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(Daily Mail)   Pop quiz hotshot. The elevator door opens and one man is choking another to death. You have a cell phone, a man bag, and your car keys. What do you do?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 268
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17586 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 8:25 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-04 07:38:23 PM
I check dictionary.com on my cell phone for the definition of "man bag"
 
2013-03-04 07:38:58 PM
Take a picture.

Upload to Fark.

Post a thread asking "Wat do?"
 
2013-03-04 07:41:41 PM
pee on them
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:42:20 PM
Kick the attacker in the head.
 
2013-03-04 07:42:21 PM
Keep going wherever I was going.

/ pretty far past giving a shiat anymore
 
2013-03-04 07:42:21 PM
www.platypuscomix.net
 
2013-03-04 07:42:23 PM
Swing the man bag as a modified flail.  Take the cell phone, use it as a fist weight and punch the choker.  If the car keys are on a chain, you can use that to flail at the choker--eye level.  Or you take the car keys and use that as a eye-gouging implement.
If you don't want to use your items as tools of pain, a good strike to the shin might do the job.
 
2013-03-04 07:43:00 PM
Shoot the hostage.
 
2013-03-04 07:43:58 PM
Masturbate furiously.
 
2013-03-04 07:44:15 PM
I break it up.
 
2013-03-04 07:44:36 PM
Watch until the doors close then take the stairs!
 
2013-03-04 07:44:38 PM

violentsalvation: Shoot the hostage.

I came in to post:
silentstephi.com
 
2013-03-04 07:45:16 PM
leave the cell phone, cross the river with the man bag and the car keys, leave the keys on the other side, go back with the bag and get the phone and take them both back.
 
2013-03-04 07:45:45 PM
KICK THEM IN THE TESIBULLS!
 
2013-03-04 07:46:04 PM
Subby,

What are you smoking? Can I get some?
 
2013-03-04 07:46:47 PM
Take the stairs.
 
2013-03-04 07:47:02 PM
Wait...which floor are they going to?
 
2013-03-04 07:47:31 PM
Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

img.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-04 07:47:43 PM
Throw them both down the well and pee on them.
 
2013-03-04 07:48:07 PM
I saw that video on Gawker. I'd probably start screaming and call 911 at the same time.
 
2013-03-04 07:48:21 PM
IM THE PEE-ER DANGIT
 
2013-03-04 07:48:31 PM

I_C_Weener: Wait...which floor are they going to?


The Thirteenth.
 
2013-03-04 07:48:48 PM
FLASH YER BEWBS!
 
2013-03-04 07:49:28 PM

Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!


THAT'S YOUR ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING
 
2013-03-04 07:49:54 PM
wait for the next elevator.
 
2013-03-04 07:50:00 PM

Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!


Good answer!
 
2013-03-04 07:50:04 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

THAT'S YOUR ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING


That is the answer to everything.
 
2013-03-04 07:52:00 PM

Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!


*note to self, find where Blushing Wall Flower works, wait in elevator with accomplice for her to arrive*
 
2013-03-04 07:52:21 PM
Quickly jump in the elevator and press the buttons for every floor and then run out and laugh and then pull my cell phone out of my man purse and call a psychic and ask him "guess what I just saw"
 
2013-03-04 07:52:21 PM
Fix the cable.
 
2013-03-04 07:52:23 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

THAT'S YOUR ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING


*snort* You wish!

Linkster: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

Good answer!


\o/
 
2013-03-04 07:52:25 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

THAT'S YOUR ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING


The liters are going to think you are a questionable lady now lol
 
2013-03-04 07:52:27 PM

Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!


That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!
 
2013-03-04 07:52:32 PM
I'd annex the Sudetenland and sign a non-aggression pact with Russia
 
2013-03-04 07:52:33 PM

Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!


Something will be choked.
 
2013-03-04 07:53:43 PM

LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!


Well, looks like I've got a new term to GIS.
 
2013-03-04 07:54:27 PM

SirVagTheTighty: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

THAT'S YOUR ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING

The liters are going to think you are a questionable lady now lol


I wasn't talking about *my* boobs, now was I? :P
 
2013-03-04 07:55:01 PM
I pull a delicious pastrami on rye out of my man-bear-pig and I offer it to the choker.

The chokee gets a sip of my delicious Ecto Cooler.
 
2013-03-04 07:55:19 PM

LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!


And I disagree. Nothing hynotizes a man like an unbalanced pair of boobs. They can't look away, it's like watching a trainwreck with nipples.
 
2013-03-04 07:55:32 PM

LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

[img.photobucket.com image 139x192]


LOL! If that wont freak the attacker out I don't know what will.
 
2013-03-04 07:55:41 PM

I_C_Weener: LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!

Well, looks like I've got a new term to GIS.


Also include Walleyed!
 
2013-03-04 07:56:11 PM
My eyes are up here Michael!
 
2013-03-04 07:56:21 PM
immediately begin cpr.
 
2013-03-04 07:56:33 PM

Linkster: I_C_Weener: LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!

Well, looks like I've got a new term to GIS.

Also include Walleyed!


Oh god.  It's like Picasso threw up on RedTube.
 
2013-03-04 07:56:49 PM

I_C_Weener: LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!

Well, looks like I've got a new term to GIS.


That GIS is surprisingly mostly safe for work.
 
2013-03-04 07:56:51 PM

SirVagTheTighty: The liters are going to think you are a questionable lady now lol


I DON'T HAVE TO BE OBJECTIFIED LIKE THIS


Yuri Futanari: That is the answer to everything.


I thought 42 was the answer?


Blushing Wall Flower: *snort* You wish!


No, I wished that I had the ability to fly.

It didn't even work.  I can't even jump very high.

*sad face*
 
2013-03-04 07:56:55 PM

atlfarkette: LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

[img.photobucket.com image 139x192]

LOL! If that wont freak the attacker out I don't know what will.


I'd love to see any man that would not shriek like a girl and stop whatever he is doing if that happened.
 
2013-03-04 07:57:23 PM

Blushing Wall Flower: it's like watching a trainwreck with nipples.


Farkied.
 
2013-03-04 07:57:56 PM

SilentStrider: I_C_Weener: LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!

