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(The Detroit_News)   How to turn a $16 restaurant check into a felony in one easy step. Not like he was going to tip, anyway   (detroitnews.com) divider line 83
    More: Dumbass, ferndale, Buffalo Wild Wings, prompt corner, felony, skips  
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20935 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Mar 2013 at 3:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-06 02:30:28 PM
$16 at Buffalo Wild Wings?  He obviously didn't have any beers.  And if it weren't for NTN Trivia, I would never go into the shiat hole.
 
2013-03-06 03:09:59 PM
Checks Detroit mug shot. Yep.
 
2013-03-06 03:12:53 PM
That's not my Marlo Stanfield
 
2013-03-06 03:13:14 PM
Wow, and the cops gave him a chance to go back and pay the bill too, after they pulled him over.

Some men, you just can't reach.
 
2013-03-06 03:13:52 PM
FTFA: The officers gave Stanfield an opportunity to pay the bill while discussing the incident alongside his car. However, police say he put the car into gear and yelled obscenities as he sped away.

Dumbass status confirmed.
 
2013-03-06 03:14:30 PM
Ferndale cops have enough free time to run down guys who stiffed BWW $16?
 
2013-03-06 03:16:09 PM

TheXerox: FTFA: The officers gave Stanfield an opportunity to pay the bill while discussing the incident alongside his car. However, police say he put the car into gear and yelled obscenities as he sped away.

Dumbass status confirmed.


That really sealed the deal for me as well.
 
2013-03-06 03:16:50 PM
If Obama had a son, would he look like that?
 
2013-03-06 03:17:40 PM
Subby, the Negro Community sees what you did there, and frowns on your shenanigans.
 
2013-03-06 03:18:56 PM
Stanfield drove up to his house and attempted to run inside, but officers arrested him before he could do so.

Every good criminal knows the rules say if you make it to Home Base the police cannot arrest you.
 
2013-03-06 03:18:59 PM

zorlack7: Wow, and the cops gave him a chance to go back and pay the bill too, after they pulled him over.

Some men, you just can't reach.


... which is the way he wants it ... well, he gets it.
 
2013-03-06 03:20:29 PM

TheXerox: FTFA: The officers gave Stanfield an opportunity to pay the bill while discussing the incident alongside his car. However, police say he put the car into gear and yelled obscenities as he sped away.

Dumbass status confirmed.


tvmedia.ign.com

"I give ONE last chance. Come back with me and pay your bill, and we'll leave it at that."

"FARK YOU!"

"Then I am so so sorry..... this is of your doing. You made this choice, not me. So sorry..."
 
2013-03-06 03:20:37 PM
I hope the judge attaches a gratuity to the amount he must pay back in restitution.
 
2013-03-06 03:20:41 PM

Philip J. Fry: Stanfield drove up to his house and attempted to run inside, but officers arrested him before he could do so.

Every good criminal knows the rules say if you make it to Home Base the police cannot arrest you.


damn it!  good thing i refreshed before pasting.
 
2013-03-06 03:21:31 PM
Seems they have enough police if they can immediately run down someone who didn't pay for 16 dollars worth of wings.
 
2013-03-06 03:22:11 PM
I don't think even I'm so stupid that if a cop stopped my car, that I would take off and head directly home even though the cops have probably got my plate number and have ran it to get my address. At least I don't think I'm that dense.
 
2013-03-06 03:22:20 PM
Wow, and the cops gave him a chance to go back and pay the bill too, after they pulled him over.

Some men, you just can't reach.

... which is the way he wants it ... well, he gets it.


I wish you'd stop being so good to me, Capt'n,
 
2013-03-06 03:23:42 PM
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I'm on the big guy's side.  I hate paying for meals at restaurants.  I hate cooking too, so something has to give.  And he was at a Buffalo Wild Wings - typical nasty deep fried fare.  All restaurants cook with too much grease.  They're trying to kill me, so paying them would be suicide.  I'd rather stand up to them than take the coward's way out.


There's no professional service anymore.  Not since the economy collapsed.  Now all the service jobs are filled with middle aged, entitled white collared pricks who don't think they belong down there licking my boots for a few cents more in tip.  If you were actually good at your former job, you would've be wiping my plates.

Everything is overpriced too.  Two dollars for a fountain drink?  Is there scotch in it or something?  I usually ordered one, accidentally knock it on the floor, and blame the clumsy waiter.  The way I see it, they are stealing from me, so why shouldn't I return the favor?

With pocketbooks so tight these days, it doesn't take much to get your meal comped or at least a free dessert.  I carry a bunch of fake roaches in my pocket to sprinkle in the salad bar.  If they balk at that, then I throw up in the soup.  Hell, I've even shiat under the table and smeared it around with my foot.  And if nothing else, you can usually walk right out the kitchen's back door if you even remotely look like you know what you're doing.  Don't forget to spit in something.

