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(Daily Mail)   Pop quiz hotshot. The elevator door opens and one man is choking another to death. You have a cell phone, a man bag, and your car keys. What do you do?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 268
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17591 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 8:25 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-04 10:47:12 PM  
The guy holding the couch is my favorite.
He looks like he's pondering whether or not there's room enough for himself and his stuff amid the ruckus.
 
2013-03-04 10:51:03 PM  
I say oops upside your head say oops upside your head
Say oops upside your head say oops upside your head
Pay attention now
I say oops upside your head say oops upside your head
Say oops upside your head say oops upside your head
 
2013-03-04 10:54:24 PM  

C18H27NO3: The guy holding the couch is my favorite.
He looks like he's pondering whether or not there's room enough for himself and his stuff amid the ruckus.


Do you know how far away the cargo elevator is? They don't pay him enough for that.
 
2013-03-04 10:54:52 PM  

IamAwake: so uh, what happens when a prankster like this stumbles upon someone with a conceal carry permit, that just shoots the attacker?


Best videos EVAR!
 
2013-03-04 10:55:45 PM  

mrswood: what if the choker is the good guy and the chokee is the bad guy? how do i know which side i'm on?


Given the position they were in you could probably kick the aggressor in the face and follow it up with a quick crotch shot to the other as he stands up. Probably what I would do. Then again I spend a lot of my day hoping to be in a situation where I can cram a boot heel in someone's face.

/Not LAPD.
 
2013-03-04 11:03:46 PM  

Porndip Poonpat: arentol


I am not trying to scare anyone. I am stating a fact relevant to the headline... A fact idiots like this might want to consider before pulling shiat like this and getting the crap scared out of them by someone who is actually prepared to deal with the situation.
 
2013-03-04 11:07:16 PM  
Walk the fark away.  Learned long ago that getting involved in other people's violent problems only makes you a target of their derp headed violence.  If you're stupid enough to resort to violence in public, you're too stupid for me to be involved with.
 
2013-03-04 11:07:26 PM  
I whip my hair back and forth.
 
2013-03-04 11:12:17 PM  
Trick question. Do any of us really exist?
 
2013-03-04 11:12:48 PM  
Drop all that stuff and use my kara-TAY.
 
2013-03-04 11:13:02 PM  
It would have ran better as a comedy after a police dog broke them up.

I'm surprised the producer didn't think of that.
 
2013-03-04 11:14:04 PM  

Spaced Cowboy: Walk the fark away.  Learned long ago that getting involved in other people's violent problems only makes you a target of their derp headed violence.  If you're stupid enough to resort to violence in public, you're too stupid for me to be involved with.


Exactly.

Also- they can probably come up with a few good reasons to sue you for getting involved.
 
2013-03-04 11:14:53 PM  
Seriously. I know this test didn't happen in Texas, since the odds of getting shot are very good.
 
2013-03-04 11:19:04 PM  
I'd take my hatchet out of my man bag, and be all like, smash, smash smuh-ashia

then I'd grab their wallets and run.
 
2013-03-04 11:19:17 PM  
ditch the man bag before the guy sees me with it.
 
2013-03-04 11:19:44 PM  

ongbok: Let me see. I would record it, and when they are done, put my phone in my man bag, take out my car keys and run to my car, drive home, and once I get home watch the video and beat off frivolously.


Like "in a care-free, silly manner"?
 
2013-03-04 11:21:37 PM  

Jclark666: I'd take my hatchet out of my man bag, and be all like, smash, smash smuh-ashia

then I'd grab their wallets and run.


whoa, sweet filterpwnage
 
2013-03-04 11:22:17 PM  

C18H27NO3: The guy holding the couch is my favorite.
He looks like he's pondering whether or not there's room enough for himself and his stuff amid the ruckus.


Same here, I imagine his thought was 'Oh hell no, you see me holding this couch and you are pulling this crap.'  Or, 'Well, he dead and I didn't see a thing'.
 
2013-03-04 11:22:54 PM  
Being already a pretty much disarmed public, I'm surprised anyone got involved.
 
2013-03-04 11:25:17 PM  
I smell, "The Blair witch project"
 
2013-03-04 11:30:04 PM  
This is an excellent way to get your actors murdered.
 
2013-03-04 11:32:30 PM  

Jclark666: I'd take my hatchet out of my man bag, and be all like, smash, smash smuh-ashia

then I'd grab their wallets and run.


You've changed, Kai. Fame's changed you, man.
 
2013-03-04 11:34:00 PM  

StokeyBob: Being already a pretty much disarmed public, I'm surprised anyone got involved.


Oh, you think it's a <i>real</i> fake murder experiment, and that wouldn't get those guys an introduction to how a non-gun-carrying police force handles nuisance-makers after the very first iteration.  That's cute.  They also apparently found the most ethnically diverse elevator in the UK.
 
2013-03-04 11:34:22 PM  
I also refuse to believe an actual murder is being committed unless a long haired ghostly figure points from a shadowy corner with a long, bony finger and rasps "Muuuuurrrrddderrrrrr........"
 
2013-03-04 11:35:06 PM  

Phil Moskowitz: This is an excellent way to get your actors murdered.


As if that wasn't the intent all along. Publicity bonanza!
 