Well, looks like I've got a new term to GIS.

That GIS is surprisingly mostly safe for work.


I know.  But they didn't!!!  Way to ruin everything!
 
2013-03-04 07:57:58 PM

LlamaGirl: My eyes are up here Michael!


I like care
 
2013-03-04 07:58:08 PM

LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.



Oh, c'mon.

You probably shouldn't rag on the attacker.
 
2013-03-04 08:00:03 PM

I_C_Weener: SilentStrider: I_C_Weener: LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!

Well, looks like I've got a new term to GIS.

That GIS is surprisingly mostly safe for work.

I know.  But they didn't!!!  Way to ruin everything!


Well that's what you get for not making sure I get the memos.
 
2013-03-04 08:00:06 PM

LlamaGirl: atlfarkette: LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

[img.photobucket.com image 139x192]

LOL! If that wont freak the attacker out I don't know what will.

I'd love to see any man that would not shriek like a girl and stop whatever he is doing if that happened.


Or even better if it was a pad. Just stick that thing to his face. He ain't fighting no more!

/we're disgusting
 
2013-03-04 08:00:30 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.


Oh, c'mon.

You probably shouldn't rag on the attacker.


She's going with the flow.  It's not her problem if the attacker sees red.
 
2013-03-04 08:00:34 PM
media.screened.com
 
2013-03-04 08:01:37 PM

atlfarkette: LlamaGirl: atlfarkette: LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

[img.photobucket.com image 139x192]

LOL! If that wont freak the attacker out I don't know what will.

I'd love to see any man that would not shriek like a girl and stop whatever he is doing if that happened.

Or even better if it was a pad. Just stick that thing to his face. He ain't fighting no more!

/we're disgusting


Take that Batman!  There is a pair of new super heroines in town.  Maxi Pad and Tampon Girl.
 
2013-03-04 08:01:52 PM

LlamaGirl:


Lmao!!
 
2013-03-04 08:02:18 PM

LlamaGirl: [media.screened.com image 291x423]


I see what you did over there.  And over here.
 
2013-03-04 08:03:36 PM

I_C_Weener: Take that Batman!  There is a pair of new super heroines in town.  Maxi Pad and Tampon Girl.


hahahaha oh ewwww
 
2013-03-04 08:03:45 PM

LlamaGirl: [media.screened.com image 291x423]


well played
 
2013-03-04 08:04:27 PM

I_C_Weener: Take that Batman! There is a pair of new super heroines in town. Maxi Pad and Tampon Girl.


well there goes my plan for a life of crime.
 
2013-03-04 08:05:21 PM

SilentStrider: I_C_Weener: Take that Batman! There is a pair of new super heroines in town. Maxi Pad and Tampon Girl.

well there goes my plan for a life of crime.


And you'll be in jail all due to a period.
 
2013-03-04 08:05:22 PM
Kiss my grits, Magic Doorknob.
 
2013-03-04 08:06:45 PM
Scream "Kalima" repeatedly and rip out the attacker's heart.
 
2013-03-04 08:09:45 PM

eyeq360: SilentStrider: I_C_Weener: Take that Batman! There is a pair of new super heroines in town. Maxi Pad and Tampon Girl.

well there goes my plan for a life of crime.

And you'll be in jail all due to a period.


Actually, it was a comma that he was missing.
 
2013-03-04 08:11:41 PM
Fighting crime with vagoo blood.
 
2013-03-04 08:12:06 PM

atlfarkette: Fighting crime with vagoo blood.


*hifive*
 
2013-03-04 08:13:08 PM
Spray my man chowder on your mom?
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 08:14:53 PM

atlfarkette: Fighting crime with vagoo blood.


GIVING ANAL BY DAYLIGHT

I AM THE ONE CALLED SAILOR POON

yeah I have way too much time on my hand.
 
2013-03-04 08:18:22 PM

eyeq360: She's going with the flow.


Indeed.

Hers is a more improvised form of combat.  She just kinda wings it.
 
2013-03-04 08:19:17 PM
I'd fire them both.
 
2013-03-04 08:19:41 PM

PC LOAD LETTER: Spray my man chowder on your mom?


No.

You take that back. Right now.
 
2013-03-04 08:21:44 PM
If the criminal is quick, he can Stayfree.
/When will the puns end?
 
2013-03-04 08:26:26 PM

Blushing Wall Flower: PC LOAD LETTER: Spray my man chowder on your mom?

No.

You take that back. Right now.


I'm pretty sure that's stuff that doesn't go back. Its like toothpaste.
 
2013-03-04 08:27:02 PM

UsikFark: [www.platypuscomix.net image 360x268]


Right in the man-bag.
 
2013-03-04 08:28:19 PM

eyeq360: If the criminal is quick, he can Stayfree.


How long could he be on the loose?

Always.


THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!!!
 
2013-03-04 08:28:53 PM
Really, though. If you see some dude choking out another in the elevator, it's probably best to just wait for the next elevator.
 
2013-03-04 08:29:01 PM
This thread just got greenlit and will be on the main page.  I wonder what the liters will make of all of this stuff?
 
2013-03-04 08:30:16 PM
Knock both of them unconscious, grab the wallets and walk away nonchalantly.

/was kicked in the man bag once.
 
2013-03-04 08:32:19 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-04 08:34:03 PM
I'd take out my cellphone and call the cops and then give the chokee some words of encouragement like "the cops will be here in about 20 minutes. See if you can hang on until then."
 
2013-03-04 08:34:54 PM

monty666: Quickly jump in the elevator and press the buttons for every floor and then run out and laugh and then pull my cell phone out of my man purse and call a psychic and ask him "guess what I just saw"


I see you took my answer.  I did that once.  Except for the last part.  That was dumb.
 
2013-03-04 08:35:39 PM

LlamaGirl: atlfarkette: LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

[img.photobucket.com image 139x192]

LOL! If that wont freak the attacker out I don't know what will.

I'd love to see any man that would not shriek like a girl and stop whatever he is doing if that happened.


Probably drop his man bag too.
 
2013-03-04 08:36:35 PM
Take the stairs.
 
2013-03-04 08:40:19 PM
Maybe the guy being choked needed choking.
 
