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(YouTube)   A seven-year old boy's reaction to a book about puberty (audio/text Not safe for work)   (youtube.com) divider line 31
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5298 clicks; posted to Video » on 06 Mar 2013 at 9:42 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-06 09:18:47 AM

haha

VAGINAS
 
2013-03-06 09:28:05 AM
Ok, I lol'd.
 
2013-03-06 09:34:17 AM
i.qkme.me
 
2013-03-06 10:24:28 AM
This makes me want to to throw open my office door and yell, "FEMALE BLOOD... AND.... Vaginas", then close the door and continue about my day.
 
2013-03-06 10:26:22 AM
This makes me want to post everything MY kids have done or said on video/audio too!
 
2013-03-06 10:43:08 AM
There is a 100% chance that we have a story about this kids school suspending him for screaming "Vagina's" and "Female Blood" in the lunch room greenlit in the next 72 hours.

The only real mystery will be if its for using a "naughty" word or if the use of the word "blood" is interpreted as a terrorist threat because he was holding the tampon he stole from his mom like a gun while he said it.
 
2013-03-06 10:48:21 AM
When my kid was 7, we were in Epcot at this display called "The Making of Me / Wonders of Life" (or something like that, anyway).  It was about conception, starred Martin Short, and did a fairly decent job of explaining things without being TOO explicit.  There was a little egg in a skirt, sperm racing through tunnels, etc.  I thought it was extremely tasteful, and even beautiful in its own way.  Martin Short did such a fantastic job on it.

So we watched the whole thing, start to finish.  My son was absolutely quiet.  Said not one word through the entire thing.  Afterward, we exited the pod where the movie was playing and I turned to him and asked "is there anything you want me to explain?"  He turned bright red, and in the deepest voice he could muster, he said "Shut up.  Just. Shut. Up." and then wouldn't talk to me or his mom for the rest of the day.   It was so cute.  He's in his late teens now, but we still tease him about it.

(The attraction no longer exists, but for those of you needing to get "the talk" started, here's a link to someone's home video capture of it:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGxcUjaftHc )
 
2013-03-06 11:27:42 AM
Our first son could not pronounce kitty.  He went with loady (load ee). He would go around the house chasing the cat, saying "loady loady loady loady...".  Eventually it some how morphed into dildo. We had family visit one day. He's chasing the cat, yelling "dildo dildo dildo..."

yeah...
 
2013-03-06 11:56:57 AM
My 5-year-old daughter tells me -- I'm a single dad -- all the time in a whisper: "My vagina itches."

I tell her she needs to make sure she wipes after going potty and that she needs to thoroughly wash in the shower.

Then she just stares at me.

When she showers, I stand outside the shower to help if needed, but I always make sure she washes her vagina by herself (I don't need her telling people, "Daddy washes my vagina").

Why am I telling you this?

Because I am not looking forward to her days of female blood and vagina.
 
2013-03-06 11:57:22 AM
VAGINAS!

/FTW
 
2013-03-06 12:35:04 PM
Bagina.
 
2013-03-06 12:37:19 PM

FarkingReading: My 5-year-old daughter tells me -- I'm a single dad -- all the time in a whisper: "My vagina itches."

I tell her she needs to make sure she wipes after going potty and that she needs to thoroughly wash in the shower.

Then she just stares at me.

When she showers, I stand outside the shower to help if needed, but I always make sure she washes her vagina by herself (I don't need her telling people, "Daddy washes my vagina").

Why am I telling you this?

Because I am not looking forward to her days of female blood and vagina.


My daughters are 6 and 4.  I look forward to the days of yelling, "Honey!  The kids need you!" when it comes to this stuff.
 
2013-03-06 12:43:07 PM

pudding7: FarkingReading: My 5-year-old daughter tells me -- I'm a single dad -- all the time in a whisper: "My vagina itches."

