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(Daily Mail)   Hot : You meet a sexy hazel eyed man on a trip to the Bahamas and you get your groove back. Sappy: Your family throws a BBQ so he can meet them. Awkward: He recognizes your father as his own   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 40
    More: Ironic, Bahamas, hazel eyes, DNA tests, dating  
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29778 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2013 at 10:05 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-05 09:15:08 PM  
7 votes:
At least make the stories believable, Daily Mail.
2013-03-05 10:13:23 PM  
5 votes:

ZAZ: Daily Mail links to Ebony as the source.  I think Ebony is more credible than Daily Mail, but I have a melanin deficiency mutation (the one found in most people of European descent) and can't speak authoritatively.


The Onion is a more credible source than Daily Mail.
2013-03-05 10:10:08 PM  
5 votes:
images4.fanpop.com
2013-03-05 10:54:33 PM  
4 votes:
How come when a woman goes to the Bahamas to get laid she's "getting her groove back" but when I do it it's "sex tourism"?
2013-03-05 10:12:34 PM  
4 votes:

namegoeshere: I had two kids in my preschool class whose moms met and became good friends. They compared notes and found out that their kids had the same babydaddy. I always wondered what would have happened if they'd figured it out later in life after the kids had hooked up.


"Babydaddy."

I hate that term.
2013-03-05 10:19:09 PM  
3 votes:
That's why I always date people of different ethnicity than I.
2013-03-05 10:16:32 PM  
3 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2013-03-05 10:39:05 PM  
2 votes:
Kevin Baconed Score of 1.
2013-03-05 09:16:27 PM  
2 votes:
I had two kids in my preschool class whose moms met and became good friends. They compared notes and found out that their kids had the same babydaddy. I always wondered what would have happened if they'd figured it out later in life after the kids had hooked up.
2013-03-05 08:45:52 PM  
2 votes:
There's an entire category of that kind of story over on ImageFap.
I have said too much.  Again.
2013-03-06 10:29:43 AM  
1 votes:
Don't judge until you've read the whole thing.

I'm just sharing my story because people asked...
Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's late and I'm sleep deprived so i guess I'll just write it now and regret it in the morning
First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's bad to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.
Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.
I don't want to go into to many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that my sister made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so beautiful that I watched it twice. Probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy stuff went down and I had to leave home. (My dad's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).
Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.
My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just drool all over her. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly.
After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.
Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.
My friend and my sister never hooked up I don't think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was messed up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.
Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I've ever seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.
A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say I was surprised.
But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father.
2013-03-06 09:34:09 AM  
1 votes:

Zarquon's Flat Tire: darwinpolice: ZAZ: Daily Mail links to Ebony as the source.  I think Ebony is more credible than Daily Mail, but I have a melanin deficiency mutation (the one found in most people of European descent) and can't speak authoritatively.

The Onion is a more credible source than Daily Mail.

The Onion just prints things before they happen is all.


I can't answer for anything as farked as this story; however, my old housemate's girlfriend's brother* was the subject of a Mail on Sunday "My Relationship Hell" story, when his girlfriend wrote to their agony aunt about him.

Basically she didn't like the fact that, after a two year relationship, he remained the same selfish douche he was when he dumped his old girlfriend for her. Go figure.

Don't really know why she did it. I think she was really addicted to needless drama and attention; but, anyway, 7 billion people in the world and some of them will actually seem to enjoy telling the press the most personal shiat imaginable.

*Yeah I know, "31 Flavours". But I have met the guy. He does exist and is pretty much as much of a douchebag as the Mail made out.
2013-03-06 05:11:45 AM  
1 votes:

OscarTamerz: Corey, COREY, what black dude is named Corey? They might as well have said his name was Jason. If they'd said it was Antwan and Shaniqwa I would have totally bought the whole story.


I know three black Coreys, two black Jasons (one Jason and one Jayson), and not a single Antwan or Shaniqwa.

/though I do know Darnell, Chanel, and a LaTishya, and one of them makes fun of Purell.
2013-03-06 04:05:24 AM  
1 votes:

upndn: There's a song in here somewhere. Most likely country.


Acceptable.

mayIFark: Big deal, how hard it is to move Alabama?


Heroic.

martid4: have probably played a mean banjo.

Inspiring.

SpiderQueenDemon: I lived in West Virginia for seven years.