2013-03-04 08:40:21 PM
take advantage of a captive audience, hand out some Jehovah's Witness tracts, find out if they have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour
 
2013-03-04 08:41:12 PM
Pull out my weenier start wacking off.
(choking freak)
 
2013-03-04 08:41:32 PM
I probably stare blankly for a little while. I'm not all that good under pressure.
 
2013-03-04 08:41:52 PM
www.chud.com
Choking is what you do when you eat chicken wings too fast.  What were talking about here is  STRANGLING.
 
2013-03-04 08:42:25 PM

martid4: Knock both of them unconscious, grab the wallets and walk away nonchalantly.


Took 80 posts to get it right.  Fark, I am disappoint!
 
2013-03-04 08:46:00 PM
Take the next elevator.
 
2013-03-04 08:46:56 PM

10.0.0.1: monty666: Quickly jump in the elevator and press the buttons for every floor and then run out and laugh and then pull my cell phone out of my man purse and call a psychic and ask him "guess what I just saw"

I see you took my answer.  I did that once.  Except for the last part.  That was dumb.


Yeah. I was just trying to work the phone into it but I ran out of brains.
 
2013-03-04 08:47:41 PM

orclover: Choking is what you do when you eat chicken wings too fast.  What were talking about here is  STRANGLING.


Holy poop you're right. I've been saying it wrong for years.
 
2013-03-04 08:47:44 PM
Drink the rest of my whiskey.

And wipe the coke off my nose.

And the tampon thing.

/counting on a slow elevator
 
2013-03-04 08:47:53 PM

FARK rebel soldier: [25.media.tumblr.com image 360x272]


I've always wondered if that was real.  I hope it is.
 
2013-03-04 08:50:37 PM

eyeq360: This thread just got greenlit and will be on the main page.  I wonder what the liters will make of all of this stuff?


Me no understand what happen
 
2013-03-04 08:50:39 PM

megarian: Drink the rest of my whiskey.

And wipe the coke off my nose.

And the tampon thing.

/counting on a slow elevator


You've got a lot in your man bag.

I guess it'd just be a purse in your case.
 
2013-03-04 08:51:30 PM

FARK rebel soldier: [25.media.tumblr.com image 360x272]


I may have trained her.
 
GBB
2013-03-04 08:51:47 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk

Isn't this the default now?
 
2013-03-04 08:52:40 PM

monty666: Quickly jump in the elevator and press the buttons for every floor and then run out and laugh and then pull my cell phone out of my man purse and call a psychic and ask him "guess what I just saw"


My god, man. That is the best answer yet.
 
2013-03-04 08:53:03 PM
I search the area for traps, hidden doors and compartments.
 
2013-03-04 08:53:47 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Take the stairs.


That's what the card said.
 
2013-03-04 08:54:48 PM
I attack the darkness.
 
2013-03-04 08:55:09 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: megarian: Drink the rest of my whiskey.

And wipe the coke off my nose.

And the tampon thing.

/counting on a slow elevator

You've got a lot in your man bag.

I guess it'd just be a purse in your case.


There's not an ENTIRE man in my bag. Just parts. And a fifth. And some blow.

Oh....OH! I read that wrong.
 
2013-03-04 08:55:36 PM
This could be a very dangerous experiment.

Don't try this at home, folks.
 
2013-03-04 08:56:46 PM

caddisfly: FARK rebel soldier: [25.media.tumblr.com image 360x272]

I've always wondered if that was real.  I hope it is.


A real attacker wouldn't put his arm around her shoulder then pause briefly like that to perfectly set himself up for a belly-to-back suplex.
 
2013-03-04 08:58:53 PM
Put the victim's hands on my neck, choke the choker, get a real circlejerk going.
 
2013-03-04 08:59:09 PM
Pull out my pocket knife and stab the attacker in an artery.

And I know just where to cut.  Thanks, Bones!

whatculture.com
 
2013-03-04 08:59:53 PM

megarian: There's not an ENTIRE man in my bag. Just parts. And a fifth. And some blow.


You've got man parts in your bag to blow?

megarian: Oh....OH! I read that wrong.


Come to think of it, maybe I should carry a bag. All I can carry without one is a flask.
 
2013-03-04 09:00:48 PM

SilentStrider: Blushing Wall Flower: PC LOAD LETTER: Spray my man chowder on your mom?

No.

You take that back. Right now.

I'm pretty sure that's stuff that doesn't go back. Its like toothpaste.


Wow. You outdid me. By leagues.
 
2013-03-04 09:01:47 PM
I lol'd at the girl swinging her sweatshirt at the guy. Did she confuse him for being on fire?
 
2013-03-04 09:02:58 PM

PC LOAD LETTER: SilentStrider: Blushing Wall Flower: PC LOAD LETTER: Spray my man chowder on your mom?

No.

You take that back. Right now.

I'm pretty sure that's stuff that doesn't go back. Its like toothpaste.

Wow. You outdid me. By leagues.



Hear here!
 
2013-03-04 09:04:38 PM
posting to say hi to my TC friends...hiiii gw llama blushing everyone!
 
2013-03-04 09:04:40 PM

UsikFark: [www.platypuscomix.net image 360x268]


THAT'S MY PURSE!


Kumana Wanalaia: I attack the darkness.


Attack the gazebo.
 
2013-03-04 09:05:38 PM
i127.photobucket.com
Start strangling the dude strangling the other dude

/There can be only one
 
2013-03-04 09:05:57 PM

Silentbob768768: posting to say hi to my TC friends...hiiii gw llama blushing everyone!


WOOOOOOOO!!!!!
 
2013-03-04 09:06:07 PM

megarian: Drink the rest of my whiskey.

And wipe the coke off my nose.

And the tampon thing.

/counting on a slow elevator


Close. Drink the liquor and then show them your toes.
 
2013-03-04 09:06:07 PM
So... what would have happened to the pranksters if one of these people was carrying?  Or did they make sure to do this in a gun-free zone?
 
2013-03-04 09:06:11 PM

Kumana Wanalaia: I attack the darkness.


I put on my robe and wizard hat
 
2013-03-04 09:06:19 PM
Beat em both down with the emergency phone, take their shiat, push all the buttons and run.
 
