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(Houston Press)   Female dance instructor charged with eating Humble pie   (blogs.houstonpress.com) divider line 23
    More: Strange, Amanda Feenstra, dance teacher, teachers  
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18758 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2013 at 12:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-07 12:07:24 AM  
12 votes:
♫  THIRTY DAYS IN THE HOLE.... ♫
2013-03-07 01:10:55 AM  
9 votes:
I tried using my elbow to give cunnilingus once and the girl told me she would give me fellatio with her knee if I did it again...
2013-03-07 12:48:14 AM  
7 votes:

farkingismybusiness: [blogs.houstonpress.com image 300x375]
Why the long face?


"The better to eat you with, my dear!"
2013-03-07 12:35:42 AM  
6 votes:
I don't usually read police reports that slowly.
Or twice.
2013-03-07 05:18:15 AM  
3 votes:

Abacus9: Not sure if sarcasm, but a lot of victims don't speak out because they're too scared. It doesn't excuse what the teacher did.


Why are you wasting time here, then?  You need to be at a police station giving depositions and reporting these people!  (I assume since you know about the victims who didn't speak out, you also know about the attackers they didn't speak out against.)

Abacus9: How lazy are you? Just go read the article.


I have tried, but every time I do, my thoughts are hijacked by the lurid, smutty description of their time together.  The scene plays out in my traitorous mind like a 2 AM Cinemax show.

Jennifer was seated on the bed.  Amanda was standing over her, hands on her hips.
"No," Jennifer whispered.  "I came here while your husband was gone to dance."
"Fine," Amanda replied.  I'll teach you a new dance, and you'll do it until I tell you to stop."  Her voice was harsh with authority, but there was a tremor of anticipation lurking below.  She bent down and kissed Jennifer's neck, softly, and felt with her tongue the quickening of the girl's pulse.
"Lay back," she commanded.  Jennifer laid down on the bed.  Amanda straddled her and began moving her hips back and forth.
"Why are you doing that?" Jennifer asked.  "Neither of us can feel barely anything."
"Oh, right," Amanda agreed.  "In that case, take your clothes off.  I'm going to give you cunnilingus."
"I don't understand," Jennifer said.  "How are you going to do that?"
Amanda smiled.  "With my mouth."

Ugh, so disgusting.  I thought it would stop after the first 20 or 25 times, but here I am, reading it for the 52nd time in five hours, and it's just as clear as the first time.  I'm thinking of filing a complaint against this instructor myself.  Why is she, with her former actions, making me think these things when I'm powerless to stop it?
2013-03-07 12:52:44 AM  
3 votes:
I remember when marriage was a holy union between two people who had given up sex. I weep for my country.
2013-03-07 12:44:36 AM  
3 votes:
For someone of her body type, she's surprisingly limber.

1.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-07 12:44:31 AM  
3 votes:
This story is generating a lot of buzz...
2013-03-07 12:27:52 AM  
3 votes:
I don't think anyone is doubting the instructor's commitment to Sparklemotion.
2013-03-07 06:15:09 AM  
2 votes:

Precision Boobery: Jennifer was seated on the bed.  Amanda was standing over her, hands on her hips.
"No," Jennifer whispered.  "I came here while your husband was gone to dance."
"Fine," Amanda replied.  I'll teach you a new dance, and you'll do it until I tell you to stop."  Her voice was harsh with authority, but there was a tremor of anticipation lurking below.  She bent down and kissed Jennifer's neck, softly, and felt with her tongue the quickening of the girl's pulse.
"Lay back," she commanded.  Jennifer laid down on the bed.  Amanda straddled her and began moving her hips back and forth.
"Why are you doing that?" Jennifer asked.  "Neither of us can feel barely anything."
"Oh, right," Amanda agreed.  "In that case, take your clothes off.  I'm going to give you cunnilingus."
"I don't understand," Jennifer said.  "How are you going to do that?"
Amanda smiled.  "With my mouth."


www.gamereplays.org
2013-03-07 12:28:10 AM  
2 votes:

TuteTibiImperes: FTFA:  the defendant used her mouth to give the plaintiff cunnilingus.

There has to be a better way to phrase that.  Is it possible to 'give cunnilingus' with any other part of the body?


I need to think about that for a while. A long, long...,long while.
2013-03-07 11:22:43 AM  
1 votes:

DjangoStonereaver: farkingismybusiness:
[blogs.houstonpress.com image 300x375]

Why the long wide and bloated face?

FTFY


By the look of her face, the other girls' thighs made a lasting impression.

/Squish
2013-03-07 08:37:00 AM  
1 votes:
*looks at picture*


cdn.niketalk.com
2013-03-07 02:21:54 AM  
1 votes:

TuteTibiImperes: deanayer: WAIT, they are both dancers and the word "scissor" doesn't appear once in that story? How lazy are they? Did someone inherit a AA Battery mine or something?

/there goes that pants thing again.

You'd think D-cells would be preferable both from a longevity standpoint as well as adding a pleasant heft to the device, or have vibrating erect penises gone the 'lighter, smaller, thinner' route for no particular reason like so many other electronic devices today?


GREAT now I'm picturing something like a friggin MAGLIGHT. Disclaimer: I dont know shiat about what size batteries go in a dancing lesbian's vibrator!
/If you told me I would write that sentence one day I would have callled BS on you.
2013-03-07 02:01:28 AM  
1 votes:
Half way through that article it suddenly felt like my pants were somehow starting to like, I don't know, shrink, but in like a nice way.
2013-03-07 01:26:43 AM  
1 votes:
Wouldn't be a proper teacher sex story without the wet, sloppy details.  That poor, helpless, defenseless child.  Dance instructors hold so much power over children's futures.  How could she have refused the rapes, which happened more times than she could count, except by going to the police once the excitement dwindled and she was ready to move on?

Public shaming and outrageous bail amounts aren't nearly enough.  Lock this morally bankrupt predator in with the most violent offenders and throw away the key.  And make her pay for the innocent child's therapy, which will probably last a lifetime.
2013-03-07 12:58:36 AM  
1 votes:
Would this count as deFeenstration?
/Of Prague?
2013-03-07 12:47:35 AM  
1 votes:
The cop's writing isn't any worse than "50 Shades" and millions have fapped to that successfully.
2013-03-07 12:39:05 AM  
1 votes:

TuteTibiImperes: FTFA:  the defendant used her mouth to give the plaintiff cunnilingus.

There has to be a better way to phrase that.  Is it possible to 'give cunnilingus' with any other part of the body?


This part got me, too:

The defendant kissed and dry-humped the defendant.

How do you dry-hump yourself?
2013-03-07 12:35:28 AM  
1 votes:
I perform cunnilingus all the time, so I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.
2013-03-07 12:30:14 AM  
1 votes:
blogs.houstonpress.com
Why the long face?
2013-03-07 12:27:28 AM  
1 votes:

staplermofo: Hair Balls blog?
I want to read your news, but you have to meet me halfway, Houston Press.


I thought Hair Balls was an alternate title for this article about countless acts of cunnilingus.
2013-03-06 11:55:14 PM  
1 votes:
Hair Balls blog?
I want to read your news, but you have to meet me halfway, Houston Press.
 
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