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(Fox News)   North Korea threatens pre-emptive nuclear strike in retaliation for Dennis Rodman   (foxnews.com) divider line 50
    More: Scary, Dennis Rodman, North Koreans, United States, Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, international sanctions, nuclear wars, U.N. Security Council, ballistic missiles  
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10600 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2013 at 8:26 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-03-07 08:47:46 AM
11 votes:

airsupport: CNN NOW REPORTS A NUCLEAR MISSILE ON THE LAUNCHPAD.

TENS OF NORTH KOREAN SCIENTISTS ARE HUDDLED AROUND IT.

THEY ARE NOW STICKING THEIR FINGERS IN THEIR EARS.

THEY ARE LIGHTING THE FUSE WITH A SPARKLER.

THE FUSE IS BURNING DOWN.

NEVER MIND.


We're getting a surveillance feed now...

hollywoodhatesme.files.wordpress.com
2013-03-07 09:41:15 AM
10 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com
imghumour.com
2013-03-07 08:43:58 AM
10 votes:
CNN NOW REPORTS A NUCLEAR MISSILE ON THE LAUNCHPAD.

TENS OF NORTH KOREAN SCIENTISTS ARE HUDDLED AROUND IT.

THEY ARE NOW STICKING THEIR FINGERS IN THEIR EARS.

THEY ARE LIGHTING THE FUSE WITH A SPARKLER.

THE FUSE IS BURNING DOWN.

NEVER MIND.
2013-03-07 08:48:47 AM
9 votes:
We should chopper into North Korea, kidnap The Dear Eater, and take him to a warehouse set-up with video equipment.  We then start the cameras rolling and record Dolf Lundgren pulling down Fatty's pants, bending him over his knee, and spanking him.  Then use our broadcast laser to play it on the moon, over and over again, for six weeks.  Then, carpet bomb the entire stretch of desolate shiat farms until every last soldier, civilian, and animal is dead.  Then spray radioactive fluid over every square inch.  Then delete every mention of North Korea from every book on the planet.  Then just wander around, looking at one another, knowing how awesome we are.
2013-03-07 08:32:03 AM
5 votes:
Don't they need some kind of rocket? I'm not talking about the Wiley Coyote type either.
farm9.staticflickr.com
2013-03-07 09:51:32 AM
4 votes:
i280.photobucket.com
2013-03-07 09:12:21 AM
4 votes:

JackieRabbit: yagottabefarkinkiddinme: Do we preempt their attack now?

No. Now is the time for us to protect out precious solidly fluids so that the communists can't sap them and prevent women from robbing us of our essence.


Solidly fluids. That's what bizarro superman ejaculates. I hear it hurts like a sonofabiatch.
2013-03-07 08:42:33 AM
4 votes:
A country was mean to his daddy so now that he's in the big chair he's gonna launch a preemptive strike. Wants to be a "war president".

Kim Jong Un or George W Bush.
2013-03-07 08:38:12 AM
4 votes:
Basically North Korea is the global version of Milton from Office Space.

www.investitwisely.com

Everybody thinks his mumbling threats are full of shiat...and usually they are...but one of these days something bad will probably happen if something doesn't change.
2013-03-07 10:06:42 AM
3 votes:
img.photobucket.com
SUBASS49 You inspired me.
2013-03-07 09:37:01 AM
3 votes:
Best Korea:
www.nicklasholmgren.com

They think they want our attention. They don't.
2013-03-07 09:31:34 AM
3 votes:

ferretman: Mainland USA would be the target as a nuke would cause significant (if not massive) damage anywhere it lands.


ಠ_ಠ

Have you never heard of Ohio?
2013-03-07 08:54:23 AM
3 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: great_tigers: AverageAmericanGuy: great_tigers: AverageAmericanGuy: Thanks, Dubya. Pre-emptive strikes as foreign policy were a really great idea.

NOT.

Last time I checked, W hasn't been in office in four years. Obama had an opportunity to explore a peaceful resolution to this situation and refused. If you have an opportunity to make amends with a country that has hated your guts for 60 years I think you at least explore it.

Are you Sarah Palin? Do you not know what the Bush Doctrine was and why it destabilized foreign relations with our enemies?

Again, you're missing the point. This isn't about W, I know it is easy to dump everything on him. Congrats, while still piling on Bush, you are failing to recognize the opportunity for peaceful resolution on the behalf of Obama. If you're going to hold Bush to the standard, make sure you do it for Obama too.

