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(Ars Technica)   New SimCity game is a steaming pile of suck   (arstechnica.com) divider line 104
    More: Fail, SimCity, city limits  
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6100 clicks; posted to Geek » on 05 Mar 2013 at 7:49 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-05 07:57:24 AM
Two nerds of a game playing the newest version of that game and then being angry about not beating it the first time through may not be the best way to have a review.
 
2013-03-05 07:58:33 AM
You know what's a steaming pile of suck? Being so farking lazy, talentless, and desperate to be "first" in your stupid farking review that you can't be bothered to distill your goddamn IM conversation into summary.
 
2013-03-05 07:59:52 AM
Steaming?

No, the first step on it's journey to failure was rooted in the idea it MUST NOT be on Steam.
 
2013-03-05 08:02:51 AM
It's from EA, it by definition sucks.  Fark that company, they don't get any of my money.
 
2013-03-05 08:04:49 AM
Penny Arcade Report on why not to trust their own site's review. No one has played the "full game" yet, and are not allowed to actually try out the game on their own terms.
 
2013-03-05 08:06:14 AM
Don't like the tiny city size deal that they were whining about. If accurate, it's a legit whine. No saving so you can experiment a bit kind of breaks the experience of the game too.
 
2013-03-05 08:12:35 AM
Ars Technica used to be a great site. Two people having a dialogue is not a game review.
 
2013-03-05 08:16:50 AM
EA is going to monetize the fark out of this game.  If I was you, I'd start investing in ivory backscratcher companies.
 
2013-03-05 08:23:37 AM
I'm so torn with this game, every fiber of my being tells me not to buy it but every picture of the game makes me want to buy it. It's a new SimCity, but EA, new SimCity, but EA.

Yes I know EA published the old ones too but goddammit they weren't always as evil as they are now. Well yeah they were but still. I really don't know what to think. I know that it is possible for EA to be attached to decent games, I also know that it's very unlikely.
 
2013-03-05 08:30:13 AM
Unless it has Shift+FUNDS I ain't buyin it!
 
2013-03-05 08:32:40 AM
Hmmm, lets see... EA.

EA.

Really? We need someone to tell us that it sucks? I think that's fairly obvious.
 
2013-03-05 08:35:08 AM
Kyle: Yes! One crime per week, and I'm still getting constant alerts that "crime has the upper hand.
Peter: Zero crimes committed per day = "Crime has the upper hand." I don't get it.


SOUNDS FAMILIAR
 
2013-03-05 08:37:58 AM
The tiny city size shown in the last pic is really disappointing. Then again, since I moved from broadband to satellite-ville when I moved to the high desert, an "always connected, online game" is no longer of interest to me. But ... no offline / saving mode? Really?
 
2013-03-05 08:40:30 AM

MurphyMurphy: Steaming?

No, the first step on it's journey to failure was rooted in the idea it MUST NOT be on Steam.


Yes, because I love being locked out of my games anytime a third party program decides that it needs to update.
 
rpm
2013-03-05 08:44:11 AM

Weigard: Two nerds of a game playing the newest version of that game and then being angry about not beating it the first time through may not be the best way to have a review.


FuturePastNow: Ars Technica used to be a great site. Two people having a dialogue is not a game review.


Ya think?

FTFA:What follows are edited excerpts from the various conversations we had over instant messaging this weekend, discussing how we were finding our initial time with the game. We'll have a more detailed review later
 
2013-03-05 08:44:16 AM
Seriously.. the cities are obscenely small. let us build.
 
2013-03-05 08:53:37 AM

StrangeQ: MurphyMurphy: Steaming?

No, the first step on it's journey to failure was rooted in the idea it MUST NOT be on Steam.

Yes, because I love being locked out of my games anytime a third party program decides that it needs to update.



Cant tell if a run of the mill Steam hater or just stupid.

You know what keeps me from playing my games on Steam? A power outage.  Beyond that, not a damn thing.  ProTip: When Steam wants to install an update and you don't want it to and just want to play your game(s)?  Click the Cancel button.  I know that's a whole lot of effort, but it works.
 
2013-03-05 08:54:47 AM
Why would you build curved roads, anyway? The only time that's really ever done is to route around topography, political boundaries (which are often enough one and the same) or for "aesthetics" in the suburbs. Pretty much every city built in the last two centuries is built on a grid for a reason.
 
