

UsikFark: Shadow Blasko: Expects the mods to make this whole conversation about it go away within the hour.

Not so funny now, is it, funny-man?


Caught your show at the Velvet room at the Holiday Inn.. I loved it when you broke into Viva Las Vegas.
 
2013-03-08 05:34:15 PM  

Shadow Blasko: I know, but I can't resist it when hazing the noobs. He has TF, he should know about filter words by now,


What I still don't get, is when do the Weeners kick in?  FAQ says something about variants of firsting, but I've always been curious as to which.
 
2013-03-08 05:45:57 PM  

thisone: Shadow Blasko: I know, but I can't resist it when hazing the noobs. He has TF, he should know about filter words by now,

What I still don't get, is when do the Weeners kick in?  FAQ says something about variants of firsting, but I've always been curious as to which.


Weeners if I am not mistaken

Weeners
 
2013-03-08 05:46:46 PM  
Yep, thats it.
 
2013-03-08 05:51:52 PM  

UsikFark: 11100010 10000010 10101100


€? I can't believe I wasted time decoding that, expecting it to be one of the more interesting Unicode characters...

/Like ☕ or ☔... Truly useful, those are...
/My favorite is 💩, but sadly it won't render in my browser...
//Search for U+1F4A9...
 
2013-03-08 06:03:24 PM  

yoursafewordisharder: CSB time...

I used to work in downtown Boston many years ago. One day, the guy taking trash out to the dumpster in the alley comes up to me absolutely green in the face, telling me I have to see something disgusting in the alley. He wanted to share the experience I suppose. We go there and there, on the ground, is a men's athletic sock, filled up with sand but spilling out the top, wrapped in a condom and covered in what looked like lube, blood and feces.

It took the better part of the day to stop vomiting in my mouth at the memory. Still feel ill writing this down, in fact.

/Best part, the next morning it was gone.


I did not need to read that
 
2013-03-08 06:37:46 PM  

RobSeace: UsikFark: 11100010 10000010 10101100

€? I can't believe I wasted time decoding that, expecting it to be one of the more interesting Unicode characters...

/Like ☕ or ☔... Truly useful, those are...
/My favorite is 💩, but sadly it won't render in my browser...
//Search for U+1F4A9...


A google search should have pulled up the wiki page I got it from. I don't have the patience to do penetration testing of the fark filter today :-|
 
2013-03-08 07:01:35 PM  
Even worse, you end up in an article on "The Daily Dot".

Sounds British-

/No, DNRTFA
 
2013-03-08 07:09:59 PM  
The fact that people feel that every nuance of their lives are worthy of facebook or twitter just boggles my mind. Not to mention the embarrassment he should feel about such a "boner" predicament. I can barely imagine how self-centered celebrities feel compelled to post their every act, let alone nobodies with a vibrator up their ass. Seems to be a "Jerry Springer" phenomena; could never understand how/why people would rush to air their dirty secrets in any media, let alone the fact that they appear to be "proud" of their shameful acts. Truly time for a "culling of the herd"

/Take me first; I'm tired of this wacky, tacky "rush to the bottom" (or proud dildo in the bottom) world-

//eyeing the sky for fat boy's NK nuke
 
2013-03-08 07:22:51 PM  
"You people who like to stick things up your bottoms: Don't you think to tie a string to the end of it so you can fetch it back out again?"

This logic assumes that the object will be (or could be)  fully inserted- I don't get that either. It seems to me to be one thing to stick something in your ass, another to desire to stick it so far it won't come out- I suppose the "string theory" has merit if the full insertion was somehow performed in error and unintentional... butt the hole thing (ha) just confuses me-

Additionally, I don't believe insertion of something in your butt is necessarily "gay". At least that's what the sex experts seem to conclude. I think that stimulation of any body part just equates to that; stimulation. I suppose it all comes down to what you are thinking about when you are enjoying said stimulation- And that's largely assuming you are alone. I have met numerous girls over the years who profess to enjoying sticking things up men's bottoms. At least one said she thought it was penis envy or a desire to "fark a guy for a change"

I feel dirty having even commented on either subject- ick

//no, not gay
 
2013-03-08 07:23:57 PM  
Truly an attention whore-
 
2013-03-08 07:28:16 PM  
Additionally:

What's a "livertweet"? Sounds like a doggy snack-

Cursory Google search on his twitter "handle" gave me a laugh:

The latest from televised snowmang (@Grawly). im a loner. dangerous. sexy. 8 years old kicking around in huggies® listening to koreans scream into...

What a freak (and proud of it)
 
2013-03-08 07:36:23 PM  

Bung_Howdy: Even worse, you end up in an article on "The Daily Dot".

Sounds British-

/No, DNRTFA


Here's your Daily Dot:

l.yimg.com
 
2013-03-08 08:19:26 PM  
But I poop from there!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2OyQdsHJvU

Just sayin...
 
2013-03-08 08:34:33 PM  
UsikFark:
A google search should have pulled up the wiki page I got it from. I don't have the patience to do penetration testing of the fark filter today :-|

Thread relevant.
 
2013-03-08 09:23:15 PM  
Seems like you could just wait a little while and possibly shiat it out.
I mean a dildo is not soft like crap, but that feeling of "I gotta crap" makes the butthole expand willingly...would it not pop out? Especially if you have been "working it like a dog", it should be loose, right?

And then, if you're going to buy a dildo to do a little self ass-play, wouldn't it be a good idea to get one long enough not to lose it, or one with a stopper on the back?

/Just some thoughts.
 
2013-03-08 11:26:30 PM  

Happy Hours: Bung_Howdy: Even worse, you end up in an article on "The Daily Dot".

Sounds British-

/No, DNRTFA

Here's your Daily Dot:

[l.yimg.com image 630x300]


0.tqn.com

Eh wot?
 
2013-03-09 04:47:30 AM  

UsikFark: RobSeace: UsikFark: 11100010 10000010 10101100

€? I can't believe I wasted time decoding that, expecting it to be one of the more interesting Unicode characters...

/Like ☕ or ☔... Truly useful, those are...
/My favorite is 💩, but sadly it won't render in my browser...
//Search for U+1F4A9...

A google search should have pulled up the wiki page I got it from. I don't have the patience to do penetration testing of the fark filter today :-|


I'm sure that's what the guy in the article was doing too!!!

/"penetration testing"
 
2013-03-09 07:34:28 AM  

sloshed_again: Would a nice big fart help in a situation like this?


No, but a lot of beans, raisins and cabbage would be a good reminder of what your asshole is for.
 
2013-03-09 09:21:22 AM  

Resident Muslim: UsikFark: A google search should have pulled up the wiki page I got it from. I don't have the patience to do penetration testing of the fark filter today :-|

I'm sure that's what the guy in the article was doing too!!!

/"penetration testing"


Apparently, he found a "security hole"...
 
2013-03-09 07:55:18 PM  

AgentKGB: ChipNASA: Not.Gay.At.All. I.Slipped. Totally.  One.In.A.Million.Shot.Doc, I.Tell.Ya.

CSB: One of my sisters is a paramedic.  Her first week on the job they were called to a house because a guy had a barbie doll stuck up his butt. He swore up and down that he fell on it. Two weeks later they got another call to the same house. You know those big Maglite flashlights? Yeah, he "fell on it".


I had a friend who was an X-ray tech. They always "fell on it". A guy came in with two potatoes up there. Yup. He fell accidentally fell on one then accidentally fell on the other one.
 
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