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(Houston Press)   Female dance instructor charged with eating Humble pie   (blogs.houstonpress.com) divider line 106
    More: Strange, Amanda Feenstra, dance teacher, teachers  
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18766 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2013 at 12:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-06 11:48:06 PM  
FTFA:  the defendant used her mouth to give the plaintiff cunnilingus.

There has to be a better way to phrase that.  Is it possible to 'give cunnilingus' with any other part of the body?
 
2013-03-06 11:55:14 PM  
Hair Balls blog?
I want to read your news, but you have to meet me halfway, Houston Press.
 
2013-03-07 12:01:06 AM  
"The defendant brought a vibrating erect penis (dildo) and would use the dildo on the complainant."
There is a meaningful difference between a dildo and a vibrator. You would think law enforcement would have this straight.
 
2013-03-07 12:07:24 AM  
♫  THIRTY DAYS IN THE HOLE.... ♫
 
2013-03-07 12:08:41 AM  
The two also had sex in the office of the dancing team, which is known as "The Wild Cadets."

Captain Obvious would like a word with you...
 
2013-03-07 12:27:28 AM  

staplermofo: Hair Balls blog?
I want to read your news, but you have to meet me halfway, Houston Press.


I thought Hair Balls was an alternate title for this article about countless acts of cunnilingus.
 
2013-03-07 12:27:52 AM  
I don't think anyone is doubting the instructor's commitment to Sparklemotion.
 
2013-03-07 12:28:10 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: FTFA:  the defendant used her mouth to give the plaintiff cunnilingus.

There has to be a better way to phrase that.  Is it possible to 'give cunnilingus' with any other part of the body?


I need to think about that for a while. A long, long...,long while.
 
2013-03-07 12:29:22 AM  

IgG4: "The defendant brought a vibrating erect penis (dildo) and would use the dildo on the complainant."
There is a meaningful difference between a dildo and a vibrator. You would think law enforcement would have this straight.


I believe it is still illegal in Texas to possess either a dildo or a vibrator.  Maybe it's just illegal to sell them.  Let me Google "texas dildo law"... here we are from our friends at Wikipedia:

The Obscene Device Law is a Texas statute dealing with obscenity.  In 1973 the Texas Legislature passed Section 43.21 of the Texas Penal Code which, in part, prohibited the sale or promotion of ""Obscene device[s]" mean[ing] a device including a dildo or artificial vagina designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.

Prosecution under the statute was rare but had occurred on occasion. In  Burleson, in 2004, Joanne Webb, a mother of three and a former schoolteacher, faced up to one year in prison for selling a vibrator to two undercover police officers posing as a married couple at a private party. She was later acquitted, and the undercover officers were issued reprimands.


Jeebus, don't they have real crimes to deal with in Texas?
 
2013-03-07 12:30:14 AM  
blogs.houstonpress.com
Why the long face?
 
2013-03-07 12:35:28 AM  
I perform cunnilingus all the time, so I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.
 
2013-03-07 12:35:42 AM  
I don't usually read police reports that slowly.
Or twice.
 
2013-03-07 12:37:46 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: FTFA:  the defendant used her mouth to give the plaintiff cunnilingus.

There has to be a better way to phrase that.  Is it possible to 'give cunnilingus' with any other part of the body?


It's probably just the usual worse-than-youtube-comment writing skills we've come to expect from online "journalism," but I suppose it could have been a deliberate choice on the part of a writer who knew that his audience wouldn't be totally clear on what cunnimalinga...mus... was.
 
2013-03-07 12:39:05 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: FTFA:  the defendant used her mouth to give the plaintiff cunnilingus.

There has to be a better way to phrase that.  Is it possible to 'give cunnilingus' with any other part of the body?


This part got me, too:

The defendant kissed and dry-humped the defendant.

How do you dry-hump yourself?
 
2013-03-07 12:41:31 AM  
I enjoyed the headline.
 
2013-03-07 12:44:31 AM  
This story is generating a lot of buzz...
 
