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(HitFix)   We know Wonder Woman and Black Widow deserve their own movie, but does Vampirella? Yes, yes she does   (hitfix.com) divider line 108
    More: Cool, Wonder Woman, Vampirella, comic books  
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5245 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 08 Mar 2013 at 7:51 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-08 01:15:16 AM
We did have a Vampirella movie in 1996, submitter.

And as a huge fan of the comic series, the movie was a complete & utter piece of sh*t. It would be nice to see a decently made Vampirella movie.
 
2013-03-08 02:16:22 AM
^ yup. what she said. ^
 
2013-03-08 02:56:40 AM
As a kid fan from the 70s, how the hell did I miss that?

And, if there's going to be a new one, who would you want to see in the roll?
 
2013-03-08 03:15:53 AM
'Hell, there's even a love-triangle element to be exploited for younger "Twi"-hard types, which of course begs the question: are you "Team Scott" or "Team Logan"?'

Don't even write that.
 
2013-03-08 06:09:13 AM
Actually, Wonder Woman is a pretty shiatty, boring character and doesn't deserve a movie, which is why one hasn't been made.

With the right actress, Vampirella would be a decent jiggle movie that would inspire teenage boys who haven't figured out how to bypass parental security locks on the computer to masturbate with great vigor.
 
2013-03-08 07:41:11 AM
And as a huge fan of the comic series, the movie was a complete & utter piece of sh*t. It would be nice to see a decently made Vampirella movie.

Yeah, as a young lad just getting into gothic girls, that movie was disappointing. Rose McGowan would have been a better choice.
 
2013-03-08 08:08:51 AM

Mugato: Rose McGowan would have been a better choice.


I'll be in my bunk.
 
2013-03-08 08:09:09 AM
Don't tell me what I know, jerk-ass.

Personally I'd rather see a movie based on the Pro. Now there's a role model...
 
2013-03-08 08:15:18 AM
 
2013-03-08 08:15:25 AM

Subdue their bellies: Personally I'd rather see a movie based on the Pro. Now there's a role model...


My brainmeats seem to recall that such a thing was seriously discussed at some point. Personally, I think it's more of a premise for a series than anything else. Put it back-to-back with the "Powers" TV series that's constantly falling in and out of production.

FirstNationalBastard: Actually, Wonder Woman is a pretty shiatty, boring character and doesn't deserve a movie, which is why one hasn't been made.


Not really true. I don't even follow DC or Marvel, but Wonder Woman is a warrior princess from what is essentially another world. There's a lot of potential to mine in that premise. More than there is for, say, Daredevil.

Also, even though she's only a supporting character, I'd love a Monster Girl movie. Monster Girl is awesome.
 
2013-03-08 08:23:37 AM

t3knomanser: Not really true. I don't even follow DC or Marvel, but Wonder Woman is a warrior princess from what is essentially another world. There's a lot of potential to mine in that premise. More than there is for, say, Daredevil.


She's an Amazon who wears American flag panties, flies an invisible jet and has a lasso that makes you tell the truth. She's like the Mad Libs of super heroes. But if they want to follow the Avengers method, she should have her own movie. Get Joss Whedon and cast Summer Glau or that other girl from Firefly.
 
2013-03-08 08:24:32 AM

t3knomanser: Subdue their bellies: Personally I'd rather see a movie based on the Pro. Now there's a role model...

My brainmeats seem to recall that such a thing was seriously discussed at some point. Personally, I think it's more of a premise for a series than anything else. Put it back-to-back with the "Powers" TV series that's constantly falling in and out of production.

FirstNationalBastard: Actually, Wonder Woman is a pretty shiatty, boring character and doesn't deserve a movie, which is why one hasn't been made.

Not really true. I don't even follow DC or Marvel, but Wonder Woman is a warrior princess from what is essentially another world. There's a lot of potential to mine in that premise. More than there is for, say, Daredevil.

Also, even though she's only a supporting character, I'd love a Monster Girl movie. Monster Girl is awesome.


Wonder Woman as written in over 70 years of comics is generally a boring, shiatty character (Perez's run excluded).

Yes, there's a decent idea there, but it's never really translated into good stories. And as long as WBDC is in charge, it probably never will.
 