Your point is not my point. I understand your point. It's correct. It's also irrelevant to my point.

So we're at an impasse. I'm blaming Bush for legitimizing pre-emptive attacks as a means of foreign policy. You're trying to whitewash that by blaming Obama for letting things simmer for 4 years.

I agree with you. Now do you agree with me? Or do I get to give you a nice red background for being a Republican partisan?


Oh shiat!  You better back the fark up, bro!  I think he'd really do it!
2013-03-07 08:46:07 AM
3 votes:
I don't think the current version of Photoshop has enough power to reach the US mainland, so probably nothing to worry about.
2013-03-07 08:43:29 AM
3 votes:

Caelistis: As long as they wipe out Seattle, I'm good.


Hey! fark you with a rusty rake!
2013-03-07 08:21:04 AM
3 votes:
I don't agree with you, North Korea. I'm just saying that I understand
2013-03-07 12:25:59 PM
2 votes:
They're going to send this guy at 5 o'clock

pics.imcdb.org
2013-03-07 10:58:14 AM
2 votes:
Dear Kim,
Beloved leader please nuke Washington while congress is in session, and if you can get the Supreme Court at the same time we the people of the United States of America would be forever grateful. We would shower you and your people with freedom, just like we did with Iraq and Afghanistan.

Sincerely,


People of the US.
2013-03-07 09:48:07 AM
2 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: Thanks, Dubya. Pre-emptive strikes as foreign policy were a really great idea.

NOT.


Congratulations. This is the first "I blame Bush" whine I've seen in at least a month or so. We need more people like you to stay on point and keep old and busted memes alive and well. Seriously, do you actually think you can keep it going until 2016? Please respond; serious bet money is riding on it.
2013-03-07 09:35:16 AM
2 votes:

ferretman: you obviously no nothing about nuclear weapons. Best Korea doesn't have tactical battlefield nukes (which would cause small casualties. They would have something similar to Hiroshima or Nagasaki...you'd be talking high 5 figure deaths at a a minimum.


ಠ_ಠ

Have you never heard of Ohio? the midwest?
2013-03-07 09:27:58 AM
2 votes:

Theory Of Null: TheShavingofOccam123: <b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7630360/82905127#c82905127" target="_blank">SubBass49</a>:</b> <i>Basically North Korea is the global version of Milton from Office Space.

[www.investitwisely.com image 300x225]

Everybody thinks his mumbling threats are full of shiat...and usually they are...but one of these days something bad will probably happen if something doesn't change.</i>

So we should drop cakes on them instead of nukes? Or big red staplers? Your strange metaphor confuses and frightens me.

/I'm just a caveman
/I will sue you and your whole crummy airline!

Drop the entire 1996 Chicago Bulls Team on them.
[www.nba.com image 350x240]


Can we drop ship the entire world supply of air Jordan's on them too? Motivate our urban minded youths to invade.
2013-03-07 09:08:33 AM
2 votes:

spentmiles: We should chopper into North Korea, kidnap The Dear Eater, and take him to a warehouse set-up with video equipment.  We then start the cameras rolling and record Dolf Lundgren pulling down Fatty's pants, bending him over his knee, and spanking him.  Then use our broadcast laser to play it on the moon, over and over again, for six weeks.  Then, carpet bomb the entire stretch of desolate shiat farms until every last soldier, civilian, and animal is dead.  Then spray radioactive fluid over every square inch.  Then delete every mention of North Korea from every book on the planet.  Then just wander around, looking at one another, knowing how awesome we are.


A little harsh but I like your enthusiasm.
2013-03-07 08:22:48 AM
2 votes:
Imagine if we'd sent RuPaul.
2013-03-07 01:54:53 PM
1 votes:

Lost Thought 00: HellRaisingHoosier: I realize it is nothing but sabre-rattling, but this shiat has got to end. I have family living in Washington D.C.
fark this guy. Does the United States not have assassins?

We did, but Rand Paul just spend the night fillibustering against them


Kim Jong Un already a citizen? Wow, they really are letting anyone in.
2013-03-07 01:11:28 PM
1 votes:

PunGent: vygramul: PunGent: GiantRex: Does North Korea even have the ability to launch a nuclear missile as far as Alaska? Let alone the mainland US. I haven't really been paying attention, but I thought that most of their stuff tended to either fizzle or blow up on the launchpad.

Problem I see is they don't really need an ICBM if they have cargo freighters; not THAT hard to get a dirty bomb near our coastline, upwind.