I tell her she needs to make sure she wipes after going potty and that she needs to thoroughly wash in the shower.

Then she just stares at me.

When she showers, I stand outside the shower to help if needed, but I always make sure she washes her vagina by herself (I don't need her telling people, "Daddy washes my vagina").

Why am I telling you this?

Because I am not looking forward to her days of female blood and vagina.

My daughters are 6 and 4.  I look forward to the days of yelling, "Honey!  The kids need you!" when it comes to this stuff.


encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-03-06 01:00:44 PM

dsmymfah: Bagina.


My story involves that. My wife left a voicemail for me about 8 years ago when my daughter was 3. She said my daughter had something to tell me and passed the phone to her. Daughter comes on, long pause. Then all she says is "Daddyyyyyy...um.....my bagina hurts." Out of nowhere. Died laughing at my desk. Still have the voicemail.
 
2013-03-06 01:01:42 PM
A bedtime book about puberty. Nuff said.
 
2013-03-06 01:02:50 PM

FarkingReading: My 5-year-old daughter tells me -- I'm a single dad -- all the time in a whisper: "My vagina itches."

I tell her she needs to make sure she wipes after going potty and that she needs to thoroughly wash in the shower.

Then she just stares at me.

When she showers, I stand outside the shower to help if needed, but I always make sure she washes her vagina by herself (I don't need her telling people, "Daddy washes my vagina").

Why am I telling you this?

Because I am not looking forward to her days of female blood and vagina.


Good for you, man.  I give all the credit in the world to single dads taking care of daughters.  Mrs. Nash and I don't have kids yet, and I really, really don't look forward to dealing with that stuff with girls.  I can imagine it would be really easy for a single dad to just ignore that stuff.
 
2013-03-06 01:43:33 PM
FEMALE BLOOD for the BLOOD GOD!

VAGINAS for the VAGINA THRONE!
 
2013-03-06 02:15:00 PM

FarkingReading: My 5-year-old daughter tells me -- I'm a single dad -- all the time in a whisper: "My vagina itches."

I tell her she needs to make sure she wipes after going potty and that she needs to thoroughly wash in the shower.

Then she just stares at me.

When she showers, I stand outside the shower to help if needed, but I always make sure she washes her vagina by herself (I don't need her telling people, "Daddy washes my vagina").

Why am I telling you this?

Because I am not looking forward to her days of female blood and vagina.


While it's not likely, you may want to have her checked for yeast infections.  You can get Diflucan in a pill to cure it, if that's what it is.
 
2013-03-06 02:21:29 PM

NashMcNash: Good for you, man. I give all the credit in the world to single dads taking care of daughters. Mrs. Nash and I don't have kids yet, and I really, really don't look forward to dealing with that stuff with girls. I can imagine it would be really easy for a single dad to just ignore that stuff.


I do give tons of credit to FarkingReading, don't get me wrong... but I dunno, when you become a dad stuff, you used to think you'd have no business doing just becomes another one of those times where you sigh to yourself, roll up your sleeves and do what needs doing.

/Also, for FarkingReading, I've got a daughter myself, are you sure she's not washing it a little too well?  My understanding is that if soap gets up there it can irritate.
//And good on you for being a single dad that's clearly involved in doing what's best for his kid(s).  Married dadism is hard enough, single dadism must be nigh impossible.
 
2013-03-06 02:31:16 PM

FarkingReading: My 5-year-old daughter tells me -- I'm a single dad -- all the time in a whisper: "My vagina itches."

I tell her she needs to make sure she wipes after going potty and that she needs to thoroughly wash in the shower.

Then she just stares at me.

When she showers, I stand outside the shower to help if needed, but I always make sure she washes her vagina by herself (I don't need her telling people, "Daddy washes my vagina").

Why am I telling you this?

Because I am not looking forward to her days of female blood and vagina.


You should probably stop standing outside her shower by that time.
 
