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(NJ.com)   Wanna date with a wealthy, beautiful person? Try Newark Airport........srsly   (nj.com) divider line 84
    More: Unlikely, newark, Miami Airport, Newark Airport, love interest, airports  
•       •       •

11596 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2013 at 2:59 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-03-07 02:41:19 PM  
Yeah, but you'd still be in New Jersey.
 
2013-03-07 02:41:55 PM  

show me: Yeah, but you'd still be in New Jersey.


LOL! SICK BURN!!!
 
2013-03-07 03:02:12 PM  
Was that stock photo taken with a potato?
 
2013-03-07 03:03:13 PM  
The article counts lengthy delays as a plus, because you get more time to meet people. Really?
 
2013-03-07 03:04:54 PM  
Subby says date, article says hook up

Subby sounds like a virgin
 
2013-03-07 03:05:26 PM  
EWR is one of the better airports when it comes to bars in your terminal.

I'm looking at you LAX. 2 farking bars, one of which was a chili's, in the AA terminal? You should be ashamed.
 
2013-03-07 03:06:55 PM  
for a toe tapping good time...
 
2013-03-07 03:07:35 PM  
Is it okay if I wear jeans?
 
2013-03-07 03:07:44 PM  
she better have poor eyesight and perfect penmanship
 
2013-03-07 03:08:28 PM  
FTA:  The Philadelphia airport has 16 bars, seven lounges, 57 restaurants, and one magic shop and is notable for its "friendly locals,"

So Eagles fans don't fly, or are the bar wenches easy?
 
2013-03-07 03:08:45 PM  
Fark newark airport, only airport where goons gave me trouble.

I'm walking through the checkpoint and get pulled out of the line.

In the first batch of questions, the goon asks me why I took a trip to St Martin.

(At the time, I was carrying a bag with a SLR camera, and a bag full of snorkel gear (fins, mask, gloves, etc)).

St Martin looks like this.

www.best-beaches.com

Me: I was taking a vacation?

// next dumbass question, he sees bottles of liquor in my checked bag (that I had already declared on the forms).

Goon: "What are you going to do with these"

Me: I'm going to drink them.

// never flying through Newark again because apparently the goons there are dumber than average.
 
2013-03-07 03:09:05 PM  

show me: Yeah, but you'd still be in New Jersey.


My sister lives in Fanwood, 30 minutes from Newark. Quiet, tree lined streets, walking distance from the train station and you're in Manhattan in 45 minutes. I love it there.
 
2013-03-07 03:09:14 PM  

JerseyTim: show me: Yeah, but you'd still be in New Jersey.

LOL! SICK BURN


Hey once you get out of the general Newark area New Jersey isn't that bad.
 
2013-03-07 03:10:04 PM  
"Its proximity to New York City means thousands of wealthy and beautiful people ..."

lolwut?

Is this how New York thinks the rest of the world sees them?
 
2013-03-07 03:10:35 PM  

Um



sfcitizen.com
www.jersify.com
fiftyfootant.com
guidosblog.com
i266.photobucket.com
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-07 03:11:00 PM  
Philadelphia airport has 16 bars, seven lounges, 57 restaurants, and one magic shop

A magic shop at an airport? Don't they realize how dangerous that is?
 
2013-03-07 03:11:35 PM  
I like Newark International.
 
2013-03-07 03:12:28 PM  

Crewmannumber6: show me: Yeah, but you'd still be in New Jersey.

My sister lives in Fanwood, 30 minutes from Newark. Quiet, tree lined streets, walking distance from the train station and you're in Manhattan in 45 minutes. I love it there.


Westfield (right next door) is even prettier. I'd move there in  a heartbeat if my commute wouldn't be such a biatch.
 
2013-03-07 03:13:02 PM  

theresnothinglft: JerseyTim: show me: Yeah, but you'd still be in New Jersey.

LOL! SICK BURN

Hey once you get out of the general Newark area New Jersey isn't that bad.


