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(Daily Mail)   Chelsea Handler on Taylor Swift, "I think she's a virgin." Whoa, cat fight   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 185
    More: Stupid, Chelsea Handler, Taylor Swift, Amy Poehler, Golden Globes!, Joe Jonas, human beings, Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal  
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7285 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 07 Mar 2013 at 8:55 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-07 08:21:27 AM
I think Chelsea Handler and Taylor Swift should be placed in a deep pit, which is then sealed except for a single entry tube through which is fed thousands of angry bees.

Now, what is this story about?
 
2013-03-07 08:21:51 AM
I think she's right.  After two weeks of blue balls with not even a stinky finger, guys are moving on.
 
2013-03-07 08:26:49 AM
Just think of the implications this has for peace in theMiddle East.
 
2013-03-07 08:43:05 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I think Chelsea Handler and Taylor Swift should be placed in a deep pit, which is then sealed except for a single entry tube through which is fed thousands of angry bees.


Why do you hate bees?
 
2013-03-07 08:50:14 AM
So a person who is famous for being a drunken whore is mocking someone else for not being one.

Yeah, OK.
 
2013-03-07 08:58:58 AM
Yeah, Taydolph Swiftler should totally take a page from Chelsea's book - blow the head of E! until he finally gives her a talk show deal, then dump him before the ink is dry on the contract.

They're both horrible, talentless c-words who need to be stopped.

/Garmy Strong
 
2013-03-07 09:02:11 AM
Like everywhere virgin or technical virgin?
 
2013-03-07 09:02:13 AM
Two coonts enter, one coont leaves
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-07 09:02:26 AM
Now a million guys are thinking "hey, if she's a still virgin I'll take on the duty and she'll be so happy she won't write a breakup song about me." And they will join the million who have (not) come before.
 
2013-03-07 09:03:11 AM

nakedcritic: They're both horrible, talentless c-words who need to be stopped.


You're not giving Chelsea enough credit. She has to be good at something to have all those TV shows. I bet she takes a mean donkey punch.
 
2013-03-07 09:06:18 AM

Mugato: You're not giving Chelsea enough credit. She has to be good at something to have all those TV shows. I bet she takes a mean donkey punch.


Double vag
 
2013-03-07 09:07:15 AM
Regardless of what anybody thinks of Chelsea Handler, she has asserted a very plausible theory.

The only counter argument that I can see is that, among Taylor's bevy of boyfriends was also John Mayer.

And John Mayer always farks on the first date. Always.
 
2013-03-07 09:07:29 AM

Sybarite: Like everywhere virgin or technical virgin?


Technical virgin is best virgin.

/yea I went there
//like a moth to a flame
 
2013-03-07 09:09:07 AM
There is no getting around that the common factor in all of her failed relationships is her.
 
2013-03-07 09:09:17 AM

Ishkur: Regardless of what anybody thinks of Chelsea Handler, she has asserted a very plausible theory.

The only counter argument that I can see is that, among Taylor's bevy of boyfriends was also John Mayer.

And John Mayer always farks on the first date. Always.


You speak from personal experience? Pics, or it didn't happen.
 
2013-03-07 09:10:00 AM
With men, she is.
*wink wink*
 
2013-03-07 09:10:53 AM
I want to be the first to go on record saying; "Taylor Swift will age badly." She has beady eyes and as soon as she shows any signs of aging, she will just start looking weird. It's actually already started.

Chelsea Handler, on the other hand , looks great for a lady who's...how old is she now? Sixty?
 
2013-03-07 09:13:53 AM
So some chick from basic cable said something mean about Taylor Swift, the grammy winning mega rich 23 year old?  Somehow I don't think she cares if Taylor even responds, just so long as people actually throw a little attention her way.
 
2013-03-07 09:14:08 AM

M. Looka: I want to be the first to go on record saying; "Taylor Swift will age badly." She has beady eyes and as soon as she shows any signs of aging, she will just start looking weird. It's actually already started.


She already looks like she's had Botox.
 
2013-03-07 09:14:12 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: Mugato: You're not giving Chelsea enough credit. She has to be good at something to have all those TV shows. I bet she takes a mean donkey punch.

Double vag


Golf ball through a garden hose.
 
2013-03-07 09:17:42 AM

M. Looka: I want to be the first to go on record saying; "Taylor Swift will age badly." She has beady eyes and as soon as she shows any signs of aging, she will just start looking weird. It's actually already started.

