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(ABC)   Coroner releases cause of death in lion attack. I'm not a coroner, but I'm going with lion here   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 83
    More: Followup, broken neck, Fresno County, Tulare County  
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3172 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2013 at 10:28 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-08 11:29:51 AM

k4mi: Probably Pnuemonia, could be Lupus.


It's NOT lupus!
 
2013-03-08 11:34:39 AM

Cold_Sassy: Tatterdemalian: Cold_Sassy: Obvious tag.

You would think so, but then you're probably not the sort of person who raises a child to be so convinced that she has "empathic" superpowers such that a lion she had "connected" with would never attack her.

/this is newsworthy not because the public demands answers, but rather because the public demands DIFFERENT answers
//reality be damned, we need to BELIEVE

Yes I am always amused when people fark with wild animals and then are surprised when they are injured.  The bad part about it is the captive animal is almost always killed for its "crime."


They didn't kill the lion for its crime. They killed it because they were hoping that they could still save her. Which is still a shame...
 
2013-03-08 11:34:51 AM

bungle_jr: Molavian: bungle_jr: DROxINxTHExWIND: FTFA: although it's still unclear why the lion attacked her.

Can we please stop with this man-eater nonsense? What the fark is unclear about a lion attacking a slow-moving piece of meat with small teeth and no claws to defend itself? As Chris Rock would say, that lion didn't go crazy. That lion went lion.

the lion could've used jelly or syrup
it prefers syrup

I remember that from some prison show so long ago.  Wasn't that some HBO special or something?

chris rock's "bring the pain" special, if i remember correctly. he was talking about a show he had watched about life in prison, and about the subject of "tossed salads", a term used for analingus. he said the inmate being interviewed said you can add "jelly or syrup...i prefer syrup" in order to add flavor and help take your mind off of the true nature of the task which is being performed


I think I could have gone my entire life without that explanation and mental picture...

/I know, Welcome to Fark...
 
2013-03-08 11:37:43 AM

abreucantina: bungle_jr: Molavian: bungle_jr: DROxINxTHExWIND: FTFA: although it's still unclear why the lion attacked her.

Can we please stop with this man-eater nonsense? What the fark is unclear about a lion attacking a slow-moving piece of meat with small teeth and no claws to defend itself? As Chris Rock would say, that lion didn't go crazy. That lion went lion.

the lion could've used jelly or syrup
it prefers syrup

I remember that from some prison show so long ago.  Wasn't that some HBO special or something?

chris rock's "bring the pain" special, if i remember correctly. he was talking about a show he had watched about life in prison, and about the subject of "tossed salads", a term used for analingus. he said the inmate being interviewed said you can add "jelly or syrup...i prefer syrup" in order to add flavor and help take your mind off of the true nature of the task which is being performed

I think I could have gone my entire life without that explanation and mental picture...

/I know, Welcome to Fark...


chris's description was much better/funnier
 
2013-03-08 11:38:28 AM

theorellior: DROxINxTHExWIND: What the fark is unclear about a lion attacking a slow-moving piece of meat with small teeth and no claws to defend itself?

I read somewhere that most predators don't much care for humans if other game is available. Evidently we're very bony with not a lot of meat on us. I'll have to see if I can find the article.


Don't worry. you are stating the obvious. No need for a link to the article.
 
2013-03-08 11:39:27 AM
lack of oxygen to the brain. Just like everyone else.
 
2013-03-08 11:42:12 AM
Hooray for my second green light.

Makes me sad that they kill the lion for being a lion.
 
2013-03-08 11:44:34 AM

theorellior: DROxINxTHExWIND: What the fark is unclear about a lion attacking a slow-moving piece of meat with small teeth and no claws to defend itself?

I read somewhere that most predators don't much care for humans if other game is available. Evidently we're very bony with not a lot of meat on us. I'll have to see if I can find the article.


