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(Daily Dot)   If you wind up in the hospital with a vibrator stuck in your ass, you might as well livetweet it   (dailydot.com) divider line 162
    More: Dumbass, TMI  
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18504 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2013 at 1:39 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-08 02:08:58 PM
www.realfunfood.com
 
2013-03-08 02:10:16 PM

exit_wound: Victim not a chick.


Aaaand I'm out!
 
2013-03-08 02:10:18 PM

MadameX: Anderson's Pooper: My ex worked in a hospital lab on third shift.  The stories she had were amazing.  For instance, sometimes the tempered glass on the coffee table doesn't hold the weight of the suction cupped dildo and the user.  I suspect that was a very painful ER trip.

Not as painful as the guy that came into our ER after inserting a light bulb in his butt and it BROKE.


Not calling you a liar, but that sounds like an urban legend..

nursedude: I'm sure if you did something that asinine and came to my local hospital they'd add insult to injury and tell you to take a seat and wait your turn.


You said asinine... Heh... Also, It didn't say he didn't have to wait did it?  I profess to not knowing much about the poo-door, but People have butt plugs in for hours sometimes right?  At the same time, if it was 100% inserted into the rectum, depending on the flaring and rigidity of the base (where the batteries go) is it possible to damage the interior rings of the anus?  I would imagine its either an emergency or really not a big deal... No in between.
 
2013-03-08 02:10:38 PM
As a wise man once said, "No one should ever have any object placed inside their asshole that is larger than a fist and less loving than a dildo, okay?"

www.freedomsphoenix.com
 
2013-03-08 02:12:27 PM

MadameX: Anderson's Pooper: My ex worked in a hospital lab on third shift.  The stories she had were amazing.  For instance, sometimes the tempered glass on the coffee table doesn't hold the weight of the suction cupped dildo and the user.  I suspect that was a very painful ER trip.

Not as painful as the guy that came into our ER after inserting a light bulb in his butt and it BROKE.



I don't even understand why one'd do that, no matter how horny. Pick something, ANYTHING else. I'm pretty sure everyone has broken a lightbulb (or witnessed one shattering), enough to know that they're really fragile.

Plus, any number of condiment bottles have similar-ish profiles. They even make some that appear specifically designed for this type of task:

/Tell me that's not dildoesque
 
2013-03-08 02:13:00 PM
userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2013-03-08 02:13:16 PM

Lucidz: Not as painful as the guy that came into our ER after inserting a light bulb in his butt and it BROKE.

Not calling you a liar, but that sounds like an urban legend..


There was a video circulating online a while ago with the title of "one guy one jar" or something like that.  Dude was squatting down onto what looked like a glass olive jar.  And it broke.  And there was blood.  And yet I couldn't look away...

I'm sure you can find it on a torrent without much trouble.
 
2013-03-08 02:13:22 PM

FirstNationalBastard: namegoeshere: You people who like to stick things up your bottoms: Don't you think to tie a string to the end of it so you can fetch it back out again?

... I read that as "so you can felch it out again", and got an entirely different image in my head than you were going for.


publikenemy: It's pretty common so the guy shouldn't have felt too strange..I've told some here before about my wife's exploits at the hospital she works at. She's in pathology, so she sees everything that comes out of ones body.

At least once a month she gets a container that says "foreign body, rectum"...sometimes the container is vibrating.

Sometimes it's a homemade device, like a piece of steel with a string attached and the string breaks. Sometimes, it's even more odd...like a pair of salad tongs.

And it's NEVER a woman getting it removed

So, guys like stuff in their asses, too, but don't want to admit it?


If you could just felch it back out again, you wouldn't need the string, silly!

Plus, you'd be unusually talented...
 
2013-03-08 02:13:32 PM

FirstNationalBastard: As a wise man once said, "No one should ever have any object placed inside their asshole that is larger than a fist and less loving than a dildo, okay?"

[www.freedomsphoenix.com image 378x465]


I miss him... I got to see him live at one of his last performances...  He was pretty bitter and angry by then, but still super funny.
 
2013-03-08 02:16:19 PM
Waiting for the 2pm x-rays promised in TFA.
 
2013-03-08 02:16:27 PM
If I do something outrageous that no one in their right mind would do, I can get pain meds without questions.
 
2013-03-08 02:16:36 PM

THX 1138: I'm sure you can find it on a torrent without much trouble.


NOOOOOOOOOnonononononononononononono....
 
2013-03-08 02:17:33 PM

THX 1138:


Beat me to it...ya jerk.

Don't want it? Just need it?
 
