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(Slate)   Man hides his dark, terrifying secret from his wife until after marriage, and now she doesn't know how to cope with a man addicted to video games   (slate.com) divider line 354
    More: Silly, Emily Yoffe, Kid A, online games, fictional world, imaginary worlds, video games  
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14250 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Mar 2013 at 3:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-06 02:16:47 PM
He spends several hours a week (10-20) playing these online games!

Wow, this guy needs to talk to a divorce lawyer ASAP.  That woman is crazy
 
2013-03-06 02:23:48 PM
Maybe you should try and get involved with his activity instead of acting like a passive-agressive biatch.

CSB: I kinda hid my gaming from my girlfriend when we first started dating. Never turned it on or talked about any of the games I bought because I figured she didn't care. About 3 months in we're watching TV and she asks "Why don't you ever turn on your Xbox?" I told her it was because I figured she didn't like it. She then asks what games I play and wanted to try one out herself. I had her play Mass Effect. She didn't really get the shooting down too much (has a bad habit of only using one thumb at a time, so she'd run forward, stop turn, stop, run forward, etc.) but eventually got the hang of it and fell in love with the story. She's currently a Lvl 37 Commander on ME2 and loves telling people that (She hates that stuck-up biatch Miranda). We alternate playing now, do co-op, she uses the Kinect to exercise, got into PC gaming a little bit, mainly playing Sims, but started playing Fallout: NV recently.

/CSB
 
2013-03-06 02:28:35 PM
Huh, someone else down the page gave the same answer I did:

Q. Re: Husband's Gaming: My husband did this early in our relationship as well. I took a different tactic ... I joined him. That way we spent time together and I learned something new about myself as well. Sometimes it takes giving a little to get a little.

A: This is an excellent alternative. Thanks.
 
2013-03-06 02:29:32 PM

scottydoesntknow: Maybe you should try and get involved with his activity instead of acting like a passive-agressive biatch.

CSB: I kinda hid my gaming from my girlfriend when we first started dating. Never turned it on or talked about any of the games I bought because I figured she didn't care. About 3 months in we're watching TV and she asks "Why don't you ever turn on your Xbox?" I told her it was because I figured she didn't like it. She then asks what games I play and wanted to try one out herself. I had her play Mass Effect. She didn't really get the shooting down too much (has a bad habit of only using one thumb at a time, so she'd run forward, stop turn, stop, run forward, etc.) but eventually got the hang of it and fell in love with the story. She's currently a Lvl 37 Commander on ME2 and loves telling people that (She hates that stuck-up biatch Miranda). We alternate playing now, do co-op, she uses the Kinect to exercise, got into PC gaming a little bit, mainly playing Sims, but started playing Fallout: NV recently.

/CSB


She sounds like a keeper.  Or a fatty.
 
2013-03-06 02:46:17 PM

serial_crusher: scottydoesntknow: Maybe you should try and get involved with his activity instead of acting like a passive-agressive biatch.

CSB: I kinda hid my gaming from my girlfriend when we first started dating. Never turned it on or talked about any of the games I bought because I figured she didn't care. About 3 months in we're watching TV and she asks "Why don't you ever turn on your Xbox?" I told her it was because I figured she didn't like it. She then asks what games I play and wanted to try one out herself. I had her play Mass Effect. She didn't really get the shooting down too much (has a bad habit of only using one thumb at a time, so she'd run forward, stop turn, stop, run forward, etc.) but eventually got the hang of it and fell in love with the story. She's currently a Lvl 37 Commander on ME2 and loves telling people that (She hates that stuck-up biatch Miranda). We alternate playing now, do co-op, she uses the Kinect to exercise, got into PC gaming a little bit, mainly playing Sims, but started playing Fallout: NV recently.

/CSB

She sounds like a keeper.  Or a fatty.


Let me just say god bless those Kinect workout games. She always looked great, but damn those things work you out and she loves it.

And yea definitely a keeper. I'll tell you though, you learn a lot by watching the decisions people make in games. She's the sweetest person I've ever known IRL, but put her behind a controller and she will digitally biatch slap anyone she can. She's a full renegade Shep and is only nice to Jacob (although she doesn't know he dumps her and knocks a biatch up between ME2 & 3) and Garrus. She also likes Grunt because he's a badass and he reminds her of Wrex ("Shepard").
 
2013-03-06 02:49:48 PM
He's not out getting drunk or arrested. He's not cheating on her. He's not stroking off to porn instead of her. He's not even abusing her or beating the shiat out of her. He's playing a video game 10-20 hours a week. When I stopped drinking I started playing video games to give me something to do, and I play approximately that much. Never in your life have you seen a woman more thrilled about that than my wife.

