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(Yahoo)   We found out Batman's identity. No, not Bruce Wayne, but Stan the Delivery Man   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 40
    More: Followup, Batman, moral support  
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5777 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2013 at 1:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-05 01:10:04 PM  
No. I am Batman.
 
2013-03-05 01:12:41 PM  
I thought Stan the Delivery Man was a Batman villian.
 
2013-03-05 01:13:23 PM  
He just wants you to think he's a delivery man... it's all part of his disguise, fools!
 
2013-03-05 01:13:38 PM  
farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2013-03-05 01:16:37 PM  
Farkin Brits sure do like to get   "gobsmacked"  a lot.

Learn English, you frikkin poufsters.
 
2013-03-05 01:17:08 PM  
So. . . . his friend was turning himself in and Stan went along?  Dressed as Batman?
 
2013-03-05 01:17:09 PM  
That story just keeps getting weirder and funnier the farther you read.
 
2013-03-05 01:17:41 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-05 01:18:13 PM  
ninjamonkey.us
 
2013-03-05 01:18:36 PM  
Unmasking the Batman?   What are they trying to do--get him killed?
 
2013-03-05 01:28:21 PM  
stan is superman, not batman

and here is the proof

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1y2qKnf0Rmk">http://www.youtube.com/w atch?v=1y2qKnf0Rmk
 
2013-03-05 01:29:48 PM  
How hard would it be to unmask superheroes in the real world? We have voice recognition software apps on cellphones by now. A pair of National Health glasses isn't going to fool anybody except in Smallville. You can run but you can't hide from software that can identify you by your walk, your voice, your body shape and size, DNA, etc.

There isn't a super villain this side of Congress dumb enough not to ID a masked superhero in half an hour.

Even a voice distorting gadget wouldn't protect Batman for long.
 
2013-03-05 01:32:36 PM  
i172.photobucket.com
Would have rather seen Stan the Java Man than Stan the Delivery Man.
 
2013-03-05 01:34:46 PM  

brantgoose: How hard would it be to unmask superheroes in the real world? We have voice recognition software apps on cellphones by now. A pair of National Health glasses isn't going to fool anybody except in Smallville. You can run but you can't hide from software that can identify you by your walk, your voice, your body shape and size, DNA, etc.

There isn't a super villain this side of Congress dumb enough not to ID a masked superhero in half an hour.

Even a voice distorting gadget wouldn't protect Batman for long.


Foxfire of Michigan is still at large.
 
2013-03-05 01:35:57 PM  
He's the goddamn Fatman.
 
2013-03-05 01:36:35 PM  

brantgoose: How hard would it be to unmask superheroes in the real world? We have voice recognition software apps on cellphones by now. A pair of National Health glasses isn't going to fool anybody except in Smallville. You can run but you can't hide from software that can identify you by your walk, your voice, your body shape and size, DNA, etc.

There isn't a super villain this side of Congress dumb enough not to ID a masked superhero in half an hour.

Even a voice distorting gadget wouldn't protect Batman for long.


Yeah.  The conceit of a secret identity was stretched pretty thin even when Batman was a new concept in the early 20th century.  In the modern world, it requires even more suspension of disbelief.  The dark knight movies were particularly bad about this-- Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham and then immediately somebody matching his build who obviously has access to advanced technology and lots of capital starts fighting crime?  And nobody makes the connection?  Come on.
 
2013-03-05 01:37:03 PM  
Was he on the way to a funeral?
 
2013-03-05 01:38:11 PM  

brantgoose: How hard would it be to unmask superheroes in the real world? We have voice recognition software apps on cellphones by now. A pair of National Health glasses isn't going to fool anybody except in Smallville. You can run but you can't hide from software that can identify you by your walk, your voice, your body shape and size, DNA, etc.

There isn't a super villain this side of Congress dumb enough not to ID a masked superhero in half an hour.

Even a voice distorting gadget wouldn't protect Batman for long.


You might be interested in reading this. Or this book, by the same authors.
 
2013-03-05 01:39:06 PM  

brantgoose: How hard would it be to unmask superheroes in the real world? We have voice recognition software apps on cellphones by now. A pair of National Health glasses isn't going to fool anybody except in Smallville. You can run but you can't hide from software that can identify you by your walk, your voice, your body shape and size, DNA, etc.

There isn't a super villain this side of Congress dumb enough not to ID a masked superhero in half an hour.

Even a voice distorting gadget wouldn't protect Batman for long.


In real life the masked whoever would not last long. So it would have to be an organization of people who take turns using the costume. It would be too hard to pin down an identity in that case. Anyone caught or killed could just be called a copycat. The organization disavows any knowledge... etc.
 
2013-03-05 01:41:46 PM  
And Bateman's identity is "Guy who is in every single movie being released this year".
 