2013-03-08 02:24:03 PM
I swear, Doc.  It was the strangest thing.  There I was changing the light blub, and I fell off the ladder and landed on the vibrator.  POW! Right up my ass!

i73.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-08 02:25:03 PM

Elegy: Knew a hospital resident once that had a collection of X-rays he had stolen from the hospital. This was apparently a common-ish practice amongst the younger ER doctors at this hospital, and in fact, another doctor at the same hospital lost his license about a month later for putting x-rays up on the Internet.


Yeah, that's kind of sick.

One of my classmates in 7th or 8th grade kept a scrapbook of gory pictures he clipped from newspapers and magazines. The only one I remember specifically was a person who had jumped out of a window and got impaled on a wrought iron fence with spikes. I heard he became a preacher after graduating. Unfortunately, that's a story I've seen repeated a number of times in the news since then. Usually they don't have photos. In cases like that, it's not unusual for the article to say they had to cut the fence and bring them into the hospital with the fence still embedded in their body to remove it surgically. They actually usually survive.

/shudder
 
2013-03-08 02:25:20 PM
Goddamn GIS-fail... preview is my friend

Loomy:Plus, any number of condiment bottles have similar-ish profiles. They even make some that appear specifically designed for this type of task:

www.thebestjuicerreviews.com

/Tell me that's not dildoesque
 
2013-03-08 02:25:27 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-08 02:27:15 PM
I find it pretty amazing that some could put their need to attention-whore over shame. What a douche.
 
2013-03-08 02:27:20 PM

DreamSnipers: Pretty dumb of him, if he had posted it live on Fark, I bet he could have gotten a submission credit.


Not to mention 36 months' worth of TF offers and a hundred instances of BIE/WIE.
 
2013-03-08 02:27:40 PM
They make butt plugs. With stoppers on the end.

You know, so they don't go in the whole way.

/Right tool for the job, as it were.
 
2013-03-08 02:27:50 PM
Also worked in a hospital. Best one was this guy that came in with around a 3" O.D. X 3/4 I.D. about 1" thick steel ball bearing you know where. Surgeons had no idea what to do, short of amputating his dick, after lube and everything else had failed. The patient was not agreeing to have his dick cut off so.. The solution was they got our Mechanical department machinist to cut it off with abrasive discs and a die grinder.The pictures that leaked out showed his dong before the bearing was cut off and it looked like a big purple eggplant.

Vibrating dildo x rays were fairly common though.
.
 
2013-03-08 02:29:20 PM

megarian: THX 1138:

Beat me to it...ya jerk.

Don't want it? Just need it?


To feel, to breathe, to know I'm alive!
 
2013-03-08 02:29:38 PM
Maybe he just ate it and is having trouble passing it.
 
2013-03-08 02:30:26 PM

THX 1138: [www.realfunfood.com image 409x275]


came for, leaving satisfied.
 
2013-03-08 02:31:27 PM

Happy Hours: Elegy: Knew a hospital resident once that had a collection of X-rays he had stolen from the hospital. This was apparently a common-ish practice amongst the younger ER doctors at this hospital, and in fact, another doctor at the same hospital lost his license about a month later for putting x-rays up on the Internet.

Yeah, that's kind of sick.

One of my classmates in 7th or 8th grade kept a scrapbook of gory pictures he clipped from newspapers and magazines. The only one I remember specifically was a person who had jumped out of a window and got impaled on a wrought iron fence with spikes. I heard he became a preacher after graduating. Unfortunately, that's a story I've seen repeated a number of times in the news since then. Usually they don't have photos. In cases like that, it's not unusual for the article to say they had to cut the fence and bring them into the hospital with the fence still embedded in their body to remove it surgically. They actually usually survive.

/shudder



I once knew a guy who's father was a photographer for the police during the time when people were getting shot up by gansters every day.  He had boxes full of photos in his basement full of murder victims.

That was some of the most disturbing shiat I've ever seen!
 
2013-03-08 02:31:32 PM
He just posted the 1st x ray picture on his twitter feed:
 
2013-03-08 02:31:53 PM
Lucidz
MadameX:

Not as painful as the guy that came into our ER after inserting a light bulb in his butt and it BROKE.

Not calling you a liar, but that sounds like an urban legend..



Some kinds of bulb make that story waaay more likely than others
i.imgur.comi.imgur.com
 
2013-03-08 02:36:09 PM

SirEattonHogg: getting lemons...making lemonade?


Lemon Party?
 
2013-03-08 02:38:02 PM
note to self

don't gis
1 guy one jar
at work
ever
ever again
 
2013-03-08 02:38:17 PM
Remember kids, just like with boar-spears, the cross-piece on a butt plug is there for a very important reason
 
2013-03-08 02:38:44 PM
If sticking a vibrating dildo up my ass so far that I have to go to the hospital to have it removed is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
 
2013-03-08 02:40:21 PM

publikenemy: And it's NEVER a woman getting it removed


The prostate knows no limits to how it likes to be stimulated.
 