Yeah, I know what they SAY, but I totally disagree. Lions will kill and eat a prarie dog. They'll all fight over the scraps if one of them kills a small deer. They eat baby warthogs and other small animals all of the time. I think its just conditioning. Lions and other predators have learned to be wary of humans, just like they would be for other dangerous animals. Especially game that is frequently hunted or poached. But, I think we taste just fine to them once they get past that initial fear.
 
2013-03-08 11:53:20 AM

bungle_jr: bungle_jr: Molavian: bungle_jr: DROxINxTHExWIND: FTFA: although it's still unclear why the lion attacked her.

Can we please stop with this man-eater nonsense? What the fark is unclear about a lion attacking a slow-moving piece of meat with small teeth and no claws to defend itself? As Chris Rock would say, that lion didn't go crazy. That lion went lion.

the lion could've used jelly or syrup
it prefers syrup

I remember that from some prison show so long ago.  Wasn't that some HBO special or something?

chris rock's "bring the pain" special, if i remember correctly. he was talking about a show he had watched about life in prison, and about the subject of "tossed salads", a term used for analingus. he said the inmate being interviewed said you can add "jelly or syrup...i prefer syrup" in order to add flavor and help take your mind off of the true nature of the task which is being performed

so, after i posted that, i realized you may have actually watched the special about prisons, and not the chris rock comedy special. either way, same deal.


Ah, ok.  I don't know if I ever saw the Chris Rock special, I'll have to do that.
 
2013-03-08 11:58:39 AM

Cold_Sassy: Tatterdemalian: Cold_Sassy: Obvious tag.

You would think so, but then you're probably not the sort of person who raises a child to be so convinced that she has "empathic" superpowers such that a lion she had "connected" with would never attack her.

/this is newsworthy not because the public demands answers, but rather because the public demands DIFFERENT answers
//reality be damned, we need to BELIEVE

Yes I am always amused when people fark with wild animals and then are surprised when they are injured.  The bad part about it is the captive animal is almost always killed for its "crime."


This captured animal was killed because it was necessary to get the girl medical attention before she died. The fact that she was already dead doesn't make killing the lion a less necessary course of action, unless you (like the majority of Americans) assume police and emergency responders are supposed to have psychic and/or precognitive superpowers.

/the belief that reality is supposed to be prescripted is the most dangerous ideology affecting western civilization today
//especially since it's so lucrative to con artists, while simultaneously suppressing all true scientific inquiry by masqueading as a more "authoritative" version of it
 
2013-03-08 12:00:19 PM
+1 subby.
that was funny
 
2013-03-08 12:07:43 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: theorellior: DROxINxTHExWIND: What the fark is unclear about a lion attacking a slow-moving piece of meat with small teeth and no claws to defend itself?

I read somewhere that most predators don't much care for humans if other game is available. Evidently we're very bony with not a lot of meat on us. I'll have to see if I can find the article.

Yeah, I know what they SAY, but I totally disagree. Lions will kill and eat a prarie dog. They'll all fight over the scraps if one of them kills a small deer. They eat baby warthogs and other small animals all of the time. I think its just conditioning. Lions and other predators have learned to be wary of humans, just like they would be for other dangerous animals. Especially game that is frequently hunted or poached. But, I think we taste just fine to them once they get past that initial fear.


My evil Republican paleoconservative redneck game-hunting inlaws say, "You're welcome."

/when these people are prevented from hunting, or worse, driven out from proper animal-loving communities, the brutal, bloody slaughter of the youthful and meek, which is the normal state of nature, reasserts itself
//this is known as "bad vibes"
 
2013-03-08 12:16:20 PM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

Maybe lions are like bears and this was the lion's way of showing her that he accepted her as one of his own.
 
2013-03-08 12:21:43 PM
I smell a frame up perpetrated by the hyenas.
 
2013-03-08 12:25:12 PM
FTFA:  "although it's still unclear why the lion attacked her"


/
I think I might know
 
2013-03-08 12:33:23 PM

Mini Ditka: FTFA:  "although it's still unclear why the lion attacked her"


/ I think I might know


Cuz.....he was a lion?  Yeah, I'll go with "cuz he's a lion"...that's my final answer (fingers crossed)
 
2013-03-08 12:44:00 PM

BowtoMogul: /Threadjack
But I have a question: Is getting sponsored for TotalFark like having a sponsor in AA or in a fraternity?
Are you attached to them for the rest of your totalfark days or can it just be anonymous?


onwardstate.com

There is a small ceremony that goes with it.  Nothing to worry about.  Just assume the position of obedience.
 