She needs to get a grip. She probably watches more TV or reads more than that every week. What's the difference?
 
2013-03-06 03:00:23 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: What's the difference?


Video games are evil, duh
 
2013-03-06 03:02:46 PM
Wah, why can't we just ignore each other in front of the TV like every other couple!?!?!
 
2013-03-06 03:17:52 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: He's not even abusing her or beating the shiat out of her.


Yeesh, you give an inch, they take a mile, amirite?
 
2013-03-06 03:26:25 PM
lh4.ggpht.com
 
2013-03-06 03:27:15 PM
I'm confused, what's the problem here?...is he beating her with the game console?
 
2013-03-06 03:27:15 PM
Wow what a loon -- 10 hours a week of alone time and she has to control how he spends it?

My CSB time: I met my wife because my guild banned me from raiding for a few weeks, so I went out into the real world. There was a period while dating when my wife would play on my account (a rogue), and the day she found out one of our friends played a warlock and announced her disgust, I was proud.
 
2013-03-06 03:32:31 PM
I'm not willing to leave him over it; how can I get him to stop or change my own attitude to accept it? (For clarification, I have no suspicions of any online infidelity-it just bothers me that he spends his leisure time gaming instead of reading a book, watching TV with me, etc.)

You could pick up a controller every once in a while, rather than sitting on your ass watching TV, you know.
 
2013-03-06 03:33:34 PM

serial_crusher: Adolf Oliver Nipples: He's not even abusing her or beating the shiat out of her.

Yeesh, you give an inch, they take a mile, amirite?


I was merely pointing out that what she's worked up about is the polar opposite of abuse, nothing more.
 
2013-03-06 03:39:47 PM
When he first disclosed this after the honeymoon

This is why you live together first.
 
2013-03-06 03:40:10 PM
What's his Fark handle?
 
2013-03-06 03:40:13 PM
How do gamers ever spend enough time away from a TV to form a relationship and get married?
 
2013-03-06 03:41:27 PM
I met Lordfortuna through match.com, but we first 'met' in WoW before having a real life meeting. We play lots of games together, except for lately I'm playing Halo 4 and he hates console shooters, so he's not entirely happy about it, but he'll get over it.

Lady needs to either accept his hobby, join him, or he needs to get out. 10-20 hours a week is not 'addict' level, it's probably just slightly over what most people put into whatever they're interested in during a week..
 
2013-03-06 03:41:47 PM
Playing video games was one of my ex wife's complaints. Hey i don't mind if you want to watch teenmomhoardercelebrityinterventionrehab, so don't get pissy when i play a game when you do...
 
2013-03-06 03:42:20 PM

scottydoesntknow: Huh, someone else down the page gave the same answer I did:

Q. Re: Husband's Gaming: My husband did this early in our relationship as well. I took a different tactic ... I joined him. That way we spent time together and I learned something new about myself as well. Sometimes it takes giving a little to get a little.

A: This is an excellent alternative. Thanks.


I've known several couples that compromised like this, but unfortunately, my brother wasn't one of them.  He couldn't get his wife on board, so he had to basically give up gaming.  He had a really rough time of it at first, but I think he's over it now.

As for (single) me, gaming still occupies the majority of my free time.
 
2013-03-06 03:43:29 PM
I'm sure there's plenty of women who wish their husband's only flaw was "he plays video games 10-20 hours a week" holy shiat
 
2013-03-06 03:43:47 PM
We're sorry he can't do something more civilized like guzzle beer and howl at sports games.

Or simply watch television.

I don't approve of your hobbies because I think they're boring, childish, and beneath me. So you should have to stop doing them because I say so.
 
2013-03-06 03:44:27 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-06 03:44:27 PM
This guy needs a boss laptop and a bar with WiFi.
 
2013-03-06 03:44:28 PM
She wishes he'd watch more TV instead? Because passively staring at a screen is so much better, right?

Really says something for the sad state of things when watching TV is considered doing something together.
 
2013-03-06 03:44:37 PM
This woman seriously needs to talk to someone who has dealt with someone who has a serious addiction to video games. I was with a guy who slowly devolved over the four years I lived with him. At first he played more than I expected, which wasn't that big of a deal. We still did things together. Over time, it got to a point where he couldn't hold down a job anymore. I could go days without speaking to him because he was so busy raiding. He turned down sex repeatedly and the rare times we had it at all, it was entirely hate-farking on my part. He spent days on that computer, neglecting himself, me, the apartment. My complaints fell on deaf ears, once in awhile he would encourage me to join him. The guy literally did not realize he was destroying his relationship and was utterly shocked when I finally broke it off. It still bothers me to this day and while I did date another guy who was into online role playing games, I couldn't move forward because the experience wouldn't leave my mind. That's sad and honestly, she should be delighted he only plays 10 hrs a week. That shiat can destroy lives.
 