2013-03-04 09:09:37 PM
Wait. This one of those "both sides are bad" questions like in the Fark Politics tab, isn't it?
 
2013-03-04 09:11:30 PM
Be funny if they tried this in Texas.
 
2013-03-04 09:11:39 PM

redoctober65: I'd annex the Sudetenland and sign a non-aggression pact with Russia


I think that was the Carpet Biter.
 
2013-03-04 09:12:59 PM
so uh, what happens when a prankster like this stumbles upon someone with a conceal carry permit, that just shoots the attacker?
 
2013-03-04 09:15:08 PM
I allow a slight grin to decorate my weathered countenance, reaching immediately for the button securing my jeans; using slight but sure movements to overcome the friction imposed by my earthen girth, I allow them to note my commando-style lack of undergarments, and then begin the  pelvic thrusting.
 
2013-03-04 09:15:54 PM

Kumana Wanalaia: I search the area for traps, hidden doors and compartments.


I like your answer
 
2013-03-04 09:16:04 PM

MBK: Kick the attacker in the head.


Kicking the attacker and hitting the emergency button were the first thoughts I had.

/from my limited experience breaking up fights aim for the balls
 
2013-03-04 09:16:19 PM
Considering if I'm carrying my man bag it has a gun in it, it could very well have ended poorly for someone.  In this situation it would be hard to tell who was truly the aggressor however, so while I would have considered pulling, I equally as likely would have just kicked the sheet out of the guy choking the other guy and made sure they stayed separated until the cops got there.
 
2013-03-04 09:16:56 PM

FARK rebel soldier: [25.media.tumblr.com image 360x272]


I can only imagine she rotated backwards out of that wrestler's bridge and landed with a heel in his eye.
 
2013-03-04 09:18:25 PM
I shoot myself for thinking of something I own as a "man bag".

/if you have to "man" something's name, the problem wasn't the thing's name
 
2013-03-04 09:19:03 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk

The 5th Seinfeld Member
 
2013-03-04 09:19:41 PM

UsikFark: FARK rebel soldier: [25.media.tumblr.com image 360x272]

I can only imagine she rotated backwards out of that wrestler's bridge and landed with a heel in his eye.


I forgot to add: her pelvic floor could rip your dick off.
 
2013-03-04 09:20:36 PM

ArcadianRefugee: I shoot myself for thinking of something I own as a "man bag".

/if you have to "man" something's name, the problem wasn't the thing's name


What about mangria? It's sangria with vodka added so that red wine goes further!

/yes I am annoyed by Carolla's schtick
 
2013-03-04 09:21:32 PM

IamAwake: so uh, what happens when a prankster like this stumbles upon someone with a conceal carry permit, that just shoots the attacker?


Something along these lines. I don't mean to sound all ITG, but I'd kinda welcome the opportunity to kill someone without consequence. A quick kick to the throat can be difficult to survive, especially if you follow up properly.
 
2013-03-04 09:21:49 PM
My "man bag" has a 10mm in it. So this doesn't end well for these "pranksters".
 
2013-03-04 09:21:51 PM
Hey, is that toilet paper on your shoe?

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-03-04 09:22:05 PM
I'd call 911 and start filming.  Until Llamagirl showed up, at which point I would get the hell out of dodge before I got hit with a tampon.
 
2013-03-04 09:23:10 PM
Absolutely, perfectly 100% understandable to just walk away.  Being unable to pass a piss test, being high in general, outstanding warrant (hell even if it's traffic), or just hating the police are all good reasons I could see someone walking away from this.
 
2013-03-04 09:24:33 PM
"Sorry Senator, I see you're busy. I'll get the next one."
 
2013-03-04 09:25:31 PM
You get in that farkin elevator and start helping to choke the guy out. He must have done something to deserve it right?...
 
2013-03-04 09:25:53 PM
Turn around and find another lift. Peeples are cray. I doan need more.
 
2013-03-04 09:28:43 PM

arentol: My "man bag" has a 10mm in it. So this doesn't end well for these "pranksters".


10mm is kind of small for a testicle's diameter... and there should be more than one.
 
2013-03-04 09:29:16 PM

Delay: megarian: Drink the rest of my whiskey.

And wipe the coke off my nose.

And the tampon thing.

/counting on a slow elevator

Close. Drink the liquor and then show them your toes.


Okay. Just got them done.
 
2013-03-04 09:29:28 PM

OtherLittleGuy: Fix the cable.


Don't be fatuous, OtherLittleGuy.
 
2013-03-04 09:29:36 PM
No one had a gun?
 
2013-03-04 09:29:57 PM

SilentStrider: I'm pretty sure that's stuff that doesn't go back. Its like toothpaste.


You should see a doctor about that.  Yesterday.
 
2013-03-04 09:30:01 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: megarian: There's not an ENTIRE man in my bag. Just parts. And a fifth. And some blow.

You've got man parts in your bag to blow?

megarian: Oh....OH! I read that wrong.

Come to think of it, maybe I should carry a bag. All I can carry without one is a flask.


Exaaaaaaaactly.
 
2013-03-04 09:30:35 PM

davidshi123: Absolutely, perfectly 100% understandable to just walk away.  Being unable to pass a piss test, being high in general, outstanding warrant (hell even if it's traffic), or just hating the police are all good reasons I could see someone walking away from this.


I have been out of this world and interacted with cops before, when you are white-knighting IRL they seem to side with you (or me, but I'm a white male in my late 20's). Drunk driver plowed some people through a median and took off. 5 minutes earlier when the guy nearly put us over the side of the railing we called the cops to report it. We called them again with the mile marker number and waited and gave a report. Did I mention how farked up we were?

That being said I would hope I would kick the guy in the head a couple of times like I'm Sebastion Janikowski, drag him out of the elevator, and wait. One wouldn't get charged for kicking someone try to take another's life, right?
 
cjo [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 09:32:59 PM

Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!


Allow a ride on the motorboat?
 
2013-03-04 09:33:15 PM
Beat the attacker until he stops, then kick the everloving shiat out of both douchebags when I find out it's a prank.
 
2013-03-04 09:33:40 PM

Altitude5280: No one had a gun?