2013-03-07 12:44:36 AM  
For someone of her body type, she's surprisingly limber.

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-07 12:44:44 AM  

semiotix: TuteTibiImperes: FTFA:  the defendant used her mouth to give the plaintiff cunnilingus.

There has to be a better way to phrase that.  Is it possible to 'give cunnilingus' with any other part of the body?

It's probably just the usual worse-than-youtube-comment writing skills we've come to expect from online "journalism," but I suppose it could have been a deliberate choice on the part of a writer who knew that his audience wouldn't be totally clear on what cunnimalinga...mus... was.


More like legalese.  Attorneys have to be stupidly specific when telling a judge what someone did and exactly how they did it.  E.g., the victim was struck, and his skin and flesh in his upper arm were penetrated, by a bullet fired from defendant's gun.
 
2013-03-07 12:47:35 AM  
The cop's writing isn't any worse than "50 Shades" and millions have fapped to that successfully.
 
2013-03-07 12:48:14 AM  

farkingismybusiness: [blogs.houstonpress.com image 300x375]
Why the long face?


"The better to eat you with, my dear!"
 
2013-03-07 12:49:50 AM  

HotWingAgenda: semiotix: TuteTibiImperes: FTFA:  the defendant used her mouth to give the plaintiff cunnilingus.

There has to be a better way to phrase that.  Is it possible to 'give cunnilingus' with any other part of the body?

It's probably just the usual worse-than-youtube-comment writing skills we've come to expect from online "journalism," but I suppose it could have been a deliberate choice on the part of a writer who knew that his audience wouldn't be totally clear on what cunnimalinga...mus... was.

More like legalese.  Attorneys have to be stupidly specific when telling a judge what someone did and exactly how they did it.  E.g., the victim was struck, and his skin and flesh in his upper arm were penetrated, by a bullet fired from defendant's gun.




Ok, that makes some sense, but the only definition of cunnilingus I'm familiar with includes mouth on genital contact. As to a second point, it's all writing style, but it doesn't sound right to me to 'give cunnilingus'. You can give head, or give a blowjob, but you 'perform' cunnilingus or fellatio.
 
2013-03-07 12:50:43 AM  
I feel like there might some information missing from this story. I also feel like some of the information presented in the story, namely the victim's statements, is a bit suspect. Might just be my cynicism showing though.

/Meh, I'd hit it.
 
2013-03-07 12:52:04 AM  

Rodeodoc: IgG4: "The defendant brought a vibrating erect penis (dildo) and would use the dildo on the complainant."
There is a meaningful difference between a dildo and a vibrator. You would think law enforcement would have this straight.

I believe it is still illegal in Texas to possess either a dildo or a vibrator.  Maybe it's just illegal to sell them.  Let me Google "texas dildo law"... here we are from our friends at Wikipedia:

The Obscene Device Law is a Texas statute dealing with obscenity.  In 1973 the Texas Legislature passed Section 43.21 of the Texas Penal Code which, in part, prohibited the sale or promotion of ""Obscene device[s]" mean[ing] a device including a dildo or artificial vagina designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.

Prosecution under the statute was rare but had occurred on occasion. In  Burleson, in 2004, Joanne Webb, a mother of three and a former schoolteacher, faced up to one year in prison for selling a vibrator to two undercover police officers posing as a married couple at a private party. She was later acquitted, and the undercover officers were issued reprimands.

Jeebus, don't they have real crimes to deal with in Texas?


According to Mrs Bunny, it's illegal to sell Harley-Davidsons in Texas
 
2013-03-07 12:52:44 AM  
I remember when marriage was a holy union between two people who had given up sex. I weep for my country.
 
2013-03-07 12:54:56 AM  
you complain now,
but those were the best days of your life

you idiot.
 
2013-03-07 12:55:47 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: farkingismybusiness: [blogs.houstonpress.com image 300x375]
Why the long face?

"The better to eat you with, my dear!"


