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(New York Daily News)   Rule No.1524314 for disciplining your son: Don't use a stun gun   (nydailynews.com) divider line 47
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2702 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2013 at 10:49 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-08 10:31:17 AM  
was she an authoritarian pro-life Republican?  'cause I could totally see them doing that to a kid.
 
2013-03-08 10:49:44 AM  
"Mom punished me. I was stunned!"
"What did she do?"
"Weren't you listening? I was stunned!"
 
2013-03-08 10:51:51 AM  
To be fair, there is no parent who hasn't looked at their kid and not at least contemplated this
 
2013-03-08 10:52:45 AM  
"don't tase me bro!"

"mother, not brother! What are they teaching you in school"
 
2013-03-08 10:53:22 AM  
Oh. That is an option?

I'm off to the store then...
 
2013-03-08 10:56:24 AM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: To be fair, there is no parent who hasn't looked at their kid and not at least contemplated this


This. We got a shock collar for a particularly stubborn dog (who also happens to be a big baby...he's never gotten voltage, the vibration mode is enough to get him to stop misbehaving) and after seeing the change in the dog, I'll admit I briefly wondered if it would keep the kids in line too.

/Wouldn't actually do it
 
2013-03-08 10:56:45 AM  
That's not a stun gun.

It's a parenting pistol.
 
2013-03-08 10:57:10 AM  
Why not, subby? Seems effective
 
2013-03-08 10:57:23 AM  
Toddler shock belts.  Their time has arrived.
 
2013-03-08 10:58:26 AM  
I think that rule should be in the top 5, Subby.
 
2013-03-08 10:58:38 AM  
How about cattle prod?
 
2013-03-08 10:58:40 AM  
The kid was 14, probably totally deserved it.
 
2013-03-08 10:58:49 AM  
I'm fortunate that I was born way prior to the invention of this device, for I am sure that I would have deserved a tasering or two, as does every child that has ever crawled forth on this rock after being expelled from their mother's womb.
 
2013-03-08 10:59:18 AM  
www.maniacworld.com

Still okay, though.. right?
 
2013-03-08 11:03:26 AM  
A mother should never use a stun gun. She should only use guilt, sarcasm and misplaced concern to turn the kid into a bundle of neuroses, substance abuse, and unfulfilling relationships instead. Worked for my mom.


/I showed her though, I'm 7 years sober and five years married, with a kid on the way
 
2013-03-08 11:04:31 AM  
I love the responses to the thread so far, to quote a funny comic

"What did that shiatty shiatty kid do to that poor woman"
 
2013-03-08 11:04:51 AM  

Brainsick: A mother should never use a stun gun. She should only use guilt, sarcasm and misplaced concern to turn the kid into a bundle of neuroses, substance abuse, and unfulfilling relationships instead. Worked for my mom.


/I showed her though, I'm 7 years sober and five years married, with a kid on the way



Hope you find peace. Godspeed.
 
2013-03-08 11:08:26 AM  

maggoo: That's not a stun gun.

It's a parenting pistol.


*snerk*
 
2013-03-08 11:08:34 AM  
Expected & funny, 'cause it's Tex-Ass
 
2013-03-08 11:08:57 AM  
She should have tried grounding him first.
 
2013-03-08 11:09:27 AM  

Weaver95: was she an authoritarian pro-life Republican?  'cause I could totally see them doing that to a kid.


Yep........you're a farking genius.
assets.nydailynews.com
 
2013-03-08 11:12:12 AM  

Red Shirt Blues: Weaver95: was she an authoritarian pro-life Republican?  'cause I could totally see them doing that to a kid.

Yep........you're a farking genius.
[assets.nydailynews.com image 635x683]


So just because she dyes her hair, she can't be a Republican?
 
2013-03-08 11:12:36 AM  
The old wooden spoon was enough to keep me in line.
 
2013-03-08 11:13:09 AM  

Red Shirt Blues: Weaver95: was she an authoritarian pro-life Republican?  'cause I could totally see them doing that to a kid.

Yep........you're a farking genius.
[assets.nydailynews.com image 635x683]


Those are Republican eyes right there.
 
2013-03-08 11:16:22 AM  

Brainsick: A mother should never use a stun gun. She should only use guilt  to turn the kid into a bundle of neuroses instead. Worked for my mom.



FTFY
 
2013-03-08 11:18:01 AM  
stupid conservatives and their...their..
their stupid!
 
2013-03-08 11:23:49 AM  

Weaver95: was she an authoritarian pro-life Republican?  'cause I could totally see them doing that to a kid.


wow, BOOM, you don't even wait for the gates to open and give the dogs a chance to race. Just BOOM, dead!! Shot right to the head.
 
2013-03-08 11:25:26 AM  
So... is there a committee i can write to to have this rule bumped up to say... oh i dunno... rule #2? I'd be happy if it were in the top 10...
 
