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(Daily Mail)   Pop quiz hotshot. The elevator door opens and one man is choking another to death. You have a cell phone, a man bag, and your car keys. What do you do?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 268
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17588 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 8:25 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-04 09:33:40 PM

Altitude5280: No one had a gun?


That reminds me, where I grew up the local Federal Building had a particular elevator door with a bullet-dent in it from a 9mm. An elevator door will easily stop small-arms fire at point blank range.
 
2013-03-04 09:35:37 PM

megarian: I May Be Crazy But...: megarian: There's not an ENTIRE man in my bag. Just parts. And a fifth. And some blow.

You've got man parts in your bag to blow?

megarian: Oh....OH! I read that wrong.

Come to think of it, maybe I should carry a bag. All I can carry without one is a flask.

Exaaaaaaaactly.


Oh well, guess I'll just have to stay home and drink.

In a completely non-alcoholic way, of course.
 
2013-03-04 09:35:57 PM

Fast Moon: So... what would have happened to the pranksters if one of these people was carrying crying?


get a lap dance?

 
2013-03-04 09:37:37 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: megarian: I May Be Crazy But...: megarian: There's not an ENTIRE man in my bag. Just parts. And a fifth. And some blow.

You've got man parts in your bag to blow?

megarian: Oh....OH! I read that wrong.

Come to think of it, maybe I should carry a bag. All I can carry without one is a flask.

Exaaaaaaaactly.

Oh well, guess I'll just have to stay home and drink.

In a completely non-alcoholic way, of course.


Of course. Cheers! In a non-alcoholic way...
 
2013-03-04 09:38:05 PM

neuroflare: davidshi123: Absolutely, perfectly 100% understandable to just walk away.  Being unable to pass a piss test, being high in general, outstanding warrant (hell even if it's traffic), or just hating the police are all good reasons I could see someone walking away from this.

I have been out of this world and interacted with cops before, when you are white-knighting IRL they seem to side with you (or me, but I'm a white male in my late 20's). Drunk driver plowed some people through a median and took off. 5 minutes earlier when the guy nearly put us over the side of the railing we called the cops to report it. We called them again with the mile marker number and waited and gave a report. Did I mention how farked up we were?

That being said I would hope I would kick the guy in the head a couple of times like I'm Sebastion Janikowski, drag him out of the elevator, and wait. One wouldn't get charged for kicking someone try to take another's life, right?


In my experience the cops will typically shake your hand even if you're drunk and kick an attacker in the balls repeatedly.

They're also pretty nice if you're drunk and help with first aid until they show up though. Being white may help.
 
2013-03-04 09:39:27 PM
Since I have a 'man bag', I would obviously raise my hands to head level, shake them repeatedly left-to-right, screaming like a little girl, while peeing my pants.
 
2013-03-04 09:40:35 PM
www.wearysloth.com


Shoot zem. Shoot zem both.
 
2013-03-04 09:41:40 PM
 
2013-03-04 09:42:21 PM

megarian: Delay: megarian: Drink the rest of my whiskey.

And wipe the coke off my nose.

And the tampon thing.

/counting on a slow elevator

Close. Drink the liquor and then show them your toes.

Okay. Just got them done.


Is it time to shower?
 
2013-03-04 09:44:35 PM
Shoot the victim in the knee?
 
2013-03-04 09:46:36 PM

Delay: megarian: Delay: megarian: Drink the rest of my whiskey.

And wipe the coke off my nose.

And the tampon thing.

/counting on a slow elevator

Close. Drink the liquor and then show them your toes.

Okay. Just got them done.

Is it time to shower?


That depends. Are you contributing to the reduction of my student loans?

Oh wait. Wrong thread. Kind of.
 
2013-03-04 09:49:06 PM
Yell the "safe" word.
 
2013-03-04 09:51:39 PM
Wait til an open carrier sees this "prank".
 
2013-03-04 09:52:31 PM

megarian: That depends. Are you contributing to the reduction of my student loans?

