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(Daily Dot)   If you wind up in the hospital with a vibrator stuck in your ass, you might as well livetweet it   (dailydot.com) divider line 162
    More: Dumbass, TMI  
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18513 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2013 at 1:39 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-08 03:33:37 PM
Just shows he should have used a larger dildo. Those little ones just get lost too easy.
 
2013-03-08 03:35:23 PM

Magorn: Remember kids, just like with boar-spears, the cross-piece on a butt plug is there for a very important reason


Best analogy ever.
 
2013-03-08 03:35:51 PM

ChipNASA: Not.Gay.At.All. I.Slipped. Totally.  One.In.A.Million.Shot.Doc, I.Tell.Ya.


CSB: One of my sisters is a paramedic.  Her first week on the job they were called to a house because a guy had a barbie doll stuck up his butt. He swore up and down that he fell on it. Two weeks later they got another call to the same house. You know those big Maglite flashlights? Yeah, he "fell on it".
 
2013-03-08 03:38:32 PM
I worked at a hospital in SLC '92. Around Valentine's Day, a kid came in with one up the chute. That wasn't the major problem, his big issue was it'd been there for 3-4 days, and this young genius figured all he'd need was a laxative. After four bottles, he started having bad problems and his mom and aunt brought him in. I learned that the extraction wasn't an issue, but the massive OD of Milk of Magnesia landed him in the ICU for awhile.

A week later, an older guy came in with a similar problem, one of those teardrop-shaped light bulbs and it broke. He had to have colostomy bag installed while his butthole healed. One of the nurses I knew told me it happened at least once a month, with little uptick around major holidays. And almost every one of them swore they'd slipped and fell on a shampoo bottle/bulb/dildo/doll/hairbrush handle/etc.

It didn't help that the staff's collective emotional empathy was somewhere between 12 year old boy and Caligula. The doctors would openly discuss things like this in the halls, and the ER nurses had a pool on how many came in on a given month or holiday.
 
2013-03-08 03:39:14 PM
//da hell is going on?  Boobies
 
2013-03-08 03:40:32 PM
//I'm gonna have to bring this up at Lefty O'Douls next week.
 
2013-03-08 03:41:06 PM

AgentKGB: ChipNASA: Not.Gay.At.All. I.Slipped. Totally.  One.In.A.Million.Shot.Doc, I.Tell.Ya.

CSB: One of my sisters is a paramedic.  Her first week on the job they were called to a house because a guy had a barbie doll stuck up his butt. He swore up and down that he fell on it. Two weeks later they got another call to the same house. You know those big Maglite flashlights? Yeah, he "fell on it".


i21.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-08 03:41:32 PM

Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your first post was supposed to say In my first post?


yes
 
909
2013-03-08 03:41:44 PM
Subby, NOW you tell me.
 
2013-03-08 03:48:04 PM
what the hell is a livet weet
 
2013-03-08 03:53:25 PM

dallylamma: [a.abcnews.go.com image 640x411][images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 755x564]


So that's the 'Beyond" he meant. Doesn't seem so infinite now.
 
2013-03-08 03:55:30 PM

dallylamma: [a.abcnews.go.com image 640x411]



Is....is that a Buzz Lightyear action figure?

/"And beyond!", indeed!
 
2013-03-08 04:01:09 PM
www.ledzeppelinguitar.com
 
2013-03-08 04:01:39 PM
 
2013-03-08 04:01:40 PM
A friend's mom was an ER nurse in Arizona. She says two gentlemen succeeded in inserting one man's foot into the other man, but were unable to remove said foot; so they took a taxi to the ER.

Mostly, she remembers the confusion on the face of the taxi driver. English was not his first language, and he could not understand why two Americans would do such a thing.

My 3rd CSB this week :)
 
2013-03-08 04:05:05 PM

AiryAnne: [www.ledzeppelinguitar.com image 800x800]


Farking beautiful. I bow.
 
2013-03-08 04:05:56 PM

MOGGEE: //da hell is going on?  Boobies


Filter pwnage. Try the "n" word, and the "in communist Russia" one too. Go on, get it out of your system. You know you want too.
 
2013-03-08 04:07:28 PM

GypsyJoker: so very scared?


This repeated through my mind while actually reading through the twitter feed. That guy took it rather well.
 
2013-03-08 04:07:49 PM
And that's why objects meant for anal play have flared bases.

images.wikia.com
 
2013-03-08 04:12:15 PM

hardinparamedic: And that's why objects meant for anal play have flared bases.

[images.wikia.com image 549x362]


Hey now, I didn't have a stickage issue, it was more of a rigging problem.