That reminds me, where I grew up the local Federal Building had a particular elevator door with a bullet-dent in it from a 9mm. An elevator door will easily stop small-arms fire at point blank range.
 
2013-03-04 09:35:37 PM

megarian: I May Be Crazy But...: megarian: There's not an ENTIRE man in my bag. Just parts. And a fifth. And some blow.

You've got man parts in your bag to blow?

megarian: Oh....OH! I read that wrong.

Come to think of it, maybe I should carry a bag. All I can carry without one is a flask.

Exaaaaaaaactly.


Oh well, guess I'll just have to stay home and drink.

In a completely non-alcoholic way, of course.
 
2013-03-04 09:35:57 PM

Fast Moon: So... what would have happened to the pranksters if one of these people was carrying crying?


get a lap dance?

 
2013-03-04 09:37:37 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: megarian: I May Be Crazy But...: megarian: There's not an ENTIRE man in my bag. Just parts. And a fifth. And some blow.

You've got man parts in your bag to blow?

megarian: Oh....OH! I read that wrong.

Come to think of it, maybe I should carry a bag. All I can carry without one is a flask.

Exaaaaaaaactly.

Oh well, guess I'll just have to stay home and drink.

In a completely non-alcoholic way, of course.


Of course. Cheers! In a non-alcoholic way...
 
2013-03-04 09:38:05 PM

neuroflare: davidshi123: Absolutely, perfectly 100% understandable to just walk away.  Being unable to pass a piss test, being high in general, outstanding warrant (hell even if it's traffic), or just hating the police are all good reasons I could see someone walking away from this.

I have been out of this world and interacted with cops before, when you are white-knighting IRL they seem to side with you (or me, but I'm a white male in my late 20's). Drunk driver plowed some people through a median and took off. 5 minutes earlier when the guy nearly put us over the side of the railing we called the cops to report it. We called them again with the mile marker number and waited and gave a report. Did I mention how farked up we were?

That being said I would hope I would kick the guy in the head a couple of times like I'm Sebastion Janikowski, drag him out of the elevator, and wait. One wouldn't get charged for kicking someone try to take another's life, right?


In my experience the cops will typically shake your hand even if you're drunk and kick an attacker in the balls repeatedly.

They're also pretty nice if you're drunk and help with first aid until they show up though. Being white may help.
 
2013-03-04 09:39:27 PM
Since I have a 'man bag', I would obviously raise my hands to head level, shake them repeatedly left-to-right, screaming like a little girl, while peeing my pants.
 
2013-03-04 09:40:35 PM
www.wearysloth.com


Shoot zem. Shoot zem both.
 
2013-03-04 09:41:40 PM
 
2013-03-04 09:42:21 PM

megarian: Delay: megarian: Drink the rest of my whiskey.

And wipe the coke off my nose.

And the tampon thing.

/counting on a slow elevator

Close. Drink the liquor and then show them your toes.

Okay. Just got them done.


Is it time to shower?
 
2013-03-04 09:44:35 PM
Shoot the victim in the knee?
 
2013-03-04 09:46:36 PM

Delay: megarian: Delay: megarian: Drink the rest of my whiskey.

And wipe the coke off my nose.

And the tampon thing.

/counting on a slow elevator

Close. Drink the liquor and then show them your toes.

Okay. Just got them done.

Is it time to shower?


That depends. Are you contributing to the reduction of my student loans?

Oh wait. Wrong thread. Kind of.
 
2013-03-04 09:49:06 PM
Yell the "safe" word.
 
2013-03-04 09:51:39 PM
Wait til an open carrier sees this "prank".
 
2013-03-04 09:52:31 PM

megarian: That depends. Are you contributing to the reduction of my student loans?

Oh wait. Wrong thread. Kind of.


Not that I know of. But, then again you may be an intern.
 
2013-03-04 09:53:21 PM
Good thing the Walmart guy wasn't there.  He would've shot him so that the police can identify him easier.
 
2013-03-04 09:54:15 PM

arentol: My "man bag" has a 10mm in it. So this doesn't end well for these "pranksters".


Oooooh! Scary.
 
2013-03-04 09:54:58 PM
One person's prank is another person's unethical research.
 
2013-03-04 09:56:00 PM
I've been wasting time wondering which one was the bad guy. I was positive this was the tail end of rightful justice and a trick question. Clearly. I think too much.
 
2013-03-04 09:56:22 PM

Dokushin: I allow a slight grin to decorate my weathered countenance, reaching immediately for the button securing my jeans; using slight but sure movements to overcome the friction imposed by my earthen girth, I allow them to note my commando-style lack of undergarments, and then begin the  pelvic thrusting

.

First a jump to the left
 
2013-03-04 09:59:56 PM

Delay: megarian: That depends. Are you contributing to the reduction of my student loans?

Oh wait. Wrong thread. Kind of.

Not that I know of. But, then again you may be an intern.


Actually, I am. One more semester to go for my Masters. And...umm....usually tinfoil-hat maggie saves me from this point... I need an adult.
 
2013-03-04 10:00:14 PM
Pull my gun or knife, and tell the apparent attacker to drop the garrote, yell at both of them to turn away from each other then freeze.
Then shoot the apparent attacker if he keeps up the strangle hold.
Because I've got a concealed carry license, and I tend to travel only in jurisdictions where I can legally carry.
And the acting attacker would be lucky, because many who practice concealed carry might not be so cautious.
 
2013-03-04 10:00:26 PM
A lot of you are just farking stupid. What do I do?

I beat the shiat out of the attacker until he's unconscious or until I'm told it's a bluff. It's called doing the right thing.

/once chased an armed bankrobber four blocks and held him in an armbar until police arrived
 
2013-03-04 10:01:01 PM
Fark I am disappoint.
pauljohnwhite.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-04 10:02:15 PM

MBK: Kick the attacker in the head.


if the dude was down low like that, it's definitely punt his head. what would have happened if the guy got his nose broken from me, doing this stupid prank?
 
2013-03-04 10:02:25 PM
get out of the way, you're doing it wrong you have to force the thumb in the jugguler like this
 
2013-03-04 10:03:25 PM

Lucky LaRue: I check dictionary.com on my cell phone for the definition of "man bag"


It's European!
 