They call this sort of situation 'Thursday.'


Noble.

PaLarkin:  I'm guessing the  states have to be one of the following:  Kentucky Tennessee Arkansas West  Virginia
This is the part of the country where people don't have family trees.  They have family telephone poles.


Glorious.

Abacus9: You can take the girl out of Kentucky...


Righteous.

Vectron: They're black people. It doesn't have the same stigma as it does to us.
It's harder for them to tell whose father is whose.


What the fark is wrong with you? Jesus Christ. Is this how you talk in real life?
Welcome to my ignore list.
2013-03-06 03:40:27 AM  
1 votes:

qitty: While I am against this sort of lying and hiding things from your kids, for this very reason, because of actual genetics and science and all that boring stuff, you'd think it not be a big deal biblically..if, you know, we're supposed to take the whole Adam and Eve thing seriously.


What about their kids? They would have had to marry siblings. (Someone once showed me a pamphlet called "Where Did Cain Get His Wife?", the gist of which was that incest was okey-dokey fine back then because apparently we only started developing recessive genetic flaws as a result of the Fall, and within the first generation or two there wouldn't have been enough to make inbreeding a problem. This is, evidently, what creationists actually believe.)
m00
2013-03-06 02:50:49 AM  
1 votes:

qitty: While I am against this sort of lying and hiding things from your kids, for this very reason, because of actual genetics and science and all that boring stuff, you'd think it not be a big deal biblically..if, you know, we're supposed to take the whole Adam and Eve thing seriously.


They weren't brother and sisters. More like clones, kinda. I guess if in the dystopian future men have a rib extracted to grow the perfect wife, which is legally not a separate human being and has no rights or ability to own property...

wait a minute. biblical views on women suddenly make sense.

Maybe we are living in the future and "God" is just the last sentient AI from a technologically advanced past. The human race was on the brink of destruction, due to overindulgence and carelessness... Men were creating legions of sex slaves in vats taken from samples of their body to circumvent personhood laws. After the war, the AI searched for any survivors, as he was programmed to aid humans. Eventually a single man was found, but he had suffered severe brain trauma and had amnesia. The AI called God had his rib removed and placed in the vat, with the other necessary ingredients to make a person -- rare elements gathered from across the ravaged earth. Eve emerged from the vat, and became property of Adam -- as this was the law as programmed into the AI.
2013-03-06 02:43:39 AM  
1 votes:

namegoeshere: Demetrius: At least make the stories believable, Daily Mail.

There was a story on here years ago about a married couple who went for genetic counseling when they were unable to conceive. They found out they were brother and sister.

IIRC they stayed married and adopted.


I'll raise you this Fark story from a few years ago:  Guy and girl meet in college.  Guy knocks up girl.  At their engagement party, guy's dad recognizes fiances mom as his ex-wife.  Yes, they were brother and sister; parents divorced when kids were young.  Dad kept the son, mom took the daughter.
2013-03-06 02:20:29 AM  
1 votes:

Cargo: [www.csustan.edu image 220x326]

Approves.

/might even be obscure!


Not a chance.  Thought "Fool for Love" first off, and I haven't seen that movie since I was a kid who wasn't supposed to watch it in the first place.
2013-03-06 02:11:49 AM  
1 votes:
Of course it's fourth-hand fiction--it's the  Daily Mail, after all.

On the other hand, statistically speaking, this probably happens all the time. A small but non-negligible number of the babies that get born are not the offspring of the man who thinks (or hopes) he's the father. Any two young people living in the same small town stand a reasonably good chance of farking each other at some point along the way, usually without checking to see if Mom knows any reason why they shouldn't. And that's not even getting into the bizarre coincidences that can happen on a planet of 7,000,000 people.

FWIW, from a genetic standpoint, the occasional baby from half-sibling incest isn't any cause for alarm, any more than the occasional first-cousin marriage is. It's only when you need partial differential equations to count how many different ways you're related to someone that you start having to worry about every nosebleed.
2013-03-06 01:42:39 AM  
1 votes:

JohnAnnArbor: namegoeshere: I had two kids in my preschool class whose moms met and became good friends. They compared notes and found out that their kids had the same babydaddy. I always wondered what would have happened if they'd figured it out later in life after the kids had hooked up.

"Babydaddy."