2013-03-08 02:44:24 PM

durbnpoisn: Happy Hours: Elegy: Knew a hospital resident once that had a collection of X-rays he had stolen from the hospital. This was apparently a common-ish practice amongst the younger ER doctors at this hospital, and in fact, another doctor at the same hospital lost his license about a month later for putting x-rays up on the Internet.

Yeah, that's kind of sick.

One of my classmates in 7th or 8th grade kept a scrapbook of gory pictures he clipped from newspapers and magazines. The only one I remember specifically was a person who had jumped out of a window and got impaled on a wrought iron fence with spikes. I heard he became a preacher after graduating. Unfortunately, that's a story I've seen repeated a number of times in the news since then. Usually they don't have photos. In cases like that, it's not unusual for the article to say they had to cut the fence and bring them into the hospital with the fence still embedded in their body to remove it surgically. They actually usually survive.

/shudder


I once knew a guy who's father was a photographer for the police during the time when people were getting shot up by gansters every day.  He had boxes full of photos in his basement full of murder victims.

That was some of the most disturbing shiat I've ever seen!


My dad was a sales rep for a (now-defunct) pharmaceutical company, and had acquired a number of medical books over the years.  One day in my early teens I went down to his office and absconded with a book on gynecology (as a teenager might be wont to do).  Of course, those books usually showed the abnormalities, as opposed to the normal stuff.... I don't know how I recovered, but I never "borrowed" one of my dad's books again.
 
2013-03-08 02:45:23 PM

durbnpoisn: That was some of the most disturbing shiat I've ever seen!


May I introduce you to /b/?
 
2013-03-08 02:47:32 PM
www.smashinglists.com

Chick w/ can of hairspray jammed up her butt.
 
2013-03-08 02:50:36 PM
Use the indefinite article, its "a" dildo, not "your" dildo
 
2013-03-08 02:54:39 PM

Loomy: Goddamn GIS-fail... preview is my friend

Loomy:Plus, any number of condiment bottles have similar-ish profiles. They even make some that appear specifically designed for this type of task:

[www.thebestjuicerreviews.com image 297x305]

/Tell me that's not dildoesque


That's not dildoesque, that's anal beads.
 
2013-03-08 02:55:10 PM
a.abcnews.go.comimages2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-03-08 02:56:23 PM

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: Was that Sam Rockwell movie any good?


no it was not good

/no monkey
//no chestnuts
 
2013-03-08 03:03:50 PM
Heard about a guy admitted to an ER with a dildo up his ass.
After a thorough examination, the doc leaned over and asked "Did you want it removed or shall I just change the batteries?"
 
2013-03-08 03:09:20 PM
This ladies and gentlemen is why anal toys have a flared base.  No flared base?  Keep it away from your (or your partners) poop shoot.

I'm curious for you doctor types, for a rather small cylindrical object like a dildo, why can't the person just poop it out the next time they have a movement?
 
2013-03-08 03:14:46 PM
Don't do that, but I always wonder how far were they trying to shove that thing in.
 
2013-03-08 03:17:54 PM

Fritriac: At least a guy who doesn't complain "It was an accident! I accidental sat down on a powered vibrator!"

/Still lol-ing about the dickhead


I never said it was an accident either.

I figured they had heard it all, so I might as well just dish out the truth.

/Was super entertaining. Props to UK medical center.
 
2013-03-08 03:23:20 PM
Always 'The vibrator' never 'your vibrator'
 
2013-03-08 03:26:23 PM
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

//Boobies as a TFer
 
2013-03-08 03:27:49 PM
//Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"
 
2013-03-08 03:28:41 PM

ShawnDoc: This ladies and gentlemen is why anal toys have a flared base.  No flared base?  Keep it away from your (or your partners) poop shoot.

I'm curious for you doctor types, for a rather small cylindrical object like a dildo, why can't the person just poop it out the next time they have a movement?


Reverse suction.
 
2013-03-08 03:31:40 PM

ShawnDoc: This ladies and gentlemen is why anal toys have a flared base.  No flared base?  Keep it away from your (or your partners) poop shoot.


"[W]e will just have to conclude that flared-base advice isn't given to patients by doctors-ER or otherwise-because doctors secretly enjoy digging various foreign objects out of the variable rectums of various gentlemen. "

Dan Savage, Savage Love, 12/14/12
 
2013-03-08 03:32:16 PM

MOGGEE: //Boobies was sposed to say "Boobies"


You mean your first post was supposed to say In my first post?
 
2013-03-08 03:33:10 PM

earthworm2.0: Reverse suction.


I could see that with a hollow object, but not a normal solid object.
 
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