/should never have trusted the girlfriends futon frame
 
2013-03-08 04:14:05 PM

AiryAnne: [www.ledzeppelinguitar.com image 800x800]


Clever!
 
2013-03-08 04:18:28 PM
Had a buddy who was a Navy medic. He told me one fellow came in with a MASON JAR stuck up there. Removal wasn't pleasant for anyone.

/People are crazy, and horny dudes are the worst.
 
2013-03-08 04:19:40 PM

MOGGEE: //da hell is going on?  Boobies


You're new here. I can tell.
 
2013-03-08 04:20:52 PM

limeyfellow: Just shows he should have used a larger dildo. Those little ones just get lost too easy.


according to the fellow: televised snowmang @Grawly
@2m plastic, about 8 inches?


i gotta admit you got a funny definition of 'little'.
 
2013-03-08 04:21:28 PM

MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your first post was supposed to say In my first post?

yes


How u post magic werds how??
 
2013-03-08 04:21:50 PM

digitalrain: [www.smashinglists.com image 600x729]

Chick w/ can of hairspray jammed up her butt.


Not a chick.  Male pelvis has a 90 degree angle. And you can see the dick shadow.

Have heard so many similar stories & seen so many x-rays through the years, so I probably should be over it, but I laughed until tears ran down my face.  Maybe because I don't do twitter, so that was my first ever twitter experience.  That guy & his friends are farking hilarious.

/still not going to do twitter, unless via fark
 
2013-03-08 04:28:08 PM

namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your first post was supposed to say In my first post?

yes

How u post magic werds how??


I leveled up.
 
2013-03-08 04:30:08 PM

namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your first post was supposed to say In my first post?

yes

How u post magic werds how??



encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

//holy werds
 
2013-03-08 04:36:51 PM

Shadow Blasko: namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your first post was supposed to say In my first post?

yes

How u post magic werds how??

I leveled up.


MOGGEE: //holy werds


[hangs head]
 
2013-03-08 04:37:26 PM

Shadow Blasko: namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your first post was supposed to say In my first post?

yes

How u post magic werds how??

I leveled up.


I wonder if I can get in on this Boobies magic.
 
2013-03-08 04:43:54 PM

UsikFark: Shadow Blasko: namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your first post was supposed to say In my first post?

yes

How u post magic werds how??

I leveled up.

I wonder if I can get in on this Boobies magic.


Check the thread a few up about pasties... There will probably be some magic boobies posted in that one.
 
2013-03-08 04:46:57 PM

Shadow Blasko: namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your first post was supposed to say In my first post?

yes

How u post magic werds how??

I leveled up.


Cast magic spell of UTF-8!

/If people keep using that trick, they're going to change the filter again...
 
2013-03-08 04:49:35 PM

RobSeace: Shadow Blasko: namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your first post was supposed to say In my first post?

yes

How u post magic werds how??

I leveled up.

Cast magic spell of UTF-8!

/If people keep using that trick, they're going to change the filter again...


11100010 10000010 10101100
 
2013-03-08 04:50:55 PM

The Irresponsible Captain: They make butt plugs. With stoppers on the end.

You know, so they don't go in the whole way.

/Right tool for the job, as it were.


I guess when you ass feels like a nail, every tool is a hammer. Or something like that. Hey, I'll tell you what. You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn't you rather to take his word for it?
 
2013-03-08 04:51:08 PM

RobSeace: Shadow Blasko: namegoeshere: MOGGEE: Shadow Blasko: MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"

You mean your first post was supposed to say In my first post?

yes

How u post magic werds how??

I leveled up.

Cast magic spell of UTF-8!

/If people keep using that trick, they're going to change the filter again...


I know, but I can't resist it when hazing the noobs. He has TF, he should know about filter words by now, so I thought it was an appropriately public introduction to the concept of RTFQ

/Expects the mods to make this whole conversation about it go away within the hour.
 
2013-03-08 04:56:27 PM

Shadow Blasko: Expects the mods to make this whole conversation about it go away within the hour.


Not so funny now, is it, funny-man?
 
2013-03-08 04:56:42 PM
CSB time...

I used to work in downtown Boston many years ago. One day, the guy taking trash out to the dumpster in the alley comes up to me absolutely green in the face, telling me I have to see something disgusting in the alley. He wanted to share the experience I suppose. We go there and there, on the ground, is a men's athletic sock, filled up with sand but spilling out the top, wrapped in a condom and covered in what looked like lube, blood and feces.

It took the better part of the day to stop vomiting in my mouth at the memory. Still feel ill writing this down, in fact.

/Best part, the next morning it was gone.
 