I was just making fun of the general perception of NJ. I drove through it once and it was lovely. Except for the fact that at the rest area I pulled into, there were NO FREAKING BATHROOMS. I thought that was the definition of a rest area.
 
2013-03-07 03:13:22 PM  

LineNoise: EWR is one of the better airports when it comes to bars in your terminal.

I'm looking at you LAX. 2 farking bars, one of which was a chili's, in the AA terminal? You should be ashamed.


LAX is such a sorry excuse for an airport. Hopefully, the new international terminal will be up to international standards.
 
2013-03-07 03:15:43 PM  
I don't particularly want to 'hook-up' in Newark airport (or anywhere else, although I did once have an unexpectedly intimate experience with a TSA official at O'Hare), but meetattheairport.com appears to have perfected time travel back to 1998*, which is something.

*'s web design. Seriously, I'm surprised there isn't a splash screen
 
2013-03-07 03:15:43 PM  

show me: Yeah, but you'd still be in New Jersey.


OMG a new jersey joke! You're so clever!
 
2013-03-07 03:15:46 PM  

show me: theresnothinglft: JerseyTim: show me: Yeah, but you'd still be in New Jersey.

LOL! SICK BURN

Hey once you get out of the general Newark area New Jersey isn't that bad.

I was just making fun of the general perception of NJ. I drove through it once and it was lovely. Except for the fact that at the rest area I pulled into, there were NO FREAKING BATHROOMS. I thought that was the definition of a rest area.


It's New Jersey.  Just do what the locals do and piss all over everything good and decent in this world.
 
2013-03-07 03:17:54 PM  

ChipNASA: Um

[sfcitizen.com image 600x358]
[www.jersify.com image 274x282]
[fiftyfootant.com image 400x245]
[guidosblog.com image 600x687]
[i266.photobucket.com image 850x639]
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x272]


I'm not liking you right now.
(partly because I considered posting pics of that sort)
 
2013-03-07 03:17:56 PM  

lordargent: Fark newark airport, only airport where goons gave me trouble.

I'm walking through the checkpoint and get pulled out of the line.

In the first batch of questions, the goon asks me why I took a trip to St Martin.

(At the time, I was carrying a bag with a SLR camera, and a bag full of snorkel gear (fins, mask, gloves, etc)).

St Martin looks like this.

[www.best-beaches.com image 800x600]

Me: I was taking a vacation?

// next dumbass question, he sees bottles of liquor in my checked bag (that I had already declared on the forms).

Goon: "What are you going to do with these"

Me: I'm going to drink them.

// never flying through Newark again because apparently the goons there are dumber than average.


You sound black/arabic
 
2013-03-07 03:21:35 PM  

chopit: show me: theresnothinglft: JerseyTim: show me: Yeah, but you'd still be in New Jersey.

LOL! SICK BURN

Hey once you get out of the general Newark area New Jersey isn't that bad.

I was just making fun of the general perception of NJ. I drove through it once and it was lovely. Except for the fact that at the rest area I pulled into, there were NO FREAKING BATHROOMS. I thought that was the definition of a rest area.

It's New Jersey.  Just do what the locals do and piss all over everything good and decent in this world.


Funny enough, that's what I did. Didn't have much choice actually; my back teeth had been swimming since about Harrisburg.
 
2013-03-07 03:22:49 PM  

Odd Bird: ChipNASA: Um

[sfcitizen.com image 600x358]
[www.jersify.com image 274x282]
[fiftyfootant.com image 400x245]
[guidosblog.com image 600x687]
[i266.photobucket.com image 850x639]
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x272]

I'm not liking you right now.
(partly because I considered posting pics of that sort)


Remember that the walking baseball mitt lives in Jersey too.
 
2013-03-07 03:24:02 PM  
Banned on the Run: You sound black/arabic

How many terrorists are carrying around 3k in camera gear, 2L of liquor, various souveniers, and a full snorkel bag?