2013-03-04 10:04:40 PM
Kick them both in the head. In the ensuing confusion, drag one of them off and hit all the buttons. When the door closes, kick the guy you are with and head for the stairs.
 
2013-03-04 10:05:15 PM

eyeq360: This thread just got greenlit and will be on the main page.  I wonder what the liters will make of all of this stuff?


What, you think you're so different than the other people who don't pay 5 bucks a month to get all the shiatty submissions?  Get over yourself.
 
2013-03-04 10:07:57 PM
Pop quiz hotshot. The elevator door opens and one man is choking another to death. You have a cell phone, a man bag, and your car keys. What do you do?

I pull out a gun and shoot the strangler, then we all share a good laugh at their wacky prank?
 
2013-03-04 10:08:37 PM
Rub my key agains my man bag and call the 1900 number
 
2013-03-04 10:11:14 PM
If you pulled the gun out and they immediately let the dude go and backed away shiatting their pants into the corner of the elevator, would you still kill him?

/car keys to the eye sockets, easy
 
2013-03-04 10:13:44 PM

NutWrench: Pop quiz hotshot. The elevator door opens and one man is choking another to death. You have a cell phone, a man bag, and your car keys. What do you do?

I pull out a gun and shoot the strangler, then we all share a good laugh at their wacky prank?


It took some time for us to get to this comment...
 
2013-03-04 10:13:58 PM

megarian: Delay: megarian: That depends. Are you contributing to the reduction of my student loans?

Oh wait. Wrong thread. Kind of.

Not that I know of. But, then again you may be an intern.

Actually, I am. One more semester to go for my Masters. And...umm....usually tinfoil-hat maggie saves me from this point... I need an adult.


LoL, big hug, you'll be alright : )
 
2013-03-04 10:14:26 PM
No good deed goes unpunished as evidenced throughout history.
I would just stand there and wait for the next elevator contemplating why I have a man bag because if I intervened and saved the day somebody somewhere would sue me for something.
 
2013-03-04 10:14:56 PM
Tell the aggressor his fly is open. When he looks down, point at him and laugh.
 
2013-03-04 10:19:07 PM

GWSuperfan: Silentbob768768: posting to say hi to my TC friends...hiiii gw llama blushing everyone!

WOOOOOOOO!!!!!


how goes it
 
2013-03-04 10:19:47 PM
Please tell me someone kicked both their asses after finding out what they were up to.
 
2013-03-04 10:19:50 PM
Say you're prohibited from acting by your facility policy and walk away?
 
2013-03-04 10:27:28 PM

99.998er: Tell the aggressor his fly is open. When he looks down, point at him and laugh.


if he's busy choking that guy, you could probably get in a wet willie, a wedgie, and maybe an indian burn before the struggle is over.
 
2013-03-04 10:28:01 PM

megarian: Delay: megarian: That depends. Are you contributing to the reduction of my student loans?

Oh wait. Wrong thread. Kind of.

Not that I know of. But, then again you may be an intern.

Actually, I am. One more semester to go for my Masters. And...umm....usually tinfoil-hat maggie saves me from this point... I need an adult.


I have heard that physically and symbolically when an adult tongues a youngster's toes there are good things to be said about it
 
2013-03-04 10:30:26 PM
I... wish I could farky all of you at once. For everything. I love you guys (and gals. And guygals.).
 
2013-03-04 10:33:42 PM
I would hang myself with my man bag, because I was carrying a man bag and didn't deserve to live.

/man bag
 
2013-03-04 10:34:37 PM
What the fark is going on in here? Oh, standard ITG shiat, a random TC shout out, and llama throwing tampons At strangers. Par for the course, carry on.
 
2013-03-04 10:38:18 PM
Masturbate furiously. Odds are the attacker will be so freaked out he stops.
 
2013-03-04 10:38:37 PM
Let me see. I would record it, and when they are done, put my phone in my man bag, take out my car keys and run to my car, drive home, and once I get home watch the video and beat off frivolously.
 
2013-03-04 10:39:06 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: A real attacker wouldn't put his arm around her shoulder then pause briefly like that to perfectly set himself up for a belly-to-back suplex.


I noticed that too.
 
2013-03-04 10:39:37 PM
Kick the attacker in the heaPromise to kick victim in head, hit emergency button, dial 911.
Say, "yippee kai ay motherfarkers. Wrong Floor."
 
2013-03-04 10:42:54 PM
have a heart attack and sue the f*ck out of those idiots?
i guess if he looked like travon i'd shoot him.
 
2013-03-04 10:44:43 PM

Silentbob768768: how goes it


Oh, you know... kicking ass and taking names as usual. How about yourself?
 
2013-03-04 10:46:51 PM

Delay: megarian: Delay: megarian: That depends. Are you contributing to the reduction of my student loans?

Oh wait. Wrong thread. Kind of.

Not that I know of. But, then again you may be an intern.

Actually, I am. One more semester to go for my Masters. And...umm....usually tinfoil-hat maggie saves me from this point... I need an adult.

I have heard that physically and symbolically when an adult tongues a youngster's toes there are good things to be said about it


Tell ya what...I'll do some experiments. Figure some maths. I'll carry some two's...for SCIENCE.
 
2013-03-04 10:47:12 PM
The guy holding the couch is my favorite.
He looks like he's pondering whether or not there's room enough for himself and his stuff amid the ruckus.
 
2013-03-04 10:51:03 PM
I say oops upside your head say oops upside your head
Say oops upside your head say oops upside your head
Pay attention now
I say oops upside your head say oops upside your head
Say oops upside your head say oops upside your head
 
2013-03-04 10:54:24 PM

C18H27NO3: The guy holding the couch is my favorite.
He looks like he's pondering whether or not there's room enough for himself and his stuff amid the ruckus.


Do you know how far away the cargo elevator is? They don't pay him enough for that.
 
2013-03-04 10:54:52 PM

IamAwake: so uh, what happens when a prankster like this stumbles upon someone with a conceal carry permit, that just shoots the attacker?


Best videos EVAR!
 
2013-03-04 10:55:45 PM

mrswood: what if the choker is the good guy and the chokee is the bad guy? how do i know which side i'm on?


