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(mlive)   Lawsuit from "God" dismissed, but judge praises neatly typed submissions   (mlive.com) divider line 32
    More: Amusing  
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5914 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2001 at 11:30 AM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2001-11-27 11:38:25 AM
if the messiah can't get treated properly in prison then the terrorists have already won!
 
2001-11-27 11:47:18 AM
Someone will represent God and sue the cloners for copyright infringement.
 
2001-11-27 11:51:22 AM
hear hear!
poor God
I wonder if he asking for conjegul (sp?) visits
 
2001-11-27 11:52:55 AM
I guess schizophrenia is no defense if one robs a Taco Bell.
 
2001-11-27 11:53:25 AM
My guess would be God could probably break out of a prison. But I haven't met one lately, so I can say for sure. Maybe the bars are made of Kryptonite, like a Superman thing.
 
HPZ [TotalFark]
2001-11-27 11:57:18 AM
w00t! Good ol' Michigan.
 
2001-11-27 11:58:46 AM
That is hands down one of the funniest things I have ever read.
 
2001-11-27 12:02:25 PM
That guy is my hero. Except for the whole armed robbery thing.
 
2001-11-27 12:05:47 PM
Jeezuschrist! Er, uh, oops, did I say that?
 
2001-11-27 12:08:31 PM
Well fark, I lost another lawsuit....
 
2001-11-27 12:20:51 PM
Wouldn't a better title be:
"God robs Taco Bell"?
 
2001-11-27 12:22:16 PM
god robbs Taco Bell...He could just summon up all the Tacos he wants..
 
2001-11-27 12:38:08 PM
"DeKoven is serving time for an armed robbery of a Detroit-area Taco Bell. He had claimed that action was simply the realization of the Biblical prediction that Christ will come as a thief in the night."

HAW HAW HAW!
 
2001-11-27 12:45:08 PM
"DeKoven also demanded... , peace in the Middle East, and return of all U.S. military personnel to the United States within 90 days."

Well if this guy was really God, he'd be on the side of the US.
 
2001-11-27 12:48:06 PM
I agree with Playa, that was hilarious, i shall copy that story and show me grandkiddies one day !!!
 
2001-11-27 12:49:42 PM
Read the opinion here:

http://www.mied.uscourts.gov/_opinions/Lawsonpdf/dml01-10124.pdf

It's sort of interesting...
 
2001-11-27 12:51:25 PM
The actual opinion is even better than the article:
http://www.mied.uscourts.gov/_opinions/Lawsonpdf/dml01-10124.pdf
 
2001-11-27 12:55:07 PM
I especially like this from the opinion:

"In the alternative, plaintiff requests that the United States government give plaintiff various
material things, including 600 million metric tons of .995 fine gold; 25 billion metric tons of refined
steel; 50 million metric tons of refined copper; 250 million metric tons of refined silver; and various
animals, including 500 pairs each of mature breeding lake trout, northern pike, small mouth and large
mouth bass, perch, coho, brown trout, speckled trout, blue catfish, channel catfish, sturgeon, rock
bass, bluegill, sunfish, and salmon; 5 million breeding pairs of bison; 500 million mature breeding
pairs of each species of crab and mollusk that inhabit the waters in the borders of the United States;
and 45 million trees of various varieties at least the age of 50 years old."
 
2001-11-27 12:59:58 PM
His lawsuit was, "fanciful, fantastic, delusional ... frivolous, implausible, unsubstantial and devoid of merit."

How 'bouts just farking stupid?

This reminds me of the Star Trek TNG episode where the con lady posed as the deity Ardra, and demanded control of a planet since she "held up her end of the bargain".
 
2001-11-27 01:00:02 PM
I can't believe the judge read all 125 pages of demands that the Messiah made. I also can't believe he wrote a 22 page response. Most people would have only needed 2 words. You can guess what they are.
 
2001-11-27 01:22:40 PM
He's not the messiah, he's just a naughty boy.
 
2001-11-27 01:33:03 PM
"DeKoven includes page upon page of numerical data and secret codes, which he claims prove he is God."

Code..oh no..the world is coming to an end.

I'll bet Bill Gates is behind this
 
2001-11-27 01:34:07 PM
Mmm_hogfat:Well if this guy was really God, he'd be on the side of the US.

Not according to those idiots Falwell and Robertson. God has abandoned us. Bah.
 
2001-11-27 01:36:02 PM
Sounds like he's been doing an awful lot of heroin during his time in prison. Does this prison screen its mail like it should?
 
2001-11-27 01:38:12 PM
And in other news, God was brutally shanked by someone claiming they were Jesus H. Christ. When asked what the H. stood for, the supposed "son of God" answered, "Holy Shiat!" That answers many questions this reporter has.

Police are treating this as a domestic violence report, seeing that the son of God stabbed God.

"This is a sad thing, seeing a boy raised by a father who is in jail. In fact, since they are both in jail, we can say that the whole family of God is rotten to the core." said an anonymous police source, who was struck dead by lightening.

A very upset man, appearing in smoke and flames, stated, "How farking dumb are you?!? I am God!"

He was promptly taken into custody for questioning.
 
2001-11-27 01:40:32 PM
Kosh_Naranek--

Your: "Not according to those idiots Falwell and Robertson. God has abandoned us. Bah." to be more accurate would read: "... God has withdrawn His hand of protection from the U.S."

I'm nit-picking, I know. Sorry. But it looks to be a slow news day.
 
2001-11-27 02:39:26 PM
Kosh_Naranek-
That's only if you believe those nimrods. My God is giving the US of A a big 'ol man hug and patting us all on the ass. Huzzah!
 
2001-11-27 02:45:49 PM
AntiNorm @ 11-27-01 01:36:02 PM: How do you figure???
 
2001-11-27 04:03:11 PM
ZZZXZZZ - You damn pervert...
 
2001-11-27 04:11:55 PM
Brisvegas_boy. Heh heh heh.
 
2001-11-27 11:20:55 PM
Now, is it a violation of the separation of Church and State for the judge to quote scripture in an opinion?

For the record, I think it was entirely appropriate in this case.
 
2001-11-28 01:38:03 PM
His prisoner number 145274 added together equals 23.

Fools! Don't they know who they're dealing with???
 
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