What am I going to do? Cut someone with a fin? Bludgeon someone with the SLR body?
 
2013-03-07 03:24:50 PM  

SurelyShirley: Hopefully, the new international terminal will be up to international standards.


LAX's biggest problem is its staff. The buildings aren't that bad, but what's with the geriatric immigration line (dis)organisers, the vile-tempered Korean customs officials and the barely conscious 'cleaners'?
 
2013-03-07 03:26:14 PM  
Unless the lounges are suddenly teeming with Jamie Lynn Sigler clones these days, I call bullshiat.
 
2013-03-07 03:26:32 PM  

LessO2: Odd Bird: ChipNASA: Um

[sfcitizen.com image 600x358]
[www.jersify.com image 274x282]
[fiftyfootant.com image 400x245]
[guidosblog.com image 600x687]
[i266.photobucket.com image 850x639]
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x272]

I'm not liking you right now.
(partly because I considered posting pics of that sort)

Remember that the walking baseball mitt lives in Jersey too.


I thought he was from Utah

images.politico.com
 
2013-03-07 03:27:53 PM  

lordargent: Banned on the Run: You sound black/arabic

How many terrorists are carrying around 3k in camera gear, 2L of liquor, various souveniers, and a full snorkel bag?

What am I going to do? Cut someone with a fin? Bludgeon someone with the SLR body?


It sounds like Banned On The Run was getting hassled by CBP, not the TSA, since he/she mentioned a declarations form.
 
2013-03-07 03:27:54 PM  
I've heard the bathrooms are a great place to meet Congressmen.
 
2013-03-07 03:33:13 PM  
She's got huge... tracks on tow vehicles!
She's got huge... tracts of runway!

/DNRTA
//she's a beautiful airport right?
 
2013-03-07 03:33:24 PM  

lordargent: Banned on the Run: You sound black/arabic

How many terrorists are carrying around 3k in camera gear, 2L of liquor, various souveniers, and a full snorkel bag?

What am I going to do? Cut someone with a fin? Bludgeon someone with the SLR body?


*clicks profile
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!

How many terrorists  white folks are carrying around 3k in camera gear, 2L of liquor, various souveniers, and a full snorkel bag and don't get hassled?
 
2013-03-07 03:35:03 PM  
The Philadelphia airport has 16 bars, seven lounges, 57 restaurants, and one magic shop and is notable for its "friendly locals,"

I don;t exactly know what the sentence is trying to imply.
 
2013-03-07 03:36:07 PM  
Nice ad for an airport hookup/dating site.

Remember, the white zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers only.
 
2013-03-07 03:36:09 PM  
I like Hartsfield because you can smoke in the little smoke box there. You come out smelling like charred rancid forcemeat, and then board a little jumper to nashville. the other passengers love it.
 
2013-03-07 03:38:07 PM  

lordargent: Banned on the Run: You sound black/arabic
How many terrorists are carrying around 3k in camera gear, 2L of liquor, various souveniers, and a full snorkel bag?
What am I going to do? Cut someone with a fin? Bludgeon someone with the SLR body?


See, you just didn't realize that a black guy with snorkel gear is an automatic red flag, since all law enforcement officers know that black people don't swim.
 
2013-03-07 03:40:35 PM  
Wanna bang a stewardess?  Find out where they layover and hit the hotel bar and start buying them drinks.
 
2013-03-07 03:43:03 PM  

ChipNASA: www.jersify.com


Sorry, I would be all over that orange Jersey oompa loompa like a fat kid on a Flinstone push pop in the middle August.

I have no shame.
 
2013-03-07 03:47:02 PM  
www.banzai-institute.com
 
2013-03-07 03:48:08 PM  
LessO2: It sounds like Banned On The Run was getting hassled by CBP, not the TSA, since he/she mentioned a declarations form.