Given the position they were in you could probably kick the aggressor in the face and follow it up with a quick crotch shot to the other as he stands up. Probably what I would do. Then again I spend a lot of my day hoping to be in a situation where I can cram a boot heel in someone's face.

/Not LAPD.
 
2013-03-04 11:03:46 PM

Porndip Poonpat: arentol


I am not trying to scare anyone. I am stating a fact relevant to the headline... A fact idiots like this might want to consider before pulling shiat like this and getting the crap scared out of them by someone who is actually prepared to deal with the situation.
 
2013-03-04 11:07:16 PM
Walk the fark away.  Learned long ago that getting involved in other people's violent problems only makes you a target of their derp headed violence.  If you're stupid enough to resort to violence in public, you're too stupid for me to be involved with.
 
2013-03-04 11:07:26 PM
I whip my hair back and forth.
 
2013-03-04 11:12:17 PM
Trick question. Do any of us really exist?
 
2013-03-04 11:12:48 PM
Drop all that stuff and use my kara-TAY.
 
2013-03-04 11:13:02 PM
It would have ran better as a comedy after a police dog broke them up.

I'm surprised the producer didn't think of that.
 
2013-03-04 11:14:04 PM

Spaced Cowboy: Walk the fark away.  Learned long ago that getting involved in other people's violent problems only makes you a target of their derp headed violence.  If you're stupid enough to resort to violence in public, you're too stupid for me to be involved with.


Exactly.

Also- they can probably come up with a few good reasons to sue you for getting involved.
 
2013-03-04 11:14:53 PM
Seriously. I know this test didn't happen in Texas, since the odds of getting shot are very good.
 
2013-03-04 11:19:04 PM
I'd take my hatchet out of my man bag, and be all like, smash, smash smuh-ashia

then I'd grab their wallets and run.
 
2013-03-04 11:19:17 PM
ditch the man bag before the guy sees me with it.
 
2013-03-04 11:19:44 PM

ongbok: Let me see. I would record it, and when they are done, put my phone in my man bag, take out my car keys and run to my car, drive home, and once I get home watch the video and beat off frivolously.


Like "in a care-free, silly manner"?
 
2013-03-04 11:21:37 PM

Jclark666: I'd take my hatchet out of my man bag, and be all like, smash, smash smuh-ashia

then I'd grab their wallets and run.


whoa, sweet filterpwnage
 
2013-03-04 11:22:17 PM

C18H27NO3: The guy holding the couch is my favorite.
He looks like he's pondering whether or not there's room enough for himself and his stuff amid the ruckus.


Same here, I imagine his thought was 'Oh hell no, you see me holding this couch and you are pulling this crap.'  Or, 'Well, he dead and I didn't see a thing'.
 
2013-03-04 11:22:54 PM
Being already a pretty much disarmed public, I'm surprised anyone got involved.
 
2013-03-04 11:25:17 PM
I smell, "The Blair witch project"
 
2013-03-04 11:30:04 PM
This is an excellent way to get your actors murdered.
 
2013-03-04 11:32:30 PM

Jclark666: I'd take my hatchet out of my man bag, and be all like, smash, smash smuh-ashia

then I'd grab their wallets and run.


You've changed, Kai. Fame's changed you, man.
 
2013-03-04 11:34:00 PM

StokeyBob: Being already a pretty much disarmed public, I'm surprised anyone got involved.


Oh, you think it's a <i>real</i> fake murder experiment, and that wouldn't get those guys an introduction to how a non-gun-carrying police force handles nuisance-makers after the very first iteration.  That's cute.  They also apparently found the most ethnically diverse elevator in the UK.
 
2013-03-04 11:34:22 PM
I also refuse to believe an actual murder is being committed unless a long haired ghostly figure points from a shadowy corner with a long, bony finger and rasps "Muuuuurrrrddderrrrrr........"
 
2013-03-04 11:35:06 PM

Phil Moskowitz: This is an excellent way to get your actors murdered.


As if that wasn't the intent all along. Publicity bonanza!
 
2013-03-04 11:38:11 PM

LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

[img.photobucket.com image 139x192]


www.bearstudy.org


That bear cub will never sleep again
 
2013-03-04 11:46:57 PM
Sue them.
Seriously, fark these assholes.
 
2013-03-04 11:47:08 PM
The old man taught me that if someone is choking me, one remedy is to attempt to break the little fingers.  Then he taught me a choking technique that tucks the little fingers in.  There is a certain orthogonality about the old reprobate.
 
2013-03-04 11:50:10 PM

Jclark666: UK


Except it wasn't in the UK.
 
2013-03-04 11:56:44 PM
Me: "You going up or down?"
 
2013-03-04 11:57:49 PM
Kick the attacker in the head as hard as I could, and then when I find out it's an "experiment" (*cough*stupidcrueljoke*coughcough*) punch the "victim" square in the face.

If these idiots got shot doing this crap it'd be like a tidal wave of rainbow karma unicorns.
 
2013-03-04 11:59:23 PM
What if the choker is actually the good guy? Maybe the other guy is a raving psycho and the other guy fought back and managed to get the upper hand just as the doors opened. What then, biatches!?

Seriously funny thread. That'll do, Fark, that'll do.
 
2013-03-05 12:12:07 AM
Double-drop-kick both of them, then send the elevator down to the lobby and call whatever passes for the building's front desk.
 
2013-03-05 12:21:38 AM
I carry a heavy purse. I'd like to think I'd have the presence of mind to use it to beat off the "assailant" with it. But you never know until you're in it.
 
2013-03-05 12:25:45 AM
i'd drop  my pants, they obviously mean business.
 
2013-03-05 12:44:41 AM
Chid them for their shenanigans.
 
2013-03-05 12:48:15 AM
pull out the phone and submit the question on Fark...even though I'd expect tons of Kwame's dolls captioned pictures
 
2013-03-05 12:55:25 AM
One can never really say with certainty how they would react to a high stress situation, but I am highly trained. I'm pretty sure I would take off all my clothes, take the pink feather boa out of my man bag, and sing broadway show tunes in my best Celine Dion voice while stroking my chest hair.

/Of course, sometimes I do that on elevators even when no one is being murdered.
 