A dirty bomb isn't a terribly useful weapon.

And there are reasons countries generally develop missiles rather than arming stealth cargo containers, and it's not because missiles look more like penises.

Not a useful weapon for a RATIONAL opponent.  Not sure that's the case here...


Well that's just because you're stupid.
2013-03-07 12:14:04 PM
1 votes:
Give it your best shot North Korea!  We will bomb you back into the stone age, or 2 weeks ago, which ever is greater....
2013-03-07 11:39:02 AM
1 votes:
i1182.photobucket.com
2013-03-07 11:37:48 AM
1 votes:
"Intercontinental ballistic missiles and various other missiles, which have already set their striking targets, are now armed with lighter, smaller and diversified nuclear warheads and are placed on a standby status," Kang said.

images.sodahead.com
2013-03-07 11:29:51 AM
1 votes:
Red Korea needs food badly.
2013-03-07 11:10:48 AM
1 votes:

Avery614: That's not how you threaten a nuclear war, THIS is how you threaten nuclear war!

1032, between 1945 and 1998 the U.S. alone detonated 1,032 nuclear bombs just to show the world, yes, we're that farking crazy.


The opening slide to that Youtube video made my head hurt from how hard I facepalmed.

/WHERE HAS ALL THE RADIATION GONE! *facepalm*
2013-03-07 11:09:09 AM
1 votes:
I think it's time we just wiped out that other side of the world. I mean, who needs it? I never go there, and we've got plenty of Chinese restaurants here.
2013-03-07 11:05:08 AM
1 votes:

Slaves2Darkness: Dear Kim,
Beloved leader please nuke Washington while congress is in session, and if you can get the Supreme Court at the same time we the people of the United States of America would be forever grateful. We would shower you and your people with freedom, just like we did with Iraq and Afghanistan.

Sincerely,


People of the US.


Well....someone just made a US Government list....
2013-03-07 11:01:49 AM
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: Thanks, Dubya. Pre-emptive strikes as foreign policy were a really great idea.


Yes, appeasement was clearly the correct solution.
2013-03-07 10:13:21 AM
1 votes:

PunGent: GiantRex: Does North Korea even have the ability to launch a nuclear missile as far as Alaska? Let alone the mainland US. I haven't really been paying attention, but I thought that most of their stuff tended to either fizzle or blow up on the launchpad.

Problem I see is they don't really need an ICBM if they have cargo freighters; not THAT hard to get a dirty bomb near our coastline, upwind.


A dirty bomb isn't a terribly useful weapon.

And there are reasons countries generally develop missiles rather than arming stealth cargo containers, and it's not because missiles look more like penises.
2013-03-07 10:11:13 AM
1 votes:
I know NK missle cannot reach Florida, so no worries.
2013-03-07 10:07:35 AM
1 votes:
That's it! This has to stop. I'm sending in that cocksucker Hans Brix!
2013-03-07 10:03:30 AM
1 votes:

DanInKansas: Love the Bush hate on the thread.  Because you know, for the thousands of years civilization has existed, no armed power ever threatened anyone else with a pre-emptive attack or invented a reason to go to war out of thin air.   And certainly before Bush there were never any power mad dictators who got too big for their britches with inevitable results.


Take a deep breath, and say this out loud:

"Fark is a left-wing echo chamber."

Any time you get the urge to reply to a b-b-b-b-but Bush post, stop what you're doing, and say it out loud again. It'll help you get a grip on the political tone of Fark.

/For the love of FSM stay out of the Politics tab
//It's the left-wing version of Freepers
2013-03-07 09:48:55 AM
1 votes:

mytdawg: Well crap, India and China are going all first world on us so we're gonna need to take over NK in order to find enough warm bodies to manufacture some cheap shiat for us for a generation or two.  We're not gonna stand around and watch him exploit his people when our conglomerates could be profiting from their misery.  Walmart needs some more dollar towels and tires.

Come at us bro.


Walmart has dollar tires? I'm outta here, time get a fresh set.
2013-03-07 09:21:30 AM
1 votes:

my lip balm addiction: Caelistis: As long as they wipe out Seattle, I'm good.

Hey! fark you with a rusty rake!


That's exactly what living in Seattle feels like. It would be no great loss.
2013-03-07 09:21:09 AM
1 votes:

DanInKansas: Love the Bush hate on the thread.  Because you know, for the thousands of years civilization has existed, no armed power ever threatened anyone else with a pre-emptive attack or invented a reason to go to war out of thin air.   And certainly before Bush there were never any power mad dictators who got too big for their britches with inevitable results.


