If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   Twitter wants to be the new CNN, Facebook wants to be the morning paper, and Drew wants someone to invent a cure for the hangover. Sadly, we all want what we can't have   (slate.com) divider line 29
    More: Unlikely, CNN  
•       •       •

1087 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2013 at 10:48 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-03-08 10:48:54 AM  
A little hair of the dog will cure that.
 
2013-03-08 10:50:15 AM  
A new job.
 
2013-03-08 10:50:47 AM  
already thought twitter was cnn #bieber4ever
 
2013-03-08 10:51:18 AM  
Maybe I'm old fashioned, but wouldn't there have to be actual news coming from Twitter or Facebook to allow them to be, um, news sources?
 
2013-03-08 10:55:33 AM  
Twitter wants to be the next CNN. Oh, for FARKS sake, can you Twitter hacks get the fark over yourselves?

"Twitter had the news first!" - some douchebag who tweets "Wow, just saw a plane go down!!" IS NOT FARKING NEWS!
 
2013-03-08 10:56:29 AM  
I was going to make a comment about how relying on your friends for news might have catastrophic consequences, but then I thought it couldn't possibly be any worse than Fox News.
 
2013-03-08 10:58:23 AM  

Arkanaut: A little hair of the dog will cure that.


This. I thought he invented it?
 
2013-03-08 11:00:00 AM  

Arkanaut: A little hair of the dog will cure that.


Good point. I'd have to be pretty drunk to consider Twitter a news source.
 
2013-03-08 11:02:25 AM  
World peace and a bottle of Blanton's.

/settling for Blanton's, my BD self-indulgence
 
2013-03-08 11:02:45 AM  
Cure for hangover? It's called N-acytel L-Cystine. Works great.
 
2013-03-08 11:03:15 AM  
Cure for hangover... get a bottle of pure oxygen (no smoking while youre doing this) and, with a hose, blow oxygen all over your tongue, gums, teeth etc.

The oxygen gets right into your bloodstream right where it needs to be, in your throbbing head.

This completely cures a hangover in about 15 seconds.

Just dont let the airport safety officer catch you.
 
2013-03-08 11:04:15 AM  
So Facebook's new newsfeed is going to look almost exactly like Google+?
 
2013-03-08 11:17:49 AM  

chewd: Cure for hangover... get a bottle of pure oxygen (no smoking while youre doing this) and, with a hose, blow oxygen all over your tongue, gums, teeth etc.


I used to know a gal who would have her roommate (a nurse) hook her up to an IV drip with some vitamin C thrown in after a night of partying. The hydration fixed her right up.
 
2013-03-08 11:18:31 AM  
I want a Maserati.
 
2013-03-08 11:19:22 AM  
Figures - the last time I watched CNN, it wanted to be Twitter.
It was like 10% news, 25% advertising, 25% self-advertising and 40% reading stuff people posted on Twitter:.

"Apparently terrorists are storming the CNN Center in Atlanta. At the moment we have no way to confirm the veracity of this information. Bob, what are people on Twitter saying about this, can they provide some details on this developing situation for us?"

"Thank you, Mary! The situation is still developing and we can't confirm those claims yet, but user @somePimpledDipshiat tweeted right now:
'My BFF's cousin knows a guy who is going with the sister of a friend of some chick whose brother is working five blocks down the road from there and who posted on..'
and then
'.. his Facebook that a customer told him he heard something that might have been a shot',
which made Twitter user @My*BLEEP*isLongerThanYours respond:
'I guess this means it's serious'.
Oh, look Mary! What a cute kitten picture that other user he's following has just posted! After the break we'll be back and investigate whether the posted link really leads to a video of this kitten on video website Youtube."
 
2013-03-08 11:26:30 AM  
Twitter is about as useful as a news source as CNN.
 
2013-03-08 11:29:20 AM  
Best cure for hang over?

A banana bag. As soon as you hook it up, its almost instant relief.

/party with med students, they know how to rock the casba
 
2013-03-08 11:29:58 AM  
"I want a rich young dumb nymphomaniac to drive me around in her Cadillac, if she's not down on her knees she'll be flat on her back, I want a rich young dumb nymphomaniac. We'll give her great big t*ts and a little bitty a*s, a f*ckin machine that never runs out of gas".....yeah....listen to the song and dream....
 
2013-03-08 11:36:29 AM  

The Voice of Doom: Figures - the last time I watched CNN, it wanted to be Twitter.
It was like 10% news, 25% advertising, 25% self-advertising and 40% reading stuff people posted on Twitter:.