2013-03-08 08:24:48 AM

Mugato: just getting into gothic girls


I still do, even though I continually get bit over and over again. But like a dumb ass I still keep running to touch the flames.
 
2013-03-08 08:29:40 AM

Mugato: She's an Amazon who wears American flag panties, flies an invisible jet and has a lasso that makes you tell the truth.


In the comics she can fly without a plane, run as fast as the Flash, take on anyone save for possibly, maybe, Superman and win, and all around kick ass. In many of the comics it's pretty clear that with the exception of Superman she is the top of the heap, and some would argue she in ways surpasses him.
 
2013-03-08 08:31:00 AM

Mugato: She's an Amazon who wears American flag panties, flies an invisible jet and has a lasso that makes you tell the truth


Last I checked, none of those things are true anymore. The character's been rebooted and retconned so many times. I mean, honestly, you're basically just doing "Xena" in a modern-day setting.

Mugato: Get Joss Whedon and cast Summer Glau or that other girl from Firefly.


No. Just no. I don't even like the character, but casting Glau or Baccarin would be an affront. You need someone physically intimidating. Gina Carano would be a better choice, and someone who actually has the background to handle the physical portions of the role. And she can act well enough with proper direction, as show in  Haywire.
 
2013-03-08 08:32:10 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: Mugato: just getting into gothic girls

I still do, even though I continually get bit over and over again. But like a dumb ass I still keep running to touch the flames.


Goes with the territory. Got a knife pulled on me once. God I miss her.
 
2013-03-08 08:33:58 AM

WhyteRaven74: In many of the comics it's pretty clear that with the exception of Superman she is the top of the heap, and some would argue she in ways surpasses him.


My impression is that she would beat Superman because, while they both have similar codes of honor, she's more willing to sacrifice the moral ground for victory. Like if Supes went all "Irredeemable", she could put him in the ground and live with the consequences.
 
2013-03-08 08:35:44 AM
I think Vampirella could be really good as an animated film, but I just don't see any way for the character to translate to live action without looking ridiculous.
 
2013-03-08 08:36:17 AM
Adam Sandler deserves to be in movies more than Wonder Woman.  Vampirella has been done.

Can we please get a preliminary IQ test for Submitters?  I refuse to say anything bad about the wonderful, classy, and good-looking moderators who approve this sort of thing.  They do a superb job, and are criticized far too often.  To my mind there is no good reason to subject them to submissions with this much stupid.
 
2013-03-08 08:36:23 AM

Mugato: Goes with the territory. Got a knife pulled on me once. God I miss her.


Was yours while you were asleep to be woken up to said knife?

Some life experiences have to be lived through, there is no description that can accurately account for them.
 
2013-03-08 08:37:15 AM

The Martian Manhandler: I'll just leave this here... (SFW-ish)


Dear God...thank you for that...

/I'll be in my bunk.
 
2013-03-08 08:37:22 AM

t3knomanser: My impression is that she would beat Superman because, while they both have similar codes of honor, she's more willing to sacrifice the moral ground for victory. Like if Supes went all "Irredeemable", she could put him in the ground and live with the consequences.


Good point.
 
2013-03-08 08:38:58 AM
Wonder Woman never appeared on Smallville.  Lois Lane dressed (similar) to her a couple times, but never the actual Wonder Woman

www.nypost.com
 
2013-03-08 08:45:58 AM

Mugato: t3knomanser: Not really true. I don't even follow DC or Marvel, but Wonder Woman is a warrior princess from what is essentially another world. There's a lot of potential to mine in that premise. More than there is for, say, Daredevil.

She's an Amazon who wears American flag panties, flies an invisible jet and has a lasso that makes you tell the truth. She's like the Mad Libs of super heroes. But if they want to follow the Avengers method, she should have her own movie. Get Joss Whedon and cast Summer Glau or that other girl from Firefly.


They should make a Wonder Woman movie an explicit bondage movie, in keeping with the spirit of the original comic.
 
2013-03-08 08:53:15 AM

t3knomanser: My impression is that she would beat Superman because, while they both have similar codes of honor, she's more willing to sacrifice the moral ground for victory. Like if Supes went all "Irredeemable", she could put him in the ground and live with the consequences.