And we're done here
 
2013-03-07 12:57:04 AM  

sand_in_my_vagoo: feel like there might some information missing from this story. I also feel like some of the information presented in the story, namely the victim's statements, is a bit suspect. Might just be my cynicism showing though.


I get the same impression. But then, I'm a filthy old man whose reaction is always "so?" whenever I hear about the latest "high school teacher bones 17-year-old" story.

sand_in_my_vagoo: /Meh, I'd hit it.


Even with mugshot effect, she's not bad looking at all. I'd be up in her guts with no shame.
 
2013-03-07 12:58:26 AM  
So the levy wasn't dry.
 
2013-03-07 12:58:35 AM  
I didn't realize "dry hump" was any sort of technical language for a police report.

Way to drain all the fun out of it, pigs...
 
2013-03-07 12:58:36 AM  
Would this count as deFeenstration?
/Of Prague?
 
2013-03-07 01:05:32 AM  

GentlemanJ: Would this count as deFeenstration?
/Of Prague?


Which in turn stars the 30 Year Cunnilingus.
 
2013-03-07 01:06:16 AM  
I mean starts. Starts the 30 Years Cunnilingus.

/it's late, and I'm tired.
 
2013-03-07 01:07:56 AM  
www.spacetimestudios.com
 
2013-03-07 01:09:17 AM  
I guess she was just a fool for a pretty face.
 
2013-03-07 01:10:30 AM  
No pics of the husband?
 
2013-03-07 01:10:55 AM  
I tried using my elbow to give cunnilingus once and the girl told me she would give me fellatio with her knee if I did it again...
 
2013-03-07 01:19:21 AM  

sand_in_my_vagoo: I feel like there might some information missing from this story. I also feel like some of the information presented in the story, namely the victim's statements, is a bit suspect. Might just be my cynicism showing though.

/Meh, I'd hit it.


Well, given the suspect's story, the first thing the police likely asked was to see her text history. Once those are verified it would be an easy warrent. If that's the case, the teacher is screwed. Figuratively, of course. Until the prison shower scene, anyway.

/bunk
 
2013-03-07 01:26:43 AM  
Wouldn't be a proper teacher sex story without the wet, sloppy details.  That poor, helpless, defenseless child.  Dance instructors hold so much power over children's futures.  How could she have refused the rapes, which happened more times than she could count, except by going to the police once the excitement dwindled and she was ready to move on?

Public shaming and outrageous bail amounts aren't nearly enough.  Lock this morally bankrupt predator in with the most violent offenders and throw away the key.  And make her pay for the innocent child's therapy, which will probably last a lifetime.
 
2013-03-07 01:31:28 AM  

mrEdude: you complain now,
but those were the best days of your life

you idiot.


That would be true if it was a teenage male, but this article is about a female. She'll have no trouble finding someone to fark her.
 
2013-03-07 01:33:35 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-07 01:34:36 AM  

Rodeodoc: IgG4: "The defendant brought a vibrating erect penis (dildo) and would use the dildo on the complainant."
There is a meaningful difference between a dildo and a vibrator. You would think law enforcement would have this straight.

I believe it is still illegal in Texas to possess either a dildo or a vibrator.  Maybe it's just illegal to sell them.  Let me Google "texas dildo law"... here we are from our friends at Wikipedia:

The Obscene Device Law is a Texas statute dealing with obscenity.  In 1973 the Texas Legislature passed Section 43.21 of the Texas Penal Code which, in part, prohibited the sale or promotion of ""Obscene device[s]" mean[ing] a device including a dildo or artificial vagina designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.

Prosecution under the statute was rare but had occurred on occasion. In  Burleson, in 2004, Joanne Webb, a mother of three and a former schoolteacher, faced up to one year in prison for selling a vibrator to two undercover police officers posing as a married couple at a private party. She was later acquitted, and the undercover officers were issued reprimands.

Jeebus, don't they have real crimes to deal with in Texas?


The question is, who on the police force or local county council did Webb piss off? Those laws are the ones that get drug out when someone blows a whistle on the good ol boy network.

