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(ABC)   Coroner releases cause of death in lion attack. I'm not a coroner, but I'm going with lion here   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 83
    More: Followup, broken neck, Fresno County, Tulare County  
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3176 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2013 at 10:28 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-08 10:26:19 AM  
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh.....
 
2013-03-08 10:29:52 AM  
Obvious tag.
 
2013-03-08 10:30:14 AM  

UberDave: A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh.....


A Weeeeee-ooo, wee-oo, wee-oo, wum-ma-way....
 
2013-03-08 10:30:27 AM  
Probably Pnuemonia, could be Lupus.
 
2013-03-08 10:30:38 AM  
That's some fine Coroner work, lou
 
2013-03-08 10:30:49 AM  

Cold_Sassy: Obvious tag.


Caturday was taken
 
2013-03-08 10:32:04 AM  
Natural causes. Mauled by lion, naturally he died.

If he's dying', I'm lion.
 
2013-03-08 10:32:37 AM  
Maybe cancer saw that the lion was about to get a domination victory, so it ganked her right before the lion finisher her off.
 
2013-03-08 10:32:54 AM  
Stupidity?
 
2013-03-08 10:33:01 AM  

k4mi: Lupus


thumbs.dreamstime.com

no.
 
2013-03-08 10:33:02 AM  
Occupational hazards are hazardous to your health...


/duh?
 
2013-03-08 10:33:22 AM  
Classic
 
2013-03-08 10:33:32 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: UberDave: A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh.....

A Weeeeee-ooo, wee-oo, wee-oo, wum-ma-way....


*wavion nods along*
 
2013-03-08 10:33:53 AM  
Nobody puts baby in a coroner.
 
2013-03-08 10:34:39 AM  
i'm at work, so i can't post images. anyone care to post a still from "family guy" with peter and the lion...from the apocalypse episode?

i can't help it, everytime i see that episode..."does it bite?" "of course it bites, it's a lion" just gets me lol'ing
 
2013-03-08 10:34:53 AM  
FTFA: although it's still unclear why the lion attacked her.

Can we please stop with this man-eater nonsense? What the fark is unclear about a lion attacking a slow-moving piece of meat with small teeth and no claws to defend itself? As Chris Rock would say, that lion didn't go crazy. That lion went lion.
 
2013-03-08 10:35:31 AM  
I'm going with 'extensive tooth marks'
 
2013-03-08 10:35:46 AM  

k4mi: Probably Pnuemonia, could be Lupus.


www.kruufm.com
 
2013-03-08 10:35:59 AM  
I'm going with "large chunks of flesh and internal organs--along with vast amounts of blood--being torn quickly from victim".
 
2013-03-08 10:36:06 AM  

bungle_jr: i'm at work, so i can't post images. anyone care to post a still from "family guy" with peter and the lion...from the apocalypse episode?

i can't help it, everytime i see that episode..."does it bite?" "of course it bites, it's a lion" just gets me lol'ing


The lion's name was Monticor. Lls.
 
2013-03-08 10:36:32 AM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: FTFA: although it's still unclear why the lion attacked her.

Can we please stop with this man-eater nonsense? What the fark is unclear about a lion attacking a slow-moving piece of meat with small teeth and no claws to defend itself? As Chris Rock would say, that lion didn't go crazy. That lion went lion.


the lion could've used jelly or syrup
it prefers syrup
 
2013-03-08 10:37:48 AM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: bungle_jr: i'm at work, so i can't post images. anyone care to post a still from "family guy" with peter and the lion...from the apocalypse episode?

i can't help it, everytime i see that episode..."does it bite?" "of course it bites, it's a lion" just gets me lol'ing

The lion's name was Monticor. Lls.


peter's dry delivery of all those lines about the lion was what really gets me laughing. "of course it bites..." as in no f'ing shiat
 
2013-03-08 10:37:48 AM  
At least it wasn't the "crappy purple Scion"
 
2013-03-08 10:38:24 AM  
"Dianna Hanson was reportedly talking on her cellphone with a co-worker at the time of the incident "

/solved.
 
2013-03-08 10:41:00 AM  

Cold_Sassy: Obvious tag.


You would think so, but then you're probably not the sort of person who raises a child to be so convinced that she has "empathic" superpowers such that a lion she had "connected" with would never attack her.

/this is newsworthy not because the public demands answers, but rather because the public demands DIFFERENT answers
//reality be damned, we need to BELIEVE
 
2013-03-08 10:42:09 AM  

LoneDoggie: cell


This, certainly!
 
2013-03-08 10:42:34 AM  

bungle_jr: DROxINxTHExWIND: bungle_jr: i'm at work, so i can't post images. anyone care to post a still from "family guy" with peter and the lion...from the apocalypse episode?

i can't help it, everytime i see that episode..."does it bite?" "of course it bites, it's a lion" just gets me lol'ing

The lion's name was Monticor. Lls.

peter's dry delivery of all those lines about the lion was what really gets me laughing. "of course it bites..." as in no f'ing shiat


I think that's what did it for me too. He's looking majestically towards the ceiling when he tells them the lion's name. Now I have to look at it.

/Off to the Google to see it, again.
 
2013-03-08 10:43:11 AM  
Wish I could find the Onion link to the story "Man dies after long battle with cancer, and much much shorter battle with mountain lion."
 
2013-03-08 10:44:00 AM  
Not entirely a waste; the rest of the staff learned a valuable lesson in "natural selection".
 