Actually, I mentioned the declarations form, and was getting hassled by customs.

So, I put the liquor on the declarations form (doing the right thing even though it's only about $50 worth of liquor), and they questioned me about it. It boggled my mind

// actually, it was just 1L of alcohol, the 2L was from a USVI trip (there's a higher limit when coming back from a us territory).
 
2013-03-07 03:48:32 PM  

LineNoise: EWR is one of the better airports when it comes to bars in your terminal.

I'm looking at you LAX. 2 farking bars, one of which was a chili's, in the AA terminal? You should be ashamed.


Terminal C? Awesome. They have a Guinness bar, a Sam Adams place and a wine bar for drinking. I mean, hell there's a Gallagher's Steakhouse there.

Terminal A? They have a Chili's and a Starbucks. I hate flying US Air out of Newark because I know I'm going to the crap terminal. Haven't flown Delta out of B in a few years so who know's what's there now.
 
2013-03-07 03:49:15 PM  
Banned on the Run: See, you just didn't realize that a black guy with snorkel gear is an automatic red flag, since all law enforcement officers know that black people don't swim.

But snorkeling isn't swimming, it's more like, guided floating.

// I don't go into water deeper than I can stand in.
 
2013-03-07 03:50:23 PM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: Subby says date, article says hook up

Subby sounds like a virgin


===========

Subby is old and doesn't know the latest slang, or anything about that hip-mop music you kids listen to.  I just thought this story was  like copasetic, daddy-o.

/Get of lawn, etc
 
2013-03-07 03:55:51 PM  

ChipNASA: Um


i266.photobucket.com

===================

Man, I'd be all over this Jersey girl.

Tell 'em, Tom Waits.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-ROB8kI_fw
 
2013-03-07 03:56:31 PM  

SuperNinjaToad: The Philadelphia airport has 16 bars, seven lounges, 57 restaurants, and one magic shop and is notable for its "friendly locals,"

I don;t exactly know what the sentence is trying to imply.


Philadelphia people are easy...
 
2013-03-07 03:58:39 PM  

Dee Snarl: Philadelphia people are easy...


Kind of gives a weird feeling to the phrase 'City of Brotherly Love'
 
2013-03-07 04:05:19 PM  

ChipNASA: Um

[sfcitizen.com image 600x358]
[www.jersify.com image 274x282]
[fiftyfootant.com image 400x245]
[guidosblog.com image 600x687]
[i266.photobucket.com image 850x639]
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x272]


WTF is that last photo?? Is that a joke or something? That's terrifying.
 
2013-03-07 04:06:18 PM  
I vote for Miami,

sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net Yes, they are giving away free shots of rum at the airport.
 
2013-03-07 04:08:29 PM  
I'm looking at you LAX. 2 farking bars, one of which was a chili's, in the AA terminal? You should be ashamed.

That's still better than their international terminal, which only has 2 crappy cafes, one at each end.  The rest of the damn thing is empty once you get through security.
 
2013-03-07 04:12:28 PM  

show me: theresnothinglft: JerseyTim: show me: Yeah, but you'd still be in New Jersey.

LOL! SICK BURN

Hey once you get out of the general Newark area New Jersey isn't that bad.

I was just making fun of the general perception of NJ. I drove through it once and it was lovely. Except for the fact that at the rest area I pulled into, there were NO FREAKING BATHROOMS. I thought that was the definition of a rest area.


Dude.  It said rest area, not restroom.  That means the whole area can be used for the purpose normally assigned to one of those rooms.  Just pick a spot behind those bushes over there and take care of your business.
 
2013-03-07 04:21:55 PM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: Dee Snarl: Philadelphia people are easy...

Kind of gives a weird feeling to the phrase 'City of Brotherly Love'


Could be worst, it could be the "City of Motherly Love"

/Wouldn't it be nice to get a blowjob...
 
2013-03-07 04:23:06 PM  
Man, I gotta take a wicked New Jersey.
 