Chelsea Handler, on the other hand , looks great for a lady who's...how old is she now? Sixty?


I'd hang out with Chelsea any day, that would be a guaranteed good time. Taylor, not so much.
 
2013-03-07 09:20:40 AM
So what she's saying is Taylor Swift is one of those "marry me first" little country girls who haven't found her dopey country guy who actually agrees to that?  Sounds plausible but not likely.
 
2013-03-07 09:23:45 AM

Flappyhead: Golf ball through a garden hose.


I'd pay good money to see that
 
2013-03-07 09:24:39 AM

M. Looka: I want to be the first to go on record saying; "Taylor Swift will age badly." She has beady eyes and as soon as she shows any signs of aging, she will just start looking weird. It's actually already started.

Chelsea Handler, on the other hand , looks great for a lady who's...how old is she now? Sixty?



There was a chart in an old National Lampoon I had (think it was john or Chris did it) where it had pictures of young girls and how they aged.


On the left and.......... on the right.

------------------------------------------

Cute as a button  = = fat as a cow

Plain Jane =  ............= Hillbilly

Exotic =.......................= Bizarre

Etc. etc.


It's always been a favorite of mine and if anyone can find it, it would be an instameme.
 
2013-03-07 09:27:42 AM
Oh how cute, some twat wasn't getting enough attention.
 
2013-03-07 09:31:53 AM

nakedcritic: Yeah, Taydolph Swiftler should totally take a page from Chelsea's book - blow the head of E! until he finally gives her a talk show deal, then dump him before the ink is dry on the contract.

They're both horrible, talentless c-words who need to be stopped.

/Garmy Strong


Throw Whitney Cummings into that description as well, and I think you've figured it out.
 
2013-03-07 09:33:08 AM
She's not a virgin.  She's mediocre at best, so she had to fark someone to get to where she is.
 
2013-03-07 09:40:26 AM
Handler looks like a dried up old barfly.
 
2013-03-07 09:40:29 AM

GAT_00: So a person who is famous for being a drunken whore is mocking someone else for not being one.

Yeah, OK.


I prefer drunken whores to people who are neither drunks or whores.  Everyone does really.  Except moms.  Moms like Taylor Swift.
 
2013-03-07 09:43:54 AM

vudukungfu: M. Looka: I want to be the first to go on record saying; "Taylor Swift will age badly." She has beady eyes and as soon as she shows any signs of aging, she will just start looking weird. It's actually already started.

Chelsea Handler, on the other hand , looks great for a lady who's...how old is she now? Sixty?


There was a chart in an old National Lampoon I had (think it was john or Chris did it) where it had pictures of young girls and how they aged.


On the left and.......... on the right.

------------------------------------------

Cute as a button  = = fat as a cow

Plain Jane =  ............= Hillbilly

Exotic =.......................= Bizarre

Etc. etc.


It's always been a favorite of mine and if anyone can find it, it would be an instameme.


I think I still have that magazine somewhere.
 
2013-03-07 09:44:10 AM

Onkel Buck: Handler looks like a dried up old barfly.


and we know she is not a virgin as there is a video out there of her getting plowed doggy-style
 
2013-03-07 09:45:32 AM

M. Looka: I want to be the first to go on record saying; "Taylor Swift will age badly." She has beady eyes and as soon as she shows any signs of aging, she will just start looking weird. It's actually already started.


Taylor Swift's eventual forays into plastic surgery will likely make Burt Reynolds look normal by comparison.
 
2013-03-07 09:51:14 AM

monoski: Onkel Buck: Handler looks like a dried up old barfly.

and we know she is not a virgin as there is a video out there of her getting plowed doggy-style


by Fiddy Cent?
 
2013-03-07 09:54:46 AM

Rapmaster2000: GAT_00: So a person who is famous for being a drunken whore is mocking someone else for not being one.

Yeah, OK.

I prefer drunken whores to people who are neither drunks or whores.  Everyone does really.  Except moms.  Moms like Taylor Swift.


I've had too much experience with drunken whores and/or whores in recovery. Give me a nice and normal girl who has never stripped or practiced law.
 
2013-03-07 09:55:23 AM
i586.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-07 09:59:31 AM
To be fair, not farking Taylor Swift sounds like a much better time than farking Chelsea Handler.