2013-03-04 11:38:11 PM  

LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

[img.photobucket.com image 139x192]


www.bearstudy.org


That bear cub will never sleep again
 
2013-03-04 11:46:57 PM  
Sue them.
Seriously, fark these assholes.
 
2013-03-04 11:47:08 PM  
The old man taught me that if someone is choking me, one remedy is to attempt to break the little fingers.  Then he taught me a choking technique that tucks the little fingers in.  There is a certain orthogonality about the old reprobate.
 
2013-03-04 11:50:10 PM  

Jclark666: UK


Except it wasn't in the UK.
 
2013-03-04 11:56:44 PM  
Me: "You going up or down?"
 
2013-03-04 11:57:49 PM  
Kick the attacker in the head as hard as I could, and then when I find out it's an "experiment" (*cough*stupidcrueljoke*coughcough*) punch the "victim" square in the face.

If these idiots got shot doing this crap it'd be like a tidal wave of rainbow karma unicorns.
 
2013-03-04 11:59:23 PM  
What if the choker is actually the good guy? Maybe the other guy is a raving psycho and the other guy fought back and managed to get the upper hand just as the doors opened. What then, biatches!?

Seriously funny thread. That'll do, Fark, that'll do.
 
2013-03-05 12:12:07 AM  
Double-drop-kick both of them, then send the elevator down to the lobby and call whatever passes for the building's front desk.
 
2013-03-05 12:21:38 AM  
I carry a heavy purse. I'd like to think I'd have the presence of mind to use it to beat off the "assailant" with it. But you never know until you're in it.
 
2013-03-05 12:25:45 AM  
i'd drop  my pants, they obviously mean business.
 
2013-03-05 12:44:41 AM  
Chid them for their shenanigans.
 
2013-03-05 12:48:15 AM  
pull out the phone and submit the question on Fark...even though I'd expect tons of Kwame's dolls captioned pictures
 
2013-03-05 12:55:25 AM  
One can never really say with certainty how they would react to a high stress situation, but I am highly trained. I'm pretty sure I would take off all my clothes, take the pink feather boa out of my man bag, and sing broadway show tunes in my best Celine Dion voice while stroking my chest hair.

/Of course, sometimes I do that on elevators even when no one is being murdered.
 
2013-03-05 01:04:19 AM  
Set up the cell phone in the corner to film, kick the attacker in the balls as hard as possible, stab him in the eyes with the keys so he can't find me to hunt me down, put the cell phone in my 'man bag' after uploading the video to youtube, and profit.
 
2013-03-05 01:07:05 AM  

Brainsick: [i127.photobucket.com image 300x248]
Start strangling the dude strangling the other dude

/There can be only one


I'm just gonna stop right here. I've seen enough. Thank you.
 
2013-03-05 01:09:38 AM  

mrswood: what if the choker is the good guy and the chokee is the bad guy? how do i know which side i'm on?


Jument: What if the choker is actually the good guy? Maybe the other guy is a raving psycho and the other guy fought back and managed to get the upper hand just as the doors opened. What then, biatches!?

Seriously funny thread. That'll do, Fark, that'll do.


These. I'd hate to be the guy that thinks he's helping when in actuality I just gave the bad guy the upper hand. I'd try to pry them apart and keep the peace until the fuzz arrive.
 
2013-03-05 01:10:53 AM  

Lucky LaRue: I check dictionary.com on my cell phone for the definition of "man bag"


after a bazillion comments, I still don't know.
 
2013-03-05 01:38:01 AM  

Just_a_Bear: Lucky LaRue: I check dictionary.com on my cell phone for the definition of "man bag"

after a bazillion comments, I still don't know.


Never saw the old Seinfeld episode?
 
2013-03-05 01:40:12 AM  
I really can't believe no one has died or been killed doing this kind of shiat. I would be BEYOND pissed.

And I don't know if I'd like to think I'd jump in and try to physically help or just stand there and scream. In other situations (less scary than this) I've jumped in...but that's probably the stupidest farking thing to do.

But that guy filming it, what in the farkity fark.
 
2013-03-05 01:45:51 AM  
What would I do? I'd be pissed that because they were murdering, I would have to take the stairs.
 
2013-03-05 01:50:29 AM  
Nuke the planet from orbit.  It's the only way to be sure.
 
2013-03-05 01:51:40 AM  
Answer: scream into your cell phone, "THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIME!", then grab the assailant and torture him to death, bring him back to life, and demand he tell you who he is working for.

/Suprised to be the first to connect man bag and cell phone to Bauer.
 
2013-03-05 01:52:38 AM  

PunGent: Just_a_Bear: Lucky LaRue: I check dictionary.com on my cell phone for the definition of "man bag"

after a bazillion comments, I still don't know.

Never saw the old Seinfeld episode?


nope
 
2013-03-05 02:13:02 AM  
a1.mzstatic.com
 
2013-03-05 02:22:10 AM  

MBK: Kick the attacker in the head.


That was my first instinct, but then I considered that I'm coming into this during the middle of the movie. What if the attacker is actually defending himself successfully from a deranged murderer who tried to kill him the elevator? Kicking the presumed attacker in the head might release a knife wielding madman back into the world.
 
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