Come on, it was his only weekend with the kid in 2 weeks. What else was he going to do. The water park is closed.

Hero tag was busy?

then they were mauled by lions

He also admitted to stealing a bottle of soda? OUTRAGEOUS!!!

Please be in a Walmart.
Please be in a Walmart.

 cocaine-laced marijuana

A Wooer? Also heared em called Luke Skywalkers

reading a pornographic magazine in the women's restroom while smoking a cocaine-laced marijuana cigarette and being accompanied by a small child

He should get a few years in prison, at least...

The man ... also admitted that he had stolen a bottle of soda from the store, police said.

KILL HIM.

Too bad he wasn't having sex with a dead dog in front of a daycare.

What they really got him for was stealing that soda.

I think he picked the wrong time to go shopping (shoplifting) at the grocery store.

He.....left the toilet seat UP????

That bastard!!!

What, would you rather have them leave the kid in the car?

That IS pretty impressive. I mean, he even admitted to shoplifting.

All he needed was to maybe shove a cop and make some kind of vague terroristic threat and I think he would have officially run the gamut.

Hey it's the new pope!

But there was no mention of a banana in his tailpipe...

Superfecta? I thought it was called lunch hour.

Why does everyone jump to conclusions here?

red5ish: Marijuana cigarette? Really? Is that how they're described these days?

Habitually.

Thanks Obama

So he brought his own porn, laced his weed so he could keep chipper, and had enough sense to use the more sanitary ladies restroom....all before 730 in the morning!? Safeway should've hired this go getter.

THX 1138: Too bad he wasn't having sex with a dead dog in front of a daycare.

This will always be the Fark Superfecta.

THX 1138: Too bad he wasn't having sex with a dead dog in front of a daycare.

That was my all-time favorite Fark story.

/wasn't here for "my daddy ate my eyes"

THX 1138: Too bad he wasn't having sex with a dead dog in front of a daycare.

But, was it a female dog?

The father in question

I wanna party with you!

busy chillin': Onkel Buck: cocaine-laced marijuana

A Wooer? Also heared em called Luke Skywalkers

We always called them primos..hence my joke up thread.
 I mean, other people called them that. I overheard them.

We called them coco puffs.

TaDa!

"[...]at a Safeway supermarket in El Cerrito over the weekend[...]"

PSA for everyone; 'El Cerrito' means 'The Cerrito'.

/hth

red5ish: Marijuana cigarette? Really? Is that how they're described these days?

Shouldn't it be "marihuana cigarette?"

A Shambling Mound: red5ish: Marijuana cigarette? Really? Is that how they're described these days?

Habitually.


And furthermore, Susan, I see what you did there.

red5ish: Marijuana cigarette? Really? Is that how they're described these days?

The hardcore mari-ju-wana addict will typically refer to them as "reefers".

"KNOW YOUR DOPE FIEND. YOUR LIFE MAY DEPEND ON IT! You will not be able to see his eyes because of the Tea-Shades, but his knuckles will be white from inner tension and his pants will be crusted with semen from constantly jacking off when he can't find a rape victim. He will stagger and babble when questioned. He will not respect your badge. The Dope Fiend fears nothing. He will attack, for no reason, with every weapon at his command-including yours. BEWARE. Any officer apprehending a suspected marijuana addict should use all necessary force immediately. One stitch in time (on him) will usually save nine on you. Good luck.
-The Chief"

DAMN! I had him in the basement reloading his spent casings and doing the other.
Pfffft $50 down the toilet.
When's the next race?

busy chillin': her mothering skills are not primo

Someone didn't bother to read the article.

at 6:45AM? holy crap! our supermarkets don't open till like 8:00.This is actually my grocery store.  It's a nice Safeway.  It opens at 6:00 a.m. and closes at 2:00 a.m.
I was there just after this incident because first thing Sunday is a great time to get stuff like grocery shopping done.  There were tons of cops.  The staff was nonplussed.

remember those Hardee's ads a few years back?  if you're gonna do X then DO x?
get out of jury duty was the one i remember...

was trying to find that ad because i thought it was funny to post here.  couldn't find it on a gis for hardee's commercial, but i did find something better so i'll just post that instead:

If that's wrong then etc etc

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: busy chillin': Onkel Buck: cocaine-laced marijuana

A Wooer? Also heared em called Luke Skywalkers

We always called them primos..hence my joke up thread.
 I mean, other people called them that. I overheard them.

We called them coco puffs.

This guy knows what's up.