Oh wait. Wrong thread. Kind of.


Not that I know of. But, then again you may be an intern.
 
2013-03-04 09:53:21 PM
Good thing the Walmart guy wasn't there.  He would've shot him so that the police can identify him easier.
 
2013-03-04 09:54:15 PM

arentol: My "man bag" has a 10mm in it. So this doesn't end well for these "pranksters".


Oooooh! Scary.
 
2013-03-04 09:54:58 PM
One person's prank is another person's unethical research.
 
2013-03-04 09:56:00 PM
I've been wasting time wondering which one was the bad guy. I was positive this was the tail end of rightful justice and a trick question. Clearly. I think too much.
 
2013-03-04 09:56:22 PM

Dokushin: I allow a slight grin to decorate my weathered countenance, reaching immediately for the button securing my jeans; using slight but sure movements to overcome the friction imposed by my earthen girth, I allow them to note my commando-style lack of undergarments, and then begin the  pelvic thrusting

.

First a jump to the left
 
2013-03-04 09:59:56 PM

Delay: megarian: That depends. Are you contributing to the reduction of my student loans?

Oh wait. Wrong thread. Kind of.

Not that I know of. But, then again you may be an intern.


Actually, I am. One more semester to go for my Masters. And...umm....usually tinfoil-hat maggie saves me from this point... I need an adult.
 
2013-03-04 10:00:14 PM
Pull my gun or knife, and tell the apparent attacker to drop the garrote, yell at both of them to turn away from each other then freeze.
Then shoot the apparent attacker if he keeps up the strangle hold.
Because I've got a concealed carry license, and I tend to travel only in jurisdictions where I can legally carry.
And the acting attacker would be lucky, because many who practice concealed carry might not be so cautious.
 
2013-03-04 10:00:26 PM
A lot of you are just farking stupid. What do I do?

I beat the shiat out of the attacker until he's unconscious or until I'm told it's a bluff. It's called doing the right thing.

/once chased an armed bankrobber four blocks and held him in an armbar until police arrived
 
2013-03-04 10:01:01 PM
Fark I am disappoint.
pauljohnwhite.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-04 10:02:15 PM

MBK: Kick the attacker in the head.


if the dude was down low like that, it's definitely punt his head. what would have happened if the guy got his nose broken from me, doing this stupid prank?
 
2013-03-04 10:02:25 PM
get out of the way, you're doing it wrong you have to force the thumb in the jugguler like this
 
2013-03-04 10:03:25 PM

Lucky LaRue: I check dictionary.com on my cell phone for the definition of "man bag"


It's European!
 
2013-03-04 10:04:40 PM
Kick them both in the head. In the ensuing confusion, drag one of them off and hit all the buttons. When the door closes, kick the guy you are with and head for the stairs.
 
2013-03-04 10:05:15 PM

eyeq360: This thread just got greenlit and will be on the main page.  I wonder what the liters will make of all of this stuff?


What, you think you're so different than the other people who don't pay 5 bucks a month to get all the shiatty submissions?  Get over yourself.
 
2013-03-04 10:07:57 PM
Pop quiz hotshot. The elevator door opens and one man is choking another to death. You have a cell phone, a man bag, and your car keys. What do you do?

I pull out a gun and shoot the strangler, then we all share a good laugh at their wacky prank?
 
2013-03-04 10:08:37 PM
Rub my key agains my man bag and call the 1900 number
 
2013-03-04 10:11:14 PM
If you pulled the gun out and they immediately let the dude go and backed away shiatting their pants into the corner of the elevator, would you still kill him?

/car keys to the eye sockets, easy
 
2013-03-04 10:13:44 PM

NutWrench: Pop quiz hotshot. The elevator door opens and one man is choking another to death. You have a cell phone, a man bag, and your car keys. What do you do?

I pull out a gun and shoot the strangler, then we all share a good laugh at their wacky prank?