2013-03-06 02:35:14 PM

Charlie Chingas: Our first son could not pronounce kitty.  He went with loady (load ee). He would go around the house chasing the cat, saying "loady loady loady loady...".  Eventually it some how morphed into dildo. We had family visit one day. He's chasing the cat, yelling "dildo dildo dildo..."

yeah...


Teaching kids the wrong name for things is fun.
 
2013-03-06 04:03:08 PM

IronOcelot: This makes me want to to throw open my office door and yell, "FEMALE BLOOD... AND.... Vaginas", then close the door and continue about my day.


Please tell me this happened...please?
 
2013-03-06 07:25:40 PM
Well, we know he's not gay.
 
2013-03-06 09:29:27 PM
Gonads and strife.
 
2013-03-06 10:10:26 PM

Uzzah: FEMALE BLOOD for the BLOOD GOD!

VAGINAS for the VAGINA THRONE!


I'm game, where do the worshipers go to make their, um, sacrifices? You know, pay heed and all that?
 
2013-03-06 11:06:07 PM
1) That kid is a future Farker.

2) In college, we used to have comedians every week in the quad. One time, we had a feminist comedienne. At one point, she asked if any guy was brave enough to come up on stage and say, "vaginal secretions." After a few moments of nervous laughter and the dudes up front chickening out, I walked up to the stage, threw back my arms and screamed, "VAGINAL SECRETIONS! I LOVE VAGINAL SECRETIONS!" Alas, still didn't get me laid. :(
 
2013-03-07 10:50:27 AM

glassa: While it's not likely, you may want to have her checked for yeast infections.  You can get Diflucan in a pill to cure it, if that's what it is.


Good for you - men don't know the maintenance plan for that particular model.  Not sure where a single dad would go for advice.
 
2013-03-07 11:25:05 AM

loki see loki do: FarkingReading: My 5-year-old daughter tells me -- I'm a single dad -- all the time in a whisper: "My vagina itches."

I tell her she needs to make sure she wipes after going potty and that she needs to thoroughly wash in the shower.

Then she just stares at me.

When she showers, I stand outside the shower to help if needed, but I always make sure she washes her vagina by herself (I don't need her telling people, "Daddy washes my vagina").

Why am I telling you this?

Because I am not looking forward to her days of female blood and vagina.

You should probably stop standing outside her shower by that time.


Hilarious. Actually laughed at that one. And thanks to everyone else for the advice.
 
2013-03-07 04:14:04 PM

Larva Lump: Gonads and strife.


Aaaaaand, weeeee!
 
2013-03-07 08:07:38 PM

FarkingReading: My 5-year-old daughter tells me -- I'm a single dad -- all the time in a whisper: "My vagina itches."

I tell her she needs to make sure she wipes after going potty and that she needs to thoroughly wash in the shower.

Then she just stares at me.

When she showers, I stand outside the shower to help if needed, but I always make sure she washes her vagina by herself (I don't need her telling people, "Daddy washes my vagina").

Why am I telling you this?

Because I am not looking forward to her days of female blood and vagina.


You might want to teach your daughter that while she can't really wash her vagina she should wash her vulva. She needs to know the proper terms for her private parts.  If she always itches you should bring her to a doctor for a checkup. It is not unheard of for even small children to get yeast infections or jock itch type infections.
 
2013-03-08 10:11:23 PM

FarkingReading: My 5-year-old daughter tells me -- I'm a single dad -- all the time in a whisper: "My vagina itches."

I tell her she needs to make sure she wipes after going potty and that she needs to thoroughly wash in the shower.

Then she just stares at me.

When she showers, I stand outside the shower to help if needed, but I always make sure she washes her vagina by herself (I don't need her telling people, "Daddy washes my vagina").

Why am I telling you this?

Because I am not looking forward to her days of female blood and vagina.


hah, i take it you're gotten past the poop and vagina stage?   Louis CK - Changing Diapers
 
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