I hate sneaking out though.  I'd rather have the staff confront me.  I put a box cutter up against the throat of a Wendy's manager a few weeks ago.  I smelled piss and it wasn't me.  He gave me free chili just to leave.  I love how baffled people look when they don't get their way.

I get off on it, I guess.  It's pretty damn powerful to walk into a place, eat all the food, and then just walk out.  I think it triggers my inner conquorer.  Make sense, too, because I don't pay for massages either.  I guess it helps that I can do seventy five push-ups (in a row).

Bottom line, they shouldn't be hassling this guy over $16.  And following him to his house and shiat?  Cops are farking stalkers sometimes.  Take it easy, Serpico, it's a plate a hotwings not twenty pounds of the dragon.
 
2013-03-06 03:28:17 PM
From a past tipping thread: academic papers on tipping.
 
2013-03-06 03:28:37 PM

blatz514: $16 at Buffalo Wild Wings?  He obviously didn't have any beers.  And if it weren't for NTN Trivia, I would never go into the shiat hole.


THIS

/forgot to pay the check at BW3 in Slidell, LA once.  Once.  paid up on next visit after sufficient grovelling
//at least they have grilled tenders, which is more than most wings places can claim
///NTN/Buzztime handle is booda
 
2013-03-06 03:30:05 PM
To be fair, it was probably after tip, so he was right in not paying it.
 
2013-03-06 03:30:55 PM
Kudos on the cops for breaking off the chase.
 
2013-03-06 03:31:02 PM
Step 1: Be black.
 
DB
2013-03-06 03:33:00 PM
Not like he was going to tip anyway.

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-06 03:33:46 PM
spentmiles: Bottom line, they shouldn't be hassling this guy over $16.  And following him to his house and shiat?  Cops are farking stalkers sometimes.  Take it easy, Serpico, it's a plate a hotwings not twenty pounds of the dragon.


Oh come on Spent Miles, you aren't afraid of a few cops are you? I thought you were tough?
 
2013-03-06 03:35:16 PM

spentmiles: There's no professional service anymore.


Well said brother!

www.nndb.com
 
2013-03-06 03:37:23 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
Maroon

cmsimg.livingstondaily.com
Ultramaroon
 
2013-03-06 03:45:20 PM

ha-ha-guy: Ferndale cops have enough free time to run down guys who stiffed BWW $16?


It's not unusual for cops in the northern suburbs to chase down minor scofflaws.  They get their speeders on Woodward, and the drunks on the weekends and the odd school bomb threat.  The rest of the time, they rescue kitties from trees.
 
2013-03-06 03:45:58 PM
He was running on a wing and a prayer.
 
2013-03-06 03:46:43 PM

zorlack7: Wow, and the cops gave him a chance to go back and pay the bill too, after they pulled him over.

Some men, you just can't reach.


not only that he tried to run past the police waiting at his house like they wouldn't just follow him inside if he got past them
 
2013-03-06 03:50:24 PM
Golf clap subby.

/extra points if it had been a store front preacher
 
2013-03-06 03:50:50 PM
I do like BW3's Spicy Garlic sauce. I have a bottle of always in the fridge. Yum!
 
2013-03-06 03:55:07 PM
He must have been pissed when he didn't get his entire meal comped for some bullshiat complaint.
 
2013-03-06 03:55:17 PM

falcon176: zorlack7: Wow, and the cops gave him a chance to go back and pay the bill too, after they pulled him over.

Some men, you just can't reach.

not only that he tried to run past the police waiting at his house like they wouldn't just follow him inside if he got past them


He was probably going to run inside and declare "base"
 
2013-03-06 04:03:38 PM

KwameKilstrawberry: ha-ha-guy: Ferndale cops have enough free time to run down guys who stiffed BWW $16?

It's not unusual for cops in the northern suburbs to chase down minor scofflaws.  They get their speeders on Woodward, and the drunks on the weekends and the odd school bomb threat.  The rest of the time, they rescue kitties from trees.


I gotta wonder, how much did they spend on the "chase"? Wouldn't it have been easier to just put up the dude's picture on the hostess' podium and call it a day?
 
2013-03-06 04:05:54 PM

Coolfusis: KwameKilstrawberry: ha-ha-guy: Ferndale cops have enough free time to run down guys who stiffed BWW $16?

It's not unusual for cops in the northern suburbs to chase down minor scofflaws.  They get their speeders on Woodward, and the drunks on the weekends and the odd school bomb threat.  The rest of the time, they rescue kitties from trees.

I gotta wonder, how much did they spend on the "chase"? Wouldn't it have been easier to just put up the dude's picture on the hostess' podium and call it a day?


The article made it sound like the guy just happened by a cop car after the call went out.
 