2013-03-05 01:04:19 AM
Set up the cell phone in the corner to film, kick the attacker in the balls as hard as possible, stab him in the eyes with the keys so he can't find me to hunt me down, put the cell phone in my 'man bag' after uploading the video to youtube, and profit.
 
2013-03-05 01:07:05 AM

Brainsick: [i127.photobucket.com image 300x248]
Start strangling the dude strangling the other dude

/There can be only one


I'm just gonna stop right here. I've seen enough. Thank you.
 
2013-03-05 01:09:38 AM

mrswood: what if the choker is the good guy and the chokee is the bad guy? how do i know which side i'm on?


Jument: What if the choker is actually the good guy? Maybe the other guy is a raving psycho and the other guy fought back and managed to get the upper hand just as the doors opened. What then, biatches!?

Seriously funny thread. That'll do, Fark, that'll do.


These. I'd hate to be the guy that thinks he's helping when in actuality I just gave the bad guy the upper hand. I'd try to pry them apart and keep the peace until the fuzz arrive.
 
2013-03-05 01:10:53 AM

Lucky LaRue: I check dictionary.com on my cell phone for the definition of "man bag"


after a bazillion comments, I still don't know.
 
2013-03-05 01:38:01 AM

Just_a_Bear: Lucky LaRue: I check dictionary.com on my cell phone for the definition of "man bag"

after a bazillion comments, I still don't know.


Never saw the old Seinfeld episode?
 
2013-03-05 01:40:12 AM
I really can't believe no one has died or been killed doing this kind of shiat. I would be BEYOND pissed.

And I don't know if I'd like to think I'd jump in and try to physically help or just stand there and scream. In other situations (less scary than this) I've jumped in...but that's probably the stupidest farking thing to do.

But that guy filming it, what in the farkity fark.
 
2013-03-05 01:45:51 AM
What would I do? I'd be pissed that because they were murdering, I would have to take the stairs.
 
2013-03-05 01:50:29 AM
Nuke the planet from orbit.  It's the only way to be sure.
 
2013-03-05 01:51:40 AM
Answer: scream into your cell phone, "THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIME!", then grab the assailant and torture him to death, bring him back to life, and demand he tell you who he is working for.

/Suprised to be the first to connect man bag and cell phone to Bauer.
 
2013-03-05 01:52:38 AM

PunGent: Just_a_Bear: Lucky LaRue: I check dictionary.com on my cell phone for the definition of "man bag"

after a bazillion comments, I still don't know.

Never saw the old Seinfeld episode?


nope
 
2013-03-05 02:13:02 AM
a1.mzstatic.com
 
2013-03-05 02:22:10 AM

MBK: Kick the attacker in the head.


That was my first instinct, but then I considered that I'm coming into this during the middle of the movie. What if the attacker is actually defending himself successfully from a deranged murderer who tried to kill him the elevator? Kicking the presumed attacker in the head might release a knife wielding madman back into the world.
 
2013-03-05 02:27:36 AM

Blushing Wall Flower: LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!

And I disagree. Nothing hynotizes a man like an unbalanced pair of boobs. They can't look away, it's like watching a trainwreck with nipples.


 If I Farkied people, 'trainwreck with nipples' would be really tempting.
 
2013-03-05 03:17:05 AM
Leave it to the hipster douche to take a photo with his smartphone.
 
2013-03-05 03:33:28 AM

daveb0rg: eyeq360: This thread just got greenlit and will be on the main page.  I wonder what the liters will make of all of this stuff?

What, you think you're so different than the other people who don't pay 5 bucks a month to get all the shiatty submissions?  Get over yourself.


Still, it wasn't until it hit the main page that all the ITG posts started to show up, while the first part of the thread was hilarious.

/kinda miss my short spell on TF but it took way too much of my time
 
2013-03-05 03:54:07 AM

Kumana Wanalaia: I search the area for traps, hidden doors and compartments.


1.bp.blogspot.com
Approves of both searching for hidden compartments and strangling people in elevators.
 
2013-03-05 07:26:48 AM
i'd just walk away
i'm a BARTENDER not a BYSTANDER!
 
2013-03-05 07:40:52 AM

GBB: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 638x429]

Isn't this the default now?


Well, it only takes a second (and that second is very unlikely to be life or death) and you'll have evidence of who did what.
 
2013-03-05 07:52:55 AM
One man is choking another to death.
I have a cell phone, a man bag, and my car keys?

Better drink my own piss.
 
2013-03-05 08:37:30 AM
What do you mean? An African or European man bag?
 
2013-03-05 08:43:07 AM

mrlewish: Fark I am disappoint.
[pauljohnwhite.files.wordpress.com image 410x179]


"Man bag? What's that?"
"You know what a purse is?"
"Of course!"
"Same thing."
 
2013-03-05 08:50:39 AM

GBB: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 638x429]

Isn't this the default now?


I would be the worst witness ever, I can't even properly identify my waiter beyond the old one or fat one. Even then I frequently get them mixed up with the hostess.  So that actually may be the most helpful thing I could do to identify the attacker if they (hopefully) flee.
 
2013-03-05 09:01:07 AM
Donkey punch.
 
2013-03-05 10:52:47 AM
Call Zed, wake up The Gimp. Duh.
 
2013-03-05 11:14:11 AM
I like the fire extinguisher idea.

I might also pull the building fire alarm just so the combatants hear it and know that an emergency response is on the way.
 
2013-03-05 12:29:00 PM

RobSeace: mrlewish: Fark I am disappoint.
[pauljohnwhite.files.wordpress.com image 410x179]

"Man bag? What's that?"
"You know what a purse is?"
"Of course!"
"Same thing."


It's a European Carry-All!
 
2013-03-05 04:47:06 PM

GWSuperfan: Silentbob768768: how goes it

Oh, you know... kicking ass and taking names as usual. How about yourself?


kicking ass but ive given up on taking names
 
2013-03-05 08:04:06 PM
I would stand my ground and shoot both of them dead
 
2013-03-05 09:28:16 PM
Can't believe I haven't seen this here, but...


blog.bestitalianleather.com

Functional *and* stylish.
 
2013-03-06 12:59:12 AM
Novart

I would stand my ground and shoot both of them dead

Sure, they were beating each other up right at you.
 
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