It took some time for us to get to this comment...
 
2013-03-04 10:13:58 PM

megarian: Delay: megarian: That depends. Are you contributing to the reduction of my student loans?

Oh wait. Wrong thread. Kind of.

Not that I know of. But, then again you may be an intern.

Actually, I am. One more semester to go for my Masters. And...umm....usually tinfoil-hat maggie saves me from this point... I need an adult.


LoL, big hug, you'll be alright : )
 
2013-03-04 10:14:26 PM
No good deed goes unpunished as evidenced throughout history.
I would just stand there and wait for the next elevator contemplating why I have a man bag because if I intervened and saved the day somebody somewhere would sue me for something.
 
2013-03-04 10:14:56 PM
Tell the aggressor his fly is open. When he looks down, point at him and laugh.
 
2013-03-04 10:19:07 PM

GWSuperfan: Silentbob768768: posting to say hi to my TC friends...hiiii gw llama blushing everyone!

WOOOOOOOO!!!!!


how goes it
 
2013-03-04 10:19:47 PM
Please tell me someone kicked both their asses after finding out what they were up to.
 
2013-03-04 10:19:50 PM
Say you're prohibited from acting by your facility policy and walk away?
 
2013-03-04 10:27:28 PM

99.998er: Tell the aggressor his fly is open. When he looks down, point at him and laugh.


if he's busy choking that guy, you could probably get in a wet willie, a wedgie, and maybe an indian burn before the struggle is over.
 
2013-03-04 10:28:01 PM

megarian: Delay: megarian: That depends. Are you contributing to the reduction of my student loans?

Oh wait. Wrong thread. Kind of.

Not that I know of. But, then again you may be an intern.

Actually, I am. One more semester to go for my Masters. And...umm....usually tinfoil-hat maggie saves me from this point... I need an adult.


I have heard that physically and symbolically when an adult tongues a youngster's toes there are good things to be said about it
 
2013-03-04 10:30:26 PM
I... wish I could farky all of you at once. For everything. I love you guys (and gals. And guygals.).
 
2013-03-04 10:33:42 PM
I would hang myself with my man bag, because I was carrying a man bag and didn't deserve to live.

/man bag
 
2013-03-04 10:34:37 PM
What the fark is going on in here? Oh, standard ITG shiat, a random TC shout out, and llama throwing tampons At strangers. Par for the course, carry on.
 
2013-03-04 10:38:18 PM
Masturbate furiously. Odds are the attacker will be so freaked out he stops.
 
2013-03-04 10:38:37 PM
Let me see. I would record it, and when they are done, put my phone in my man bag, take out my car keys and run to my car, drive home, and once I get home watch the video and beat off frivolously.
 
2013-03-04 10:39:06 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: A real attacker wouldn't put his arm around her shoulder then pause briefly like that to perfectly set himself up for a belly-to-back suplex.


I noticed that too.
 
2013-03-04 10:39:37 PM
Kick the attacker in the heaPromise to kick victim in head, hit emergency button, dial 911.
Say, "yippee kai ay motherfarkers. Wrong Floor."
 
2013-03-04 10:42:54 PM
have a heart attack and sue the f*ck out of those idiots?
i guess if he looked like travon i'd shoot him.
 
2013-03-04 10:44:43 PM

Silentbob768768: how goes it


Oh, you know... kicking ass and taking names as usual. How about yourself?
 
2013-03-04 10:46:51 PM

Delay: megarian: Delay: megarian: That depends. Are you contributing to the reduction of my student loans?

Oh wait. Wrong thread. Kind of.

Not that I know of. But, then again you may be an intern.

Actually, I am. One more semester to go for my Masters. And...umm....usually tinfoil-hat maggie saves me from this point... I need an adult.

I have heard that physically and symbolically when an adult tongues a youngster's toes there are good things to be said about it


Tell ya what...I'll do some experiments. Figure some maths. I'll carry some two's...for SCIENCE.
 
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