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(Chicago Trib)   Ikea getting into hotel business. Rooms are cheap, but you have to build your own room out of horse-meat with the help of a well dressed monkey   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 47
    More: Interesting, IKEA, Marriott, hotels  
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3473 clicks; posted to Business » on 05 Mar 2013 at 12:03 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-05 10:41:03 AM
******golf clap
 
2013-03-05 11:21:54 AM
That sounds strangely enticing. Tell me more about the monkey.
 
2013-03-05 11:47:28 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
Sounds relaxing.
 
2013-03-05 12:04:45 PM
... on a hovercraft loaded with eels?
 
2013-03-05 12:04:55 PM
No point in continuing the thread, subby already did all the heavy lifting.

\+1
 
2013-03-05 12:06:31 PM
Don't forget the allen wrench
 
2013-03-05 12:06:35 PM
I'd consider staying at one, sounds like a neat idea
 
2013-03-05 12:07:28 PM

Crewmannumber6: Don't forget the allen wrench


Pfft, I just have a hex set for my drill
 
m00
2013-03-05 12:08:29 PM
This makes sense.

When I travel to Norway for work I stay in a temporary apartment. It's all IKEA furnished, and it's pretty bare/undecorated but has everything you need (bed, table, chairs, internet, that stupid black-and-white cow rug, etc). When I go to a hotel in the US or Canada it might run me $100 a night on average, sometimes more sometimes less. But like, you don't need carpet and a couch and those plush chairs, and lithographs of whatever painter the decorator fancies.
 
2013-03-05 12:10:57 PM
Can I keep the dapper monkey?
 
2013-03-05 12:15:13 PM
m00: "you don't need carpet and a couch and those plush chairs, and lithographs of whatever painter the decorator fancies."

I'm sure this chain is going to have just as much extraneous shiat.  It'll just be geared toward a different style.
There's about zero chance of a furniture company getting into the hotel business to *not* supply them with extraneous furnishings.

Those rooms are going to function as 1-part graveyard for discontinued items and 1-part showroom for new ones.
 
2013-03-05 12:16:25 PM

cgraves67: Can I keep the dapper monkey?


So missed a marketable product here. Dapper monkey plush dolls.
 
2013-03-05 12:17:20 PM

CapeFearCadaver: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 600x407]
Sounds relaxing.


Can I have her in my room or do I have to take the 100 cats?
 
2013-03-05 12:17:23 PM
I guess it was just too obvious that you have to make your own beds.
 
2013-03-05 12:18:20 PM
Not too shabby of a headline there Subby.
 
2013-03-05 12:19:05 PM
Well done, Subby, well done.
 
2013-03-05 12:19:57 PM

Crewmannumber6: Don't forget the allen wrench


Read that as "alien" wrench. Which, in context, almost makes more sense.
 
2013-03-05 12:21:38 PM
You say you'll have to pay to assemble your own hotel room furniture out of horse meat and particle board eh?  Sounds no different from their use of forced labor during the Cold War.
 
2013-03-05 12:25:08 PM
What this country really needs is an NRA / Build-a-Bear Workshop merger.
 
2013-03-05 12:26:50 PM
Just how affordable are we talking?
 
2013-03-05 12:38:29 PM
i513.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-05 12:42:39 PM
i100.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-05 12:43:44 PM

DoblerMeyer: [i513.photobucket.com image 605x454]


For all I know, that might as well be a real thing they sell.
 
2013-03-05 12:43:47 PM

ringersol: m00: "you don't need carpet and a couch and those plush chairs, and lithographs of whatever painter the decorator fancies."

I'm sure this chain is going to have just as much extraneous shiat.  It'll just be geared toward a different style.
There's about zero chance of a furniture company getting into the hotel business to *not* supply them with extraneous furnishings.

Those rooms are going to function as 1-part graveyard for discontinued items and 1-part showroom for new ones.


From other articles I've seen about this (I'm pretty sure this was first announced a year or two ago) it's not going to feature anything from Ikea.  The real estate arm of Ikea apparently is pretty successful on its own, and this is just another business opportunity for them.
 
2013-03-05 12:48:17 PM

DoblerMeyer: [i513.photobucket.com image 605x454]


I LOL'd!

/+1 <b>Subby</b>, you win!
//Forgot to pick up Carl.
 
2013-03-05 12:48:24 PM

the_sidewinder: Crewmannumber6: Don't forget the allen wrench

Pfft, I just have a hex set for my drill


As someone who has to assemble Ikea furniture all the time, I can attest to the wisdom of this.

/especially for their heavier shiat.
 
2013-03-05 12:50:40 PM

unlikely: That sounds strangely enticing. Tell me more about the monkey.


THIS. Sounds like it could be a real hoot! How big of a monkey are we talking here?
 
2013-03-05 01:04:22 PM

m00: This makes sense.

When I travel to Norway for work I stay in a temporary apartment. It's all IKEA furnished, and it's pretty bare/undecorated but has everything you need (bed, table, chairs, internet, that stupid black-and-white cow rug, etc). When I go to a hotel in the US or Canada it might run me $100 a night on average, sometimes more sometimes less. But like, you don't need carpet and a couch and those plush chairs, and lithographs of whatever painter the decorator fancies.


this.

i've rented furnished apartments in Paris and Barcelona (five in all) and all of them were furnished with IKEA. might as well stay in an IKEA hotel.

 
2013-03-05 01:55:19 PM

CapeFearCadaver: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 600x407]
Sounds relaxing.


