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(YouTube)   Actual traffic alert system in PA: "Alert: This is a test. Bryan is gay"   (youtube.com) divider line 73
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12239 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2013 at 12:14 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-07 11:50:33 AM
See, his main mistake was acknowledging that he did it in the first place. Once you acknowledge it, you're done. Instead, when you're accused of something, fix your accuser with a long, hard stare, and repeat the following.

"It wasn't me."

If they repeat their accusation, give them a longer stare, then point with your index finger in the direction of their chin, and say,

"HEY. It wasn't me."

Continue until they leave.

/thanks, eddie murphy
 
2013-03-07 12:18:04 PM
Actually, it's his brother Jerry.
 
2013-03-07 12:18:44 PM
still haven't figured out the definition of "is"
 
2013-03-07 12:19:48 PM
IF, and this is a big if, IF you acknowledge that your workstation was involved in any way with sending the message, you are SUPPOSED to say that you forgot to lock your workstation, had to pee, and someone else must have done it as a joke.
 
2013-03-07 12:20:34 PM
I'd say, stay classy PA, but well, you know.
 
2013-03-07 12:22:31 PM
I'm gay and I thought this was funny. 

:)
 
2013-03-07 12:25:44 PM
What's the one clip where the guy in class shouts "GAY!" That one .gif
 
2013-03-07 12:26:45 PM
Who is this "Bryan" and why is he happy?
 
2013-03-07 12:30:03 PM
Half the Republicans who saw this nodded solemnly and picked up their shotgun and rope.  The other half nodded solemnly and put on their lipstick and high-heels.
 
2013-03-07 12:36:24 PM
Wow.

Just wow.

Imagine what a raging poofter Bryan must be, that traffic alerts must be made to protect the public from him by warning them to keep off the roads.

WARNING: IF YOU ARE MALE AND IN PENNSYLVANIA, YOU GONNA GET RAPED. GIVE MY LOVE TO BRYAN, WHOEVER HE IS.
 
2013-03-07 12:38:27 PM
What the hell is wrong with this guy?  In politics, and does not know the ropes...

1.  Realize how bad you farked up, and say that it wasn't you.
2.  Spend the city's money on an "Internal investigation".
3.  Figure out which office staffer you hate the most.
4.  Point the finger at them, and have them fired, and have someone write a speech about your credibility and awareness of the group you have offended.
5.  Make a Senate run..

//farking novice...
 
2013-03-07 12:38:48 PM

Pocket Ninja: See, his main mistake was acknowledging that he did it in the first place. Once you acknowledge it, you're done. Instead, when you're accused of something, fix your accuser with a long, hard stare, and repeat the following.

"It wasn't me."

If they repeat their accusation, give them a longer stare, then point with your index finger in the direction of their chin, and say,

"HEY. It wasn't me."

Continue until they leave.

/thanks, eddie murphy


"If you're gonna let a fark come between our love, there's something really wrong happening here, baby."
 
2013-03-07 12:39:05 PM
The first clue should have been the spelling of Bryan. It is a known red flag if a guy uses a "y" to replace other letters in his name.
 
2013-03-07 12:40:59 PM
Kimmel's right - the dude sounds like he's in the fourth grade. Calling people "gay", and then pretending that it meant something else. He strikes me as the kind of guy who also uses words like "wee wee".
 
2013-03-07 12:43:11 PM
The press conference at the end got me for a second. That was actually pretty well done.
 
2013-03-07 12:45:16 PM

Pocket Ninja: See, his main mistake was acknowledging that he did it in the first place. Once you acknowledge it, you're done. Instead, when you're accused of something, fix your accuser with a long, hard stare, and repeat the following.

"It wasn't me."


My old man, a veteran of 30+ years in the federal bureaucracy, always said there were two master excuses one of which would fit any occasion:

1. It was like that when I got here.

2. We've always done it that way.

In this occasion, I would have chosen the first excuse and then stuck by my guns.
 
2013-03-07 12:56:09 PM
We just hired a guy whose name is Bryan.  He really is gay.

/csb
 
2013-03-07 01:03:39 PM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: What's the one clip where the guy in class shouts "GAY!" That one .gif


My cousin's kid has an acquaintance on face book that whenever the kid posts a pic, this douche posts "gay" in the comments. I watched this kid do this for about a year, figuring he would grow out of it or my cousin's kid would give him a shiner. Finally, I decided to have some fun and messaged y cousin's kid to set it up.