2013-03-06 03:44:39 PM
FTA My husband and I married a few years ago after just months of knowing each other

there's your farking problem dumbass
 
2013-03-06 03:44:40 PM
Workout a resolution... say trade a little more anal time for a little less game time

/ sounds resonable
 
2013-03-06 03:44:55 PM
There are plenty of other habits that could be in place of 'video games' here. What if the guy was a gearhead and liked to work on his project car every day?

10-20 hours a week is equivalent to about 1.5-3 hours per day. It'd be like watching a movie or a ballgame every evening. That's really not so much.
 
2013-03-06 03:45:25 PM

ladyfortuna: I met Lordfortuna through match.com, but we first 'met' in WoW before having a real life meeting. We play lots of games together, except for lately I'm playing Halo 4 and he hates console shooters, so he's not entirely happy about it, but he'll get over it.


For his next birthday:
http://www.amazon.com/Eagle-Mouse-Keyboard-Converter-Playstation-3/d p/ B0040UAYI4
 
2013-03-06 03:45:53 PM
It's certainly possible to balance work, marriage, kids, and video games. Just be ready to accept that you're going to be reviled as a "casual gamer" in any hardcore gamer community.
 
2013-03-06 03:46:21 PM
...now she doesn't know how to cope with a man addicted to video games

gawd, had to fix that for myself.
 
2013-03-06 03:46:40 PM

falcon176: I'm sure there's plenty of women who wish their husband's only flaw was "he plays video games 10-20 hours a week" holy shiat


Chances are that is not the only flaw. Others are probably obesity, quick temper, flatulence, and neglect.
 
2013-03-06 03:47:59 PM

jennies1897: This woman seriously needs to talk to someone who has dealt with someone who has a serious addiction to video games. I was with a guy who slowly devolved over the four years I lived with him. At first he played more than I expected, which wasn't that big of a deal. We still did things together. Over time, it got to a point where he couldn't hold down a job anymore. I could go days without speaking to him because he was so busy raiding. He turned down sex repeatedly and the rare times we had it at all, it was entirely hate-farking on my part. He spent days on that computer, neglecting himself, me, the apartment. My complaints fell on deaf ears, once in awhile he would encourage me to join him. The guy literally did not realize he was destroying his relationship and was utterly shocked when I finally broke it off. It still bothers me to this day and while I did date another guy who was into online role playing games, I couldn't move forward because the experience wouldn't leave my mind. That's sad and honestly, she should be delighted he only plays 10 hrs a week. That shiat can destroy lives.


So... You're single?
 
2013-03-06 03:48:52 PM

Theaetetus: ladyfortuna: I met Lordfortuna through match.com, but we first 'met' in WoW before having a real life meeting. We play lots of games together, except for lately I'm playing Halo 4 and he hates console shooters, so he's not entirely happy about it, but he'll get over it.

For his next birthday:
http://www.amazon.com/Eagle-Mouse-Keyboard-Converter-Playstation-3/ d p/ B0040UAYI4


I do not think you thought this cunning plan all the way through.
 
2013-03-06 03:48:59 PM

jennies1897: This woman seriously needs to talk to someone who has dealt with someone who has a serious addiction to video games. I was with a guy who slowly devolved over the four years I lived with him. At first he played more than I expected, which wasn't that big of a deal. We still did things together. Over time, it got to a point where he couldn't hold down a job anymore. I could go days without speaking to him because he was so busy raiding. He turned down sex repeatedly and the rare times we had it at all, it was entirely hate-farking on my part. He spent days on that computer, neglecting himself, me, the apartment. My complaints fell on deaf ears, once in awhile he would encourage me to join him. The guy literally did not realize he was destroying his relationship and was utterly shocked when I finally broke it off. It still bothers me to this day and while I did date another guy who was into online role playing games, I couldn't move forward because the experience wouldn't leave my mind. That's sad and honestly, she should be delighted he only plays 10 hrs a week. That shiat can destroy lives.


So can drugs, booze, eating, gambling, women, disease and Fark,
 
2013-03-06 03:49:06 PM

NightSteel: There are plenty of other habits that could be in place of 'video games' here. What if the guy was a gearhead and liked to work on his project car every day?


Not really. Video games are one of the few "hobbies" that doesn't require you to get off your ass. Hell, even the MTG and D&D people have to go to someone house and interact.
 
