If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Salon)   Company announces major leap forward in holodeck technology, creates device to let people have sex over the internet   (salon.com) divider line 90
    More: Strange  
•       •       •

10732 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2013 at 1:35 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



90 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-03-07 11:58:00 PM
Thank God Omni magazine had the foresight to coin the word "dildonics" back in whatever decade it was when we had Omni magazine.
 
2013-03-08 12:15:14 AM
Interesting.
 
2013-03-08 12:22:54 AM
I've always referred to that as "hand"
 
2013-03-08 12:28:46 AM

Xcott: Thank God Omni magazine had the foresight to coin the word "dildonics" back in whatever decade it was when we had Omni magazine.


Teledildonics, in this case, as they're transmitting control signals over a distance.
 
2013-03-08 01:40:45 AM
Great. Just more of the worst IT task ever: prying some guys Johnson out of a Rj-45 jack.

Him: "I fell on it! It was an accident!"
Me: "Don't touch that other network cable! We don't have Spanning Tree!"

/A little joke for my fellow IT guys
 
2013-03-08 01:41:35 AM
You'll be in my bunk?
 
2013-03-08 01:42:14 AM
All the wishlist gifts you Farkers bought for Farkettes will finally pay off!
 
2013-03-08 01:43:12 AM
Great. Now hookers can ply their trade online.
 
2013-03-08 01:44:33 AM
Next stop, Vertiform City.
 
2013-03-08 01:48:16 AM
i presume these come with a single-player mode :-)
 
2013-03-08 01:48:34 AM
This reminds me of something I saw on the Big Bang Theory.
 
2013-03-08 01:50:24 AM
I need to update my firmware.
 
2013-03-08 01:51:54 AM
They claim to have invented the sock?
 
2013-03-08 01:51:58 AM
I foresee those private cam sites set up so the women (or men) on them can control and bring off their viewers in their private rooms. For an extra fee, of course.  Of course you could program something to change it signal randomly, so that you can experience the same thing randomly.

I once worked for a adult website. We had a technology wishlist. The other was taking Japanese robotics technology, plus a realdoll, plus internet control of the doll, so that a person could operate the doll making it seem alive for the partner. We reckoned the first AI android would learn social interactions, and the second would give handjobs.
 
2013-03-08 01:54:22 AM
come on, jessica 6....come on, jessica 6
fusionanomaly.net
 
2013-03-08 01:54:55 AM

Theaetetus: Xcott: Thank God Omni magazine had the foresight to coin the word "dildonics" back in whatever decade it was when we had Omni magazine.

Teledildonics, in this case, as they're transmitting control signals over a distance.


img.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-08 01:56:55 AM
Seriously, I remember thinking as I watched the first runs of ST:NG and especially DS9, that the absolute worst job on both had to be the guy in charge of cleaning up the holodecks daily.

I mean, the quantity of spooge, human and alien and God knows what, in those had to be just revolting.
 
2013-03-08 02:00:55 AM
At least this way, there's nothing bad like unplanned pregnancies or the inevitable abor***CARRIER LOST***
 
2013-03-08 02:03:37 AM
This will really help me focus when I take breaks from writing my screenplay!

At Starbucks.
 
2013-03-08 02:05:16 AM
Pfft, rookies.

cdn.1d4.us

Welcome to 199x
 
2013-03-08 02:06:20 AM
The best part is the mobile app for my iPhone!

/currently banned from public parks
 
2013-03-08 02:07:27 AM

Aulus: Seriously, I remember thinking as I watched the first runs of ST:NG and especially DS9, that the absolute worst job on both had to be the guy in charge of cleaning up the holodecks daily.

I mean, the quantity of spooge, human and alien and God knows what, in those had to be just revolting.


Nah, they're so efficient in the future -- they probably recycled that stuff into food.

Enjoy that image.
 
2013-03-08 02:07:45 AM
I might be in the minority here, but, I always thought of the holodecks as a way to do some pretty dangerous things, but live, and just walk away. Sure, I thought of the sex aspect, but flying a Splitfire during the battle of britain, or descending into the Marianas trench in a sub , or doing one of those awesome "i cannot believe they did that " heliski onto the top of some unskied mountain Warren Miller moments, or standing on top of the ISS and looking up ( or down, the enemy is down ) , or flying carrier duty and landing an F4U . ... at night, Coral Sea . Typhoon. yeah.
I always thought of the extreme re-enactment. sex is simple. basejumping in Shanghai is not that simple.
I know- one could have endless orgies but I ilke the fact that the tech will happen, and it will be driven by sex. Thats why we all have broadband- we like to look at naked broads and dial up sucked. I appologise for my term broads- but thats the only way it would work. Twinkband is not in use, afaik. However, I really see entertainment companies non pr0n who will back this, so- everybody wins. Except for the cleaning staff, and that doesnt change from pr0n to i went kayaking and got sick booth .
 
2013-03-08 02:08:13 AM
farm5.staticflickr.com
i586.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-08 02:09:25 AM

Xcott: Thank God Omni magazine had the foresight to coin the word "dildonics" back in whatever decade it was when we had Omni magazine.