2013-03-08 11:25:33 AM  

maggoo: Brainsick: A mother should never use a stun gun. She should only use guilt, sarcasm and misplaced concern to turn the kid into a bundle of neuroses, substance abuse, and unfulfilling relationships instead. Worked for my mom.


/I showed her though, I'm 7 years sober and five years married, with a kid on the way


Hope you find peace. Godspeed.


Did you  not read past the word "sober?"
 
2013-03-08 11:26:17 AM  

Red Shirt Blues: Weaver95: was she an authoritarian pro-life Republican?  'cause I could totally see them doing that to a kid.

Yep........you're a farking genius.
[assets.nydailynews.com image 635x683]


So, are you going with a person with dyed hair can't be republican, a woman can't be republican, a black person can't be republican, or some idiotic combination of those?

One of those makes you just look like an idiot, the others make you look like a racist/sexist idiot.
 
2013-03-08 11:26:56 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: Did you not read past the word "sober?"


You're married though, gotta spread the bets across the table.
 
2013-03-08 11:36:03 AM  
I'm shocked.

Wait ...
 
2013-03-08 11:37:27 AM  
Comedy tip:

Whenever making a joke that includes "Rule number ###..." or "Reason number ###...", you only need 2 or 3 digits. Using any more than that ruins the pacing of the joke.
 
2013-03-08 11:38:30 AM  

TheOtherMisterP: Comedy tip:

Whenever making a joke that includes "Rule number ###..." or "Reason number ###...", you only need 2 or 3 digits. Using any more than that ruins the pacing of the joke.


That's comedy tip #41357. Everyone knows that.
 
2013-03-08 11:40:30 AM  

Brainsick: A mother should never use a stun gun. She should only use guilt, sarcasm and misplaced concern to turn the kid into a bundle of neuroses, substance abuse, and unfulfilling relationships instead. Worked for my mom.


/I showed her though, I'm 7 years sober and five years married, with a kid on the way


if there was no slashies comment i would swear you were one of my siblings. mentally ill mother & alcoholic abusive father in a dsyfunctional marriage / family is why i advocate eugenics so often. my best to you & yours.
 
2013-03-08 12:00:19 PM  
Stun gun: for when duct tape just isn't good enough.
 
2013-03-08 12:01:44 PM  

TheOtherMisterP: Comedy tip:

Whenever making a joke that includes "Rule number ###..." or "Reason number ###...", you only need 2 or 3 digits. Using any more than that ruins the pacing of the joke.


duly noted

/will never be good at comedy:(
 
2013-03-08 12:05:03 PM  
www.askdro.com
 
2013-03-08 12:15:51 PM  
FTA:   "I don't even know where my child is half the time."


I think we found our problem right here....
 
2013-03-08 12:22:12 PM  
Sometimes its hard to get their attention. A few tens of thousands of volts does wonders for their powers of concentration.
 
2013-03-08 12:24:27 PM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: BarkingUnicorn: Did you not read past the word "sober?"

You're married though, gotta spread the bets across the table.


Thanks for the good will Farkers. BTW my marriage is one of the good ones :)

/
 
2013-03-08 12:31:42 PM  
Her brother was allegedly punished after he went to play basketball without permission.

That little ASSHOLE!
 
2013-03-08 12:37:09 PM  

give me doughnuts: Sometimes its hard to get their attention. A few tens of thousands of volts does wonders for their powers of concentration.


EST. Not just a fun party trick. Also get any Kimbra song to stop looping in your head. Trust me. It works. works. werkzzzzzz.
Totally worth it.
 
2013-03-08 01:10:14 PM  
Silly wabbit tasers are for cops.... to use when people aren't complying.
 
2013-03-08 01:20:04 PM  

Brainsick: A mother should never use a stun gun. She should only use guilt, sarcasm and misplaced concern to turn the kid into a bundle of neuroses, substance abuse, and unfulfilling relationships instead. Worked for my mom.

/I showed her though, I'm 7 years sober and five years married, with a kid on the way



Might be time to consider working through those resentments next. The only common thread in all of your failed relationships is you.
 
2013-03-08 07:20:01 PM  

Headso: The kid was 14, probably totally deserved it.


True, which is really why you need to start using the stun gun on them at a much younger age.
 
2013-03-08 11:58:45 PM  

Pangea: Brainsick: A mother should never use a stun gun. She should only use guilt, sarcasm and misplaced concern to turn the kid into a bundle of neuroses, substance abuse, and unfulfilling relationships instead. Worked for my mom.

/I showed her though, I'm 7 years sober and five years married, with a kid on the way


Might be time to consider working through those resentments next. The only common thread in all of your failed relationships is you.


No, working through resentments was a different step

/I've said too much...
 
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