2013-03-07 04:23:48 PM  

lordargent: Banned on the Run: You sound black/arabic

How many terrorists are carrying around 3k in camera gear, 2L of liquor, various souveniers, and a full snorkel bag?

What am I going to do? Cut someone with a fin? Bludgeon someone with the SLR body?


If the government engaged in more than cargo-cult security somebody might have thought of that.
 
2013-03-07 04:25:13 PM  

Crewmannumber6: show me: Yeah, but you'd still be in New Jersey.

My sister lives in Fanwood, 30 minutes from Newark. Quiet, tree lined streets, walking distance from the train station and you're in Manhattan in 45 minutes. I love it there.


I'm in Scotch Plains, right next door. Even nicer here.
 
2013-03-07 04:28:59 PM  

neversubmit: MyKingdomForYourHorse: Dee Snarl: Philadelphia people are easy...

Kind of gives a weird feeling to the phrase 'City of Brotherly Love'

Could be worst, it could be the "City of Motherly Love"


You have to go to Philamiteria for that.
 
2013-03-07 04:32:57 PM  

theriverrat: Crewmannumber6: show me: Yeah, but you'd still be in New Jersey.

My sister lives in Fanwood, 30 minutes from Newark. Quiet, tree lined streets, walking distance from the train station and you're in Manhattan in 45 minutes. I love it there.

I'm in Scotch Plains, right next door. Even nicer here.


Which exit?
 
2013-03-07 04:44:11 PM  

neversubmit: Wouldn't it be nice to get a blowjob...


Was that a Beach Boys reference?  'Cause it came out that way in my head.
 
2013-03-07 04:44:22 PM  
Nastiest people mover ever. Serious, carpet?
Most inconvienent people mover ever, one time three transfers to get from Rental return to the terminal we were flying out of...
 
2013-03-07 04:48:23 PM  
I see tons of hot women in most airports I travel through.  Unfortunately they never sit near me.
I get the dude breathing hard to lift his drink or the dude that just ran 4 concourses to get to his plane and didn't put on deodorant that morning.
 
2013-03-07 04:49:49 PM  

Pants_Optional: Man, I gotta take a wicked New Jersey.


Dont forget to wipe your Newark.
 
2013-03-07 04:51:28 PM  

offacue: Wanna bang a stewardess?  Find out where they layover and hit the hotel bar and start buying them drinks.


Stewardess? What decade are you living in?

Flight Attendant....or Sky Whore. They prefer either term.
 
2013-03-07 04:54:00 PM  
I have many happy memories of Newark Airport growing up (stop snickering).

Back when what is now the cargo terminal was the whole airport, we used to just go to the airport to go out onto the
observation deck to watch the planes, and when the current facilities opened we did that when they still had an
observation deck to go to.  And the first time I had cheesecake was at a restaurant in the terminal.

And the sunrise over the buildings, with Manhattan in the background, can be breathtaking if you turn so Newark is at
your back (not something I recommend unless you're a comfortable native; it is Newark after all).
 
2013-03-07 04:55:55 PM  
FTA:
The Philadelphia airport has 16 bars, seven lounges, 57 restaurants, and one magic shop
and is notable for its "friendly locals,"


I'm calling bullshiat on this one.
 
2013-03-07 05:10:07 PM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: Dee Snarl: Philadelphia people are easy...

Kind of gives a weird feeling to the phrase 'City of Brotherly Love'


"Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement." --our city's much revered Benjamin Franklin
 
2013-03-07 05:19:47 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: I have many happy memories of Newark Airport growing up (stop snickering).

Back when what is now the cargo terminal was the whole airport, we used to just go to the airport to go out onto the
observation deck to watch the planes, and when the current facilities opened we did that when they still had an
observation deck to go to.  And the first time I had cheesecake was at a restaurant in the terminal.