2013-03-06 04:07:06 PM
What an attractive and successful gentleman.
 
2013-03-06 04:07:20 PM

Craptastic: bottle of always


Hey, thanks for the awesome band name!

/yoink
 
2013-03-06 04:11:47 PM
Stanfeld? Typical cheap Jew
 
2013-03-06 04:11:58 PM
Of all the places to pull this at, the one that has the universe rigged up to the their control room? They pressed one button as he walked out the door and he got a face full of sprinkler filled with bank dye.
 
2013-03-06 04:17:01 PM

thisisyourbrainonFark: zorlack7: Wow, and the cops gave him a chance to go back and pay the bill too, after they pulled him over.

Some men, you just can't reach.

... which is the way he wants it ... well, he gets it.



Niiiice.
 
2013-03-06 04:18:14 PM
CSB

Many years ago, I was a curb waiter for a burger chain.  It wasn't too bad of a gig, but you would run into your share of idiots.  One night, a car with a couple of knuckeheads pulls in and parks so they are pointing toward the exit.  Yeah.  I know what is about to happen, and the company policy at the time frowned on requiring prepayment for the food.  As I approach the car to get the order, I take the license plate on the car.  Idiots place a fairly large order and I go get it.

I take the tray of food out, place on the car and walk back to my station.  I'm not fifteen feet away when I hear the tires squeal.  Our intrepid absconders failed to notice the Cop sitting over in the corner sipping on the free coffee we always supplied him with.  Cop cranks it up and pulls the car over a couple of blocks away.  During the search of the vehicle, 8-10 bindles of Mexican Brown are found.  All because they thought it was funny to skip.

/CSB
 
2013-03-06 04:32:11 PM
Its waitstaff who will lead the next revolution
 
2013-03-06 04:37:36 PM
CSB:

Way back when, I was a manager for a retail chain that shall not be named, we had a shoplifter that got caught at the door, cold-cocked the little LP girl with the amp he was trying to steal, and ran outside right into "Joe", who was loading our truck for delivery. Joe was a BIG boy (about 6', 280) knocked him down and proceeded to (literally) sit on him until the cops got there. Hilarity ensued, just because of the "let me up"-"NOPE"-"let me up"-"NOPE", and the customers loved it..

A few of the managers decided to take Joe out for a beer afterward, and we went down the road to a place called Up The Creek. We drank a few, the bill was $40 or so, and they give you an old-timey handwritten receipt that was slightly bigger than a 4x6 card. My GM puts a $50 underneath it, and we all walk out, getting into our cars.

As we're saying our goodbyes and laughing, this woman comes running out the front door, with two guys behind her, screaming that we didn't pay our bill. WTF?

She marches us back into the place, only to find the $50 bill under the receipt. By this time, everyone is looking at us, and she starts smiling, saying, "Sorry, it's all good" We laid into her, "How the hell can you be a manager at a restaurant when you can't even look on the tray?, etc....Everyone in the place was horrified.
 
2013-03-06 04:39:03 PM

mikaloyd: Its waitstaff who will lead the next revolution


Then they'll need their own waitstaff.  It's never-ending:

dilbert.com

dilbert.com
 
2013-03-06 04:49:08 PM
About 20 minutes later, Stanfield drove up to his house and attempted to run inside, but officers arrested him before he could do so.

He almost made it, too!
/why does the HTML editor suck so much?
 
2013-03-06 04:53:07 PM

Coolfusis: KwameKilstrawberry: ha-ha-guy: Ferndale cops have enough free time to run down guys who stiffed BWW $16?

It's not unusual for cops in the northern suburbs to chase down minor scofflaws.  They get their speeders on Woodward, and the drunks on the weekends and the odd school bomb threat.  The rest of the time, they rescue kitties from trees.

I gotta wonder, how much did they spend on the "chase"? Wouldn't it have been easier to just put up the dude's picture on the hostess' podium and call it a day?


This is a much better ROI.  The city will make more money on a felony.  Not sure why the concern over cops doing their job in a city that has relatively little police activity.
 
2013-03-06 05:07:12 PM
Hmmmm..i thought for sure this would have devolved into a tipping thread by now
 
2013-03-06 05:14:44 PM
The officers gave Stanfield an opportunity to pay the bill while discussing the incident alongside his car. However, police say he put the car into gear and yelled obscenities as he sped away.

You know, if I ever do something stupid enough for the cops to show up, and they show up, and they offer me a no-strings attached alternative to going to the pokey, I'd like to think I would be smart enough and sober enough to take them up on their offer.

His mother must be very proud of him.

/What are you in for? I stiffed $16 check then flipped some cops off.
 
2013-03-06 05:20:17 PM

johnny_vegas: Hmmmm..i thought for sure this would have devolved into a tipping thread by now


there's enough racism and "stupid criminal" to keep us occupied... for now.
 
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