2013-03-05 08:56:40 AM
Kotaku also has a not-quite-a-review up, where the following gem is discovered:

Other players can screw your city over just by not playing

That's right, SimCity 5 now has griefing.
 
2013-03-05 09:07:05 AM
I didn't like it. The focus from macro to micro has taken something away. In some regard however, it does model regional interactions between cities much better however. It's like they took 3 steps forward and two back.
 
2013-03-05 09:08:15 AM
Love Simcity but still haven't (and wont) forgive EA for making BF3 1 profile per copy. Might purchase it in a few years when its down to 15 bucks.
 
2013-03-05 09:08:48 AM
I ended up pre-ordering it the other day with some coupon code through amazon that knocked 20 bucks off and then i had a couple gift cards for amazon that meant i only actually spent about 10 bucks on the game. i figured 10 bucks was worth the risk that it might suck. I woke up way before work to get some time in on it this morning and it's addictive as hell. only got up to about 100,000 population before my alarm told me it was time to get my ass in the shower but holy crap did that time fly.

The only thing i really don't like so far is not being able to terraform. the first city space i chose has quite a bit of hilly terrain and it renders a large portion of the space totally useless. I'll be starting over on a flatter tract of land now that i figured out most of the basics.

It also sucks not being able to upgrade a high density road to the next road type (avenue?). planning your basic layout before you start is pretty necessary if you don't want to spend a ton of money bulldozing and re-laying a bunch of your main roads. it wouldn't be so bad but if you have any specialized buildings (police, fire, hospital, dump, etc) you have to bulldoze them too and it's just a huge waste of money.

this seems like stuff that is probably due to inexperience with it though. very fun so far at any rate.
 
2013-03-05 09:10:40 AM
And people are already have Diablo III-esque issues with getting on servers.

Do gaming companies try to fark up launches?
 
2013-03-05 09:11:02 AM
From SimCity2000:

Transportation Funding: 100%
Transportation Advisor: Roads are adequate to our cities needs.

Transportation Funding: 95%
Transportation Advisor: YOU CAN'T CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!
 
2013-03-05 09:32:34 AM

Celerian: YOU CAN'T CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!


That guy made that game perfect.  Seriously.
 
2013-03-05 09:49:44 AM

SomeoneDumb: The tiny city size shown in the last pic is really disappointing. Then again, since I moved from broadband to satellite-ville when I moved to the high desert, an "always connected, online game" is no longer of interest to me. But ... no offline / saving mode? Really?


SimCity 5 is designed around the new "Social" concept that EA has been pushing for a while. The reason the cities are so small is because you're supposed to specialize in a particular area, and then connect to neighbors, who are specializing in other areas. So, one person specializes in industry, one in education and residential, one in commercial/business, etc. And you're supposed to share/swap resources (electricity, water, garbage collection), because it was never designed for one city to handle all of that efficiently.

There is, supposedly, a "single-player" mode, but it's essentially that you control all of the cities in an area yourself. (ie. It's like playing a 3-4 person board game by yourself.) I have no idea how that mechanic is supposed to work, or how easy it is to manage, but regardless, it still suffers under the same "always online, no game saving" limitation.
 
2013-03-05 09:50:12 AM
27.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-05 09:53:35 AM
I really dislike games that require a constant internet connection of any type. If I want to miss an update, or never receive one, that should be my choice.
 
2013-03-05 10:03:43 AM

Joe_diGriz: There is, supposedly, a "single-player" mode, but it's essentially that you control all of the cities in an area yourself. (ie. It's like playing a 3-4 person board game by yourself.) I have no idea how that mechanic is supposed to work, or how easy it is to manage, but regardless, it still suffers under the same "always online, no game saving" limitation.


Not as bad as one would think, but not nearly as simple as regional activity in 4
 
2013-03-05 10:06:20 AM

PanicMan: Celerian: YOU CAN'T CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!

That guy made that game perfect.  Seriously.


fark that guy. I could easily cut Fire, Police, Education, Healthcare down to really low levels and everyone was always, "Oh, that's cool. We have enough. We're doing pretty good." You take away even a little bit from the transportation budget, even if you have one 1X1 square of road and he flips his shiat.

"POTHOLES WILL BE HAD! ROADSIGNS WILL GET ERECTED LESS EFFICIENTLY! BUSES WILL BE 5 MINUTES LATE, ALL OVER TOWN!!!!"
 
2013-03-05 10:13:38 AM

Celerian: PanicMan: Celerian: YOU CAN'T CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!