At first I was all "WTF am I reading?" but if you grant that Diana is a magical being, then yes, Kal is vulnerable to her.

In other news, this list fails so hard, it goes right up there with the lady newscaster falling off the platform while stomping grapes video.

Dazzler?  Really?  In what universe is there enough tension in that character to sustain a 2-hour movie?  Psylocke?  Okay, now you're just trolling. Jean Gray?  Storm?  That'd be like making a Dr. McCoy movie or a Scotty movie.  They are just not stand alone characters.  Without the tension of the X-men she'd be about as interesting as an IceMan movie. (Oh, God, I shouldn't have said that.  Now someone's shopping the IceMan script and Harry Knowles will post about it.)

Super-heroines who could sustain the weight of a two-hour story arc:

1)  ElastiGirl.  The kids are growing up, Mr. Incredible is back being a supe, and what is she supposed to do?  She's in her forties and people all still calling her "ElastiGIRL."  You could do a whole hero's journey where she leaves her family for a few months of backpacking in the Canadian Wilderness and discovers a plan by Dr. Cold to start a new Ice Age....

2)  Black Canary.  Wait, wait, don't hit the back button.  What if you did a Black Canary movie set in the Prohibition era?  Gangsters, guns, art deco, a singing doll in a stunning black dress fronting for a big band....

3)  Kitty Pryde.  She's so intense, so eager to do the right thing, so vulnerable, and such a limited set of powers.  That's a YA novel ready to be made into a movie.

Sadly, that's about all I can think of.  Comics are primarily written by men for boys, and having deep women characters with self-sustaining drives and conflicts.... not quite as important.

Though a Poison Ivy/Harlequin team-up movie could do some cool things if you're willing to go all Sergio Leone and make the audience root for the bad girl.
 
2013-03-08 08:55:23 AM
Tyrone Slothrop:
They should make a Wonder Woman movie an explicit bondage movie, in keeping with the spirit of the original comic.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.
 
2013-03-08 08:57:11 AM
Why does BW deserve her own?  I don't want to watch a 2hr movie where the purpose of the main character is to have zero depth.
 
2013-03-08 09:01:48 AM

Bathia_Mapes: We did have a Vampirella movie in 1996, submitter.

And as a huge fan of the comic series, the movie was a complete & utter piece of sh*t. It would be nice to see a decently made Vampirella movie.


This is exactly *exactly* how I feel about Tank Girl.
 
2013-03-08 09:06:58 AM

kumanoki: This is exactly *exactly* how I feel about Tank Girl.


I don't know anything about Tank Girl but Naomi Watts was hot in that movie.

cdn-media.hollywood.com
 
2013-03-08 09:13:17 AM

Mugato: Get Joss Whedon and cast Summer Glau or that other girl from Firefly.


WB hired Joss Whedon to do a Wonder Woman movie several years ago.  They didn't like his ideas and canned him.  Then they made the sh*tty tv show that never made it past the pilot episode.

Smooth move, WB.
 
2013-03-08 09:13:29 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Actually, Wonder Woman is a pretty shiatty, boring character and doesn't deserve a movie, which is why one hasn't been made.


What about if you turned her into the bondage freak that her creator intended her to be?
 
2013-03-08 09:23:51 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Actually, Wonder Woman is a pretty shiatty, boring character and doesn't deserve a movie, which is why one hasn't been made.

With the right actress, Vampirella would be a decent jiggle movie that would inspire teenage boys who haven't figured out how to bypass parental security locks on the computer to masturbate with great vigor.



So what you're saying is that even with the right actress there would be no audience for it. I agree with you on that. Some of these characters are just plain stupid. When we were 12 they didn't seem as dumb, but things have changed sinice we were 12 - and not just us.

Wonder Woman is like that. My grandpa might be interested in a Wonder Woman movie, but in general the character is just silly and I doubt today's audiences would be all that interested.

And Dazzler... WTF? The list lost me totally when I got to that one.
 
2013-03-08 09:27:38 AM

DanInKansas: t3knomanser: My impression is that she would beat Superman because, while they both have similar codes of honor, she's more willing to sacrifice the moral ground for victory. Like if Supes went all "Irredeemable", she could put him in the ground and live with the consequences.