2013-03-05 01:42:45 PM  
"Obviously"
 
2013-03-05 01:43:33 PM  
starwrecked.com
 
2013-03-05 01:44:25 PM  
I thought it was one of these guys

www.moviefancentral.com
 
2013-03-05 01:47:12 PM  
Huh. As this is Britain, I'm honestly surprised that he wasn't immediately thrown in prison. Usually, doing anything but preparing your anus when within 100 feet of any criminal activity is a serious offense.
 
2013-03-05 01:50:07 PM  
I thought it was Cat Sith.
 
2013-03-05 01:52:18 PM  
First we out this brave soul's identity and open him up to retribution from some joker and what's next, releasing the identities of Seal Team Six? Once again, thanks a lot, big brother government! :(
 
2013-03-05 01:53:30 PM  
Was in the tan van, with the golden AN?
 
2013-03-05 01:58:59 PM  

Pariah.: Huh. As this is Britain, I'm honestly surprised that he wasn't immediately thrown in prison. Usually, doing anything but preparing your anus when within 100 feet of any criminal activity is a serious offense.


Well, if you believe the headlines/articles linked from Fark is an accurate assessment of reality, sure.
 
2013-03-05 02:01:25 PM  

Forced Perspective: brantgoose: How hard would it be to unmask superheroes in the real world? We have voice recognition software apps on cellphones by now. A pair of National Health glasses isn't going to fool anybody except in Smallville. You can run but you can't hide from software that can identify you by your walk, your voice, your body shape and size, DNA, etc.

There isn't a super villain this side of Congress dumb enough not to ID a masked superhero in half an hour.

Even a voice distorting gadget wouldn't protect Batman for long.

Yeah.  The conceit of a secret identity was stretched pretty thin even when Batman was a new concept in the early 20th century.  In the modern world, it requires even more suspension of disbelief.  The dark knight movies were particularly bad about this-- Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham and then immediately somebody matching his build who obviously has access to advanced technology and lots of capital starts fighting crime?  And nobody makes the connection?  Come on.


If only there were some term to describe not being a total farking buzzkill about these sorts of things...

I find it pretty hard to believe that a hot, stacked co-ed wants to blow a guy who delivers pizza for a living, but I tend to just go with it.
 
2013-03-05 02:06:32 PM  
He's Javanese?
www.strangecosmos.com
 
2013-03-05 02:12:28 PM  
ts4.mm.bing.net
I always figured it was Chief O'hara
 
2013-03-05 02:21:14 PM  

stuffy: [ts4.mm.bing.net image 170x174]
I always figured it was Chief O'hara


The perfect ruse...just be the farking police chief whose sole purpose it, not to answer, but merely to point out when the bat phone is ringing.
 
2013-03-05 02:47:46 PM  

SkylineRecords: stuffy: [ts4.mm.bing.net image 170x174]
I always figured it was Chief O'hara

The perfect ruse...just be the farking police chief whose sole purpose it, not to answer, but merely to point out when the bat phone is ringing.


You ill-informed fool.

He also got to say "Saints Preserve Us," "Begorah" and bemoan the state of affairs if Batman didn't do whatever it was Batman was supposed to do. He was kind of Gotham's Sgt. Shultz.
 
2013-03-05 02:54:54 PM  
0.tqn.com
 
2013-03-05 03:03:58 PM  

QuietMan: [0.tqn.com image 450x667]


Mystery Men was the best superhero movie parody of all time.

OF ALL TIME.
 
2013-03-05 03:48:59 PM  

cgraves67: I thought Stan the Delivery Man was a Batman villian.


No, That's Milkman Dan.

\Oh, how I hate you milkman dan.
 
2013-03-05 04:04:19 PM  

perigee: SkylineRecords: stuffy: [ts4.mm.bing.net image 170x174]
I always figured it was Chief O'hara

The perfect ruse...just be the farking police chief whose sole purpose it, not to answer, but merely to point out when the bat phone is ringing.

You ill-informed fool.

He also got to say "Saints Preserve Us," "Begorah" and bemoan the state of affairs if Batman didn't do whatever it was Batman was supposed to do. He was kind of Gotham's Sgt. Shultz.


Not to mention occasionally going undercover with Commissioner Gordon as a beach bum.
 
2013-03-05 06:34:13 PM  

Decillion: brantgoose: How hard would it be to unmask superheroes in the real world? We have voice recognition software apps on cellphones by now. A pair of National Health glasses isn't going to fool anybody except in Smallville. You can run but you can't hide from software that can identify you by your walk, your voice, your body shape and size, DNA, etc.

There isn't a super villain this side of Congress dumb enough not to ID a masked superhero in half an hour.

Even a voice distorting gadget wouldn't protect Batman for long.

In real life the masked whoever would not last long. So it would have to be an organization of people who take turns using the costume. It would be too hard to pin down an identity in that case. Anyone caught or killed could just be called a copycat. The organization disavows any knowledge... etc.


Just like the Batwoman movie?
 
2013-03-05 07:20:04 PM  
Gotham City is in New Jersey. Never forget that.
 
2013-03-06 04:59:26 AM  

calbert: [farm9.staticflickr.com image 500x362]


Batman's really let himself go.
 
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