And the sunrise over the buildings, with Manhattan in the background, can be breathtaking if you turn so Newark is at
your back (not something I recommend unless you're a comfortable native; it is Newark after all).


The Port Authority turned the old terminal into offices now. My dad worked there before he retired. It was really cool. They left a lot of the old features in place.
 
2013-03-07 05:23:48 PM  
Are there any white people in Jersey who don't look like Snookie?
 
2013-03-07 05:24:22 PM  

Pair-o-Dice: FTA:
The Philadelphia airport has 16 bars, seven lounges, 57 restaurants, and one magic shop
and is notable for its "friendly locals,"

I'm calling bullshiat on this one.


C'mon.  Santa needed boos, snowballs.

Walking back to the Metro stop in full Saints' gear after Jim Zorn's Redskins pulled defeat from the jaws of victory a few years ago.

"You all are so nice.  Not like Eagles' fans."
 
2013-03-07 05:33:54 PM  

hurdboy: Pair-o-Dice: FTA:
The Philadelphia airport has 16 bars, seven lounges, 57 restaurants, and one magic shop
and is notable for its "friendly locals,"

I'm calling bullshiat on this one.

C'mon.  Santa needed boos, snowballs.

Walking back to the Metro stop in full Saints' gear after Jim Zorn's Redskins pulled defeat from the jaws of victory a few years ago.

"You all are so nice.  Not like Eagles' fans."


Eagles fans are about as warm and cuddly as Raiders fans.
 
2013-03-07 05:43:02 PM  

Pair-o-Dice: Eagles fans are about as warm and cuddly as Raiders fans.


Dunno.  Bubb Rubb might be fun to hang with.
 
2013-03-07 06:17:10 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-03-07 06:52:38 PM  

Sass-O-Rev: ChipNASA: Um

[sfcitizen.com image 600x358]
[www.jersify.com image 274x282]
[fiftyfootant.com image 400x245]
[guidosblog.com image 600x687]
[i266.photobucket.com image 850x639]
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x272]

WTF is that last photo?? Is that a joke or something? That's terrifying.


Wax lips
 
2013-03-07 07:01:23 PM  

lordargent: Goon: "What are you going to do with these"


I have a bad habit of answering stupid questions with extremely inappropriate answers.  In this case, I would have responded with, "give your mother an enema."

/I hate TSA
 
2013-03-07 09:22:44 PM  
"I can't believe I met Cher! And at a bus station airport in Newark!"

/I got you babe
 
2013-03-07 09:57:40 PM  
Um, I'd rather go trolling back alleys for dimestore hookers than pick up a girl in an airport.
 
2013-03-07 10:30:32 PM  
As someone who dropped my girlfriend off at Newark Airport for a flight last night, you'd think I wouldn't be getting a kick out of these replies (or the story, I guess).
 
2013-03-07 11:15:25 PM  
As someone who hooked up with FreakinB's girlfriend last night, you'd think I'd be urgently seeking Zithromax.

/sorry
//somebody had to
 
2013-03-08 12:13:53 AM  
Why would anyone go to an airport to pick up chicks?

/"kiss her where it smells -- take her to New Jersey"
 
2013-03-08 12:17:49 AM  

Kanemano: I vote for Miami,

[sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 720x960] Yes, they are giving away free shots of rum at the airport.


How many repeat visits where you allowed to make?
 
2013-03-08 02:32:16 AM  
Newark, maybe, but not Buffalo... www.buffalo.com
 
2013-03-08 03:34:10 AM  

I Like Shiny Things: Are there any white orange people in Jersey who don't look like Snookie?


FTFY
 
2013-03-08 07:09:48 AM  

LineNoise: EWR is one of the better airports when it comes to bars in your terminal.

I'm looking at you LAX. 2 farking bars, one of which was a chili's, in the AA terminal? You should be ashamed.


THIS

LAX Is no better than a bus station.. DFW D terminal seems to be the best I've found, both for bars and eye candy.
 
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