At first I was all "WTF am I reading?" but if you grant that Diana is a magical being, then yes, Kal is vulnerable to her.

In other news, this list fails so hard, it goes right up there with the lady newscaster falling off the platform while stomping grapes video.

Dazzler?  Really?  In what universe is there enough tension in that character to sustain a 2-hour movie?  Psylocke?  Okay, now you're just trolling. Jean Gray?  Storm?  That'd be like making a Dr. McCoy movie or a Scotty movie.  They are just not stand alone characters.  Without the tension of the X-men she'd be about as interesting as an IceMan movie. (Oh, God, I shouldn't have said that.  Now someone's shopping the IceMan script and Harry Knowles will post about it.)

Super-heroines who could sustain the weight of a two-hour story arc:

1)  ElastiGirl.  The kids are growing up, Mr. Incredible is back being a supe, and what is she supposed to do?  She's in her forties and people all still calling her "ElastiGIRL."  You could do a whole hero's journey where she leaves her family for a few months of backpacking in the Canadian Wilderness and discovers a plan by Dr. Cold to start a new Ice Age....

2)  Black Canary.  Wait, wait, don't hit the back button.  What if you did a Black Canary movie set in the Prohibition era?  Gangsters, guns, art deco, a singing doll in a stunning black dress fronting for a big band....

3)  Kitty Pryde.  She's so intense, so eager to do the right thing, so vulnerable, and such a limited set of powers.  That's a YA novel ready to be made into a movie.

Sadly, that's about all I can think of.  Comics are primarily written by men for boys, and having deep women characters with self-sustaining drives and conflicts.... not quite as important.

Though a Poison Ivy/Harlequin team-up movie could do some cool things if you're willing to go all Sergio Leone and make the audience root for the bad girl.


I think Carol Danvers!Captain Marvel could carry a movie
 
2013-03-08 09:30:02 AM

Mugato: She's like the Mad Libs of super heroes.


farm9.staticflickr.com

t3knomanser: My impression is that she would beat Superman because, while they both have similar codes of honor, she's more willing to sacrifice the moral ground for victory. Like if Supes went all "Irredeemable", she could put him in the ground and live with the consequences.


^^^ see above ^^^
 
2013-03-08 09:31:09 AM

BattleFrenchie28: I think Carol Danvers!Captain Marvel could carry a movie


But is cinema ready for the story of a woman who was raped by her own son so she could give birth to him?

Arkanaut: FirstNationalBastard: Actually, Wonder Woman is a pretty shiatty, boring character and doesn't deserve a movie, which is why one hasn't been made.

What about if you turned her into the bondage freak that her creator intended her to be?


Well, maybe that could work.
 
2013-03-08 09:31:13 AM

The Martian Manhandler: I'll just leave this here... (SFW-ish)


That is one pasty white woman.

nothing wrong with that.

i'll take 2!
 
2013-03-08 09:33:14 AM
img856.imageshack.us

I think the answer is yes.
 
2013-03-08 09:35:07 AM
img339.imageshack.us
 
2013-03-08 09:35:58 AM
img855.imageshack.us
 
2013-03-08 09:39:39 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Actually, Wonder Woman is a pretty shiatty, boring character and doesn't deserve a movie, which is why one hasn't been made.


I beg to differ. Wonder Woman has two interesting backstories where you can build a whole universe from. In one version, Wonder Woman is a golem shaped by the Queen of the Amazons, who was then brought to life by the gods and gifted with powers by them. She lives in a women only society and suddenly after seeing a man for the first time, a modern man who washed up on the shores of her magical island, decides to go back with him. She becomes the ultimate fish out of water in the modern age of man. The other versions has Wonder Woman believing and doing all that but later on discovers that she isn't a golem at all but a demi-god whose father is Zeus, himself. Her mother had lied to her all of these years to protect her from Hera but Hera found out and now the gods are either gunning for Diana or wanting to help her.

If you can't make a decent story from that then you don't deserve to call yourself a writer.

The problem, I see, is that most writers are hung up on the fact that Wonder Woman is *gasp* a woman and therefore, her story, in their minds, must be about "women issues" i.e., finding Mr. Right, starting a family, juggling a career while having babies, babies, BABIES! They can never see past that to see what a goldmine of mythology they have there.
 