I hate that term.


You're not the only one.  Surely there's some other way to say "biological father of X's child."
2013-03-06 01:41:57 AM  
1 votes:
1. Tie tubes.
2. Adopt instead of bearing children.
3. Enjoy your relationship.

No big deal.
m00
2013-03-06 01:13:59 AM  
1 votes:

the_chief: Also on the daily fail:
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x915]


It's funny because he and I are the same age, and we've both aged terribly and went through a "fat period"
2013-03-06 12:50:03 AM  
1 votes:

SlothB77: ZAZ: Demetrius

Daily Mail links to Ebony as the source.  I think Ebony is more credible than Daily Mail, but I have a melanin deficiency mutation (the one found in most people of European descent) and can't speak authoritatively.

still think this isn't legit.


Didn't it happen to Terrell Owens?
2013-03-06 12:13:41 AM  
1 votes:
If the Mormons were really trying to push abstinence, they'd pretend this happened way more often that it does.
2013-03-05 11:53:15 PM  
1 votes:
I know it's probably a bit late in the game, but I've decided I'm just not clicking on Mail links anymore.


Vectron: They're black people. It doesn't have the same stigma as it does to us.
It's harder for them to tell whose father is whose.


Thanks for reminding me why I have you Farkied as "Race baiting troll".
2013-03-05 11:49:48 PM  
1 votes:

Vectron: They're black people. It doesn't have the same stigma as it does to us.
It's harder for them to tell whose father is whose.


-7/10
2013-03-05 11:44:00 PM  
1 votes:
They're black people. It doesn't have the same stigma as it does to us.
It's harder for them to tell whose father is whose.
2013-03-05 11:35:46 PM  
1 votes:
JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY! XD
2013-03-05 11:18:25 PM  
1 votes:
imgttg.com
2013-03-05 11:17:21 PM  
1 votes:
Welcome to FARK, where the Ironic tag has been misused since the day it was created.
2013-03-05 11:01:16 PM  
1 votes:

JohnAnnArbor: namegoeshere: I had two kids in my preschool class whose moms met and became good friends. They compared notes and found out that their kids had the same babydaddy. I always wondered what would have happened if they'd figured it out later in life after the kids had hooked up.

"Babydaddy."

I hate that term.


Yeah, it's almost like somebody actually tried to come up with a term more irritating than "sperm donor" or "piece of shiat that hit and ran."
2013-03-05 10:57:16 PM  
1 votes:

illannoyin: How come when a woman goes to the Bahamas to get laid she's "getting her groove back" but when I do it it's "sex tourism"?


Subtle details like age and gender, perhaps?
2013-03-05 10:45:34 PM  
1 votes:

darwinpolice: ZAZ: Daily Mail links to Ebony as the source.  I think Ebony is more credible than Daily Mail, but I have a melanin deficiency mutation (the one found in most people of European descent) and can't speak authoritatively.

The Onion is a more credible source than Daily Mail.


The Onion just prints things before they happen is all.
2013-03-05 10:25:30 PM  
1 votes:

namegoeshere: Demetrius: At least make the stories believable, Daily Mail.

There was a story on here years ago about a married couple who went for genetic counseling when they were unable to conceive. They found out they were brother and sister.

IIRC they stayed married and adopted.


I was going to say, the least believable part of the story is that the couple broke up, and that's really saying something because this article reads like a bad romance novel.

"Dad?..."

Come on.
2013-03-05 10:19:02 PM  
1 votes:
Big deal, how hard it is to move Alabama?

Well, hard, very hard. But I guess, you can do that for true love.
2013-03-05 10:13:08 PM  
1 votes:
I call Daily Mail BS. Story is a hoax
2013-03-05 10:12:13 PM  
1 votes:
i.ytimg.com

Oh you're my sister!!!!
2013-03-05 09:54:02 PM  
1 votes:
MaudlinMutantMollusk: I never would have believed it could happen to me...

Habeeb it!
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-05 09:51:29 PM  
1 votes:
Demetrius

Daily Mail links to Ebony as the source.  I think Ebony is more credible than Daily Mail, but I have a melanin deficiency mutation (the one found in most people of European descent) and can't speak authoritatively.
2013-03-05 08:48:12 PM  
1 votes:
Sister wife, I love you twice: once as a sibling, once as a bride.
 
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