So you admit Bush was a power mad dictator...
2013-03-07 09:12:57 AM
1 votes:

I_C_Weener: Imagine if we'd sent RuPaul.


You don't even wanna know how much I'd have paid to see that.
2013-03-07 09:09:56 AM
1 votes:
Well crap, India and China are going all first world on us so we're gonna need to take over NK in order to find enough warm bodies to manufacture some cheap shiat for us for a generation or two.  We're not gonna stand around and watch him exploit his people when our conglomerates could be profiting from their misery.  Walmart needs some more dollar towels and tires.

Come at us bro.
2013-03-07 09:08:56 AM
1 votes:
Love the Bush hate on the thread.  Because you know, for the thousands of years civilization has existed, no armed power ever threatened anyone else with a pre-emptive attack or invented a reason to go to war out of thin air.   And certainly before Bush there were never any power mad dictators who got too big for their britches with inevitable results.
2013-03-07 09:01:15 AM
1 votes:
Looks like the final countdown has reached un.
2013-03-07 09:01:05 AM
1 votes:

tom baker's scarf: Even as a card carrying liberal (it's an expression, I don't have a card) this is the kind of statement that gets me in a bombthebastardsbecausewecan kind of mood.  We're not talking about them counterfeiting US currency, selling weapons, or producing heroin anymore.  Nuclear strike is not something you get to trot out in a pissing contest.  The consequences of that action or the threat of that action are too severe to be the plaything of a fat, petulant, hyper-privileged manboy.


thepowerofwordss.files.wordpress.com

But seriously, this is what nuclear armed nations do when they get into pissing matches.  It's normal.  Hell, America has openly postured with nuclear weapons against non-nuclear nations.  America has been leading a global effort to turn the screws on the DPRK leadership in an effort to cause rebellion, making military conquest easier.  This is the logical end-game of the sanctions.

How many times has Fark called for the "glass parking lot" treatment of nations full of tens of millions of people in the middle east?  Feeling threatened because a nuclear-armed nation is posturing against America?  You'll get over it.
2013-03-07 08:51:06 AM
1 votes:

MmmmBacon: GiantRex: Does North Korea even have the ability to launch a nuclear missile as far as Alaska? Let alone the mainland US. I haven't really been paying attention, but I thought that most of their stuff tended to either fizzle or blow up on the launchpad.

No, but they can place bombs in a container ship and make San Francisco harbor useless for quite a while. It would be a "blow against the Imperialist Dogs", symbolic and ultimately deadly to the NK leadership. SF wouldn't be destroyed, but a lot of damage near the bay and probably thousands of sick and injured civilians, deaths under 5000 at most.


Why do you people keep prattling this derpy nonsense.

"Omg NK might send a container ship to San Francisco! how ever will stop this great menace."

I dunno, our huge navy, satellite surveillance, or one guy with a tug boat and some farking binoculars. Jesus fark this container ship thing you tards keep repeating is the dumbest thing ever.
2013-03-07 08:49:48 AM
1 votes:
LOL.  They aren't even close to having that capability.  It's like a farking yappy dog, quite annoying.
Skr
2013-03-07 08:47:16 AM
1 votes:
So if China invaded North Korea in an attempt to take over... would North Korea still unleash the artillery upon Seoul?

something something classic blunders land war in asia
2013-03-07 08:45:28 AM
1 votes:

MmmmBacon: <b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7630360/82905044#c82905044" target="_blank">GiantRex</a>:</b> <i>Does North Korea even have the ability to launch a nuclear missile as far as Alaska? Let alone the mainland US. I haven't really been paying attention, but I thought that most of their stuff tended to either fizzle or blow up on the launchpad.</i>

No, but they can place bombs in a container ship and make San Francisco harbor useless for quite a while. It would be a "blow against the Imperialist Dogs", symbolic and ultimately deadly to the NK leadership. SF wouldn't be destroyed, but a lot of damage near the bay and probably thousands of sick and injured civilians, deaths under 5000 at most.


What if they have one floating around in space....  Maybe they dug a hole all the way to our mainland.... Wait, maybe they replaced Dennis Rodman with a nuclear robot clone. SHIAT!
2013-03-07 08:41:59 AM
1 votes:
UN ain't got time for no jibba jabba, you moon-faced fool.  Either launch your windup rocket or shut the fark up.
 
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