2013-03-08 09:42:36 AM

kumanoki: Bathia_Mapes: We did have a Vampirella movie in 1996, submitter.

And as a huge fan of the comic series, the movie was a complete & utter piece of sh*t. It would be nice to see a decently made Vampirella movie.

This is exactly *exactly* how I feel about Tank Girl.


Hey, the Cole Porter number was worth the ticket price.
 
2013-03-08 09:42:37 AM

Frothy Panties: The Martian Manhandler: I'll just leave this here... (SFW-ish)

Dear God...thank you for that...

/I'll be in my bunk.


Second.

/I'm sure she's insane in real life, but Belle Chere is... damn. Just, damn.
 
2013-03-08 09:47:43 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Actually, Wonder Woman is a pretty shiatty, boring character and doesn't deserve a movie, which is why one hasn't been made.

With the right actress, Vampirella would be a decent jiggle movie that would inspire teenage boys who haven't figured out how to bypass parental security locks on the computer to masturbate with great vigor.


Sure, a brunette with huge...tracts of land, a skimpy outfit, and super powers who fights Greek gods and monsters is boring. There is no money in that. At all. People didn't tune into to watch a TV show featuring a similar character, played by Lucy Lawless, for years or anything.

WhyteRaven74: Mugato: She's an Amazon who wears American flag panties, flies an invisible jet and has a lasso that makes you tell the truth.

In the comics she can fly without a plane, run as fast as the Flash, take on anyone save for possibly, maybe, Superman and win, and all around kick ass. In many of the comics it's pretty clear that with the exception of Superman she is the top of the heap, and some would argue she in ways surpasses him.

 
2013-03-08 09:55:35 AM
Eh, MCU fans keep saying Black Widow should get a movie,  but I don't think that would really work that well.  But goddamnit, they need to fricken give Carol Danvers a movie.  I don't care if they call her Ms Marvel or Captain Marvel, the woman deserves a goddamned movie.
 
2013-03-08 09:55:42 AM

verbaltoxin: In the comics she can fly without a plane, run as fast as the Flash, take on anyone save for possibly, maybe, Superman and win, and all around kick ass. In many of the comics it's pretty clear that with the exception of Superman she is the top of the heap, and some would argue she in ways surpasses him.



I guess I need to this:

img818.imageshack.us
Around for a while
 
2013-03-08 09:58:51 AM
Just thought of this, don't know how often I've looked at that page, why is the Big Blue Boyscout arguing that he can beat up a woman?! A little too much ego and not enough chivalry displayed by Ma an Pa Kent's boy.
 
2013-03-08 09:59:26 AM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: I guess I need to this:


Batman still trumps both
 
2013-03-08 10:02:31 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: Batman still trumps both


Notice neither of them had the balls to question that.
 
2013-03-08 10:06:34 AM

mekki: FirstNationalBastard: Actually, Wonder Woman is a pretty shiatty, boring character and doesn't deserve a movie, which is why one hasn't been made.

I beg to differ. Wonder Woman has two interesting backstories where you can build a whole universe from. In one version, Wonder Woman is a golem shaped by the Queen of the Amazons, who was then brought to life by the gods and gifted with powers by them. She lives in a women only society and suddenly after seeing a man for the first time, a modern man who washed up on the shores of her magical island, decides to go back with him. She becomes the ultimate fish out of water in the modern age of man. The other versions has Wonder Woman believing and doing all that but later on discovers that she isn't a golem at all but a demi-god whose father is Zeus, himself. Her mother had lied to her all of these years to protect her from Hera but Hera found out and now the gods are either gunning for Diana or wanting to help her.

If you can't make a decent story from that then you don't deserve to call yourself a writer.

The problem, I see, is that most writers are hung up on the fact that Wonder Woman is *gasp* a woman and therefore, her story, in their minds, must be about "women issues" i.e., finding Mr. Right, starting a family, juggling a career while having babies, babies, BABIES! They can never see past that to see what a goldmine of mythology they have there.


This. Everyone who thinks Wonder Woman is a shiatty character hasn't been reading the New 52 version, headed up by 100 Bullets writer Brian Azzarello. Turning her into a demigod makes the character really work.
 
2013-03-08 10:07:21 AM
wackymania.com
 
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