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(Daily Mail)   Hot : You meet a sexy hazel eyed man on a trip to the Bahamas and you get your groove back. Sappy: Your family throws a BBQ so he can meet them. Awkward: He recognizes your father as his own   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 43
    More: Ironic, Bahamas, hazel eyes, DNA tests, dating  
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29775 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2013 at 10:05 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-05 10:10:08 PM
7 votes:
images4.fanpop.com
2013-03-06 10:29:43 AM
6 votes:
Don't judge until you've read the whole thing.

I'm just sharing my story because people asked...
Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's late and I'm sleep deprived so i guess I'll just write it now and regret it in the morning
First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's bad to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.
Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.
I don't want to go into to many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that my sister made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so beautiful that I watched it twice. Probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy stuff went down and I had to leave home. (My dad's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).
Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.
My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just drool all over her. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly.
After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.
Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.
My friend and my sister never hooked up I don't think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was messed up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.
Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I've ever seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.
A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say I was surprised.
But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father.
2013-03-05 10:39:05 PM
4 votes:
Kevin Baconed Score of 1.
2013-03-05 09:42:12 PM
4 votes:
Dear Penthouse Letters,
 I never would have believed it could happen to me...
2013-03-05 08:45:52 PM
4 votes:
There's an entire category of that kind of story over on ImageFap.
I have said too much.  Again.
2013-03-06 01:58:13 AM
3 votes:
farm7.staticflickr.com
2013-03-05 11:43:14 PM
3 votes:
www.wearysloth.com

Approves
2013-03-05 10:54:33 PM
3 votes:
How come when a woman goes to the Bahamas to get laid she's "getting her groove back" but when I do it it's "sex tourism"?
2013-03-05 10:16:32 PM
3 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2013-03-05 11:44:00 PM
2 votes:
They're black people. It doesn't have the same stigma as it does to us.
It's harder for them to tell whose father is whose.
2013-03-05 11:23:23 PM
2 votes:
"But you're my sister!"

"Only by blood."

images.zap2it.com
2013-03-05 10:56:37 PM
2 votes:
I lived in West Virginia for seven years.

They call this sort of situation 'Thursday.'
2013-03-05 10:29:15 PM
2 votes:
Doesn't matter. Had sex.
2013-03-05 10:19:09 PM
2 votes:
That's why I always date people of different ethnicity than I.
2013-03-05 10:13:23 PM
2 votes:

ZAZ: Daily Mail links to Ebony as the source.  I think Ebony is more credible than Daily Mail, but I have a melanin deficiency mutation (the one found in most people of European descent) and can't speak authoritatively.


The Onion is a more credible source than Daily Mail.
2013-03-05 09:16:27 PM
2 votes:
I had two kids in my preschool class whose moms met and became good friends. They compared notes and found out that their kids had the same babydaddy. I always wondered what would have happened if they'd figured it out later in life after the kids had hooked up.
2013-03-05 09:15:08 PM
2 votes:
At least make the stories believable, Daily Mail.
2013-03-06 11:24:28 AM
1 votes:
Was the guy's name Dexter?

s3.vidimg02.popscreen.com
2013-03-06 11:15:56 AM
1 votes:

Abacus9: You can take the girl out of Alabama...


FTFY

It's the deep south for a reason.
2013-03-06 11:01:57 AM
1 votes:

vygramul: CigaretteSmokingMan: SithLord: [www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]

Approves

[www.kcet.org image 600x466]

Amateur.

John Hurt did make a better insane Caligula than Malcolm McDowell.


Yeah, but the best part of that show is Brian Blessed and his whore of a daughter. Man, I need to watch that show again. Too many of my favorite Brit actors in one place - Blessed, John Hurt, Patrick Stewart, John Rhys-Davies, the underappreciated John Castle (Geoffrey in The Lion in Winter) and last, but not least, the incredibly talented Siân Phillips - who was 12 time winner of "Hot Old Lady of the Year" long before Helen Mirren turned 50.
2013-03-06 10:13:58 AM
1 votes:
"my dad suggested that we throw a BBQ so he can grill the new man in his daughter's life"

unfortunate wording.
2013-03-06 05:08:36 AM
1 votes:
Corey, COREY, what black dude is named Corey? They might as well have said his name was Jason. If they'd said it was Antwan and Shaniqwa I would have totally bought the whole story.
2013-03-06 05:08:11 AM
1 votes:

saturn badger: JohnAnnArbor: "Babydaddy."

I hate that term.

babydaddy. babydaddy. babydaddy.

There. I said it three times.


Great, now Henry I is going to garrotte all of us in our bathrooms.
2013-03-06 04:10:04 AM
1 votes:

m00: qitty: While I am against this sort of lying and hiding things from your kids, for this very reason, because of actual genetics and science and all that boring stuff, you'd think it not be a big deal biblically..if, you know, we're supposed to take the whole Adam and Eve thing seriously.