I told him the plan and he was all for it. The next time the kid posted "gay" I immediately posted that I was so proud of my cousin's kid for having friends who were out and proud. Then went on about how hard it was when I was their age to be gay, blah blah, and anyway, your friend's cute. Why don't' you give me his cell #? I'm going to be in his town soon and maybe I can take the lad to lunch or something. Worked like a farking charm. My cousin's kid told his friend in message that he gave his number to me, and he should expect a call from an older, mature gentleman who was very very interested in his gay friend. Poor bastard just about deleted himself from the internet.
 
2013-03-07 01:04:54 PM
"I meant 'gay' as in "happy"!"

Yeah, what is this, The Flintstones theme song? This story is funny, but that dude just needs to own up to his bullshiat.
 
2013-03-07 01:05:14 PM
"ungay?"
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-07 01:05:39 PM

Gifted Many Few: The first clue should have been the spelling of Bryan. It is a known red flag if a guy uses a "y" to replace other letters in his name.


My Very Heterosexual friend Alyxyndyr would like a word with you.

And for some odd reason, he wants you to be wearing leather pants covered in vaseline.
 
2013-03-07 01:10:53 PM

Meatybrain: My Very Heterosexual friend Alyxyndyr would like a word with you.

And for some odd reason, he wants you to be wearing leather pants covered in vaseline.


That is where I draw the line. It's assless chaps or nothing.
 
2013-03-07 01:22:26 PM
Wow, they actually used the WNEP logo during the skit, the local Wilkes-Barre ABC affiliate.
upload.wikimedia.org
Probably just grabbed the first logo off a GIS, but still kind of impressed they put that much effort into it.

/Former Poconos Resident.
//In His defense, Bryan is TOTES gay.
 
2013-03-07 01:32:41 PM
I don't know the answer. Does that mean I fail the test?
 
2013-03-07 01:37:57 PM

aedude01: I'm gay and I thought this was funny. 

:)


Are you gay BECAUSE it was funny, or are you just in a good mood today?
 
2013-03-07 01:49:35 PM

Gifted Many Few: The first clue should have been the spelling of Bryan. It is a known red flag if a guy uses a "y" to replace other letters in his name.


Bryan= gay?

he could just have parents who were crappy spellers
 
2013-03-07 01:52:06 PM

Wayne 985: Kimmel's right - the dude sounds like he's in the fourth grade. Calling people "gay", and then pretending that it meant something else. He strikes me as the kind of guy who also uses words like "wee wee".


So, I was giving a speech the other day in class on Baer V. Chase. It's a civil case centering on the creation of The Sopranos. It was fun saying Big Pussy and Little Pussy. The little kid in me chuckled. I tend to project my voice well and am certain that it was the loudest, Big Pussy the people in class, had ever heard.

/Big Pussy
 
2013-03-07 01:54:51 PM

aedude01: I'm gay and I thought this was funny.

:)


I'm gay too.  We should hang out.
 
2013-03-07 01:58:38 PM
Bob has been fired. This is not a test.
 
2013-03-07 02:25:03 PM
The councilman's picture set off the gaydar here.
 
2013-03-07 02:29:09 PM
farm4.staticflickr.com

/stay off his rear, unless you want a response
 
2013-03-07 02:32:24 PM
Im happy to see they are getting along.

Buttknuckle: aedude01: I'm gay and I thought this was funny.

:)

I'm gay too.  We should hang out.

 
2013-03-07 02:42:02 PM

Jument: The press conference at the end got me for a second. That was actually pretty well done.


Yeah.  Spokesperson is too fat unless she works for Chris Christie.
 
2013-03-07 02:46:57 PM

shazbotuh: Gifted Many Few: The first clue should have been the spelling of Bryan. It is a known red flag if a guy uses a "y" to replace other letters in his name.

Bryan= gay?

he could just have parents who were crappy spellers


I knew a girl whose name  was pronounced "charity" but spelled "chairty" on her birth certificate & other docs.  She explained,  "Mom was drunk."

Also, I thought a red flag advertised "fisting."
 
2013-03-07 02:47:19 PM
My guess is: Bryan deserved this. (whoever he is)
 
2013-03-07 02:47:55 PM

hp6sa: We just hired a guy whose name is Bryan.  He really is gay.

/csb


Everyone's gay to get a job these days.
 
2013-03-07 02:48:33 PM

Wayne 985: Kimmel's right - the dude sounds like he's in the fourth grade. Calling people "gay", and then pretending that it meant something else. He strikes me as the kind of guy who also uses words like "wee wee".




Obligatory
 
2013-03-07 02:49:14 PM

FatherChaos: My guess is: Bryan deserved this. (whoever he is)


Maybe not.

si0.twimg.com
 
2013-03-07 02:53:17 PM

BarkingUnicorn: hp6sa: We just hired a guy whose name is Bryan.  He really is gay.