"Apparently terrorists are storming the CNN Center in Atlanta. At the moment we have no way to confirm the veracity of this information. Bob, what are people on Twitter saying about this, can they provide some details on this developing situation for us?"

"Thank you, Mary! The situation is still developing and we can't confirm those claims yet, but user @somePimpledDipshiat tweeted right now:
'My BFF's cousin knows a guy who is going with the sister of a friend of some chick whose brother is working five blocks down the road from there and who posted on..'
and then
'.. his Facebook that a customer told him he heard something that might have been a shot',
which made Twitter user @My*BLEEP*isLongerThanYours respond:
'I guess this means it's serious'.
Oh, look Mary! What a cute kitten picture that other user he's following has just posted! After the break we'll be back and investigate whether the posted link really leads to a video of this kitten on video website Youtube."


This is SOOOOOOO on the mark.
It's why NPR is about the only news source I pay any attention to.
Last time I watched the local news, more time was spent on kitten videos than actual local news. (It's why it was the *last* time I watched the news)
 
2013-03-08 11:37:17 AM  

Langdon Alger: "I want a rich young dumb nymphomaniac to drive me around in her Cadillac, if she's not down on her knees she'll be flat on her back, I want a rich young dumb nymphomaniac. We'll give her great big t*ts and a little bitty a*s, a f*ckin machine that never runs out of gas".....yeah....listen to the song and dream....


if you asked the devil for that wish he would give it to you but she would be fat too.
 
2013-03-08 11:40:26 AM  
Yugoboy:It's why NPR is about the only news source I pay any attention to.
Last time I watched the local news, more time was spent on kitten videos than actual local news. (It's why it was the *last* time I watched the news)


I can almost feel your superiority. Oh by the way, they're tearing your house down to make room for a new freeway. I have no idea why NPR didn't have something on that.
 
2013-03-08 11:56:10 AM  
But, it we try, we'll find we get what we need.
 
2013-03-08 12:02:52 PM  
See, the media keeps teasing us with the promise of something that will eliminate half or more of the human race. But disappointingly, it has yet to happen.

And then of course, there's the reality that even if something like that did come along, it wouldn't eliminate all the assholes and idiots. It would be mostly random in its devastation, so there'd be a healthy amount of idiots and assholes in the survivor population, and those people would eventually reproduce and we'd end up with the same proportion of them in the "new" blob of humanity.

There's no eliminating the stupid gene and the asshole gene. They must be right next to the ones that code for eyeballs and opposable thumbs.
 
2013-03-08 12:04:29 PM  
Subby is right. Curly hair wants straight, short wants to be tall, white wants to dance well. The sooner you can accept what is, is and learn to be happy in your own skin the sooner you may find your own little nirvana, personal jesus or private idaho. The nice part of getting old is when you realize how few things really matter and you no longer give a damn.
 
2013-03-08 12:04:38 PM  

Yugoboy: Last time I watched the local news, more time was spent on kitten videos than actual local news. (It's why it was the *last* time I watched the news)


Be thankful you don't live in greater Los Angeles.

The local news in LA, especially the 11 PM variety (which is only 35 minutes long, as opposed to a full hour, like the versions that air earlier in the evening), is what I call "The Who Got Shot Today Report".  About 18 million people live in greater Los Angeles.  At least one of those people got shot today.  Usually more than one.  And, unless I personally know the shooter or the victim, I don't really care.  I don't need to see an interview with the widow of the victim or the police detective in charge.  I don't need to see some random reporter standing in the middle of the street, in the dark, with the only thing visibile in the background being some yellow police tape.  Yet something like half the local news is people talking about Who Got Shot Today.  Add in commercials, the wacky weatherman, and the local entertainment reporter trying to convince various celebrities he's worth talking to, and there's maybe five minutes for actual, non-Who Got Shot Today news during the entire program.
 
2013-03-08 12:50:12 PM  
I already have my morning paper. It's called Fark.
 
2013-03-08 01:16:38 PM  
Bacon sammich is a cure for everything.
 
2013-03-08 06:52:02 PM  
Louis Jordan - What's The Use of Getting Sober (When You're Gonna Get Drunk Again?)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5p3i_t3c80
 
2013-03-08 10:08:11 PM  

Well Armed Sheep: Bacon sammich is a cure for everything.


Righteous. QFT, my brother.

/ You gotta newsletter?
 
Displayed 29 of 29 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report