They weren't brother and sisters. More like clones, kinda. I guess if in the dystopian future men have a rib extracted to grow the perfect wife, which is legally not a separate human being and has no rights or ability to own property...

wait a minute. biblical views on women suddenly make sense.

Maybe we are living in the future and "God" is just the last sentient AI from a technologically advanced past. The human race was on the brink of destruction, due to overindulgence and carelessness... Men were creating legions of sex slaves in vats taken from samples of their body to circumvent personhood laws. After the war, the AI searched for any survivors, as he was programmed to aid humans. Eventually a single man was found, but he had suffered severe brain trauma and had amnesia. The AI called God had his rib removed and placed in the vat, with the other necessary ingredients to make a person -- rare elements gathered from across the ravaged earth. Eve emerged from the vat, and became property of Adam -- as this was the law as programmed into the AI.


.. better beware. There's probably a group that is obligated to hunt you down for revealing stuff like this. 

Move on. Nothing to see here. *whistles innocently*
2013-03-06 04:05:24 AM
1 votes:

upndn: There's a song in here somewhere. Most likely country.


Acceptable.

mayIFark: Big deal, how hard it is to move Alabama?


Heroic.

martid4: have probably played a mean banjo.

Inspiring.

SpiderQueenDemon: I lived in West Virginia for seven years.

They call this sort of situation 'Thursday.'


Noble.

PaLarkin:  I'm guessing the  states have to be one of the following:  Kentucky Tennessee Arkansas West  Virginia
This is the part of the country where people don't have family trees.  They have family telephone poles.


Glorious.

Abacus9: You can take the girl out of Kentucky...


Righteous.

Vectron: They're black people. It doesn't have the same stigma as it does to us.
It's harder for them to tell whose father is whose.


What the fark is wrong with you? Jesus Christ. Is this how you talk in real life?
Welcome to my ignore list.
2013-03-06 01:57:09 AM
1 votes:

Raddamant: Weird Al did it.


Yes, but, to be fair, it's complicated.
2013-03-06 01:12:41 AM
1 votes:

CigaretteSmokingMan: SithLord: [www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]

Approves

[www.kcet.org image 600x466]

Amateur.


i will break out the crisco
2013-03-06 01:07:40 AM
1 votes:

SithLord: [www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]

Approves


www.kcet.org

Amateur.
2013-03-05 11:36:43 PM
1 votes:
The article said they live in different states.  I'm guessing the  states have to be one of the following:  Kentucky Tennessee Arkansas West  Virginia

This is the part of the country where people don't have family trees.  They have family telephone poles.
2013-03-05 11:35:46 PM
1 votes:
JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY! XD
2013-03-05 11:29:08 PM
1 votes:

mrswood: saturn badger: JohnAnnArbor: "Babydaddy."

I hate that term.

babydaddy. babydaddy. babydaddy.

There. I said it three times.

Great now the babydaddy is going to appear.


A wild BABYDADDY appears!
2013-03-05 11:28:08 PM
1 votes:
My Sister! My Daughter! My Sister! My Daughter!
2013-03-05 11:12:38 PM
1 votes:
Bummer.
But it's already done. If it was really good, well, just don't have kids.

or.....

"Dude, let me hook you up with my sister. She's Funny, hot, and great in bed!"
2013-03-05 10:42:57 PM
1 votes:

JohnAnnArbor: "Babydaddy."

I hate that term.


babydaddy. babydaddy. babydaddy.

There. I said it three times.
2013-03-05 10:39:56 PM
1 votes:

GungFu: Kevin Baconed Score of 1.


Shiat, even I'm confused as to what that means...
2013-03-05 10:37:03 PM
1 votes:
Now, many many years ago
When I was twenty three
I was married to a widow
Who was pretty as could be

This widow had a grown-up daughter
Had hair of red
My father fell in love with her
And soon the two were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life
My daughter was my mother
'Cause she was my father's wife

To complicate the matters
Even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad
And so became my uncle
Though it made me very sad

For if he was my uncle
That also made him the brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother

I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so
I'm my own grandpa


/sorta fits, I guess
2013-03-05 10:30:41 PM
1 votes:
HALF sister. So half as wrong. Or something.
2013-03-05 10:28:20 PM
1 votes:
lh5.googleusercontent.com
2013-03-05 10:19:02 PM
1 votes:
Big deal, how hard it is to move Alabama?

Well, hard, very hard. But I guess, you can do that for true love.
2013-03-05 10:12:13 PM
1 votes:
i.ytimg.com

Oh you're my sister!!!!
2013-03-05 10:09:23 PM
1 votes:

doglover: Sister wife, I love you twice: once as a sibling, once as a bride with the ribbing.


ftfy
2013-03-05 10:08:58 PM
1 votes:
There's a song in here somewhere. Most likely country.
2013-03-05 09:54:02 PM
1 votes:
MaudlinMutantMollusk: I never would have believed it could happen to me...

Habeeb it!
 
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