/csb

Everyone's gay to get a job these days.


I knew a cop who claimed gayness to get in. I think he's married to a woman. Good ethical foundation for being a cop.
 
2013-03-07 03:01:17 PM

OldManDownDRoad: Pocket Ninja: See, his main mistake was acknowledging that he did it in the first place. Once you acknowledge it, you're done. Instead, when you're accused of something, fix your accuser with a long, hard stare, and repeat the following.

"It wasn't me."

My old man, a veteran of 30+ years in the federal bureaucracy, always said there were two master excuses one of which would fit any occasion:

1. It was like that when I got here.

2. We've always done it that way.

In this occasion, I would have chosen the first excuse and then stuck by my guns.


Also:

"It's my first day"
 
2013-03-07 03:07:10 PM
In his defense, Bryan is a total queer. Anyone who unnecessarily substitutes a Y for an I is a homo. Unless it's at the end of your name.
 
2013-03-07 03:28:41 PM
Pocket Ninja: See, his main mistake was acknowledging that he did it in the first place. Once you acknowledge it, you're done. Instead, when you're accused of something, fix your accuser with a long, hard stare, and repeat the following.

"It wasn't me."
Deny, deny, deny, make counter-accusations.


If they repeat their accusation, give them a longer stare, then point with your index finger in the direction of their chin, and say,

"HEY. It wasn't me."

Continue until they leave.

/thanks, eddie murphy
 
2013-03-07 03:29:31 PM

Pocket Ninja: See, his main mistake was acknowledging that he did it in the first place. Once you acknowledge it, you're done. Instead, when you're accused of something, fix your accuser with a long, hard stare, and repeat the following.

"It wasn't me."

If they repeat their accusation, give them a longer stare, then point with your index finger in the direction of their chin, and say,

"HEY. It wasn't me."

Continue until they leave.

/thanks, eddie murphy


That's a good one, but you forgot Steve Martin's suggestion:

You can be a millionaire.. and  never pay taxes! You say.. "Steve.. how can  I be a millionaire.. and  never pay taxes?" First.. get a million dollars.

Now.. you say, "Steve.. what do I say to the tax man when he comes to my door and says, 'You.. have  never paid taxes'?"

Two simple words. Two simple words in the English language: "I forgot!" How many times do we let ourselves get into terrible situations because we  don't say "I forgot"? Let's say you're on trial for armed robbery. You say to the judge, "I forgot armed robbery was illegal."
 
2013-03-07 03:34:54 PM

YodaBlues: Wow, they actually used the WNEP logo during the skit, the local Wilkes-Barre ABC affiliate.
[upload.wikimedia.org image 400x530]
Probably just grabbed the first logo off a GIS, but still kind of impressed they put that much effort into it.

/Former Poconos Resident.
//In His defense, Bryan is TOTES gay.


Washington, PA is a long way from the Poconos though.

Here's some local media coverage from the scene of the email:

http://www.observer-reporter.com/article/20130306/NEWS01/130309510/1 00 3
 
2013-03-07 03:48:34 PM

heili skrimsli: YodaBlues: Wow, they actually used the WNEP logo during the skit, the local Wilkes-Barre ABC affiliate.
[upload.wikimedia.org image 400x530]
Probably just grabbed the first logo off a GIS, but still kind of impressed they put that much effort into it.

/Former Poconos Resident.
//In His defense, Bryan is TOTES gay.

Washington, PA is a long way from the Poconos though.

Here's some local media coverage from the scene of the email:

http://www.observer-reporter.com/article/20130306/NEWS01/130309510/1 00 3


Oh snap, you're right. It's all the way in the southwest corner by Ohio. I just recognized the WNEP logo since Scranton/Wilkes-Barre is only about 45 minutes away from where I used to live.
 
2013-03-07 03:53:59 PM
As someone who has worked in a traffic control center I can attest that this is very easy to do.  One second you're joking around, the next the one you're joking with hits ENTER.

/Ever have your blood pressure drop to zero?
 
2013-03-07 04:13:17 PM

Gifted Many Few: Meatybrain: My Very Heterosexual friend Alyxyndyr would like a word with you.

And for some odd reason, he wants you to be wearing leather pants covered in vaseline.

That is where I draw the line. It's assless chaps or nothing.


api.ning.com
What an assless chap might look like...
 
2013-03-07 04:15:26 PM
I'm Bryan. And so is my wife!
 
2013-03-07 04:20:17 PM
Washington is very, let's say, "rural."  It's where us West Virginians go to see the real rednecks.
 
2013-03-07 04:27:23 PM
Who the hell actually cares about this? It was funny, the alert system works. Move on with your lives.
 
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