2013-03-08 01:18:28 PM
If you notice, it's always white people who are getting eaten by lions and such.

White people need to learn, lions are not friendly. They will eat you.

Black people learned this lesson for hundreds of thousands of years, so you don't see dumb little teenage black girls going into lion enclosures.
 
2013-03-08 01:25:36 PM

LarryDan43: Stupidity?


You are the winner!

The dumb c*nt was talking on her cell phone in a lion enclosure.  Lets completely ignore the furry feral killing machine because I really need to talk to Janet right now.
 
2013-03-08 01:25:57 PM

FarewelltoArms: you don't see dumb little teenage black girls going into lion enclosures.


I think maybe you missed a thread from the other day.
 
2013-03-08 01:26:54 PM

FarewelltoArms: If you notice, it's always white people who are getting eaten by lions and such.

White people need to learn, lions are not friendly. They will eat you.

Black people learned this lesson for hundreds of thousands of years, so you don't see dumb little teenage black girls going into lion enclosures.


No, it's only news if a white woman gets eaten. It's very similiar to the "missing white woman" category of news
 
2013-03-08 01:29:25 PM
medius:

I think maybe you missed a thread from the other day.

Nah, I saw that thread, but that was different. That woman was hunted by the lion outside; she wasn't at some zoo playing with the lion.
 
2013-03-08 01:43:49 PM

FarewelltoArms: If you notice, it's always white people who are getting eaten by lions and such.

White people need to learn, lions are not friendly. They will eat you.

Black people learned this lesson for hundreds of thousands of years, so you don't see dumb little teenage black girls going into lion enclosures.


[...trying really hard to make a racebaiting joke work here...]
 
2013-03-08 01:48:52 PM
Boeing's having trouble with the Lions too.  Maybe the zoo should switch to NiCads.
 
2013-03-08 02:03:48 PM

FarewelltoArms: medius:

I think maybe you missed a thread from the other day.

Nah, I saw that thread, but that was different. That woman was hunted by the lion outside; she wasn't at some zoo playing with the lion.


no, she was in the bush playing with some cock
 
2013-03-08 03:53:36 PM
You know how I know almost no one read the article?  All of you seemed to miss this chestnut...

"The cat had just been fed and there was food in the bowl and the cat had ignored the food in order to have access to this young lady," Hadden said Thursday night.

/hawt
 
2013-03-08 04:10:29 PM
There are a lot of mystery novels in which the murderer uses a wild animal "attack" to cover up the murder. For example, Track of the Cat by Nevada Barr.  It almost certainly is something that happens more in fiction than in real life, because in real life most murderers do not think out their plans that well.

The autopsy might also reveal minor factors that might have contributed to the attack.  Drugs, side effects to medication, brain blood clots, etc, might have impaired the victim's judgment.
 
2013-03-08 06:04:53 PM

arghyematey: Cold_Sassy: Tatterdemalian: Cold_Sassy: Obvious tag.

You would think so, but then you're probably not the sort of person who raises a child to be so convinced that she has "empathic" superpowers such that a lion she had "connected" with would never attack her.

/this is newsworthy not because the public demands answers, but rather because the public demands DIFFERENT answers
//reality be damned, we need to BELIEVE

Yes I am always amused when people fark with wild animals and then are surprised when they are injured.  The bad part about it is the captive animal is almost always killed for its "crime."

They didn't kill the lion for its crime. They killed it because they were hoping that they could still save her. Which is still a shame...


I believe they also have to put the animal down because it has now tasted human blood. I know that is why they put down the animals in wild animal attacks so I imagine the premise is much the same. The lion would now see his handlers as food.
 