If you wanted to revive THAT one scene from Rocky...

kaufmann-mercantile.com
 
2013-03-05 02:25:32 PM
One other concern I have, is there enough horse meat to feed the monkey and myself as well, or will that be all used up making the room?  Will I have to bring along Purina monkey chow and maybe a hamburger for me?  And the monkey is already described as "well dressed", but you know how monkeys can be, will an extra change of clothes for the monkey be provided?
 
2013-03-05 02:32:01 PM
ajklijs.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-05 02:42:19 PM
No one yet?

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-05 02:49:50 PM

The Angry Hand of God: No one yet?

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 499x710]


I've been waiting! My favorite pic this year. You win the internet. -Subby
 
2013-03-05 05:29:26 PM

ringersol: m00: "you don't need carpet and a couch and those plush chairs, and lithographs of whatever painter the decorator fancies."

I'm sure this chain is going to have just as much extraneous shiat.  It'll just be geared toward a different style.
There's about zero chance of a furniture company getting into the hotel business to *not* supply them with extraneous furnishings.

Those rooms are going to function as 1-part graveyard for discontinued items and 1-part showroom for new ones.


FWIW, Ikea wouldn't be the first to do this.  The last time I was at a Hyatt, I saw a catalog from which you could buy all of the pieces that they use in their rooms--beds, chairs, wall sconces, even the bathroom fixtures.
 
2013-03-05 06:00:52 PM

The Angry Hand of God: No one yet?


Ha, I don't think I've seen that one yet.

+1
 
2013-03-05 06:58:32 PM
and covered with shiat?
 
2013-03-05 07:28:30 PM
Anyone able to answer this?  Was at the local mega ikea this weekend and every single showcase bathroom had a shower stall with just a faucet, a small drain on the floor and a curtain that came within a few inches of the floor between it and the rest.  No raised dividers on the floor, no slope even to try and keep water from spilling out into the rest of the bathroom, just even tile across the whole floor and right into the stall.  Is this a poorly thought-out style thing, unfinished showroom or did they want to go with the cheap dorm-room communal shower look?
 
2013-03-05 08:18:22 PM
I think that every year they should hold a "come to work dressed like the monkey" day for Ikea employees.  Everybody would be issued an oversized faux-sheepskin coat, and they'd get a bonus if they went to the barber and had a buzz-cut.

Then advertise the heck out of it and make it a yearly sales event.  Have "best monkey costume" competitions.  Give away monkey plushie toys.  It would really bring in the business.  I'd drive the four hours to the nearest Ikea just to see a whole store full of people dressed like the monkey.  I bet other people would too.
 
2013-03-05 08:26:05 PM

BumpInTheNight: Anyone able to answer this?  Was at the local mega ikea this weekend and every single showcase bathroom had a shower stall with just a faucet, a small drain on the floor and a curtain that came within a few inches of the floor between it and the rest.  No raised dividers on the floor, no slope even to try and keep water from spilling out into the rest of the bathroom, just even tile across the whole floor and right into the stall.  Is this a poorly thought-out style thing, unfinished showroom or did they want to go with the cheap dorm-room communal shower look?


It looks smoother that way. You know those showerheads in the display sample rooms aren't actually connected to the local water supply, right?
 
2013-03-05 08:47:45 PM

highwayrun: BumpInTheNight: Anyone able to answer this?  Was at the local mega ikea this weekend and every single showcase bathroom had a shower stall with just a faucet, a small drain on the floor and a curtain that came within a few inches of the floor between it and the rest.  No raised dividers on the floor, no slope even to try and keep water from spilling out into the rest of the bathroom, just even tile across the whole floor and right into the stall.  Is this a poorly thought-out style thing, unfinished showroom or did they want to go with the cheap dorm-room communal shower look?

It looks smoother that way. You know those showerheads in the display sample rooms aren't actually connected to the local water supply, right?


But the toilets are, right?
 
2013-03-05 10:04:43 PM
Brings new meaning to "Making your own bed." :-)
 
2013-03-05 10:05:21 PM
Can I throw ducks at balloons?
 
2013-03-05 11:16:16 PM
Having spent many, many weeks in an ikea hotel in almhult, Sweden, I can tell you it was fully furnished with their products. I always expect a sign with the words, "this room for 6000 SEK".

Going back there in a week.
 
2013-03-06 01:13:08 AM

unlikely: That sounds strangely enticing. Tell me more about the monkey.


I know it's a different context, but I knew my wife was "the one" when she said the exact same words to me.
 
2013-03-06 06:50:50 AM

BumpInTheNight: highwayrun: BumpInTheNight: Anyone able to answer this?  Was at the local mega ikea this weekend and every single showcase bathroom had a shower stall with just a faucet, a small drain on the floor and a curtain that came within a few inches of the floor between it and the rest.  No raised dividers on the floor, no slope even to try and keep water from spilling out into the rest of the bathroom, just even tile across the whole floor and right into the stall.  Is this a poorly thought-out style thing, unfinished showroom or did they want to go with the cheap dorm-room communal shower look?

It looks smoother that way. You know those showerheads in the display sample rooms aren't actually connected to the local water supply, right?

But the toilets are, right?


That explains a lot. Oh God.
 
2013-03-06 09:20:22 AM
Does the monkey come with it's own eight-sided hex key?
 
2013-03-06 10:14:52 AM

Ale's well: Does the monkey come with it's own eight-sided hex key?

It's a hex but it's not a key.
 
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