2013-03-08 04:57:37 PM
ewwwww
 
2013-03-08 05:02:46 PM

UsikFark: Shadow Blasko: Expects the mods to make this whole conversation about it go away within the hour.

Not so funny now, is it, funny-man?


YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH WHEN BILLY MAYS IS TALKING.
 
2013-03-08 05:02:59 PM

yoursafewordisharder: CSB time...  [snip]

/Best part, the next morning it was gone.


I really didn't want to split up the pair.
 
2013-03-08 05:04:30 PM

UsikFark: Shadow Blasko: Expects the mods to make this whole conversation about it go away within the hour.

Not so funny now, is it, funny-man?


Caught your show at the Velvet room at the Holiday Inn.. I loved it when you broke into Viva Las Vegas.
 
2013-03-08 05:34:15 PM

Shadow Blasko: I know, but I can't resist it when hazing the noobs. He has TF, he should know about filter words by now,


What I still don't get, is when do the Weeners kick in?  FAQ says something about variants of firsting, but I've always been curious as to which.
 
2013-03-08 05:45:57 PM

thisone: Shadow Blasko: I know, but I can't resist it when hazing the noobs. He has TF, he should know about filter words by now,

What I still don't get, is when do the Weeners kick in?  FAQ says something about variants of firsting, but I've always been curious as to which.


first response if I am not mistaken

Weeners
 
2013-03-08 05:46:46 PM
Yep, thats it.
 
2013-03-08 05:51:52 PM

UsikFark: 11100010 10000010 10101100


€? I can't believe I wasted time decoding that, expecting it to be one of the more interesting Unicode characters...

/Like ☕ or ☔... Truly useful, those are...
/My favorite is 💩, but sadly it won't render in my browser...
//Search for U+1F4A9...
 
2013-03-08 06:03:24 PM

yoursafewordisharder: CSB time...

I used to work in downtown Boston many years ago. One day, the guy taking trash out to the dumpster in the alley comes up to me absolutely green in the face, telling me I have to see something disgusting in the alley. He wanted to share the experience I suppose. We go there and there, on the ground, is a men's athletic sock, filled up with sand but spilling out the top, wrapped in a condom and covered in what looked like lube, blood and feces.

It took the better part of the day to stop vomiting in my mouth at the memory. Still feel ill writing this down, in fact.

/Best part, the next morning it was gone.


I did not need to read that
 
2013-03-08 06:37:46 PM

RobSeace: UsikFark: 11100010 10000010 10101100

€? I can't believe I wasted time decoding that, expecting it to be one of the more interesting Unicode characters...

/Like ☕ or ☔... Truly useful, those are...
/My favorite is 💩, but sadly it won't render in my browser...
//Search for U+1F4A9...


A google search should have pulled up the wiki page I got it from. I don't have the patience to do penetration testing of the fark filter today :-|
 
2013-03-08 07:01:35 PM
Even worse, you end up in an article on "The Daily Dot".

Sounds British-

/No, DNRTFA
 
2013-03-08 07:09:59 PM
The fact that people feel that every nuance of their lives are worthy of facebook or twitter just boggles my mind. Not to mention the embarrassment he should feel about such a "boner" predicament. I can barely imagine how self-centered celebrities feel compelled to post their every act, let alone nobodies with a vibrator up their ass. Seems to be a "Jerry Springer" phenomena; could never understand how/why people would rush to air their dirty secrets in any media, let alone the fact that they appear to be "proud" of their shameful acts. Truly time for a "culling of the herd"

/Take me first; I'm tired of this wacky, tacky "rush to the bottom" (or proud dildo in the bottom) world-

//eyeing the sky for fat boy's NK nuke
 
2013-03-08 07:22:51 PM
"You people who like to stick things up your bottoms: Don't you think to tie a string to the end of it so you can fetch it back out again?"

This logic assumes that the object will be (or could be)  fully inserted- I don't get that either. It seems to me to be one thing to stick something in your ass, another to desire to stick it so far it won't come out- I suppose the "string theory" has merit if the full insertion was somehow performed in error and unintentional... butt the hole thing (ha) just confuses me-

Additionally, I don't believe insertion of something in your butt is necessarily "gay". At least that's what the sex experts seem to conclude. I think that stimulation of any body part just equates to that; stimulation. I suppose it all comes down to what you are thinking about when you are enjoying said stimulation- And that's largely assuming you are alone. I have met numerous girls over the years who profess to enjoying sticking things up men's bottoms. At least one said she thought it was penis envy or a desire to "fark a guy for a change"

I feel dirty having even commented on either subject- ick

//no, not gay
 
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