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(The Cambridge Chronicle)   If you're dumb enough to waste your time stealing two cans of PBR by shoving them down your pants, you're probably dumb enough to claim that they're really your penis   (wickedlocal.com) divider line 46
    More: Dumbass, Pabst Blue Ribbon, genitals  
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3691 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Mar 2013 at 3:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-06 02:16:46 PM
farm4.staticflickr.com 

Foster's - Australian for cock
 
2013-03-06 03:07:29 PM
Dumbass hipster is dumbass.
 
2013-03-06 03:09:38 PM
[spinal_tap_salami.jpg]
 
2013-03-06 03:12:44 PM
I hate going to 7-11. They always stare.
 
2013-03-06 03:13:20 PM
Two cans?  One can I've tried, but two...?
 
2013-03-06 03:16:30 PM
Now it says article is no longer available.
 
2013-03-06 03:16:47 PM
I guess the "aha moment" was when he threw half of his penis at her...
 
2013-03-06 03:16:58 PM
blogs.ajc.com
 
2013-03-06 03:17:50 PM

Porndip Poonpat: Now it says article is no longer available.


Works now.
 
2013-03-06 03:18:36 PM
Well, everyone knows the ladies love cold penis.
 
2013-03-06 03:21:55 PM
tallryan.files.wordpress.com


Works every time!
 
2013-03-06 03:22:54 PM
blogs.riverfronttimes.com
 
2013-03-06 03:23:28 PM

rkiller1: Porndip Poonpat: Now it says article is no longer available.

Works now.


Not for me. Much like PBR, it's a multiple refreshment bust.
 
2013-03-06 03:23:44 PM
Penis Blue Ribbon, now with significant shrinkage.
 
2013-03-06 03:24:17 PM

rkiller1: Two cans?


www.lostinthebeeraisle.com /friends don't let friends drink PBR when Guinness is available
 
2013-03-06 03:25:32 PM
Mmmmm, penus butter.

cdn.foodbeast.com.s3.amazonaws.com

/I misread that didn't I
 
2013-03-06 03:26:34 PM
Thing about PBR is that you gotta let it warm up a bit so the flavors can really start to express themselves. Its only then you can really TASTE the corn.

Mmmmm.....

mealy
 
2013-03-06 03:26:42 PM
A Medford citizen? They should have shot hi, just on general principle.
 
2013-03-06 03:29:43 PM
Better it should have been Falstaff (false staff).
 
2013-03-06 03:30:54 PM

rkiller1: Porndip Poonpat: Now it says article is no longer available.

Works now.


Weird. Still doesn't work for me.

Oh well from the headline I kind of got the gist of it.

I also noticed that Fark has a subject category for genitals. Heh.
 
2013-03-06 03:33:07 PM

skinink: A Medford citizen? They should have shot hi, just on general principle.


images.zap2it.com

Medford Man, Jackson (Porter Hall) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0036775/
/Too obscure?
 
2013-03-06 03:34:21 PM
My penis is bigger than two cans of PBR so I'm getting a real kick out of some of these posts....
 
2013-03-06 03:36:41 PM
This is one of those times when a warm PBR is preferable.
 
2013-03-06 03:38:28 PM
CSB - my friend and I got pulled over while drinking and driving (we were only 18) we managed to hide 3 open Bud Light long necks in our inside coat pockets while they checked our car then sent us on our way.

/stupid cops
 
2013-03-06 03:44:41 PM
For those that can't get to the article...

Police arrested a 26-year-old Medford man after he reportedly stole two cans of beer, told a woman that the cans were his penis and then threw one of the cans at her. Jonathan Scull of 50 Newbern Ave. was charged with threat to commit a crime, assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, shoplifting by concealment and resisting arrest.

Police responded on Feb. 26 at 6:57 p.m. to Woody's Liquors on Broadway for a report of assault. A female employee told police she saw a man, later identified as Scull put two cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon down his pants and leave the store. She followed him onto Broadway and asked him why he had a bulge in his pant leg around his ankle. He replied, "It's my [genitals]!" The woman said she pointed out that the bulge around his ankle was clearly not his genitals. The man then threw a beer can at her head and fled down William Street into Medford.