That guy made that game perfect.  Seriously.

fark that guy. I could easily cut Fire, Police, Education, Healthcare down to really low levels and everyone was always, "Oh, that's cool. We have enough. We're doing pretty good." You take away even a little bit from the transportation budget, even if you have one 1X1 square of road and he flips his shiat.

"POTHOLES WILL BE HAD! ROADSIGNS WILL GET ERECTED LESS EFFICIENTLY! BUSES WILL BE 5 MINUTES LATE, ALL OVER TOWN!!!!"


Of course if you left funding out for any significant period of time, your roads would explode (there was only one 'decay' sound effect).
 
2013-03-05 10:14:58 AM

Epicedion: Celerian: PanicMan: Celerian: YOU CAN'T CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!

That guy made that game perfect.  Seriously.

fark that guy. I could easily cut Fire, Police, Education, Healthcare down to really low levels and everyone was always, "Oh, that's cool. We have enough. We're doing pretty good." You take away even a little bit from the transportation budget, even if you have one 1X1 square of road and he flips his shiat.

"POTHOLES WILL BE HAD! ROADSIGNS WILL GET ERECTED LESS EFFICIENTLY! BUSES WILL BE 5 MINUTES LATE, ALL OVER TOWN!!!!"

Of course if you left funding out for any significant period of time, your roads would explode (there was only one 'decay' sound effect).


Really? I did not know this.
 
2013-03-05 10:17:37 AM

Celerian: Epicedion: Celerian: PanicMan: Celerian: YOU CAN'T CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!

That guy made that game perfect.  Seriously.

fark that guy. I could easily cut Fire, Police, Education, Healthcare down to really low levels and everyone was always, "Oh, that's cool. We have enough. We're doing pretty good." You take away even a little bit from the transportation budget, even if you have one 1X1 square of road and he flips his shiat.

"POTHOLES WILL BE HAD! ROADSIGNS WILL GET ERECTED LESS EFFICIENTLY! BUSES WILL BE 5 MINUTES LATE, ALL OVER TOWN!!!!"

Of course if you left funding out for any significant period of time, your roads would explode (there was only one 'decay' sound effect).

Really? I did not know this.


Thats why in the first version, and some there after, I just refused to build roads.  Roads were just a farking annoyance as traffic was always the biggest biatch.  Just build rail.
 
2013-03-05 10:17:54 AM

Celerian: Really? I did not know this.


Yeah, if you left even one cent out of the transportation budget, your roads would randomly turn to rubble. I think it was some sort of commentary on the 80's and 90's trend for cities to skimp on road maintenance.
 
2013-03-05 10:23:59 AM

wingnut396: Thats why in the first version, and some there after, I just refused to build roads. Roads were just a farking annoyance as traffic was always the biggest biatch. Just build rail.


I remember playing it on the Super Nintendo and trying to maximize the population on the intro map. I played for almost 6 months before I finally ditched roads and did rail only.
 
2013-03-05 10:40:33 AM

Slam Dunkz: It's from EA, it by definition sucks.  Fark that company, they don't get any of my money.


you hear they're shutting down the dead space franchise rather than try to make improvements to the franchise they've milked to death? EA has a long history of doing stuff like that
 
2013-03-05 10:42:22 AM
i.somethingawful.com
 
2013-03-05 10:42:50 AM
City size is way too small.
Always online DRM is annoying.
Incoming mountain of DLC will be irritating.

Other than that. It's a great farking game and the whiny haters can eat a bag of penis.
 
2013-03-05 10:52:55 AM

TheOriginalEd: Seriously.. the cities are obscenely small. let us build.


I saw the screenshots and thought,"SimCity? More like SimNeighborhood."
 
2013-03-05 10:57:52 AM

crab66: City size is way too small.
Always online DRM is annoying.
Incoming mountain of DLC will be irritating.

Other than that. It's a great farking game and the whiny haters can eat a bag of penis.


I figured the game would be fun as hell, despite the standard crap about DRM, Origin, and EA. I always felt like the earlier SimCity games (loved SC2000) didn't do a great job with city diversity since there was always some optimal configuration that usually involved flattening all the terrain so you could set up 6x6 grids of everything. You'd never produce anything that looked like an actual town. This really looks like a game in which your city, however small and online it is, will inevitably have some character.
 
2013-03-05 11:05:55 AM

AdamK: you hear they're shutting down the dead space franchise rather than try to make improvements to the franchise they've milked to death? EA has a long history of doing stuff like that


That's a shame.  I haven't played DS3, but I did like DS1 and 2.  They weren't ground breaking games, but they were decent fun.
 