2013-03-06 03:49:41 PM

falcon176: I'm sure there's plenty of women who wish their husband's only flaw was "he plays video games 10-20 hours a week" holy shiat


It's the joke about the Husband Store.

Just as the saying for men goes "There's no woman so beautiful that some man, somewhere, isn't sick of putting up with her shiat," there's no man so well adjusted and responsible that there's not a woman out there who won't complain about him.
 
2013-03-06 03:49:53 PM
I posted a response to this on her facebook yesterday, here it is.

"That marriage is never going to work because she wants to control him and change him. It sounds like she's already made him quit smoking and quit drinking energy drinks, she's not going to stop trying to change him into what she wants. Unfortunately I think this is the attitude of many people now and it's why a lot of relationships don't work. People may change themselves over time but trying to force change in them will only force you apart. Also, from personal experience, gamers should date gamers, nobody else is going to understand your hobby. "
 
2013-03-06 03:50:37 PM
Make the real world you're both in more pleasant and vow that you will drop your commentary about his habit for three months. Then see if your marriage and your life haven't improved.

Or show you that your husband actually likes his past time and no amount of deception will change this.
 
2013-03-06 03:50:52 PM
Man, I wonder how she would react to an independent game developer.

I can't even believe what an angel my wife is about it. It is my primary hobby and when I get home from work, I spend almost ALL my time on my computer. Some weekends I start at 8:30am and don't stop till 2:00am.

Gotta find the right woman ...or none at all. Being lonely is better than the alternative, period.
 
2013-03-06 03:51:09 PM

Gifted Many Few: Not really. Video games are one of the few "hobbies" that doesn't require you to get off your ass.


Actually, most hobbies are like that. The ones which involve physical activity are usually called sports.
 
2013-03-06 03:51:10 PM

serial_crusher: He spends several hours a week (10-20) playing these online games!

Wow, this guy needs to talk to a divorce lawyer ASAP.  That woman is crazy


I just have one thing to say to this guy.

Amateur.

Married, two kids, and we play video games together.

Also, Munchkin.

//The kids aren't old enough yet for Cards Against Humanity
 
2013-03-06 03:51:38 PM
10-20 hours a week? pfft. Amateur. Call me when he's playing 10-20 hours a day!


/3 years on the wagon.
 
2013-03-06 03:51:41 PM
Fiance and I met at manual transmission class in college. Didn't know he was a gamer. I'm mostly a PC gamer (Sims, Counter-Striker, Alpha Centauri, EVE, Diablo II), he's mostly console. For Xmas I bought him Assassin's Creed 3 for Xbox (which I'm currently trying to get 100% syncro on just the regular game) and for his birthday he got Crysis 2 for PC. He pretty much lets me hog the computer while he hogs the Xbox.

Honestly, in a good relationship, you both should at least get a superficial knowledge of the other's interests. My fiance has influenced my interests in music and console gaming, and he's more interested now in books and science fiction and politics. Enough differences to keep it interesting, enough similarities you have something to talk about.
 
2013-03-06 03:51:41 PM
lh3.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-03-06 03:51:47 PM

Plant Rights Activist: Theaetetus: ladyfortuna: I met Lordfortuna through match.com, but we first 'met' in WoW before having a real life meeting. We play lots of games together, except for lately I'm playing Halo 4 and he hates console shooters, so he's not entirely happy about it, but he'll get over it.

For his next birthday:
http://www.amazon.com/Eagle-Mouse-Keyboard-Converter-Playstation-3/ d p/ B0040UAYI4

I do not think you thought this cunning plan all the way through.


Well, she doesn't want him to be better than her, does she?
 
2013-03-06 03:52:04 PM
I'd wager most people watch more than 10 hours of tv a week, but we don't call them tv addicts.  At least video games are interactive and have been proven to stimulate and improve parts of the mind and physical coordination.  Conclusion: she's a stupid biatch.
 
2013-03-06 03:52:12 PM
Are we just going to green every Dear Prudence column?  Is this about to become "featured content"??
 
2013-03-06 03:53:10 PM
  I love how Prudence told her that maybe if she stopped being such a typical spoiled, self-centered' narcissitic white north american female biatch and made his life more pleasant in the real world maybe he would stop running to hide in the digital one. I may have paraphrased a tad.

  Here's my csb. Met a nice young lady 14 yrs my junior playing halo pc back in '04. Things went well and she moved from B.C. to Alberta to be with me. While visiting her family, her bro introduced me to WOW. I started playing that and she refused to join me, constantly complained about the time I spent online. I eventually got mad at her and pointed out that we met online playing a damn game, did she expect me to just stop my favorite past time because she moved in!? Of course she did, sent her silly ass packing a week later.
 
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