Police caught up with Scull in Medford, where Scull reportedly told them that since they weren't in Somerville, his actions at the liquor store were none of their business and they should "f--- off." Police said Scull refused to be handcuffed and screamed obscenities as three officers tackled him. He reportedly told officers that if they removed his handcuffs he would "kick the s--- out of them," and that he would have killed them if they didn't have badges.
 
2013-03-06 03:44:43 PM
Seesh, PBRs are just $6 something at Fiesta for a 6pkg!

/why yes, I drink PBR
 
2013-03-06 03:45:43 PM
hehe, poors
 
2013-03-06 03:52:17 PM
PBR is good for slug bait and that's all.
 
2013-03-06 03:54:18 PM
Wait, shoving 2 cans of SR211 down my pants has been great for my social life, why should I stop now?

/thick & steely.
 
2013-03-06 03:58:54 PM
Woody's Liquor?
You people are slippin'.
 
2013-03-06 04:04:54 PM
Stories lke this make me glad I don't drink.
 
2013-03-06 04:14:23 PM

pi8you: For those that can't get to the article...

Police arrested a 26-year-old Medford man after he reportedly stole two cans of beer, told a woman that the cans were his penis and then threw one of the cans at her. Jonathan Scull of 50 Newbern Ave. was charged with threat to commit a crime, assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, shoplifting by concealment and resisting arrest.

Police responded on Feb. 26 at 6:57 p.m. to Woody's Liquors on Broadway for a report of assault. A female employee told police she saw a man, later identified as Scull put two cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon down his pants and leave the store. She followed him onto Broadway and asked him why he had a bulge in his pant leg around his ankle. He replied, "It's my [genitals]!" The woman said she pointed out that the bulge around his ankle was clearly not his genitals. The man then threw a beer can at her head and fled down William Street into Medford.

Police caught up with Scull in Medford, where Scull reportedly told them that since they weren't in Somerville, his actions at the liquor store were none of their business and they should "f--- off." Police said Scull refused to be handcuffed and screamed obscenities as three officers tackled him. He reportedly told officers that if they removed his handcuffs he would "kick the s--- out of them," and that he would have killed them if they didn't have badges.


That... was awesome..

Clearly a man who just stop giving a fark and stuck it to the man!

If there is any type of gumption i love, its redneck gumption.

Its like an episode of Reno 911 come to life!
 
2013-03-06 04:16:01 PM
totalfratmove.com

No seriously officer, my wang is THIS long, or is that the girth. I forget which.
 
2013-03-06 04:27:15 PM
 
2013-03-06 04:36:58 PM
twimg0-a.akamaihd.net

/it's detachable
 
2013-03-06 04:39:07 PM
This is why I only steal airline liquor bottles.  I can sell THAT bulge.
 
2013-03-06 04:57:09 PM
Sounds like he was trying to pull the move from Kids, but he didn't have a partner.

/He said this dick motherfarker, don't you speak English?
 
2013-03-06 05:10:25 PM

Cerebral Knievel: Thing about PBR is that you gotta let it warm up a bit so the flavors can really start to express themselves. Its only then you can really TASTE the corn.

Mmmmm.....

mealy


!!! in my teen years my buddy Al would joke about his father placing a single room temperature Schaefer Tall Boy can on the stove while mom fixed dinner so it was just the right temperature when the ball game came on.
 
2013-03-06 05:20:05 PM
i306.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-06 05:22:33 PM
s3.amazonaws.com

Yeah, my dick, wanna see it?
 
2013-03-06 07:52:41 PM
So, our takeaway from that article was that the dude was having a really rough day, and that all he needed to do was chill with a PBR or two.
 
2013-03-06 08:00:46 PM
Medford. That's wicked pisser!
 
2013-03-06 08:04:09 PM

SmithHiller: Medford. That's wicked pisser

pissah!
 
2013-03-06 08:09:19 PM
He really should show some self respect and drink them in the restroom like any other down standing individual searching for ill-gotten booty.  From thence he could leave empty panted.
 
2013-03-06 08:45:58 PM

SmithHiller: Medford Medfid. That's wicked pisser!

 
2013-03-07 12:09:29 AM
I was in a fraternity in college.  It had common showers.  Some of the guys started calling me "Two-can."  May have been a slight exaggeration, but it was nice to hear.
 
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