2013-03-08 10:44:16 AM  
Hey, not sure what I did to deserve it, but thanks, Life of Brian! for the TotalFark. I promise, I'll try to use it this time.
 
2013-03-08 10:45:21 AM  
L L L L LION!!!
ethicsalarms.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-08 10:45:24 AM  
I didn't realize until now that they killed the lion.  It was probably necessary given the situation, but goddamit.  The lion was just, you know, being a lion.  And it kinda sounds like the victim was too busy talking on her cell phone to pay attention to what she was doing - perhaps forgetting to lock the gate.
 
2013-03-08 10:54:31 AM  
I think he's lion.
 
2013-03-08 10:55:42 AM  
Theoretically, its certainly possible that the boyfriend murdered her and tossed her body in the lion cage to be mauled.
 
2013-03-08 10:55:47 AM  
I still raise a glass to Tatiana from the san francisco zoo.
Now I'll raise two glasses
 
2013-03-08 10:56:53 AM  
The lion is at the golf course looking for the real killer.
 
2013-03-08 10:58:03 AM  
better article I like the quote in there from her father:
Hanson knew that she was not supposed to be in the same area with the lion (and if the coroner is correct, she apparently she wasn't). However, her father told The Associated Press that Hanson is frustrated that she was not allowed to have contact with the large cats.

People should be careful what they wish for!
 
2013-03-08 10:59:33 AM  
Hakuna Matata
 
2013-03-08 11:00:35 AM  
He did leave the option open for other forms of death
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSBFehvLJDc
 
2013-03-08 11:02:25 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

We must first bury the body, then exhume the grave before we can do an accurate examination to determine cause of death.
 
2013-03-08 11:02:57 AM  
As Coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined her.
And she's not only merely dead, she's really most sincerely dead
 
2013-03-08 11:04:14 AM  
Mr. Lion, in the Haven, with the Paw.

Animal Clue is the most boring game ever.
 
2013-03-08 11:11:11 AM  

bungle_jr: DROxINxTHExWIND: FTFA: although it's still unclear why the lion attacked her.

Can we please stop with this man-eater nonsense? What the fark is unclear about a lion attacking a slow-moving piece of meat with small teeth and no claws to defend itself? As Chris Rock would say, that lion didn't go crazy. That lion went lion.

the lion could've used jelly or syrup
it prefers syrup


I remember that from some prison show so long ago.  Wasn't that some HBO special or something?
 
2013-03-08 11:14:56 AM  
t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-03-08 11:16:09 AM  

Molavian: bungle_jr: DROxINxTHExWIND: FTFA: although it's still unclear why the lion attacked her.

Can we please stop with this man-eater nonsense? What the fark is unclear about a lion attacking a slow-moving piece of meat with small teeth and no claws to defend itself? As Chris Rock would say, that lion didn't go crazy. That lion went lion.

the lion could've used jelly or syrup
it prefers syrup

I remember that from some prison show so long ago.  Wasn't that some HBO special or something?


chris rock's "bring the pain" special, if i remember correctly. he was talking about a show he had watched about life in prison, and about the subject of "tossed salads", a term used for analingus. he said the inmate being interviewed said you can add "jelly or syrup...i prefer syrup" in order to add flavor and help take your mind off of the true nature of the task which is being performed
 
2013-03-08 11:17:22 AM  

bungle_jr: Molavian: bungle_jr: DROxINxTHExWIND: FTFA: although it's still unclear why the lion attacked her.

Can we please stop with this man-eater nonsense? What the fark is unclear about a lion attacking a slow-moving piece of meat with small teeth and no claws to defend itself? As Chris Rock would say, that lion didn't go crazy. That lion went lion.

the lion could've used jelly or syrup
it prefers syrup

I remember that from some prison show so long ago.  Wasn't that some HBO special or something?

chris rock's "bring the pain" special, if i remember correctly. he was talking about a show he had watched about life in prison, and about the subject of "tossed salads", a term used for analingus. he said the inmate being interviewed said you can add "jelly or syrup...i prefer syrup" in order to add flavor and help take your mind off of the true nature of the task which is being performed


so, after i posted that, i realized you may have actually watched the special about prisons, and not the chris rock comedy special. either way, same deal.
 
2013-03-08 11:17:52 AM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: What the fark is unclear about a lion attacking a slow-moving piece of meat with small teeth and no claws to defend itself?


I read somewhere that most predators don't much care for humans if other game is available. Evidently we're very bony with not a lot of meat on us. I'll have to see if I can find the article.
 
2013-03-08 11:24:10 AM  
She had a tender heart according to friends, family, lion......

/recycling an oldie but a goodie
 
2013-03-08 11:27:28 AM  

Tatterdemalian: Cold_Sassy: Obvious tag.

You would think so, but then you're probably not the sort of person who raises a child to be so convinced that she has "empathic" superpowers such that a lion she had "connected" with would never attack her.

/this is newsworthy not because the public demands answers, but rather because the public demands DIFFERENT answers
//reality be damned, we need to BELIEVE


Yes I am always amused when people fark with wild animals and then are surprised when they are injured.  The bad part about it is the captive animal is almost always killed for its "crime."
 
2013-03-08 11:29:22 AM  
/Threadjack
But I have a question: Is getting sponsored for TotalFark like having a sponsor in AA or in a fraternity?
Are you attached to them for the rest of your totalfark days or can it just be anonymous?
 
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