Youporn and a microwave burrito sounds like a better time than either of those options, however.
 
2013-03-07 10:00:13 AM

tin_man: I think I still have that magazine somewhere.


Well, what are you waiting for?
Please do scan it, my good man.
 
2013-03-07 10:03:53 AM

ck1938: Rapmaster2000: GAT_00: So a person who is famous for being a drunken whore is mocking someone else for not being one.

Yeah, OK.

I prefer drunken whores to people who are neither drunks or whores.  Everyone does really.  Except moms.  Moms like Taylor Swift.

I've had too much experience with drunken whores and/or whores in recovery. Give me a nice and normal girl who has never stripped or practiced law.


How about a nice and normal girl who is also a whore?
 
2013-03-07 10:05:36 AM
Taylor Swift is without a doubt the most annoying celebrity out there right now.

Oh, and Chelsea is dead-on here. She's a virgin.
 
2013-03-07 10:06:27 AM

doubled99: Taylor Swift is without a doubt the most annoying celebrity out there right now.

Oh, and Chelsea is dead-on here. She's a virgin.


So anal doesn't count...got it
 
2013-03-07 10:06:49 AM

ck1938: Rapmaster2000: GAT_00: So a person who is famous for being a drunken whore is mocking someone else for not being one.

Yeah, OK.

I prefer drunken whores to people who are neither drunks or whores.  Everyone does really.  Except moms.  Moms like Taylor Swift.

I've had too much experience with drunken whores and/or whores in recovery. Give me a nice and normal girl who has never stripped or practiced law.


Now now, some strippers are just in it for the money. A few. Stay away from lawyers, though.
 
2013-03-07 10:09:08 AM

tin_man: vudukungfu: M. Looka: I want to be the first to go on record saying; "Taylor Swift will age badly." She has beady eyes and as soon as she shows any signs of aging, she will just start looking weird. It's actually already started.

Chelsea Handler, on the other hand , looks great for a lady who's...how old is she now? Sixty?


There was a chart in an old National Lampoon I had (think it was john or Chris did it) where it had pictures of young girls and how they aged.


On the left and.......... on the right.

------------------------------------------

Cute as a button  = = fat as a cow

Plain Jane =  ............= Hillbilly

Exotic =.......................= Bizarre

Etc. etc.


It's always been a favorite of mine and if anyone can find it, it would be an instameme.

I think I still have that magazine somewhere.


I thought that was in a mad magazine from maybe the 80s?
 
2013-03-07 10:10:52 AM
She needs to set that pussy free.

/But she'll still be crazy for life.
 
2013-03-07 10:14:41 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: She needs to set that pussy free.

/But she'll still be crazy for life.


If she does set it free, it will be akin to the scene in Shawshank Redemption when Brooks sets the bird 'Jake' free.

"You free now Jake, you go live a good life"
 
2013-03-07 10:15:55 AM

vudukungfu: tin_man: I think I still have that magazine somewhere.

Well, what are you waiting for?
Please do scan it, my good man.


It's at home, but I'm going to look for it later.
 
2013-03-07 10:16:42 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: She needs to set that pussy free.

/But she'll still be crazy for life.


That's a line of tshirts, bumper stickers, etc. waiting to happen.

FREE TAYLOR'S PUSSY!
 
2013-03-07 10:21:54 AM

shintochick: HotIgneous Intruder: She needs to set that pussy free.

/But she'll still be crazy for life.

That's a line of tshirts, bumper stickers, etc. waiting to happen.

FREE TAYLOR'S PUSSY!



You're goddang genius.

I'm stealing your idea.
 
2013-03-07 10:22:02 AM
I have to admit I have a bit of a crush on Taylor Swift. She just looks like my type; very tall, skinny, slightly gawky.

Her music is OK pop fluff. It doesn't have pretensions to anything else. I doubt she'll ever have a "Boulder to  Birmingham" but there's nothing really wrong with a well crafted pop tune.
 
2013-03-07 10:22:40 AM
Sexual predator Taylor Swift forces  an unsuspecting fan to perform a "motorboat".

i.imgur.com


i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-07 10:22:40 AM
Wow, I did not realize that so many farkers would take Chelsea Handler over Taylor Swift. I'm almost embarrassed to have witnessed this. If there were any justice in this world we would not in any way be aware of who Handler is and Taylor Swift would have won a couple local talent shows and settled for vocal coaching a children's choir.
 
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