2013-03-08 06:35:50 PM

rhondajeremy: arghyematey: Cold_Sassy: Tatterdemalian: Cold_Sassy: Obvious tag.

You would think so, but then you're probably not the sort of person who raises a child to be so convinced that she has "empathic" superpowers such that a lion she had "connected" with would never attack her.

/this is newsworthy not because the public demands answers, but rather because the public demands DIFFERENT answers
//reality be damned, we need to BELIEVE

Yes I am always amused when people fark with wild animals and then are surprised when they are injured.  The bad part about it is the captive animal is almost always killed for its "crime."

They didn't kill the lion for its crime. They killed it because they were hoping that they could still save her. Which is still a shame...

I believe they also have to put the animal down because it has now tasted human blood. I know that is why they put down the animals in wild animal attacks so I imagine the premise is much the same. The lion would now see his handlers as food.


These aren't "trained" cats....though raised in captivity, they were not supposed to be in close proximity to humans at all...the lion ALREADY saw her as food and acted on it..
 
2013-03-08 07:43:01 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: theorellior: DROxINxTHExWIND: What the fark is unclear about a lion attacking a slow-moving piece of meat with small teeth and no claws to defend itself?

I read somewhere that most predators don't much care for humans if other game is available. Evidently we're very bony with not a lot of meat on us. I'll have to see if I can find the article.

Yeah, I know what they SAY, but I totally disagree. Lions will kill and eat a prarie dog. They'll all fight over the scraps if one of them kills a small deer. They eat baby warthogs and other small animals all of the time. I think its just conditioning. Lions and other predators have learned to be wary of humans, just like they would be for other dangerous animals. Especially game that is frequently hunted or poached. But, I think we taste just fine to them once they get past that initial fear.


Well if the domestic cat is anything to go by, cats will just kill things because they can. They don't always eat what they kill, and they aren't even necessarily hungry when they kill something. I suspect something only needs to be killable in order to trigger the instinct in a cat, large or small, to kill it.
 
2013-03-08 08:22:56 PM

natas6.0: I still raise a glass to Tatiana from the san francisco zoo.
Now I'll raise two glasses


Amritpal (Paul) Dhaliwal, 19, would later admit to the deceased victim's father that the three had yelled and waved at the tiger.

Stupid is as stupid does.  If you provoke a tiger thinking its funny cuz you're on the other side, you deserve to die.
 
2013-03-09 06:57:10 PM

haemaker: You know how I know almost no one read the article?  All of you seemed to miss this chestnut...

"The cat had just been fed and there was food in the bowl and the cat had ignored the food in order to have access to this young lady," Hadden said Thursday night.

/hawt


More like we're all either smart enough to realize being full as a tick doesn't stop predators from killing new prey at every opportunitt, or so brainwashed as to be unable to even see words that suggest that any animal except humans will kill when not hungry.
 
2013-03-11 02:48:39 PM

rhondajeremy: arghyematey: Cold_Sassy: Tatterdemalian: Cold_Sassy: Obvious tag.

You would think so, but then you're probably not the sort of person who raises a child to be so convinced that she has "empathic" superpowers such that a lion she had "connected" with would never attack her.

/this is newsworthy not because the public demands answers, but rather because the public demands DIFFERENT answers
//reality be damned, we need to BELIEVE

Yes I am always amused when people fark with wild animals and then are surprised when they are injured.  The bad part about it is the captive animal is almost always killed for its "crime."

They didn't kill the lion for its crime. They killed it because they were hoping that they could still save her. Which is still a shame...

I believe they also have to put the animal down because it has now tasted human blood. I know that is why they put down the animals in wild animal attacks so I imagine the premise is much the same. The lion would now see his handlers as food.


No, in America that mentality is pretty passe as far as captive animals go. Think of Tilikum the whale- they didn't (and never will) put him down for killing, and he has been connected with three human deaths. And here http://www.nytimes.com/2002/05/14/us/lion-at-busch-gardens-severs-kee p er-s-arm-after-a-feeding.html  is another case of a woman who was attacked by a lion through the cage. She lost her arm, it "tasted blood", and they did not put it down.
 
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