For some reason I'm hearing the cheery Aurora Bomber pilot from Command and Conquer saying "Dildonics online"
 
2013-03-08 02:13:29 AM

Xcott: Omni magazine


Of all print magazines, that one should still be going and not dead, yet it is the reverse for us or people mags.
Im looking into the rights atm- it could relaunch as pure digital with premium paid downloads. by premium i mean five cents usd
 
2013-03-08 02:14:44 AM
They've finally invented a way for me to have sex with myself. My narcissism is complete.
 
2013-03-08 02:15:40 AM
Lap dancing started largely because of people's fear of disease. If this does take off, I think a big portion of the market will be based on people's fear of each other. Pick your hooker and then pseudo Fark her. All from a safe distance.
 
2013-03-08 02:16:44 AM
Or you could have a whole litany of datafiles of pronstars being farked that you could sample.
 
2013-03-08 02:29:18 AM
Sign me up er in.
 
2013-03-08 02:30:42 AM

DreamSnipers: Lap dancing started largely because of people's fear of disease. If this does take off, I think a big portion of the market will be based on people's fear of each other. Pick your hooker and then pseudo Fark her. All from a safe distance.


sudo slob my knob

quickly followed by

sudo make me a sandwich

This is awesome. Between this, and the increasing number of jobs able to be performed from home, soon we'll never have to leave our dimly lit dwellings. We can have everybody in 8x8 rooms since there's no need to move, you've got VIRTUAL reality, it's way better than actual reality! That way when we've exploited and paved over all the natural resources and beauty nobody will care, except the poors who we send out into the "real" world to do the few remaining physical jobs required. Muahaha!

People will put -themselves- in the Matrix, and pay for the privilege to do so. With what, I do not know. In-game currency I guess.

Too bad about the whole becoming complacent with our place in the universe though, when the inevitable asteroid strike comes. But at least we'll never see it coming.
 
2013-03-08 02:31:15 AM
I already have sex over the internet. I'm sexing up each and every one of you as you read this.

Sluts!
 
2013-03-08 02:32:33 AM
There are going to a lot of guys having sex with men posing as girls.
Ewww
 
2013-03-08 02:32:39 AM
Buffering...
 
2013-03-08 02:33:01 AM

Ghastly: I already have sex over the internet. I'm sexing up each and every one of you as you read this.

Sluts!


Don't touch me there
 
2013-03-08 02:37:56 AM
Gonna wait for a few more generations....
gigjets.com
 
2013-03-08 02:38:18 AM

domo_kun_sai: There are going to a lot of guys having sex with men posing as girls.
Ewww


No doubt, plenty of zeus on zeus action too I bet.  I wonder if you have to clean and empty that thing right away or if it fills up a little sack like in a diaper genie?
 
2013-03-08 02:39:34 AM

Ghastly: I already have sex over the internet. I'm sexing up each and every one of you as you read this.

Sluts!


yer not doing it hard enough. plus, my arms are still available. slacker
 
2013-03-08 02:42:56 AM
so now if i get AIDS instead of Cancer the Catholics won't get all in my face about it??
 
2013-03-08 02:45:19 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I've always referred to that as "hand"


media.comicvine.com Hey paisano, why you no tell me you Italian? I usea the hanna, too.
 
2013-03-08 02:49:16 AM
Old:  "Not tonight, I have a headache."
New:  "Not tonight, my touchpad's too sensitive."
 
2013-03-08 03:03:15 AM
Hasn't this been invented a couple of times already? I swear I've been hearing of gadgets like this for several years.
 
2013-03-08 03:14:44 AM
Ted Nelson mentions "Psycho-acoustic Dildonics" in Computer Lib/Dream Machines. In a speech at the first MITS World Altair Computer Convention in Albuquerque, he called it "fark by phone."
 
2013-03-08 03:24:29 AM
bhcompy

FUFME

Came for the FUFME, so to speak.

/leaving satisfied. So to speak.
 
2013-03-08 03:24:30 AM
Now if only they could come up with a useful portable biometric device so I did not have to remember the damn password to my farking machine....
 
2013-03-08 03:28:44 AM

James F. Campbell: Great. Now hookers can ply their trade online.


Sounds like a better idea than having them ply their trade on the street.
 
2013-03-08 03:28:52 AM

Dahnkster: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I've always referred to that as "hand"

[media.comicvine.com image 850x429] Hey paisano, why you no tell me you Italian? I usea the hanna, too.


well played. high five. place hand here.jpg
 
2013-03-08 03:32:07 AM

Gawdzila: James F. Campbell: Great. Now hookers can ply their trade online.

Sounds like a better idea than having them ply their trade on the street.


My "Great." is heartfelt, not sarcastic.
 
2013-03-08 03:50:59 AM

James F. Campbell: Gawdzila: James F. Campbell: Great. Now hookers can ply their trade online.

Sounds like a better idea than having them ply their trade on the street.

My "Great." is heartfelt, not sarcastic.


Thank God, you had me worried there for a sec!
 
2013-03-08 04:35:32 AM
Maybe they can make a pack-in game interactive version with Sandra Bullock. For testing purposes.cache.io9.com
 
Displayed 50 of 90 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report