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(NJ.com)   After you fall out your window, are naked and covered in blood, do you (a) tell the police how it happened? (b) ask to be taken to the nearest hospital, or (c) scream at the police and insist on remaining naked?   (nj.com) divider line 30
    More: Strange, dale, kinnelon  
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2958 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2013 at 11:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-07 11:42:34 AM  
C- I always insist on being naked!
 
2013-03-07 11:43:43 AM  
Depends. Am I totally jacked up on meth at the time?
 
2013-03-07 11:43:44 AM  
Leave me alone! I know what I'm doing!
 
2013-03-07 11:44:56 AM  
Florida Man?  No?  That's odd
 
2013-03-07 11:45:41 AM  
What drugs am I on?
prescription medication and vodka.
Then C
 
2013-03-07 11:45:56 AM  
(D) demand fresh blood
 
2013-03-07 11:46:55 AM  
Has anyone checked the local prom to make sure everyone is ok?
 
2013-03-07 11:46:55 AM  
Depends. Am I super drunk and have I recently puked? In that case, yeah...just leave me there and let me sleep.
 
2013-03-07 11:47:03 AM  
Clicked on link to see if it was a woman. - It is
Found out she is 50. - *Chills*

I think I'm done with this article.
 
2013-03-07 11:47:19 AM  
I'm not saying sh*t about how my classmates spilled pig's blood on me and I murdered them all in a fiery telekinetic rage.

Never talk to cops. I want my lawyer. And a large towel.
 
2013-03-07 11:48:17 AM  

Gifted Many Few: Has anyone checked the local prom to make sure everyone is ok?


*shakes tiny fist*
 
2013-03-07 11:50:07 AM  
 
2013-03-07 11:53:11 AM  
Sounds like menopause, incoherent mood swings and hot flashes.  At some point, did she ask the officers if they still found her attractive?
 
2013-03-07 11:54:26 AM  
Bath salts?
 
2013-03-07 11:57:20 AM  
When I hit my head, how far out of my mind did I go? (Rolling a D20 for concussion.)
 
2013-03-07 12:05:01 PM  
Chase a woman down an alleyway with a butcher's knife & a hard-on?

/Detective Callahan
 
2013-03-07 12:06:10 PM  
FTFA, "After multiple attempts to render assistance, officers were forced to confine the woman for the safety of the officers."
 
2013-03-07 12:08:23 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: FTFA, "After multiple attempts to render assistance, officers were forced to confine the woman for the safety of the officers."


Did they beat the shiat out of her for her own protection?
 
2013-03-07 12:15:04 PM  

The Irresponsible Captain: When I hit my head, how far out of my mind did I go? (Rolling a D20 for concussion.)


biobreak.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-07 12:30:22 PM  

Benjamin Orr: StoPPeRmobile: FTFA, "After multiple attempts to render assistance, officers were forced to confine the woman for the safety of the officers."

Did they beat the shiat out of her for her own protection?


I think they used pillows when, forced, to confine the woman.
 
2013-03-07 12:54:37 PM  
D) More meth
 
2013-03-07 01:14:53 PM  
D) Masturbate of course
 
2013-03-07 03:11:49 PM  

neversubmit: (D) demand fresh blood


(E) Watch more Steven Wright standup.
 
2013-03-07 03:35:32 PM  
from an earlier report:
"The woman, Teresa Blair, was transported to Morristown Medical Center by Tri-Boro First Aid Squad after officers "responded to a report of a bloody, naked female," according to Ptl. Dan Fletcher. She was found by police on the ground outside an apartment near Quick Chek on Hamburg Turnpike, Fletcher said. In the bathroom from which Blair initially fell, Fletcher said officers found a bottle of prescription medication and a bottle of vodka. "

the little town i grew up in is between Bloomingdale & Kinnelon. The LEO Mark Gildersleeve mentioned in the linked article, knew him in HS.
 
2013-03-07 03:44:55 PM  
"We all enter this world in the same way: naked, screaming, soaked in blood. But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there."

--Dana Gould
 
2013-03-07 04:21:29 PM  
A bloody bad time to start sniffing glue.
 
2013-03-07 04:24:36 PM  
At lunch today I listened to Mike Birbiglia's bit about a sleepwalking incident that he experienced that was very similar.  It's on his album Don't Tell Anyone.  It's the story about the Missile.  It's the hardest I've laughed at a standup bit in years.  He is one funny man.
 
2013-03-07 05:24:57 PM  
Mom?
 
2013-03-07 08:09:19 PM  
e) marry me
 
2013-03-08 02:02:50 AM  
i172.photobucket.com
 
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