2013-03-05 11:06:10 AM

Weigard: Two nerds of a game playing the newest version of that game and then being angry about not beating it the first time through may not be the best way to have a review.


Beating it? I don't think you've ever played a Maxis game.
 
2013-03-05 11:08:53 AM

PonceAlyosha: Penny Arcade Report on why not to trust their own site's review. No one has played the "full game" yet, and are not allowed to actually try out the game on their own terms.


Social features won't fix basic errors like "my city is tiny and can only hold 200,000 people". There is no fix for that. It is a design flaw.
 
2013-03-05 11:11:59 AM

TheOriginalEd: Seriously.. the cities are obscenely small. let us build.


I really don't understand how anyone who has ever played a video game doesn't have this first thought when looking at the game.

Does EA not employ people who actually play games?
 
2013-03-05 11:13:57 AM

Bullseyed: Social features won't fix basic errors like "my city is tiny and can only hold 200,000 people". There is no fix for that. It is a design flaw.


I'm wondering if that's really a flaw. It could certainly be a design choice, but to be fair previous Sim City games haven't exactly been about carefully styling a city and learning its ins and outs -- they've mostly been about perfecting a segment and moving on to add new segments in a logical fashion. The fact that a place is smaller and more personal might be a bonus, since I don't have a single old Sim City map that stands out in my memory, just a vague recollection of repetitive grids.
 
2013-03-05 11:17:00 AM
Joe_diGriz:
SimCity 5 is designed around the new "Social" concept that EA has been pushing for a while.

Yeah, I get that.

I think, also, that EA and all the other designers saw the bucket loads of continual income that Blizzard was getting with WoW and decided that was the way to please shareholders, thus leading to modern gaming. I still like single player games and don't always want to hook up with people online to play them.
 
2013-03-05 11:21:51 AM

Celerian: PanicMan: Celerian: YOU CAN'T CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!

That guy made that game perfect.  Seriously.

fark that guy. I could easily cut Fire, Police, Education, Healthcare down to really low levels and everyone was always, "Oh, that's cool. We have enough. We're doing pretty good." You take away even a little bit from the transportation budget, even if you have one 1X1 square of road and he flips his shiat.

"POTHOLES WILL BE HAD! ROADSIGNS WILL GET ERECTED LESS EFFICIENTLY! BUSES WILL BE 5 MINUTES LATE, ALL OVER TOWN!!!!"


STOP HITTING THE TORNADO BUTTON, YOU CHUCKLEFARK
 
2013-03-05 11:29:22 AM
This really seems like SimTown. At least they seem to have fixed the problem where little Susie would wander through the rubble of the building you'd just demolished, thus preventing you from placing down a new one until she, and every other lollygagger, had all simultaneously taken a break in sauntering through the place.
 
2013-03-05 11:31:28 AM

TheBlackrose: Celerian: PanicMan: Celerian: YOU CAN'T CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!

That guy made that game perfect.  Seriously.

fark that guy. I could easily cut Fire, Police, Education, Healthcare down to really low levels and everyone was always, "Oh, that's cool. We have enough. We're doing pretty good." You take away even a little bit from the transportation budget, even if you have one 1X1 square of road and he flips his shiat.

"POTHOLES WILL BE HAD! ROADSIGNS WILL GET ERECTED LESS EFFICIENTLY! BUSES WILL BE 5 MINUTES LATE, ALL OVER TOWN!!!!"

STOP HITTING THE TORNADO BUTTON, YOU CHUCKLEFARK


RETICULATING SPLINES!
 
2013-03-05 11:35:34 AM

Harbinger of the Doomed Rat: StrangeQ: MurphyMurphy: Steaming?

No, the first step on it's journey to failure was rooted in the idea it MUST NOT be on Steam.

Yes, because I love being locked out of my games anytime a third party program decides that it needs to update.


Cant tell if a run of the mill Steam hater or just stupid.

You know what keeps me from playing my games on Steam? A power outage.  Beyond that, not a damn thing.  ProTip: When Steam wants to install an update and you don't want it to and just want to play your game(s)?  Click the Cancel button.  I know that's a whole lot of effort, but it works.


Can't tell if stupid run of the mill Steam user or...wait, yes I can.

Try it.  Next time Steam wants to update your game and you don't want it to, hit cancel and try to play.  See what happens.
 
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