"Report me for corruption? Enjoy 1-3 in lockup for doing it up the butt with your wife. "
 
2013-03-07 01:34:42 AM  
Court documents say the two became friendly, to the point where the student would spend the night in Feenstra's guest room.

Where the Hell are this girl's parents?  When I was in high school, there's no way I could have spent the night outside of my home without my parents knowing where I was.  If I said, "I'm going to stay at Mr. Smith's house", Mr. Smith would find himself the focus of a whole lot of scrutiny.  Same if it was Ms. Smith.
 
2013-03-07 01:44:02 AM  

JesusJuice: mrEdude: you complain now,
but those were the best days of your life

you idiot.

That would be true if it was a teenage male, but this article is about a female. She'll have no trouble finding someone to fark her.


Yeah, but finding a dedicated part-time lesbian's tender oral mercies may prove more difficult to do.  Meh...her body, her choice.

/wouldn't mind teaching the teacher a few lessons...
 
2013-03-07 01:50:58 AM  

calbert: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 504x375]


Never saw that one before, it ranks right up there with the cork soaker bit.
 
2013-03-07 02:01:28 AM  
Half way through that article it suddenly felt like my pants were somehow starting to like, I don't know, shrink, but in like a nice way.
 
2013-03-07 02:01:46 AM  

Rodeodoc: IgG4: "The defendant brought a vibrating erect penis (dildo) and would use the dildo on the complainant."
There is a meaningful difference between a dildo and a vibrator. You would think law enforcement would have this straight.

I believe it is still illegal in Texas to possess either a dildo or a vibrator.  Maybe it's just illegal to sell them.  Let me Google "texas dildo law"... here we are from our friends at Wikipedia:

The Obscene Device Law is a Texas statute dealing with obscenity.  In 1973 the Texas Legislature passed Section 43.21 of the Texas Penal Code which, in part, prohibited the sale or promotion of ""Obscene device[s]" mean[ing] a device including a dildo or artificial vagina designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.

Prosecution under the statute was rare but had occurred on occasion. In  Burleson, in 2004, Joanne Webb, a mother of three and a former schoolteacher, faced up to one year in prison for selling a vibrator to two undercover police officers posing as a married couple at a private party. She was later acquitted, and the undercover officers were issued reprimands.

Jeebus, don't they have real crimes to deal with in Texas?


Penal Code, uh huh huh. Actually, it looks like they can be sold as long as they're marketed for other purposes. Goes right along with history on that.
 
2013-03-07 02:05:53 AM  
WAIT, they are both dancers and the word "scissor" doesn't appear once in that story? How lazy are they? Did someone inherit a AA Battery mine or something?

/there goes that pants thing again.
 
2013-03-07 02:06:31 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: FTFA:  the defendant used her mouth to give the plaintiff cunnilingus.


IgG4: There is a meaningful difference between a dildo and a vibrator. You would think law enforcement would have this straight.


fusillade762: How do you dry-hump yourself?


All excellent points, and I was wondering myself.

semiotix: It's probably just the usual worse-than-youtube-comment writing skills we've come to expect from online "journalism," but I suppose it could have been a deliberate choice on the part of a writer who knew that his audience wouldn't be totally clear on what cunnimalinga...mus... was.


^This^. I made a similar comment yesterday about an article which stated that the left side of a building collapsed. Seriously? It's the only side that's not left.
 
2013-03-07 02:07:19 AM  
dancing queen....only 17
i.huffpost.com
 
2013-03-07 02:09:42 AM  

deanayer: WAIT, they are both dancers and the word "scissor" doesn't appear once in that story? How lazy are they? Did someone inherit a AA Battery mine or something?

/there goes that pants thing again.


You'd think D-cells would be preferable both from a longevity standpoint as well as adding a pleasant heft to the device, or have vibrating erect penises gone the 'lighter, smaller, thinner' route for no particular reason like so many other electronic devices today?
 
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